The Ongoing Story, ever play theatre sports? Options

[Ashbless]

( I await the plot twist with some anticipation. For hopefully amused readers the following is a small guide to Bob. Bob speaking in cat. Silent to humans is in italics, <In the quotes are silent voices of 298 cats that now share Bob's body>, and last *these words are the telepathic broadcasts that can be heard by all characters.* Lord knows there are a lot of characters in and writing this story. )

*I'm sorry I called you a twit, Eric, please let me out. It's Charlie.* but I'm Bob. <Let me do the talking and I'll get us to the lab.>
"Charlie? You can't be. Charlie's an orange tabby." said Eric. He leans over to have a look.
The black cat in the cat carrier looks up at him. *Horrorshow for the glazzies to scan you again malechick. What thinkst thou of my new platties, oh my brother?*
"Charlie? Only you would know Clockwork Orange. Okay. How's the legs? What happened to your fur?"
<We'll have to drag our back legs.> No. No way. <Okay then can we wobble at least, I was partially paralyzed.> Hmmm, okay.
*I want to talk to Doc Boss about that. Have a look.* Eric opens the carrier and watches as Bob staggers out, tail drooping.
"You can walk again, Charlie, that's great!"
*The fur colour started growing in about the same time. Any ideas?*
"Nope. Have to see with the Boss. They're in the chapel."
*How are you and Nigel? Still an item?*
"Now I know you're Charlie" laughs Eric. "You're the only one who clued to us. Yes, he's fine. We're fine. He's up with the Boss. Wait'll you get a load of the clone that replaced you."
*What do you mean?*
"You'll see. Head on up there."

Bob carefully staggers until out of sight. Stetches out the kinks from travel and then picks up some speed.

[DaBear69]

*Hmmm… how curious,* projected Bob the cat to Tort and Marie.

“What is it, Bob?� asked Marie, relaxing on the terrace, overlooking the splendid gardens and rolling backdrop of the Castle grounds. She was wearing nothing but a very revealing bikini, and soaking up the sun’s rays while she could.

Bob stretched, taking out the kinks in his back, put there by a long day of napping in the sun.

*I sense something… something I haven’t felt since…* Trailing off, he suddenly remembered exactly what it was he felt. Off he strolled in his casual cat-like grace belying the panicked haste in which he sought after the good doctor. As soon as he was out of eyesight of his two friends, he burst into a full out sprint, claws gripping the carpet as he rounded the corners heading straight for Dr. D’Bear’s new lab.

Approaching the lab, Bob slowed his Orange-furred self to a casual walk again, hiding his inner turmoil as best as he could. Taking an extra minute to calm down, and slow his breathing, he padded into the doctor’s lab.

*He’s here…* Bob projected calmly to his chubby pet.

“Wha-? Eh? Who’s here?� Steve replied, kind of annoyed at being interrupted from studying the results of his latest endeavor.

*The first one, * Bob was getting exasperated at this silly human, wondering how on Earth the man-thing had managed to be so successful in cloning. The upright ape was brilliant, but sometimes very absent minded… almost as bad as those barking, drooling, lop-eared cat hating demons, *Charlie! He is here, and a force of 298 clones is with him.*

“Are you certain?� Asked the portly researcher, concern creeping into his voice, “I wonder if I should put the security systems on full intruder apprehension status, in case he tries to escape, again.�

*Escape is not his plan, * Sighed Bob, * I must face him… alone.*

<To be continued... but my whom?>

--

This is me ducking into my bear hole behind sandbags due to the obvious corny dialog references.

[Ashbless]

(Um, DaBear, Bob the clone/catman was toasted by the reTort in the obliette with a flamethrower. Did I miss a huge chunk where you managed to write him out of that fate? Ah well, explain it over coffee sometime. Let's run with the cheesy Star Wars homage.)

[DaBear69]

(Yes, I know, but remember Arachnidioc17's input? D'Bear ordered something, but he didn't say what. It could have been the cryogenics lab he contacted. After all, no one ever explained what happened to the original Bob with all these clones running around... heeheehee )

[Ashbless]

(They will now.)

The composite black cat strolled into the lab. Dr. D'Bear was nowhere to be seen. <Excellent, he's still in his study. The security station cameras had it right. Great Bast what is that?> Bob jumped up onto the table. The remains of the burnt reTorts were there. Both were dead but one had a large cavity in it's chest as though something had burst out from the inside. Bob sniffed over the opening. Magic here. There are still traces. Bob twitched his tail in a pattern known since kittenhood and gathered the traces into himself.
A sound caught his ears. He looked up into a familiar face. A spiderlike creature was glaring at him from a nearby cage. *I see you cat. I promise you terror and blood when I get loose. I'll sink my very fangs into your neck and shoot venom in your soul. Um, send Nigel. I want my cookie*
What's that?<After my time, replied Charlie, let's check the computer>
A few pawstrokes quickly defeated D'Bear's password protocalls. <Pets - they're so predictable. Did he really think I'd left without setting a few back doors into the system.> A file on Arachnodoc came up. <It's venomous all right. It's poison raises the body temperature to a high fever. Clone cells can't take it and they combust. D'Bear must have built it to defend himself from the clones.>
I know it's face. A pet with it's face came to visit longhaired lady. It took a bit of blood in a pokey thing.
<A syringe?> The voice of Charlie went quite quiet. <Bob? What's your first memory.> Mother singing me and my siblings the lessons. Why? What's yours? <The lab.> A purr of agreement from the other inside voices. <You weren't created in the lab were you?> No. Of course not. Charlie laughs and a few pawstrokes frees Arachnodoc from his cage.
*Go on then. Go get your cookie. Bob who torments you is around here somewhere. * Charlie says to the Arachnid-like clone.
Keeping an ear on the creature. Charlie quickly finishes his sabotage work on the computer. < That should call back the reTorts to this location. There are also some serious endless loop errors in the computers governing the cloning equipment. Last but not least a tidy sum in a Swiss bank account and the Tort account for us. This computer is now fused.>

A low growl from the doorway.

