Telling people how you feel Options

[Pikasyuu]

My best friend's aunt passed away this morning. Her name was Carol, and apparently she was extremely supportive and in general, wonderful. Said best friend got to call her aunt before she left this world and that is completely priceless. If I'd gotten to tell Dayan how head over heels in love I was with him and how perfect, smart, different and enlightening he was before he went away, I would probably feel a lot better about the fact that he isn't here anymore. So in this vein, I'm going to make a big old speech about Matazone so that everyone knows exactly where I'm at.

I started going on this forum when I was 15 years old. Nothing major had happened in my life yet and at the time, it was very exciting. I remember seeing everyone's posts and thinking how cool they were. I remember listening to some of the new, 'weird' music they were into and feeling like it was written just for me and my life. I remember the first time I ever went into iRC and how badly I wanted to fit in. 'Look, it's Jaq! It's LoLo! It's Debaser! It's Candice! It's Missy! It's IndustrialKybosh! It's MrFuzzy! It's Oni_Usagi! They're so popular and cool..they're so far out of my league, I'd better pay attention to everything I say. I hope they like me.' My little fifteen year old world revolved around you guys. I used to run home from school every day and stumble up the stairs to my computer to get on and see more of these amazing people from a whole sea away that I absolutely put on a pedestal.

And then after several months, my father passed away. And then two weeks later, Dayan passed away, and everyone came together and agreed on everything for once - we all missed this wonderful, amazing, not-quite-of-this-world person and couldn't understand why he was gone. I think I spent every waking moment on the phone either crying with someone or just sitting in silence staring at a wall. Nothing solidifies a relationship quite as much as mutual loss does. Especially not such a glaring, huge, confusing and painful loss.

Through the years I kept coming into iRC off and on and saw a lot of things. Candice divorced her husband and fell in love with someone who actually deserved her - someone funny, sweet, kind, creative, genius level smart and in general, the perfect fit for her. She did something huge and moved to the Country Of Origin for all of this and got to live the life she was meant to live. People came and went, some folks dated, some folks broke up, but all in all, the little world we all built kept turning. LoLo met her own Person Who Actually Deserves Her and made a huge move too. (and we miss her)..and I went through every emotion under the sun in front of everyone. There were times where everyone probably hated me and times where everyone probably loved me. These relationships that I value more than anything changed and grew. But one thing will always remain the same - because of the way everyone here and everyone mentioned has shaped my life (and I don't mean left a fingerprint, I mean really, genuinely changed my life), they will always be one of my top priorities. I love you guys. If we talk a lot now, if we don't talk, I think about you. I miss you. I wonder how you're doing. I'm here to listen if anything ever happens. I want the best for you. No matter what you, the person reading, and I, the person writing have been through personally, whether it was bad recently or not, nothing in this world will ever change the fact that I would drop anything for you in a heartbeat.

So, this is my way of saying so. You're all special to me in a more intimate way than most of the people in my daily life are because you have been a part of my daily life for ten years. You all know me better than most of my family does - you've seen me laughing, thrilled, ecstatic, crestfallen, heartbroken, angry, stupid, ridiculous, intolerable, needy, sincere..you've seen every single part of me there is to see, pretty or ugly. I'm glad I met you and I'm glad my life is on the path it is. I'm glad I get to read your status updates every day and that I can check in and see how you're doing if I want to. We can fight and bicker and argue or celebrate each other and say all of these wonderful things, but the point is, I have the luxury of saying it to you. Like I said, no matter how long we go without saying a word, this is how I feel.

And that's it. I love you guys. Thanks for all the smiles and everything else you've done for me - it's a very tall order.

[BigMistake]

Realizing I'm the newbie here so some things might not apply to me, but you guys are awesome. But I think you know

[vicrawr]

Love you too.

[Hobbes]

<3

[Mata]

I made this place for people like you, who needed to find people like everyone here. It turns out I also made it for me, who also needed to find you all.

It's funny, but as my private life takes some more curious turns, I suspect I may be sharing a few more things and ideas on here than on Facebook. This place is like an open refuge - anyone who comes here is automatically more likely to be a person I don't mind knowing some more private things about me. On Facebook... Well, there are people there from all over the place, some of whom probably wouldn't want to know things that I could write on there, but this forum is my home ground. I trust people on here, even though I know it's open to everyone I also know that this is my space where, if someone questions me, I can say 'it's my space and I can do what I want here'. There's more than one student of mine on here, and the funny thing is that purely by them coming here I suspect I can trust their discretion a little.

