The Ongoing Story, ever play theatre sports? Options

[Ashbless]

Tort3 heads down the hall to the hotel room. Odd, the other doors have key locks and his is a key card. He opens the door to find a rather nice room. It has a good view of the heather and a king sized bed. Bob wanders to the window and demands OUT. Tort3 opens the window and Bob goes exploring. Exploring some more himself he finds a nice bathroom with a ceramic tiled shower with sliding door. Tort grabs a piece of fruit from the complimentary fruit basket and munches it down. Heads for the shower.
At the front desk the perky scottish lass checks the scanning device hiden in his room. Yup, a clone. She picks up the phone and dials a long distance number. "Sir, this is Angel 5, we have a clone. Repeat a clone sited. Will dispatch. Belongings crated and sent as usual." It was really a shame, she sighed, they were all so good looking.
Bob wandered over the heather. His fur rippled slightly. He began a nervous purr. There was something supernatural nearby. Curiosity being a prime cat trait he continued his wandering. Just around the bend from the hotel he spots a woman and a basket near a stream. A pet fishing! thinks Bob. He continues his purr but on a happier note. He purrs of sunlight on water, fish, and new met friends. He has a fine purr - his mom told him so as a kit. Getting closer the woman isn't fishing but washing blood stains from what looks like Tort's jacket and she's crying. The woman and clothes have a faded look. Bob continues purring but thinks quickly. His mother told him about the supernatural as a kitten. He changes his purr again to sunlight, love and wonders in the fields beyond this life. An old song first sung to him when he was little. There was familiar stock in his family and some magic had been kept. The omen ghost glances up and smiles. "You're a fine wee cat. I'm sorry for your friend. Go back and get into the crate. Here's something for the song." She scoops into the river and pulls out a small fish with a claw like hand. She smiles and winks and fades saying. "I'm getting so tired of washing those clothes."
Tort3 gets into the shower and slides the door shut. Perky assistant hits a button at the desk. The shower door locks and a hissing noise is heard. The gas is ignited with a spark and Tort3 dies in a roar of flame. The flame is nicely contained in the ceramic shower.
Perky scottish lass appears at the door with a crate and packs up his luggage into it. Her pager goes off and she leaves the crate open to return to the front desk. Bob returns in through the window after finishing his fish and lept into crate. The lass returns, closes it and hauls it out for the courier to take it to D'Bear in Ireland.

[The Tortured Sou...]

(wow nice twist there i'm a little tired so not a big 1 from me now sorry)

Dr. D'Bear returns to the room with Tort and maria and says "that phonecall was from Ryo, the head of the angels, there a little agency that didn't really like me cloneing, but are now working with me now that we both want to get rid of the clones, also they seemed to know you are with me, so they are sending all of you belongings that the clone has to me to give to you"
"well thats nice of them, tell me more of these angels"
"now now, you don't need to know about them, i don't know much about them, they are very secretive, don't worry when they are around they will help you, without letting you know it."

(oh by the way, Tort is actually based on me, so he looks like me, wanna know what Tort looks like check my page on the family album)

[arachnidoc17]

"Of course, if I told you any more, I'd have to kill you," said Dr. D'bear with a grin on his face, as though he had told a joke. Something told Maria he was quite serious.

Not if I kill you first!

"Tort? Was that you?" asked Maria, spooked, "Quit joking!"

"I didn't hear anything," said Dr. D'Bear, the sly grin on his face gone.

"Come ON, I'm serious!"

A maniacal laugh rang in her ears.

"That's not funny!"

"Nice try, no-one and no clones are out to get us. Nothing close, anyways."

They can't hear me. I don't need them. I need only you. I need only you to hear me. Maybe you're going insane? All you need to remember is: I'm out to get you, and there's no way to stop me.


Out of the corner of her eye, Maria thought she saw a familiar face, masked by darkness.

Oh, don't worry, I'm not there. But give me enough time to find you, or make the mistake of stepping out oin the open, and I'll be there.

[Ashbless]

(Looks like someone else looked up the ghost of Leap castle. )

[DaBear69]

Edited out...

[DaBear69]

Dr, D'Bear, taking note of the direction that Marie was looking, and puzzled by her expression of complete surprise, glances over to the dark corner.

