Would Like To Know What A Girl Likes To See In A.., Would like to know what a girl likes to Options

[slashdot]

Allright, hello everyone first time here, I am asking this question for its a mature forum from what I have seen, and so far I am impressed. Anyways my question is to woman/girls (whatever sounds more mature I guess) here, what does she like to see in a guy. Heres a little about myself... my name for now I would like to keep underwraps, (For I don't want to gamble with someone from my school or wherever knowing that I am trying to get information on impressing a girl, my reputation is pretty bad, but I think its dissipated over the last couple years) but I am 15, from SoCal, I love to do many activities in my daily life as I can... such as Rock Climbing, Programming (Like developing games, but not good just yet), Warhammer 40k, learning up on History, Paintballing, technology in general, working out, kickboxing, and etc. I think allot, so much so that I got depressed for a variety of reasons, one having to do with my social life, but I won't get into that, so I am seeing a therapist. Theres a load more about me, but I want to keep the post short.
Anyways the reason I am asking this is because I feel as though I should get a girlfriend. I never really had one except in 6th grade, but it lasted for a short, short period of time, and I never got to know the person I went out with. (a random pick out of the barrel) So I have been debating over with myself about talking to this girl that sits a few seats away from me in a class that I have.. she is been playing games with me(?), example, I asked a guy for a hershy kiss he had a bag off, she gave me one of hers and walked away. We locked eyes once or twice, but (don't laugh) I am afraid of looking at her since, which I never had felt that way before. Theres more, but whatever. I believe she's a popular girl I don't know, I am not social, which a couple of my friends say its a bad thing. Apparently people think I am the guy who is going to go Columbine at my school, which I am not, and I believe is absurd and funny, but I should change that. Anyways, she does talk in class alot, shes realy cute, but looks aren't everything, thats why I would like to get the nuts to talk to here for a few minutes to get to know the person. So I would like to know what some girl would look for in a guy. I don't know if I am funny or cute or whatever, I'm not my own critique. Any suggestions/hints/pointers or whatever would be great. So thanks in advance. If need be, feel free to ask me a question, and I will answer them depending on the question.

PS: If my question was vague or whatever tell me and I'll make it more understandable.
PSS: Was this the right forum to post this question in?

[trunks_girl26]

Well, you seem like a very nice person, slashdot, but if I may, some advice?

As cliche'd as it is, if you go looking specificly for a girlfriend, the chances are better that you won't find one. (Exceptions being things like dating services). But, if you get to know this girl you like as a person and a friend, and not just zoom in on her becoming a girlfriend, it might be easier for both of you to see if it's possible (hope that made sense, as I've not gotten much sleep lately).

Nice guys are definately worth it in my book. Honesty's a big one too, along with kindness. It's also good to have a variety of intrests, if only so that conversation doesn't have to float the same way every time. (I've experienced this before, and sometimes there's only so much you can say about something at any given time )

But, all in all, good luck!

Hmmm.....either this one or daily life, depending on how you look at it. It should be alright.

[slashdot]

Well, you seem like a very nice person, slashdot, but if I may, some advice?

As cliche'd as it is, if you go looking specificly for a girlfriend, the chances are better that you won't find one. (Exceptions being things like dating services). But, if you get to know this girl you like as a person and a friend, and not just zoom in on her becoming a girlfriend, it might be easier for both of you to see if it's possible (hope that made sense, as I've not gotten much sleep lately).

Nice guys are definately worth it in my book. Honesty's a big one too, along with kindness. It's also good to have a variety of intrests, if only so that conversation doesn't have to float the same way every time. (I've experienced this before, and sometimes there's only so much you can say about something at any given time )

But, all in all, good luck!

Ok, I'm learning. So don't go looking to become a boyfriend with this person, but let her come to me.(?) Sry if I didn't understand what you said, but as I too am very tired... was doing several things today. And looking at a monitor for the past several hours isn't helping me much to stay away.. if at all. Thanks though.

[I_am_the_best]

I think that what she meant was try and get to know her as a friend first.

I personally like guys who are really understanding. So once you get to know her, just always be looking out for her and be there for her when she needs a hug. (Hugs are always good I think...)