The great thing is, that this applies to you all too. You can say things here that you might not say elsewhere purely because there is a little bit more secrecy behind a user name, your employer isn't going to see this, your family probably won't know you're here, your ex-partners won't be following you on here, and your future partners aren't going to look you up on here. There's freedom in this corner of the net.

I love you all too - I now have many of my most long-term friends through here. There are people on here that I think about very often, some that I have met and others that I haven't met yet. You have all shaped my life in ways that I really couldn't have predicted. Your support for my choices over the years have been invaluable, and I know if has been too for other members on here. You are all awesome.

[gothictheysay]

<3
don't know what I would do without all my "online friends", who are very much equal to or surpass my "IRL friends" (someday I'll get a chance to meet some of you, or all of you, I hope) as well as predate most of my current "IRL" friendships.

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

I know I've stopped frequenting this place quite so much. A lot of the time it feels like things have moved on, people have gone their separate ways while staying together. Mostly through that thing that is Facebook. It's not the same, but I won't knock it.

This corner of the internet has been responsible for some of the happiest memories I possess. It's fair to say I wouldn't be who I am today without it, on many levels and I'm grateful for that.
I'm not the best at keeping in touch with people but I do feel like the friend I have from here will always be there to talk to. I don't know if they're glad to hear from me, but I'm always happy to hear from them. I'm grateful for that too.


Also, did you have make it to the UK, Syuu?

[vicrawr]

This corner of the internet has been responsible for some of the happiest memories I possess. It's fair to say I wouldn't be who I am today without it, on many levels and I'm grateful for that.

He said it first and best.

I think about how my life would have turned out had I not been introduce to the forums and I can't imagine it. Literally. And I imagine all sorts of stuff. I can't imagine it because it's been so key to my development as a person. My entire life has branched out from here. I can easily say that you people have been pivotal in my existence. The first death I ever experienced that actually meant something to me me, my first introduction to romance, my first feelings of acceptance, all here. All you people. And I'd never actually thought about how much it's affected me until just now. So thanks. Thank you syuu for getting this sort of thread going and for posting it. And thank you, the one reading this at this very second, a moment that'll never exist again. Thank you all for being a part of me.

[Mata]

Installation of Facebook in my brain is clearly complete: I just wanted to click 'like' on these posts. Sheesh. It's no wonder it's harder to keep forums alive these days! :/

Incidentally, I've been recently discovering that telling people how you feel very openly, but respectfully, can have great benefits for your love life

[Witless]

I come back to try and make the issues section alive again and this is here. Seriously, issues here is the only place that doesn't make me tear my hair out. Try writing a comment on your average forum or comment section on the internet and watch what happens.

Any way, yes, love, love, have many epic memories too. Late night Skype, and Uno games are some pretty great ones I care to share publicly. Facebook is OK, but it's no replacement for the boards. It does come across as a bad news reel some times and here on the boards it was great because people shared the good the bad and the silly stuff.

I have a suspicion that every one that keeps vanishing and then reappearing keeps reappearing at different times and often not spotting each other. Going to have to make it so when people come they get locked in.

[Mata]

Duct tape + ceiling. It's the only way to be sure.

[Pikasyuu]

Also, did you have make it to the UK, Syuu?

no, we would have met.

[Mata]

I figured as much, but I wanted to be sure

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

Also, did you have make it to the UK, Syuu?

no, we would have met.

I figured as much, but I wanted to be sure

What he said.

[vicrawr]

Also, did you have make it to the UK, Syuu?

no, we would have met.

I figured as much, but I wanted to be sure

What he said.

The day syuu makes it over there will be a day of celebration for us all!

[BigMistake]

Also, did you have make it to the UK, Syuu?

no, we would have met.

I figured as much, but I wanted to be sure

What he said.

The day syuu makes it over there will be a day of celebration for us all!

You betcha! I wouldn't miss it for the world.

[Pikasyuu]

i will cry so much, lol

[Mata]

How about at the start of August next year? Say, perhaps, this weekend: http://www.circuswurx.co.uk/conv.php . That way we get to hang out all weekend, do fun stuff, no-one has to catch the last train home, and it generally jolly good fun

Come on, that's a year's notice - you can do it!

[Pikasyuu]

i'm waiting on a settlement from my late grandmother's house to go through to fund this trip. my job is heavily based on the season, so we'll see how much i'm able to save up this fall/winter/spring.