[DaBear69]

As you may recall from an earlier episode in the story:

Dr. D'bear was feeling quite lazy and exhausted by now. He wanted a drink. He wanted some assistance. He wanted to go back to his lab. His lab! That's it! His laziest idea EVER! Dr. got out his cell phone.

 "Hello? bio-genetics. Seven-six-zero-five-zero-alpha-bravo-foxtrot. Yes. Get the chain. Yes. No. Yes. Doesn't matter. No. Yes. Cover it. Yes. No. The truck. Yes. No. Yes. Goodbye."

Finally, he would use his own hard work for a chance to slack off.
The Dr. had just made a choice that would raise hell, AND the world record for plot twists.

Now to let you in on the whole conversation:

D’Bear: Hello?

Secretary: Hello, Illuminati Center for Research and Development. How may I direct your call?

D’Bear: Bio-Engineering… <pause>

Bio Lab Agent: Boi-genietics. Authorization code, please.

D’Bear: seven-six-zero-five-zero-alpha-bravo-foxtrot (76050ABF)

Agent: Verifying… Dr. Steve D’Bear?

D’Bear: Yes

Agent: This is Primary Lab Tech Jensen speaking, sir. Your verification code is classification 1, top notch, sir. What can we do for you today, sir.

D’Bear: Get the “Chain�

Agent: Are you certain, sir. The “Chain� is filed as a “Beta Omega Beta�

D’Bear: Yes.

Agent: You do realize that this subject has been placed in cryo-stasis?

D’Bear: No

Agent: This Beta Clone is fire resistant, and not fully tested for instability. Are you sure your facility is at a level that you can handle the clone should things go wrong.

D’Bear: Yes.

Agent: So long as you are sure you want this, and know the risks you’re taking… Any particular color?

D’Bear: Doesn’t Matter.

Agent: Would you like us to remove the restrainer?

D’Bear: No

Agent: B.O.B. Prime is due to be thawed and tested again. Would you like him?

D’Bear: Yes.

Agent: This will put the R&D department behind in their research by a substantial time frame. He will be required to be shipped with the monitoring close-circuit mainframe. This computer will be required to be running constantly during shipment, which will require extra care. Automated Signaling of test results can be included in the package, would you like that installed?

D’Bear: Cover it!

Agent: Yes, sir. Shipped immediately then, hot rush?

D’Bear: Yes

Agent: By air, train or the truck?

D’Bear: The Truck

Agent: To the Leap Castle Lab?

D’Bear: Yes

Agent: Would you like additional assistants to accompany?

D’Bear: No

Agent: Very good, sir. Will this be all your section be requiring at the moment?

D’Bear: Yes

Agent: Very good, sir. It has been a pleasure. I live to serve the “All Seeing Eye� and I understand that you are with non-illuminati as per usual...your response in kind will be noted with confirmation word “Goodbye.�

D’Bear: Goodbye.

Agent: B.O.B Prime will be shipped to you immediately. expect receipt within 24 hours. Goodbye.

--

Dr. Steve D’Bear sat back in frustration. Dealing with his compatriots in the Illuminati was tedious at best. He knew they would be asking him for a return on this favor, and what they would be asking was going to be big. It would be the same favor they had requested before and he had refused. As he knew the rules, one could only be permitted to refuse a specific request once, and once only. A second refusal would result in his “Early Retirement� from the secretive society.

At least this time he was prepared to grant their request. All the information he needed to create a stable clone was all hidden in the very fur of the B.O.B. clones, right under their noses. They had been testing them for years, and could still find no clue to his real research. The accompanying computer with the Signaler was the only extra piece he need to unlock the puzzle box.

Maybe it was time he stopped fooling around with the obviously defective clones. They were merely a ruse to keep the Illuminati off his back, anyway. If they knew that he had already solved the problems with the flammable clones, they’d have had his "Nut in a Teacup" a long time ago. There was something about having his brain floating in a “Retirement Jar� like the rest of the great minds of the organization that was really disturbing. Maybe he’d get lucky and blow himself to pieces one day, anything to avoid that particular fate of living death.

On the other hand, that’s what the new clone of himself was for; to escape their clutches one way or another. If the clone dies, they wouldn’t be able to tell it from the original, and that just means they won’t be looking for Dr. Steve D’Bear alive and well, and living right under their noses.

What it all boiled down to is simply this: It was Dr. Steve D'Bear's chance to take an early retirement with a nice big Swiss Bank account, and no one would be the wiser. What a great way to spend the rest of his days slacking off. After all, he'd earned it!

[DaBear69]

And now back to the story at hand. As you will recall, we left Charlie in Dr. D’Bear’s brutally messed up lab, when there is a low growl from the doorway:

Charlie could see nothing in the doorway at first, but the movement of the shadow on the floor indicated something was amiss. The shadow seemed to elongate, then drift upwards, forming a figure that was not quite there. It was thin, gaunt, and no bigger than a sheep. It wasn’t this that caused the forming shadow to cause much fright, but it was the stench of a thousand decaying corpses that accompanied it that made things seem worse. And the stare from those empty eye-sockets, though no eyes were present, just added to the oppressive aire... he could feel them on him like a malicious presence, boring holes through his very soul with thoughts of murderous rage, and lechery.

