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> Anyone Need Any Verbal Abuse?, The Agony Uncle that causes agony.
Jonman
post Jul 21 2003, 07:48 PM
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So, any of you feel the need for some verbal abuse, all you have to do is ask. Feeling pent-up confidence that needs some deflating? Obscenely happy, and none-too-happy about it?

Not to worry, Jonman's here to save the day. Not only will I make other folk point and laugh at you, I'll creatively insult aspects of you that may or may not have been insulted before.

Just let me know why I should insult you, and Bob's your uncle, you spam-encrusted bunch of left-footed wellington-boot-faced numpties.


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Sun Tsu
post Jul 21 2003, 07:54 PM
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huh.gif

um.....
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Pab
post Jul 21 2003, 08:04 PM
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AHA! wisdom is spelled with a J ...


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o0fish
post Jul 21 2003, 09:10 PM
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well, i do enjoy being insulted by people i don't know... so have at'er


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Jonman
post Jul 21 2003, 09:11 PM
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QUOTE (Pab @ Jul 21 2003, 02:04 PM)
AHA! wisdom is spelled with a J ...

I'll take that as a request for abuse, you misspelling, pastelheaded pot of clam chowder. I can but hope that the good lord, in his munificence, sees fit to rain down showers of rancid jelly upon your untutored, blobular digits in retribution for your vicious assault on the innocent alphabet.


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vicrawr
post Jul 21 2003, 09:17 PM
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Can you tell me what a bad, bad, bad boy I am? I'm a very bad boy.
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Prince Aries
post Jul 21 2003, 09:21 PM
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Irish - That's disturbing and I think it's time for the verbal spankings.

Jon - His Royal Highness Aries needs a good verbal thrasing the very likes this forum has never seen before. I'm a flippant absent minded fool who rambles incoherently. Bring your worst.


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Jonman
post Jul 21 2003, 09:24 PM
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QUOTE (o0fish @ Jul 21 2003, 03:10 PM)
well, i do enjoy being insulted by people i don't know... so have at'er

I don't know about religion being the opiate of the masses - stupidity seems to be your drug of choice. That's the only way I can explain the stench of idiocy that seems to emanate from you, you knobbly-elbowed flotsom on the sea of humanity.


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Jonman
post Jul 21 2003, 09:36 PM
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QUOTE (IrishGuy @ Jul 21 2003, 03:17 PM)
Can you tell me what a bad, bad, bad boy I am? I'm a very bad boy.

Bad like Michael Jackson.

*dusts hands off*

My work here is done.


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Prince Aries
post Jul 21 2003, 09:37 PM
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QUOTE (Jonman @ Jul 21 2003, 04:36 PM)
QUOTE (IrishGuy @ Jul 21 2003, 03:17 PM)
Can you tell me what a bad, bad, bad boy I am? I'm a very bad boy.

Bad like Michael Jackson.

*dusts hands off*

My work here is done.

*applause* That was indeed verbal abuse unlike any *I* have ever seen.


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The.Wheezing.Gho...
post Jul 21 2003, 09:38 PM
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OO! OO! ME! ME!


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Jonman
post Jul 21 2003, 09:44 PM
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QUOTE (Prince Aries @ Jul 21 2003, 03:21 PM)
Irish - That's disturbing and I think it's time for the verbal spankings.

Jon - His Royal Highness Aries needs a good verbal thrasing the very likes this forum has never seen before. I'm a flippant absent minded fool who rambles incoherently. Bring your worst.

His Royal blah blah blah needs a good verbal thrashing? There's nothing good about the things I've got to say about you, I'm afraid.

Do they call you Aries because of the unsightly lumps growing out of your head, or because of the all-pervading miasma of goat excrement that invariably accompanies you on any of your unwelcome visits? Or is it because of the synapse-meltingly boring RAMbling that you mutter about? Which incidentally has been the only thing to make me consider gleefully filling my ears with superglue since Celine Dion's chart-topping days.