Well, good luck!!

[Jonman]

'ello slashdot.

Always nice to see new faces who aren't plonkers. Welcome to the forums - hope you enjoy your stay here.

First thing I'd like to ask you (with respect to your post above) is why you feel you 'ought' to have a girlfriend? What's driving that? Peer pressure? Becuase if it is, it's a fairly crappy reason to get involved with someone. Horny-ness? Then go for it, but for pete's sake, use a condom.

Secondly, there is no magic formula for 'what girls want'. Every girl is different. There's some common things like a 'good sense of humour', but it doesn't work in all cases. If you attracted to this girl, you need to get to know her. That in itself will give you (and her for that matter) more of an idea whether the two of you are compatible.

Honesty and kindness (as mentioned by trunks_girl) is often cited, but the fact that wifebeating, alcoholic musclebound idiots still get girls suggests that not even girls know what they want sometimes, let alone us fellas having a chance of figuring it out.

The moral of the story is this: don't be an idiot and be yourself (unless you're an idiot normally, of course). If it doesn't work out when you're being yourself, then you have to accept that a relationship with that particular girl just isn't meant to be. It's a lot better than pretending to be someone you're not just to make someone else like you. That's a sure-fire way to head towards messy breakups.

Good luck!


P.P.S. Exactly the right forum to post this in. 10 out of 10.

[PsychWardMike]

I'm with Jonman. Don't be a twat and you'll wind up happy eventually. However I've two words of advice: don't define yourself by being in a relationship. That's obnoxious, unfair, and unhealthy - know yourself before you try to know another. Secondly: don't become a stalker; no one wants to deal with a stalker.

Otherwise, best of luck.

[Mata]

There's no hurry on the girlfriend thing. I didn't get into a relationship like that until I was nineteen.

Welcome to my forums

[slashdot]

Hey thanx for the replys everyone. Anyways, no I am not a stalker as PhsycWardMike said, I am actualy afraid to be around her, for fear that I might fug up. I need to chill out. I'm not horney, I haven't realy been that way for a while.. several months actualy. I'm not trying to get a girlfriend out of peer-pressure, nor do I just want to get a girlfriend for the hell of it. I just want to get into a "romantic" relationship, for a variety. Anyways, I will not mold myself into someone else like I have done before to please another person, thanx Jonman for that piece of advice, that makes me feel a little better. I'm not sure how I am going to talk to this person, but hopefully I do it eventualy and not never. Thanx again.

[froggle-rock]

Ask her for the time? - Just to get the ball rolling. It helps if you arn't blatantly wearing your watch though

[Aria]

Well, you're in a few of the same classes right? Talking about the class/homework beats not talking, and you never know... might start a friendship up with that.

[EvilSpork]

Do what I do (Actually don't, I can't say I'm good at even making friends) and just randomly talk to the person, make conversation about whatever the hell.

[PsychWardMike]

A'ight - as I was in French class (mind. numbing!) while I wrote my first response, I forgot to tell you the pattented PsychWardMike method of nabbing girls. Confidence. Spew all the clever retorts, be the nicest guy ever, and all that jazz - yeah, it's great and you'll eventually get someone. However, if you are truly confidant (or at least put on a believable front!) girls (and guys, hopefully, if you swing both ways) will be beating (tee hee!) down your door.

[Silver Star Ange...]

I think you should start some small talk with her...a comment about a teacher or something. And I think that if you just talk to her, she'll warm up to you. Just a bit of advice: don't rush it.

Hope I helped!

[slashdot]

You did help, I'm just wating for the right moment. Thanx everyone.

[Usurper MrTeapot]

Introduce her to Matazone. Chicks love the Mata.

[Jonman]

Introduce her to Matazone. Chicks love the Mata.

fo' shizzle.

[Righteous]

I can't say much that hasn't been said, but eye contact is great (one good idea is to lock on for five seconds straight). It shows that you aren't intimidated by her. Also, when you talk to her (while sitting down) lean foreward as she talks. It shows that you're interested (and hopefully you will be).

Please bear in mind that I really don't know thing one about chicks. Most of my relationships have just "happened" in some form or another. Hopefully something will "happen" with you ahd this chick.