What is this? Something alive. A cat? Strange I would be able to feed upon a cat’s anger, but ‘tis there. More! Give me more that I may grow strong again! The shadow moved closer to Charlie. The black cat was unable to move, as though paralyzed. The shadow continued in it’s smooth oily whisper of thought, Aaaaah! The witch’s cat. Black as coal, thou. How fitting that I should grow strong on the familiar of the witch that drained me. This place shall be mine again, and no priest or witch will hold sway over me again, be they living or dead. Had I been stronger, the never sleeping one would have been absorbed into my very being long ago, as were all the souls that lay tortured in the place of forgetting.

*Wha-what are you on about?* Charlie was getting very nervous now, still rooted to the spot where he sat.

Thou art the familiar of the white witch, art thou not? Asked the stinking shadow.

*W-w-witch? What witch?* Charlie was on the verge of full feline panic, now.

Play me not the fool! Continued the shadow, Ye shall be absorbed, thy anger will infuse me with spirit anew! In days of old I would have awaited the flickering spark of your life to extinguish in the forgetting place. It would be there that I would have supped upon your dying essences. Now I must search for my meat.

*At last, Charlie, we meet,* Bob the orange tabby stroled into the room unawares, *What the--?!? What the heck is that?*

Blast it all! Screamed the shade, Thou art saved this time, black-one, by your friend. But I shall have you in the end… the place of forgetting. Remember, I await you there. With that, the shadow shrank back to the corner from where it started.

*Phew! What a pom!* thought Bob, Charlie still unmoving from where he was sitting. *Never seen anything like that before… um? Charlie? Didn’t you used to be black?*

For the first time Charlie realized that there was another cat in the room. He also felt something very wet under his tail, and heard some sort of liquid dripping on the floor, *What are you on about, Bob?*

*Well, since you aren’t used to using a litter box for that,* chided Bob, indicating the puddle that had formed under Charlie’s chair, *you might as well try looking into the puddle and have a look for yourself.*

Charlie leapt down from his perch, completely embarrassed. He’d never done anything like that since he was a kit… and not then, either. Nonetheless, look at his reflection he did. Gazing back at him was a snow-white cat. So that’s what they meant by being scared white, his inner voices, however, were dead silent…

[arachnidoc17]

Ok I'm confused, can someone give me a recap of everything going on in the story? Wher are all the clones and where are they going?

[DaBear69]

(Okay, the story so far as I see it. Correct me if I'm wrong, Ash. :

(All the cat clones merged with a re-Tort clone to form a felinoid cat-man. Another reTort fried himself and the cat-man, but not before Bob the orange tabby managed to pull the old chest-burster chestnut to escape a combined doom. He was the only one that managed to escape the flaming reTorts.

(Dr.D'Bear, meanwhile was using his cell phone to contact someone [up to a certain point, unknown]

(Charlie, the Original cat from whence all Bob's were cloned, finally managed to track down his former pet, and his own clones to Leap Castle in Ireland. It was here that the only remaining local Bob clone was to meet up with Charlie for their final confrontation.

(This confrontation has been postponed for the interlude with the elemental of the castle trying to feed on Charlie and the spirits of his former clones within himself(?) and was accidentally saved by his nemisis. In the process, Charlie has turned snow-white from fear, and no longer has contact with the spirits of his other clones. For what reason remains a mystery, and for how long depends on who chips in the next segment of the story)

[arachnidoc17]

Okay then, here goes. The confrontation. Charlie and and an unexpected guest battle it out. I won't finish the battle, hooray, but you will be able to.

[arachnidoc17]

Charlie, Bob, and Arachnidoc gather supplies for the upcoming sunset. They found all sorts of stuff Charlie could use as armor and weaponry. Arachnidoc had taken a dagger and its sheath, and coated it all with venom. This will prove useful the Aracnidoc beamed.

Oh wait, before that happened, they all had a therapy session and solved their differences.

They all equipped Charlie with tasers, lighters, SPF 40, some garbage can lids, the dagger, more random sheets of metal, and all sorts of crazy crap. Charlie stood in silence, barely moving, until sunset.





Off in the distance, somke ran rose up into the air. Before long, silhouettes of seemingly THOUSANDS of clones ran to the castle. Bob stood there, watching. Closer and closer they came, seemingly growing in number. They were all led by Bob, on horseback. The battle cries of the clones were all Bob could hear, and they got louder and louder. They were all running for him. 100 feet. Fifty feet. Ten feet. FIVE FEET!

Bob coudnt remember anything about what had just happened. Bob was fighting, and he felt as though his entire life was fighting the clones. Bob fought and got weaker and weaker, and was suddenly pinned. But then, suddenly, the clones holding Charlie down exploded, and the golfball-sized chunks were immediately set into flames. *What was that?*

How's that feel

Charlie saw a green flame crackling out of nowhere. Who was this, no WHAT was this thing?

You wouldn't know me. All you need to know is, I'm here to exact my revenge on the clones. I was THIS close to ultimate power, and I was killed and returned to my entital form before I could even frickin' smile.

[Ashbless]

(Okay, I was under the impression that Charlie, now the white cat, is the combination of 298 clones and the original cat Bob from post one. Bob the nondescript cat from post one is NOT a clone - and so the combo cat Charlie would be unaffected by Arachnodoc's venom. I've been writing him as having a multiple kitty personality.)

