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 Apr 14 2005, 05:48 PM
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 Vive y Deja Vivir  Group: Established Members Posts: 549 Joined: 24-October 03 From: Baltimore, Maryland. Blieve, hon. Member No.: 672 Gender: Female  |
I dunno, I try to be a poet, sometimes it works, other times it doesn't. Go ahead, tear me a new hole, everyone:
Father, Win me over, clever lies Make me believe it's real I'll be there at the end of the night. Resurrect like the Holy Son My dead body waste I'll be there at the end of the night. Your calculated kind words and silver promises plagued with tarnish Blind my senses so I'll be there at the end of the night. Marionette, I have a painted smile Knot my strings, lock me in the dark again I'll be there at the end of the night. Cripple me with fear Starve me with my own barren spine I'll be there at the end of the night. Inside. Always inside. My soul sucked swollen my rotted lips. You and I both know I'll be there at the end of the night. -------------------- "As life gets longer, awful feels softer,
Well it feels pretty soft to me. And if it takes sh*t to make bliss, Well I feel pretty blissfully." |
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Apr 24 2005, 03:21 PM
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 Member Group: New Members Posts: 22 Joined: 19-February 05 From: London Member No.: 1,655 Gender: Male |
i liked it alot, its really deep, well done
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Apr 29 2005, 03:31 AM
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 Super Cool Group: Established Members Posts: 609 Joined: 6-April 05 From: That one country over there--> Member No.: 1,734 Gender: Female |
Wow. That imagery is really powerful. I'm not sure I understand what the poem is about though...
It has great rhythm, and great metaphor, and.... wow. Just beautiful. The first few lines especially captivated me. But the metaphor had no internal logic (not to sound wierd or anything). Maybe I just don't get it? -------------------- Subliminal LIMINAL!! |
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May 9 2005, 07:17 PM
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Vive y Deja Vivir Group: Established Members Posts: 549 Joined: 24-October 03 From: Baltimore, Maryland. Blieve, hon. Member No.: 672 Gender: Female |
Wow, I haven't even checked to see if anyone even read this!
The poem itself is a daughter's... cry for help? journal? letter? maybe just poem? to her father. A poem about rape without being angsty and all "I hate you, blah blah blah." I try not to make crap poetry like that. If I hadn't told you, you wouldn't have known what the narrarator was talking about, but that's one of my favorite things about poetry is that each of our own person experiences shapes what we take from poetry. It doesn't have to be about rape, it could be about someone simply taking the life out of someone else with their mere existance. I live with that every day, sadly. I really enjoyed this poem, so I entered it to my school's paper and whatnot, and wanted to know what people here thought. This is one of the poems that wrote itself, and the specific meaning came to me the same way, it's sort of hard to explain. I'm glad you liked it, thanks 
-------------------- "As life gets longer, awful feels softer,
Well it feels pretty soft to me. And if it takes sh*t to make bliss, Well I feel pretty blissfully." |
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