The politics of consoles

New Labour: We have a bright vision for the future, where we will defend the rights of all to their own freedom. We want to encourage all people to unite under a banner of peaceful communication and to support a diversity of lifestyles. By encouraging identification we hope to allow people the freedom to explore the world in greater security. We might not be the very best at everything, but we’re probably the best option you’ve got at the moment.

Conservative: We have a vision of a protected nation, a nation where each person can compete fairly, and honestly, with other people from their local community, their own country, or representing their nation. We must defend the security of our people against those who would intrude and try to restrict our industries. We will use identification to prevent people from falsely gaining entry to restricted areas, and to promote open discussions of how to preserve national identity in the twenty-first century.

Liberal Democrats: We might have a leader who looks a bit silly, but our ideas always seem to look fresh compared to the competition. We’re not quite sure how we manage this, because basically we’ve been saying the same things for years and people still aren’t listening to us. Certainly you can work on making sure everyone has a networked identity, but we think as long as the people closest to you know who you are then it’s not going to do any good to any wider organisation to try and generate some massive scheme that boils people down to a string of simple bits of data. We do try new things sometimes, but we have a sneaking suspicion that the other groups just watch us, steal our best ideas, and then use better marketing to take all the credit. If only someone would stop thinking of us as ‘that group that had power so long ago’ then maybe we’d be able to make this world better for everyone.

Sony: We have a bright vision for the future, where we will defend the rights of all to their own freedom. We want to encourage all people to unite under a banner of peaceful communication and to support a diversity of lifestyles. By encouraging identification we hope to allow people the freedom to explore the world in greater security. We might not be the very best at everything, but we’re probably the best option you’ve got at the moment.

Microsoft: We have a vision of a protected nation, a nation where each person can compete fairly, and honestly, with other people from their local community, their own country, or representing their nation. We must defend the security of our people against those who would intrude and try to restrict our industries. We will use identification to prevent people from falsely gaining entry to restricted areas, and to promote open discussions of how to preserve national identity in the twenty-first century.

Nintendo: We might have a leader who looks a bit silly, but our ideas always seem to look fresh compared to the competition. We’re not quite sure how we manage this, because basically we’ve been saying the same things for years and people still aren’t listening to us. Certainly you can work on making sure everyone has a networked identity, but we think as long as the people closest to you know who you are then it’s not going to do any good to any wider organisation to try and generate some massive scheme that boils people down to a string of simple bits of data. We do try new things sometimes, but we have a sneaking suspicion that the other groups just watch us, steal our best ideas, and then use better marketing to take all the credit. If only someone would stop thinking of us as ‘that group that had power so long ago’ then maybe we’d be able to make this world better for everyone.

So who will get your vote in the next year?

One thought on “The politics of consoles”

  1. Nobody. I’m not buying a next-gen console, at least not for several years. I’ll be buying games from this generation of consoles that I’ve missed out on, and playing PC games, which I’m hoping will escape the GRAPHICS = EVERYTHING mentality to which consoles seem to have succumbed (the PC obviously suffers from this, but to, I think, a lesser degree).

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