Growing up, we all do it..just some slower than others... Options

[Edward_lover1200]

Greetings to anyone who will take the time to hear me whine. Well I would not so much call this whining as much as an observation. I have been gone for awhile now (on and off due to situations changing) so some of you who have been here for a long time might remember me and remember the short time I came back last may. well now I have moved out on my own and have a steady source of internet. not like before so I have a feeling I will be hanging around a lot more lately, but back to topic. It's been a very long time since I last was on (when I say on I mean every day not just a pop in to see what's been happening) so I thought to myself. Well why not go back and read some of your old posts Liz? maybe it'll make you feel better to remember the good times....


boy was I wrong...

It was nice to remember A time when I could be the ignorant and not even care. I mean I still have A LOT of growing up to do, but I am so proud of how far I have come from being the emo 13 year old I was back then to a responsible 19 year old I am now. granted I am no where near done growing up and still have so much to learn. Hell in the 7 months I've been at my job I have progressed further than most of the people that have been there for years. I even applied for the coaching position and almost got it. But I'm still learning things everyday. I'm just so thankful I am no longer the way I was when I was so young. I've even gone back and deleted some of the older posts so no one can go back and see how I was before.

I guess to sum it up...I just find it amazing to see the process of growing up. to observe how long it takes to reach adult hood. and you know what's sad? I really thought I was mature back then lol.

*gets off soap box* I feel better lol.

So how are you all doing today?

-Liz

[Faerieryn]

Good to see you back hun! I'd just started posting when you were on here all those years ago. I remember that I was living with Cath and laughing at the posts the two of you had left. Growing up is one of those strange things that happens when you don't look for it. I still think I'm going to wake up in my bunk beds with my sisters sleeping in the other beds. I am fine and I hope you stick around and see how far everyone else has come in the last few years

[Hobbes]

Getting old is inevitable.
Growing up is optional.

Even when I was a little boy (if I ever was little) I was never overly keen having birthdays. Naturally, I was more than happy with the whole receiving-of-gifts, but even at the tender age of 7 or 8, I despised the thought of my life ticking by as I grew older. In the last six years I have had huge changes in my life that have forced me to grow up: i moved away from my parents (briefly), my mother died, I became a mortgage-owner and had some independence, I entered a serious relationship which soon included a new home together.

Although I know I am somewhat different now, at almost 26, than I was when i was 7, 10, 15 or whenever, I'm also aware that a lot my past-self still exists, and that I have a great deal of growing up still left to do. And I don't think any of us truly becomes "grown up," because that would imply that we have learnt everything about ourselves and have achieved a perfect sense of self. I think there's plenty of 80+ year olds that have yet to completely grow up, with so much still left to discover.

Indeed, I recently ended the afore mentioned relationship with the idea that the problems within it could not be solved. I have since discovered, with some expensive but much-needed help, that this wasn't necessarily the case: resulting in new problems for myself. But essentially, I hope I learn from these mistakes, and I think that is all that growing up is about. We can do whatever we want in this world, really, to an extent, affecting other people's lives in whatever way we see fit, but we'll never grow up if we don't observe the consequences/results and learn from them.

I still wish I was seven, though.

[Daria]

It may be the music I'm listening to, or your post, or both- but reading that made me cry a little. It was very touching.

I don't really have much else to add.

[Hobbes]

It may be the music I'm listening to, or your post, or both- but reading that made me cry a little. It was very touching.

I don't really have much else to add.

And I'm not really sure what to say to that. I'll assume it must be the music you were listening to, 'cause there was certainly no intention of hitting chords myself... really just saying how I see things at the moment, I suppose.

Thanks, though.

[leopold]

Hey up Liz, long time!

I can't help wondering what motivated you to delete your old posts, though. I think that's a bit like burning old photos, sometime in the future you might look back on them with more fondness, reminisce about the old days when things seemed more straightforward, or perhaps look on them and realise just how far you've come. Yes, perhaps you weren't so great at 13. Most people's high point isn't at 13. But if I think back to how I was back then (which is a quarter of a century ago ) I can see how far I've come and I can take pride in all my achievements from the potential I had at that age. Self-esteem is a fickle mistress, but it's easily conned if you know how to play it

As for growing up, I prefer to think of it as "learning better ways of handling situations". I don't want to actually grow up, it sounds so frightfully dull...

[Hobbes]

I don't want to actually grow up, it sounds so frightfully dull...