(Bob the Orange cat is D'Bear's henchcat and IS a clone. Twinx missed him in the combination trick. The rogue magics in Leap castle kept him out of her loop. Bob the Orange combined with one of the Tort clones to make the Catman. Catman died at the hands of another Tort clone. Bob the Orange used up the fairy magic left on his fur to save himself. He then burst from the chest of the dead Catman. The only cat in Bob the Orange is Bob.)

(Charlie sent out a signal to all the Tort clones to converge on Leap castle. It appears that they have and have been defeated in battle with the Charlie the White, Bob the Orange, Arachnodoc, and The Green Flame entity. So ALL the Tort clones are finished, done, dead. Charlie also helped himself to Dr. D'Bears funds. The money has been stashed in a Swiss bank account and in Tort's account. D'Bear may not realise that he's broke. )

Where I think we are:
Charlie is in PERIL. The elemental of Leap castle wants to consume the 299 cats within Charlie.
Dr. D'Bear is up to something fiendish with B.O.B. and the Illuminate World Order.
The real Tort and Marie. When last we saw them they were enjoying the sunset but I can't believe that they'd sit out the battle.
The Green Flame Entity - is probably Vincent the dead mafia guy but I can't be sure. I'd say it's also in a heap of trouble with the Elemental of Leap castle awake and annoyed. The megaghost will defend it's territory and it's held Leap castle as it's stomping grounds for hundreds of years. It was last put to sleep by a white witch. In RL it hasn't been heard from in decades. It is a highly dangerous and unpredictable ghost.

[arachnidoc17]

(Okay, I was under the impression that Charlie, now the white cat, is the combination of 298 clones and the original cat Bob from post one.  Bob the nondescript cat from post one is NOT a clone - and so the combo cat Charlie would be unaffected by Arachnodoc's venom.  I've been writing him as having a multiple kitty personality.)

(Bob the Orange cat is D'Bear's henchcat and IS a clone.  Twinx missed him in the combination trick.  The rogue magics in Leap castle kept him out of her loop.  Bob the Orange combined with one of the Tort clones to make the Catman.  Catman died at the hands of another Tort clone.  Bob the Orange used up the fairy magic left on his fur to save himself.  He then burst from the chest of the dead Catman.  The only cat in Bob the Orange is Bob.)

(Charlie sent out a signal to all the Tort clones to converge on Leap castle.  It appears that they have and have been defeated in battle with the Charlie the White, Bob the Orange, Arachnodoc, and The Green Flame entity.  So ALL the Tort clones are finished, done, dead.)

Where I think we are:
Charlie is in PERIL.  The elemental of Leap castle wants to consume the 299 cats within Charlie. 
Dr. D'Bear is up to something fiendish with B.O.B. and the Illuminate World Order.
The real Tort and Marie.  When last we saw them they were enjoying the sunset but I can't believe that they'd sit out the battle.
The Green Flame Entity - is probably Vincent the dead mafia guy but I can't be sure.  I'd say it's also in a heap of trouble with the Elemental of Leap castle awake and annoyed.  The megaghost will defend it's territory and it's held Leap castle as it's stomping grounds for hundreds of years.  It was last put to sleep by a white witch.  In RL it hasn't been heard from in decades.  It is a highly dangerous and unpredictable ghost.

The bold is true.

[Quoth(The Raven)]

"Does this look familier, Twinx?" King Oberon demanded, conjuring up a view of a castle under siege. cats and a green flame were squaring off against a dark force from the castle. An assortment of humans prepared to join in.

"I can't say it does, your majesty," Twinx replied, nervously.

"It should," He thundered, "You caused this! It was your magic that precipitated the awakening of the Elemental of this castle!"

"B-But I fixed the problem with the magic and the cats!"

"You botched it!" He roared, again, "We now have a situation that could lead to the disclosure of magic to the human race! Never mind any potential damage to the non-agression Pact we'd made with the King o' the Cats!"

"But the cat started it..."

"No excuses! I want this matter resolved to everyone's satisfaction, within the next twelveday. Or I'll have you busted down to Goblin control! Got it?"

"Yes, your Highness," She replied, "Right away!"

"Oh," Oberon added, "I want you to take Molly on this assignment."

"Molly?" Twinx' heart sank. "But, Sire, she's just an apprentice..."

"And she can use the practice."

"But, Sire," Twinx Protested, "They don't call her Calamity, for nothing... Her magic is unreliable..."

"Then," Oberon replied, Drily, "You should get along Quite well..."

"But..."

"Go! And don't fail me!"

"Yes, your majesty," Twinx sighed.

Some days, it didn't pay to get outta the hive...

[Quoth(The Raven)]

King Oberon watched Twinx depart, and shook his head. Like pouring Gasoline on flame... He didn't really expect those two nitwits, Twinx and Molly, to be able to straighten this out. More than likely, he'd have to call a cleansing strike against the castle, dissolving everything that moved, including the elemental, in Fairy Flame... a force far older and more powerful than even the elemental.

Still, he thought, Twinx' mother had served with distinction in the Rat/Brownie wars, and he owed it to her memory to at least allow the girl the chance to straighten out her mess... And Molly WAS sixth in line for the throne -- may the Goddess have mercy on their souls.

He might just get better operatives, honed to a sharp edge by the severity of the assignment. Twinx and Molly might just rise to the occasion. He stroked his beard thoughtfully, while considering. Maybe.

Nah.

Making up his mind, he called for Blackthorne.