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Prince Aries
post Jul 21 2003, 09:49 PM
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QUOTE (Jonman @ Jul 21 2003, 04:44 PM)
[\ Which incidentally has been the only thing to make me consider gleefully filling my ears with superglue since Celine Dion's chart-topping days.

Ouch. That's harsh, man. Thank you! happy.gif


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Debaser
post Jul 21 2003, 09:51 PM
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/me steps up for a verbal slagging...


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Jonman
post Jul 21 2003, 10:02 PM
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QUOTE (The.Wheezing.Ghost @ Jul 21 2003, 03:38 PM)
OO! OO! ME! ME!

What, is you sig some kind of sick joke? An eyeball, followed by text so small it can't be read? You some kind of twisted degenerate who enjoys taunting blind and semi-sighted folk? I suppose you take great pleasure in challenging quadraplegics to a race, or playing Blind Man's Buff with a deaf person who's 'it'.

People like you make me sick. To the stomach.


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Jonman
post Jul 21 2003, 10:04 PM
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QUOTE (Debaser @ Jul 21 2003, 03:51 PM)
/me steps up for a verbal slagging...

*looks debaser up and down*

It'd be like shooting fish in a barrel - even I don't have the heart.

NEXT!


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Pab
post Jul 21 2003, 10:07 PM
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right, I'm taking the stage for one....

I'd like to dedicate this one to my keyboard ... as good a target as any ...

Keyboard? KEYBOARD? Call yourself a keyboard? You multi-function no-action cheap plastic 102-key bag of rabbit droppings ... your multimedia buttons work worse than a bag of viagra in a hand clinic for compulsive players of the one-string oboe, you pre-molded ergonomical slab of donkey's gonorrhea! You clic-clic-clac like a fart on crack and suck the puss off a dead dingos gonads!

ehem.

Thank you.


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oobunnie
post Jul 21 2003, 10:08 PM
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whats all this ruckus aboot. eh.

I got called a hoser this morning, think you can top that?


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cheese is funny
post Jul 22 2003, 12:06 AM
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do your worse jonman!! <laughs bravely>


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Monkey the Rabid...
post Jul 22 2003, 01:47 AM
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Hey, I could use some abuse.


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The.Wheezing.Gho...
post Jul 22 2003, 01:52 AM
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ow...that kind of hurt .....on the inside..


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Monkey the Rabid...
post Jul 22 2003, 05:51 PM
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Verbally abuse me, you annoying letter swimming in a putrid bowl of donkey urine!


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Jonman
post Jul 22 2003, 06:45 PM
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QUOTE (oobunnie @ Jul 21 2003, 04:08 PM)
I got called a hoser this morning, think you can top that?

Hoser, hm? As in someone that hoses? So, you like gardening then? I'm afraid that there's just no point in hurling verbal abuse at someone who's into gardening. It goes waaay over the line of bad taste, even further than I'm prepared to go. Like telling Jewish jokes at a bris.

Gardening...

pfft.


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The.Wheezing.Gho...
post Jul 22 2003, 06:50 PM
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can you insult me again?


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oobunnie
post Jul 22 2003, 08:05 PM
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QUOTE (Jonman @ Jul 22 2003, 07:45 PM)
QUOTE (oobunnie @ Jul 21 2003, 04:08 PM)
I got called a hoser this morning, think you can top that?

Hoser, hm? As in someone that hoses? So, you like gardening then? I'm afraid that there's just no point in hurling verbal abuse at someone who's into gardening. It goes waaay over the line of bad taste, even further than I'm prepared to go. Like telling Jewish jokes at a bris.

Gardening...

pfft.

Hoser : A clumsy, boorish person, especially an uncouth, beer-drinking person.

But i do kinda like to garden. I plant tree's for the local green peace-ish people. wait thats not gardening. I hate gradening what with the bee's and the flowers.


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