Amen to that!

[Eli]

I can't say much myself, only 15. But personally, I could rather care less about growing up. I understand the importance of making the right decisions and how wrong actions can result in regretful outcomes, but the whole idea of 'maturity' seems so bland and colorless. Like eating dry toast.

[leopold]

Quite.

I keep in mind an old proverb; We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing. I don't know who said that, but they were right.

[Daria]

I dunno- you can be mature and yet still young at heart. At least I would like to consider myself mature and yet not someone who is just grasping to be considered Grown Up.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the whole uni thing ... well, wrong. I have my own place, a part time job with a company I have worked for since 2007 (and because I'm self employed, I have to sort out my taxes), a long term (and long distance) relationship that I/ we spend a lot of time and money in train fares in keeping, and I don't want to go clubbing on Thursdays because the drinks are only £1.

The other day, I realised that I live the life of someone maybe five years older, and wondered whether there will be a time when I will want those five years back.

[Edward_lover1200]

maybe saying I've grown up was the wrong choice of words, I've matured. growing up doesn't seem like something I plan to do. I still watch spongebob for cripes sake lol.

[leopold]

Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the whole uni thing ... well, wrong.

Yes, you are. But I suspect you're not on your own, not by a long chalk. Maybe it's down to the crippling level of debt you have to go to these days for the privilege, but there seems to be a degree of seriousness which I just don't get; when I was there, I was out most nights, drinking life-threatening quantities of booze, having a nice schmoke and sleeping with any girl who looked at me twice. And in between all the partying, I attended a few lectures and did a bit of coursework. I was gobsmacked when I went back to the Union bar on a saturday night a couple of years later with some old course mates and discovered there were just four other people in there. When we were there, at 8pm on a saturday it was standing room only and 8 deep at the bar!

George Bernard Shaw once said, "Youth is wasted on the young". Now I'm at an age where "youth" only applies to me vicariously through my kids, I can see where he was coming from. Daria, once you're working full time, you won't be in a position to party. Trust me on this, I tried it - three nights a week and working all week and it's amazing how quickly the candle burns out. Get your youth in now, before it's too late!

I still watch spongebob for cripes sake lol.

I don't. But that has less to do with maturity and more to do with the fact it's not on terrestrial telly at present

[Daria]

Daria, once you're working full time, you won't be in a position to party. Trust me on this, I tried it - three nights a week and working all week and it's amazing how quickly the candle burns out. Get your youth in now, before it's too late!

I've done the working full-time thing- well, it would have been full time if I hadn't taken out Tuesday mornings to teach French to a group of home-ed kids. And I guess it doesn't count all that much because I was working from home and would only have to go into the office a couple of times a week. When I did, however, I would get up around 6:30 and get home at the same time in the evening, as the only way I could get to and from the office would be by taking two buses (the wonders of East London's transport system).
When I was working, I would party more, go to more gigs, and dance the night away in a drunken stupor more than I do now- but that was because when 5:30 came around, I could close my computer and have the rest of the night to me. Now, though, I finish uni, trek across the city to my flat, open my computer, work until midnight, go to bed, get up early and try to get to my 9am lecture on time. I have been making an effort to have one day where I don't do paid work, a week, but when the rota comes out and you need as many hours as possible, I'm not always in a position where I can just let a day's work go. To put it in perspective, I have 15 hours of uni a week (although last semester it was up to 22 hours, including labs on Mondays and Fridays), and try to do 20 hours of paid work as well. If you include the time used up by travelling to and from uni a week (about 4 hours) and the gaps between lectures when I can't go home in-between to work (another 5 hours) then it amounts to the same as a bog-standard full time job- only more split up in the day, and over weekends too.
I had last Saturday "off"- it was amazing. It was the first day in weeks where I didn't have to be at uni or even have my computer open. I am looking forward to the Easter break as well- but only so I can put in more hours at work to try and pay off the outstanding amount I currently owe to HMRC.

It would be lovely to have some sort of "youth" that you talk about, but to be honest I think it's a myth - or at least something only available when you have enough money for it.

[Radaga]

Getting old is inevitable.
Growing up is optional.

:clap:

I decided to halt where I started to be responsible, but was not an old guy yet.. Somewhere around 24-26....

That way I can still enjoy cartoons and hanging out in almost any environment, from teenagers parties to opera houses.

Well, it´s been good so far.. in some years I might review that age. For more or less....