"Yes, Your majesty?" The ebony Fairy asked, firecoal eyes, as usual, expressing no emotion.

"I want you to trace Twinx and Molly. Don't let them see you."

Blackthorne Smirked. "Sire, please," He replied, "Don't insult me."

"Yes, of course," King Oberon replied, "I wouldn't have sent for you, if you weren't the best. Follow them. Step in only in case of mortal peril. And, if things get too hot, get them out of there."

"You expect trouble, sire?"

"Yes. a great deal of it. Don't play the hero, 'thorne... Let the Flamestrike take care of things, if necessary. Keep those two safe."

Crossing his arms over his chest, Blackthorne bowed to his king. "Thy will be done." Then he flew away.

"Hopefully," Oberon muttered to himself, "Hopefully."

[DaBear69]

Where is this new one? I can feel his ire coursing through me. Powerful his anger is. The Elemental was on the hunt for the ghost of Vincent, They can enter, but they can never le--

What is this? A delicacy I sense. Old as time, but not quite as old as I... The Elemental was now fully awake, Fey magicks I sense, Fairies they be. <low chuckle> I knew that I sensed Fey magic before. I have been since this world was born and even Leprechauns avoid me like an incurable plague, but these ones come hither. Odd. Do they not understand that they, even as a whole race, do not have the power to destroy me? And yet, only two come.

No matter... Now I shall feast upon the raw essences of these Fey, and turn them, chuckled the elemental, I have had no servants since I lost the last batch. They will make excellent Gobins once I have twisted their little hearts into lumps black as night. From they, I shall become powerful once again, feeding as in the days so long ago.

Fey magick is what will sustain me for eons to come. Perhaps if I provoke them enough they will let loose with the Flamestrike I fed off of so very long ago. Aaaaah, the destruction! If the Elemental was incapable of drooling before, he was positively lathered, now, at the prospect of a couple of morsels so tasty, and so long missed.

This disturbance of the arcane around Leap was strengthening the closer Twinx and Molly came to the castle grounds, turning even into a visible event during the night once their tiny feet crossed the boundries of the Elemental's home. Molly was ever so aware of the feeling of pure evil even before she flew over the boundary. It was all Twinx could do to keep herself from fleeing, never mind her apprentice, but onward they went, as bravely as any noble fairie knight of old. Removing the Fey magicks was the only way to get the Primal One to return to its dormancy. They knew they must succeed, or face the Elemental.

Nighttime travelers on the road below once again began seeing the lights in the towers, and even the crumbled tower became visible to them in it's ghostly outline. Something was amiss in the the castle, and the locals were none too pleased at all. They never should have let that researcher set up shop there. They knew it was only a matter of time... something must be done, and soon.

Meanwhile, pretty much oblivious to the events brewing around the Castle, Tort and Marie were enjoying a bit of a well earned vacation in around the surrounding countryside. Even though they could stay for free, they never did feel quite right about staying at the castle. The lodgings they found at the local bed and breakfast were quite cosey. Somehow, through an act purely subconcious, they made sure they found a B&B as far from the Castle as they could find.

[Ashbless]

Nigel and Eric sat in the bolthole. The sounds of battle raged faintly from outside the castle. Eric couldn't fight, he had a broken leg, and obviously somebody needed to keep him company. Besides it's not like they got danger pay. Nigel brought out the sandwiches he'd made on a quick trip to see what was happening.

"Eric, I've been thinking." said Nigel.
"Yeah love, what about?" said Eric.
"We've learned tremedous amounts about genetics and cloning tech. from the Boss, right?"
"Yess.."
"But we're not getting anything published are we? Publish or perish in science."
"So you're saying?"
"I'm saying we should try changing jobs."
"But Doc D'Bear..."
"I'm not saying we haven't had it okay, and I met you at this job." Nigel squeezes Eric's hand. "But I think it's time to go."
"You may just have it right." said Eric.
"Besides, the stress is getting to me."
"What?"
"I've been seeing things." Nigel said very quietly.
"What like spider-chimerae and talking cats?" joked Eric.
"No. Like ghosts and an elf."
"An elf?"
"Honest to God. Long blond hair, pointy ears, real Lord of the Rings. She had a little fairy friend with wings with her." he added sadly, knowing this didn't make it any less wierd sounding.
Eric looked at him steadily. "Okay, that tears it. We're gone."
"What?"
"D'Bear's f*cking with hallucinagenics, isn't he? And using us as unwitting test subjects. " Eric said, hostile now. "I saw this sheep thing with a human head, real horrific. Thought I was loosing it."
Nigel was relieved.
"Okay, when the battle's over we leg it. I've saved my pay and I know you've been socking yours away as well. We'll be fine cash wise. We'll get us a job without the freaky stuff."
"Done. What about Canada? They let gays marry there."
Eric and Nigel looked at each other.
"Just anywhere but here."

[arachnidoc17]

The battle raged on. Killing apparently wasn't as easy as it was in video games for Charlie. Vincent floated high in the air, almost like a spectator, watching intently, only helping out when help was needed.

What's this? Vincent directed his attention to the fields. Something was happening. Yes, they have come to right the wrongs, just as I had expected. AND, I had minimal interference! This one practically rights itself! Vincent waatched in anticipation for the faries. The Balance was going to be, once again, er... balanced.

[DaBear69]

"My King Oberon!" The court herald burst into the tiny antechamber, wings aflutter, "A membership of Sprites has just arrived, sire. King Gossamer is among them!"