[Mata]

Eye contact but don't stare.

Stand up straight but don't look rigid.

Look good, but not like you've made too much effort.

Be confident, but not overbearing.

...

Be yourself, and I'm sure it'll work out. If you get into real difficulties then try showing the person this thread. They'll probably find it massively endearing that you've been so worried about talking to them!

[Righteous]

Either that or she'll think he's creepy or never talk to him again.

[Don'tMakeMeB...]

When you make eye contact, maybe give her a little smile. Nobody likes to be glared at... Just smile if you pass in the hallway or something. And every so often you can ask her about homework assignments.

[spiffilicious05]

I don't really think that we can answer this question for you. We might be able to give you a few guide lines but what everyone looks for in a person is different. So you can't just generalize girls into one category.

I'd have to agree that it'd be a smart idea to get to know her first. Just start out by saying hi -- or asking her if she understands the notes you're taking. Something simple, just don't get too pushy.

welcome to the forums and good luck

[Erin]

okay..first..eye contact is good..but don't like STARE at her for a million hours. i hate it when guys do that...rrrrr..you don't want her to feel self concious no matter how pretty she is.

girls like attention..so pay lots of attention to her. if she says somthing to you dont ignore her. girls love attention..makes them feel special (i know this cuz i am a girl..).

Don't freek her out with creepyness. it bothers most girls when some creepy guy just goes up to them and starts coming on to them.

Gain trust and friendship first...a relationship is nothing without those. Getting friends is easy, start by talking to her. Talk about things like favorite color, animals, siblings if any, things that interest you..cuz they may also interest her. If she looks bored then end the conversation and go back later. and don't be loud and obnoxious, but don't be negative either.

Be Courteous to her, if you go to school with her and are in her class open the door for her, if your walking through the hall and its crowded let her infront of you so she can get by first, comment her on how she looks tell her things like she looks nice, that you like a peice of her clothing, or somthing like that. Also, don't talk about a peice of clothing if she has been made fun of for it. And don't tell her she looks cute (not a very flattering word..more like fabulous, lovely, beautiful, etc.) Don't pick on her or crack jokes if you still barely know her. and be cool, don't act nervous.

[Snugglebum the D...]

I have to do it. Every time I see the words: What a Girl Likes to See in a Guy... I want to answer: A great big [*loud coughing from Mata*]

What?

Now it's out of my system. *ahem*

Respect is always good. Also an interest in her as a person. To be quite honest, you can't make yourself what she wants. Either she's interested or not. You have to be what you are all the time.

[Perhaps a bit too graphic there, I think. You never know the age of people reading. - Mata]

[Jaq]

I have to do it.  Every time I see the words: What a Girl Likes to See in a Guy... I want to answer: A great big [*loud coughing from Mata*]

Well, yes, a healthy agricultural base to provide a steady income is always appreciated, but don't you think 15 is a bit too young to be thinking of supporting a family? Besides, he might want to be a marine biologist or a tax attorney.




Show interest in her, make her laugh and make her feel like what she says and does is interesting and important. You know, stroke the ego.

[slashdot]

Be Courteous to her, if you go to school with her and are in her class open the door for her, if your walking through the hall and its crowded let her infront of you so she can get by first, comment her on how she looks tell her things like she looks nice, that you like a peice of her clothing, or somthing like that. Also, don't talk about a peice of clothing if she has been made fun of for it. And don't tell her she looks cute (not a very flattering word..more like fabulous, lovely, beautiful, etc.) Don't pick on her or crack jokes if you still barely know her. and be cool, don't act nervous.

gah.. alright here it is, I was walking from 6th period (second class I noticed I had her in) and when I was opening the door, she was right behind me, but I didn't notice it and I kept walking... didn't hold the door open, I noticed her at the corner of my eye afterwards. Talking at the moment seems out of the question for a couple things.. well she corrected me on something that I said to my English teacher about the Holocaust, but then everyone was focused on me, so I couldn't debate(?) about it with her. And when its out of class, shes usualy with her friends, and a couple guys which we DON'T get along.. I'm going with the proverb "good things come to those who wait", so ya.