To his surprise, he sees his own little face, and grins, watching his only able-bodied assistant sneak up on whatever it is in the corner.

Ah! You've seen me, my dear Doctor! Shall I come out and introduce myself to your friends?

Out of the darkness creeps the largest spider... thing, for lack of a better description, that Marie has ever seen. The "thing" looked exactly like Dr. D'Bear, but only from the head down to the torso. From there it formed the body of a huge hairy tarantula, sort of a spidery centauroid creature.

Marie let out a horrible shreak as the lab assistant clapped a large clear serving tray cover over the little creature (hey, I said it was the largest "Spider" she's ever seen... I never said how big it was... heeheehee).

Curses! Curses! I should have sprung on you and sunk my fangs into your back when I had the chance! Shrieked the Arachnoid in their minds.

"Now now, Arachnodoc. Be nice. You are, after all, my protege and one of my favorite clones," chided the portly professor.

"What the heck is that?" Marie exclaimed.

Tort just looked on, shocked, and not quite believing what he was seeing.

"This is my little 'Arachnodoc'," explained the good doctor, "I was messing around with my own DNA to try and make myself a clone so I could literally be in two places at once. Then I got to thinking...'What would happen if I gave him multiple limbs?' I mean, haven't you ever wondered what it would be like to have an extra hand around when you needed it?

"Then, one night, I got a little liquored up, and...um... wondered if I could make my clone into one of my favorite childhood comic book heroes," Doctor D'Bear looked don at his feet, feeling most embarrassed, " I mean, it was so tempting not to, seeing as I could manipulate genes and splice new ones in and all. Well, I tried, and this is what I came up with. Personally, I think ihe turned out better than I originally intended."

Doctor D'Bear was obviously quite proud of his little arachnoid clone, as evil as the little guy seemed to be. Still Marie and Tort couldn't help but think of him like the evil baby from one of their favorite tv shows, little Stewy.

The image wasn't helped any by Bob the cat sneaking over to the arachnoid, planning on pouncing on it. realizing that the wee beasty was under glass, however (Bob's not your average dumb cat, after all) he gently batted at the glass-covered spider-man, instead.

* Just you wait little crawly thing * projected Bob, * I'm sure you'll be quite tasty-crunchy, and good with "Cat"-sup. Heeheehee... *

Get that nasty furball away from me! Exclaimed the very unnerved Arachnoid It's trying to eat me!

"Now, now, the two of you," chided D'Bear, "Take it easy. He only means to protect me, Arachnodoc. Nothing more. He doesn't realize that the poisons you have will not harm a human."

* Nope, * explained Bob to the Arachnoid, * I just want to see if you are as crunchy as the other crawly food things. MMmmm... fuzzy-crawlly under glass. *

AAAHHH!

"Nigel, take Arachnodoc back to the lab, will you?" said Dr. D'Bear to his only able-bodied lab assistant, "Make him as comfortable as possible--"

Curse you all! You retched fiends! I'll get my revenge on you all! chided the arachnoid on the serving tray, then quite nastily to the assistantI want soda, and cookies with those tasty raisins on them! Move you inept fool!

"Um, those aren't currants, mate," respoded Nigel, "And you don't really want to know what they are do you?" He offered as he trundled off to the lab with Arachnodoc on the serving tray.

"Sorry about that," explained the professor, "He just gets out of hand every so often, and manages to escape his habitat. He is quite friendly otherwise."

"Um, Doc," Tort was still a little shocked by the sight of the little arachnoid clone of the good doctor, "Do you thik it entirely wise to be making lones like that?"

Doctor D'Bear pondered that for a moment, as he followed his assistant into the lab, Tort and Marie in tow...

[DaBear69]

(Oops, double posted when I tried to edit the original... sorry. The second one is the corrected one)

[arachnidoc17]

Okay, just a side note, the name Arachnidoc was actually from a video game, Dr. Muto. The Doctor could use his "splizz" gun to splice himself with animals, all with cheesy names he had given them. "Arachnidoc" was his spider form (Like PteraDoctyl, a flying squirrel). It crapped explosive eggs. Just a lighter note on such a dismal post I had made. I did NOT mean for this to, in any way, shape, or form, change the story. REMEMBER. DO NOT FRIGGIN FORGET.