"What!" King Oberon was used to the occassional visit from his Fey brothers, but they NEVER arrived unannounced. Especially not King Gossamer. He loved his prestige and the fairie parties his arrival would always herald. Incidentally, one of King Oberon's favorite peers.

"What happened? What's going on?" Oberon was quite bewildered, "Things must be dire, indeed for his majesty to travel without notice."

"Unknown, your majesty," sputtered his herald, "But they await you in the throne room. Their faces are grim, master."

Oh-oh. This was not good. Not good at all, thought King Oberon to himself.

Quickly dressing, he was in his throne chamber in mere minutes, and facing, as his herald had warned, a very grim Gossamer.

"To what do I owe this pleasure, King Gossamer?" King Oberon was very composed in his address, even though he could not quell the butterflies within.

"Am I to understand that there has been Fairie Magic let loose on the site of Leap Castle?" Gossamer's tone was accusing to say the very least.

"Well," sputtered Oberon, "Inadvertently, but I assure you my best agents are on the problem. And if all else fails, we are prepared to Flamestrike the--"

"NO!" King Gossamer had never, ever, as long as Oberon had known him as a youth, ever raised his voice in such a panicked way. He was, to say the least, exstatic, "You must not! Remember the tales your father told us? The ones he had our tutor specifically instruct us on? Especially the part about the elementals? What did he teach us?"

"Oh, come on," King Oberon was growing obstinant, "Those were just that; Tales. Tales to frighten us into behaving."

"Indeed," Gossamer scoffed, "Then perhaps you can explain the story this one related to us." Pointing back towards the door, there stood the ghost of a lady in red, a knife in one hand, and a lantern in the other.

King Oberon sat in shocked silence. It had been a very long time indeed that a ghost would have been admitted into any sealy court, much less his. He sat patiently, however, awaiting the tale of the ghost. He knew by asking of ghosts all around, that they retained memories of things long forgotten, even though they had a round-about way of telling what they knew. Oberon hoped he wouldn't have to sit through yet another enactment of the ghost's death before the point was made.

***Ooooberonnn, *** came the ghostly voice, as if talking from a great rift in time, and quite a shock that it would speak so directly indeed, ***Yyou must nnnot. I haaaave seeeen with my own eyes the destruction of the paaaast. I warn thoooose who approach tooooo close to the dark castle.. toooo warn them aaaaway. I was a victim of the laaaaast rising of the elementaaaaal. It has beeeeen as all elementaaaals have beeeeen. Since the daaaawn of the woooorld. Loooong before the Feeeeyyyyy. Feeeeyyy magic is whaaaat it feeeeds on most of aaaaall.***

"Awe crap..." shuddered King Oberon, such a direct warning from a spirit long passed, instead of their round about riddles meant they weren't fooling around, "I'll recall Twinx and Molly immediatey--"

"You cannot!" Interupted Gossamer, "Use of magic of that magnitude around Leap would not only alert that shadow as to our presence, but would send up warning bells to the humans all around. You may as well just advertize our continued exsistance to the world."

"Then what do you propose, Gossamer?" King Oberon was getting that old helpless feeling again.

"I propose we use something small to warn them. Perhaps a Wisp?" Gossamer cocked a bushy eyebrow meaningfully.

"Are you insane!" sputtered Oberon, "Those fey are the most unreliable, willfull miscreants ever to curse the sealy court. Tricking humans is a very dangerous game, and they are melevolent as hell, to boot. What makes you think that a Will-O-The-Wisp would help us?"

"For the chance to really tick off an Elemental, of course," replied Gossamer non-chalantly, "They get off on adrenaline rushes, remember. Elementals also find them a bit useless as servants, but they do enjoy feeding on their essences even more than fairies, and love just blasting them apart. Some claim that for such a primal foe it's a better high than fairie dust, but it does nothing to increase their power. Get it?"

"A Wisp in this case, would be more expendable," agreed Oberon, though he never thought he'd see the day they would prove to actually be of some use. And in this case, as a messenger and an addictive temptation to such an ancient enemy of all living things, "Ah, but the question becomes: Where the heck do we find one on such short--"

Gossamer was suddenly holding up a lantern, in which was a softly glowing ball of a wisp, gently tapping the glass like a fly caught on a window. Both Oberon and Gossamer were grinning from ear to ear.

--

Getting the Wisp to agree to the mission took much less than Oberon had expected. The little guy was brave as anything, or completely insane.

Speeding on it's way, the Wisp flew like it's bottom was alight, in search of Twinx and Molly, and one hell of a rush. If only it could find them before the Elemental found him.

Zooming through the long grass surrounding the castle the Wisp almost zipped right past the two fairies, who were hiding out in a hollow log to wait out the dawning day.

<~~~~~~~>, it called to the fairies in it's little light show, it's only form of communicating with others.

"What on Earth is that!" Molly pointed excitedly, "Is it the elemental? Has it found us?"

"No-no," Twinx replied, confused by the presence of a will-o-th-wisp in full daylight, not to mention anywhere near this particular castle, "It's a Wisp."

"A Wisp? What's it doing here?" asked Molly, enthralled with seeing her very first wisp.

"Looking for us, I'm afraid," replied Twinx, quite surprised at it's behaviour. Wisps were notoriously self serving, after all. What was it up to?

The Wisp drew close to Twinx and Molly, flashing it's message like a mad march hare, <~~~ ... ~~~. ~~ ~~~~~ ~~~ ... ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~...>

"Slow down!" Twinx's confusion giving way to complete surprise, "It's saying it has a message from King Oberon!" Twinx hastily translated the message for Molly, a sudden feeling of dread passing over them as the whole story became clear.

