Embarrassing Slip-ups, AKA: How to look like a retard Options

[Forever Unknown]

It's not just me who's notoriously stupid, is it? (No sniggering in the back, please)

Anyhoo!

This thread has probably been made a thousand times, but it's always fun to laugh at other people's misfortune. And it makes me feel better about myself, and that's a bit fabulous.

So. The stupid things that just pop out of your mouth and leave you thinking "where in arse did that come from?". Such as the inappropriate "you too":
Waiter: "Enjoy your meal."
You: "Yeah. You too."

I habitually say goodbye before putting someone on hold.

I've managed to add an extra seven (count them! Seven! I know you won't!) syllables into 'University'. "Uni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-versity.". The person on the other end of the line must've thought I'd suddenly been brutally attacked with a drill.

"Hello. It's X calling for Y"
"Can I ask who's calling, please?"

There's also the wonderful mixing of sentences - like a spoonerism with words."Back she'll be on Wednesday". Like Yoda without the Jedi mind trick that makes it acceptable.

There's probably a kazillion others that I just can't think of. But is it just me that does this? Enlighten me (read: "make me feel less abnormal") with your stories (read: "by taking the p*ss") of being equally as incoherent (read: "and pretending you're also a spastic").

This has been a public service announcement. Without the service. Or the announcement, really.

[dancing hamster ...]

Yeah I was at a college interview - I was really nervous. It was nearly the end and it had gone really smoothly. I was about to leave when he said "good look in your exams" and I replied "you too"! He looked at me weirdly as I walked out! I left feeling very embarressed and wanting to punch myself!

[Twitching]

Friend Mike (yes, the infamous friend Mike who Medae and I spoke of in D'oh) can't say aluminium. He adds extra syllables too. He does it to other things, but I can't think of them at the moment. (Meg, think of some of the others for me?)

I can't be bothered to add more at the moment because I've got to run off and get ready for school.

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

Hands up how many people have called a teacher mum or dad by accident...in front of the whole class?

*raises hand* >_<

[Greeneyes]

Hands up how many people have called a teacher mum or dad by accident...in front of the whole class?

*raises hand* >_<

Hands up who have gotten away with no one noticing.

*waves*

[Snugglebum the D...]

Hands up how many people have called a teacher mum or dad by accident...in front of the whole class?

*raises hand*

I did it to my boss once too...

[Misty Rain]

I was standing on a beach in Cyprus talking to this guy.
A child, about 8, was standing next to us and I looked down at the top of the familiar blond head and said "WILL YOU STOP PICKING YOUR NOSE!!"
When he looked up it was his kid not mine.

Misty Rain

[Ashbless]

Another embarassing incident in front of the boss. One summer I had three different part-time jobs to save money for college. I was at work at my main job of clerking in a store when the phone rang. I picked it up answered as though I was at the convenience store , corrected myself with the second wrong store , and finally with the correct store . My boss had also picked up the extension line at the same time, listened to me nattering on, and simply said "Hang up the phone".
He emerged from his office and told me to go have my lunch break.

[Medae]

LOL. Yes, Friend Mike seems to have a slight speech impediment. He can't say cinnamon (the last syllable goes on forever), nor can he say anything with a profuse amount of S's (?). Such as Jesus's Cup. Impossible.

Yea, I've done the whole teacher mum thing. And I used to habitualy raise my hand at the dinner table when I wanted to speek. My boyfriend used to work at a Pizza Hut, which is where I kept running into him before I knew his name. There were two incidents outside of the Hut where I couldn't for the life of me remeber his name, so I slipped up and called him the Pizza Hut Guy. Tactless Moment #46.

[Moosh]

Hands up how many people have called a teacher mum or dad by accident...in front of the whole class?

*raises hand* >_<

I haven't called my teacher mum but I did call my Mum at work and one of her collegues picked up the phone, it took several minutes for her to work out who I was and to pass me on

[TehRoxxorCOD]

When I speak too quickly I tend to fuddle up my words... otherwise I'm quite articulate. Or so I like to think.

