 Random., a few poetic thoghts |
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  Oct 23 2005, 08:57 PM
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#1
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 Member  Group: Established Members Posts: 26 Joined: 21-September 05 Member No.: 2,031 Gender: Female  |
Kreep
Sitting here going through the thoughts of you stored in my head. If only half the thoughts would shut up and let me go to bed. Why is it that everything you say goes straight to my heart? And why do I think of you so much whenever we're apart? When we're together that silence says a lot. How is it that you kreep into my every single thought? -------------------- DEAR READER,
@#*! YOU, YOU @#$) @!$ FOOL. WHY @#*!ING READ THIS %$#@ SIGNATURE? WHAT WILL YOU @#*!ING GAIN FROM READING THIS? sIgNeD, (place signature here) |
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Oct 24 2005, 09:06 PM
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#2
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 Browncoat Group: Established Members Posts: 1,547 Joined: 18-August 05 From: Out in the black Member No.: 1,958 Gender: Female |
This is interesting, but it might work better as song lyrics, especially if you tightened up the meter a little. By the way, in the last line you should have "my" instead of "me." There's a good foundation here and it's a nice poem overall.
 So, why "Kreep?" Is that a name of a band you like, a character you've made up, or what?
-------------------- Sometimes we can choose the path we follow. Sometimes our choices are made for us. And sometimes we have no choice at all. ~Morpheus, King of Dreams
I am a leaf on the wind. See me soar.      |
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Oct 25 2005, 11:44 PM
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#3
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Member Group: Established Members Posts: 26 Joined: 21-September 05 Member No.: 2,031 Gender: Female |
QUOTE (Astarael @ Oct 24 2005, 04:06 PM) This is interesting, but it might work better as song lyrics, especially if you tightened up the meter a little. By the way, in the last line you should have "my" instead of "me." There's a good foundation here and it's a nice poem overall. So, why "Kreep?" Is that a name of a band you like, a character you've made up, or what? Kreep is the nickname I gave to the person that I wrote it for. Thanks for pointing out the typo. -------------------- DEAR READER,
@#*! YOU, YOU @#$) @!$ FOOL. WHY @#*!ING READ THIS %$#@ SIGNATURE? WHAT WILL YOU @#*!ING GAIN FROM READING THIS? sIgNeD, (place signature here) |
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