"So remove old magic, don't use any more, and stay the hell out of the line of fire of the Elemental. Let the Wisp handle it. Okay by me," replied Molly, thinking that going here to clean up loose fairie dust was still a very bad idea.

Inside the hollow log is where the Fairies and their new Wisp companion waited the setting of the sun, formulating their new plan of attack...

[Ashbless]

The battle raged for most of the afternoon. The cats fought every Tort moving with whatever came into their paws. Arachnodoc was a demon. His venom daggers and venom bite causing Tort's to go up in flames with every wound. Over the battle flashed the green entity looking very much like the aurora borealis somehow appearing in the daylight. The Tort's fought Arachnodoc and the cats but by far their prefered enemy was each other. An hour or so before sunset the last Tort clone fell. Arachnodoc and the cats moved among the fallen - lighting up the corpses. It wouldn't do to have an army of undead rise with the setting sun.

*Well* projected Arachnodoc with satisfaction. *That's me totally out of venom.*
Just then the sound of a motor roared from the castle and a jeep careened down the road. Nigel behind the wheel and Eric shotgun. The jeep smashed into the unfortunate Arachnodoc, mistaken as one more "hallucination" by Nigel. He'd left the chimera safely locked in D'Bear's lab and so assumed he was seeing things. The jeep roared off to the nearby town leaving Arachnodoc dying. The cats ran to their friend.
*I want a cookie* said Arachnodoc in a little thought voice and died.
The cats howled their grief and lit him as well.

Charlie spoke in cat to Bob Let's leave as well. I hate this place and the Thing in the castle. This is not a place for cats.
Bob glanced up to the looming castle where the Elemental waited. Agreed.
It spoke of a white witch. Maybe she can lay these ghosts inside to rest.
<My body. said Bob-inside-Charlie I'll get it back soon. Just you wait.>
The cats took the time to ensure the Tort clones had all been torched and then headed out towards the town as well.

[arachnidoc17]

The green flame died down to a match-sized light, and floated over silently to listen in on the faries' conversation.

[Ashbless]

Blackthorne cast the dust detection spell from well outside the range of the Leap castle spirit. He received 14 hits. Twelve were all from the same location, one that was moving. "Hmm, that's odd." The moving location stablized for a moment and Blackthorne tried a vision spell. A UPS shipping van showed in his vision. "Interesting."

He banished the vision and went into a local store. Wearing a glamour to disguise his magic features he buys a wool cap and sunglasses. He then goes quickly to Leap Castle - the destination the shipping van seems to be heading for. Carefully using no magic in the vicinity of the Castle's wakeful spirit he steps out to meet the van.
"Package?" he asks - wearing shades and cap to disguise elven features.
The UPS guy hands over the invoice to the "black guy" for a signature with a plastic pen.
Blackthorne glances at it and scribbles a name on the appropriate line.
"Thanks, here you are." UPS guy tips his hat and drops the crate at Blackthorne's feet.
"Thanks."
UPS guy drives back to town.

Blackthorne opens the crate and discovers 12 kittens. Picking up the box he walks back out of range the way he came. Once fairly far away he steps sideways into Underhill and leaves the kittens with his young niece. He then travels back to the outer limit of the Elemental's zone using magic and settles down to await developments with Twinx and Calamity Molly. It's now about half hour to sunset.

[DaBear69]

Returning to the scene of his ingenious crime, Blackthorn finds himself nearly under the wheels of a speeding black delivery truck, heading away from Leap Castle at near impossible speeds. He has time enough to glimps only part of the logo on the side of the van: I.L.L. Deliveries. Blackthorn had that sudden sinking feeling again.

--

"Nigel? Eric? Now where have they gotten to?" wondered Dr. D'Bear as he wheeled the sealed animal transport container, and self-contained computer unit off the docks, into the hidden freight elevator, and down, deep into his secure lab 200 feet below the Castle proper.

"Ah, well," shrugged the portly researcher, "It's probably best they don't know about this lab." The wheeled trolly squeaked slowly along the long hallway to the lab, this research facility actually lying some distance out of the boundaries of Leap Castle's grounds.

Passing through the security sealed double doors, pausing only momentarily at the card reader and retina scanner, Steve wheeled the trolley into a vast underground cavern, hewn secretly over the years by the good doctor, himself, with the help of a few bits and bobs of Illuminati machinery.

Along the left wall rested an entire bank of computers, mainframes standing silently, inactive for a dog's age. The plastic dust covers did their jobs well, as they were now coated in a thick layer of grit, and dust-bunnies. The back wall was dominated by an odd looking circular hatchway some ten feet in diameter, and sealed airtight, the blinking panel to the left of that still active... yet another optical reader device.

Looking to the right, Dr. D'Bear spied what he had come here to use, hidden away for emergencies; row upon row of gleaming transparent and chrome clone maturation tubes, also covered in plastic dust covers to protect them from years of lack of use. Not even the Illuminati knew of this facility.

"Well, my little feline friend," commented Dr. D'Bear nonchalantly, "It would seem that someone intercepted your decoy bretheren. UPS never arrived, or, at least, never rang the bell. Ah, well. No big loss. At least the Illuminati paranoia has managed to save you from the clutches of nasty people, eh?" Reaching in, Steve pulled out his ultimate achievement, and, incidentally, his favorite pet.