[voices_in_my_hea...]

one time, for some reason, I was searchng franticly for my mom. the house we lived in at the time had a den, and above the den was a sort of balconey-thing leading to the living room. well, I had looked everywhere for my mom except for that den, so while I was standing on the balconey, looking into the den, directly at my mom, I asked "momma(yes, that's what I call her) where's momma?"
she just looked at me with this huge smile

[Quoth(The Raven)]

Way, way back (In the dawn of time) In elementary school, we had to put our hands over our hearts and recite the pledge of allegience... Being the genius I was, I couldn't figure out where to put my hand on my chest, and piped up that I couldn't find my heart. That was a proud day, let me tell you...

[Artemisia]

In history class in high school a friend of mine, who's a guy, loudly asked me to help him study the "Pubic War." Of course it was a slip (a Freudian slip?) and he meant the Punic Wars (Rome vs. Carthage). And then of course you all know where the classmates took it from there, speculating just what we would do while studying that...

[Usurper MrTeapot]

In a sample art history lesson I read out the date a sketch was drawn, was something like this.

"This was drawn sometime between the year 1334 and Leet." It took me a while to work out that I should have said 1337 instead.

[/sadgeek]

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

worst.typo.ever.

In the sentence "I need a cold shower" I slipped up and put another letter instead of the c >_<


*hides under a duvet*

[Phyllis]

I once made a pretty bad typo myself. We were talking about gum, and I MEANT to say that I was addicted to gum. Instead, I put a C somewhere in there....I'll leave it to you to guess where, but suffice it to say that it was met with all the guys in the chat room saying my bf at the time was a lucky bastard.

[The Lorax]

I'm extremely dyslexic. (I mix up words and such things) And one day in class (English) we were being loud, and there was a discussion on potatoes. I was going to scream "I AM A POTATO!" instead it came out as "I AM A PENIS!" And everyone looked at me and laughed--my English teacher ended up laughing so hard she cried off all her makeup....

[arachnidoc17]

Once, during a play waaaaay back in grade school, fifth grade i think, I was Scrooge in A Christmas Carol, and I forgot one of my lines.

[Jaq]

Answering the phone:

me: hello?
Korean person: yoboseyo?
Me: Hello?
Korean person: yoboseyo?
Me: Hello?!
Korean person: Yoboseyo?!
me: agh! *click*


>_<

[Quoth(The Raven)]

My sister: "Let's do this alphabetically... Who's the oldest?"

[depressed lonely...]

i as in a play in year 8 so i was 13 at the time,i was supossed to wear these really ickyilly high heels and the first time i put them on i tripped fell backand landed on a guy i had a crush on,
i allmost ebowed him in the face, avioded that by accidently putting my hand in his lap and then proceded to try and get up with out damaging anything vital and ended up falling on him agian this time practically smothering him with my boobs and when i finally got up i tried to run and hide and fell down the stairs on the side of the stage.
and when i came backnobody said a thing about it

[exceptional1709]

Answering the phone:

me: hello?
Korean person: yoboseyo?
Me: Hello?
Korean person: yoboseyo?
Me: Hello?!
Korean person: Yoboseyo?!
me: agh! *click*

I've done that once or twice, and the person has always turned out to be some really important person calling my dad about his work from Japan or somewhere.

A girl in my history class was once asked by the teacher, "what religion was Elizabeth I?" Without hestitation she replied "Prostitute." (She meant Protestant.)

When I started at my youth orchestra, the girl sitting next to me asked me "what's your name?" She spoke really quietly and I couldn't hear her, so I asked her what she had said. When she said it again I still couldn't hear her, so I asked her again. I still couldn't hear her, and, not wanting to ask a third time, I opted for the safe option and said "I don't know." Subsequently I found out what she had been saying and felt silly.

I have also done the "calling a teacher Mum or Dad" thing many times.

[Misty Rain]

[School

Dreaming on a hot afternoon

Teacher shouts in my ear, (they always pick on the one who has gone away in the head) "You! what do we get from The Spice Islands?"

Me' quick as a flash, "Slaves?"


Misty Rain

[Black-Wings]

I just have to ask, how can you confuse a teahcer with your mum or dad? I mean, so different!... one is Satan on a pogo stick and the other is your mother!