Bob awakened from his nap, kind of irked at being pulled out of his nice cozy warm house, *Wha-? Awe, man! I was having da most awesome dream, ya freak! How come you hadda wake me up, dude?*

"Now, now, old friend," replied the chubby bearded little man that held Bob, "I just need a little something from your fur, and then you can nap all you like. It won't take long."

*Steve? Is dat you, dude?* asked the big yellow tabby, his big blue eyes still a little fuzzy from sleep. Making the effort, Bob the Yellow cracked his eyes open wide, taking in the sight of his best friend, *Hey Doc! Dude! It is you, man! About damned time you sprung me from dat hell hole. Do you have any idea what dey did ta me? Dey only woke me up to poke me here, prod me dere... hey, do you knowdey even stuck a huge tube right up my--*

"Yes, I know, and I do apologize," Steve D'Bear cut the cat off abruptly, "but I assure you it was necessary to hide you in plain sight for a while. Remember how I told you that I would take you with me when I finally decided to blow this popstand and retire far away from the prying eyes of the Illuminati?"

*Yeah, yeah, I remember,* Bob replied impatiently, *So ya finally gettin' outta da rat race? No pun intended, doctor dude.*

"Yes I am," Steve D'Bear was positively excited, bouncing on his heels.

*Correct me if I'm wrong, Doc,* Bob was skeptical, *But, um... retirement from da Illuminati... well, doesn't dat involve your brain in a jar powering d'eir livin' computer?*

"Read my mind, old friend." The doctor was genuine in his invitation, so read his mind Bob did.

*HA! Cute. But will it work?* If cats could grin, you would have seen one on Bob at that moment that would have given a mouse the willies.

"Absolutely!"

*And dat's where I come in...*

"Exactly."

*Alright, alright. I'll fire up da power grid, an' you fire up dat portable job, an' le's git started, den.* Springing out of Dr.D'Bear's hands, Bob sprinted off to hit the big green button on the power box.

Dr. D'Bear and Bob worked feverishly for several hours, extracting the information they needed to make Steve D'Bear's new stable clone replacement. It was midnight when they finally put the first sample into the primary maturation chamber and started the process.

The instabilities of mental homocidal psychosis against himself or clones of himself, and the clones' flamable nature, would be a thing of the past, not to mention that whole walking dead thing. No one would be able to tell the difference between D'Bear and his clone self. Right down to the base pair sequences. Only the mind would be a blank slate, aside from personality. It would be a week before the D'Bear clone would emerge completed and pre-educated with only the things the Original Doctor wanted the Illuminati to know, and no more. Steve D'Bear's plan was brilliant. The only method of detection for this type of clone was decades down the road, and his clone will have died of natural causes after a nice long life by then.

On and on Bob the Yellow, and Steve D'Bear worked into the wee hours of the morning, completely oblivious to the goings on outside the castle.

[DaBear69]

"...And that's the plan," replied Twinx to Molly.

"Yeah, ok," replied the fairie apprentice, "but wouldn't it be easier if we included Blinky's friend?"

"Blinky?' Twinx asked a little confused.

"Well, I don't know what else to call the Wisp, and he does blink a lot," Molly responded as logically as she could, "'Blinky' just seems to fit."

"Ah, I see," replied Twinx wryly, "Um, his friend?"

"Yeah, that little green one that has been hovering around," Molly pointed to the little green flame.

<~~~...~~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~... ~~~> The little Wisp was blinking softly as it approached the interloper.

"That's obvious!" Twinx was now very concerned. Was this the Elemental come to find them before their mission had begun? If it was, it didn't look nearly as impressive as it sounded. But looks could be deceiving, "Oh. It's not the elemental? Then what is it?"

<~ ~~~~~> replied the little Wisp in it's blinking language.

"A ghost? Of whom, I wonder?" puzzled Twinx, but only for a moment, "You know, he might come in handy. I say, little geen ghost... would you be interested in helping our wisp friend, Blinky, distract the Elemental for a short while?"

[Quoth(The Raven)]

Blackthorne pondered the latest events.

The good news was that there was no more Fairy magic in the castle. The bad news was that there was still a single particle of Fairy dust on the premises, which could, under the right conditions, be reactivated... That was what Twinx and Molly were after, after all. If the Elemental found and got hold of that particle, It could use that bit of fairy dust to create a source of magic great enough to free it, and set it on a rampage.

Currently, the Elemental was stronger than it had been for many ages, gorged as it was on the essences of 298 cloned, mutant, cats, but it was still bound to the castle environs. Even if Twinx and Molly succeeded in collecting the fairy dust particle before it could be re-energised, there was still a raging elemental spirit to contend with. It needed to be stripped of it's captive spirits, and rebound in the castle's depths.

But, how to do that, when the elemental would look on him, Molly and Twinx as a midnight snack?

The white witch... The one who bound the Elemental in the first place. If he could locate her shade, assuming it was still on this plane, at all, It could advise him. Better yet, if he could find a willing host, maybe she could do it, herself...

He was torn. This was important. But he'd promised King Oberon to watch over Molly and Twinx... And, Blackthorne owed the king so much...

It was Oberon who'd accepted Blackthorn and his niece, when a revolution in the land of the Drow had made things there difficult for those loyal to the rightful king... Oberon who'd found uses for Blackthorn's unique abilities.

Blackthorn pondered the question awhile. In the end, however, he decided to go get the witch. But first, he had to convince the two airheads that were his charges to wait... even if it meant violating one of Oberon's orders. It would be better to let them know of his presense, if it would convince them not to commit suicide before he returned...

The things I do for my King, he thought, as he moved out...