[Quoth(The Raven)]

Twinx the fairy was disgusted. A years worth of fairy dust, wasted on a cat! And then the cat had grown to giant size and terrorized a city! OOOgh! the paperwork she'd have to file! Then there were the inevitable inquiries. The fairie council didn't like the humans having proof of the supernatural. She'd be lucky if she wasn't busted down to pixie, for this.
Oh, well. Nothing for it but to track down what was left of the magic powder, lodged in the cat's fur.
Casting a locator spell, she looked for the magic that had gone astray. Much to her surprise, she found not one, but three hundred Hits, on her magical 'RADAR'. Somehow, the cat she'd infected with magic was linked to 299 others! And now, each had a share of the magic!
Groaning, she conjured up a huge aspirin, and swallowed it.
Now, she thought, the thing to do was merge all those blips into one pussycat, locate it, and divest it of it's magic. And she had to hope that the powder would remain dorment. Something as simple as a static electrical discharge could activate the dust again, and she shuddered to think what would happen then, with 300 Cats channeling it's power...
Twinx rolled up her sleeves, and proceeded to work...

[DaBear69]

Is Dr. D'Bear really Dr. Muto escaped from the Cyber-world of a forgotten video game to wreak havoc on the material plane of exsistance with all these clones? Or is the name of the Arachn-O-doc clone merely a really, really, really cheesy coincidence?

Will Twinx the Disgusted Fairy ever manage to reform all the Bob clones into one cat? How big will that cat ultimately be? Will she succum to the mighty hunter, Bob Da Cat, who likes to chase flutter-by things even more than crawly things? Or will she be busted down to Pixie... or worse yet, to Brownie?

You decide...

Stay tuned for even more villainy, mayhem, and sinister plotting in the ongoing story of --um-- The... On...Going Story. ahem...

--
Nana nana nana nana na--Da Bear!

Hiding under his cape and shiny black cowl... fur sticking out everywhere.

[Quoth(The Raven)]

(The all powerful Narrator Man©, clears his throat)

Right, now, wot's all this silliness? Clones, Fairies, psychic cats, Giant cats, Magic cats, assasins, ghosts... A right mess you've made of things...

Right-e-o... here's what we'll do...

The Fairie casts her patented 'send out the clones' spell, which merges all the Bobcats...

[Quoth(The Raven)]

(From out of nowhere... a clone of the all powerful Narrator Man © appears, and clears His throat...)

Creating a giant Bob the Cat, which rampages about, eating up all the other clones!

[Quoth(The Raven)]

All Powerful Narrator Man©1: Where did you come from? Stop messing with my Narrative!

All Powerful Narrator Man©2: Whattaya mean, YOUR narrative? This is MY story!

A.P.N.M.c1: I'm the original, here, YOU'RE the clone!

APNM2: I'm not the clone, YOU are!

APNM1: No, YOU are!

Twinx(The Fairie): Quiet! You guys are givin' me a headache! Bothaya go away, and I'll continue the story...

APNM2: He started it!

APNM1: no, he did!

(The two go off camera, arguing all the way...)

Twinx: Right, then, here's what really happens...

[DaBear69]

"Well, would you look at this?" Called Marie in a hushed voice.

"What is it, Marie," inquired Tort, curious to see what Marie was so excited about, "Oh my gawd, what on earth is that crazy cat doing?"

Both stared in stunned silence watching the strangeness before them...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* Haha! Come here all you little crawlies, * Bob the giant kitty was exstatic about being huge once again to spread his terror among all the little former pets, * eew, wot's this? A little clone of the all powerful Narrator Man © *

Letting out a "meowrlf" Bob the cat was all over the little clone of the all powerful Narrator Man ©, pouncing, and then tossing him into the air with one sweep of his mighty paw, catching the clone in his mouth as it fell. Two cruches and it was all over.

* Buurrrrrp! *

* Mmmmm, tasty clone of the all powerful Narrator Man ©... * Thought the giant kitty. Spotting that curious tantalizing flutter-by again Bob quickly moved on, *Ooo! Looks tasty... *

On and on he went, chasing the little sparkly flutter-by, gobbling up all the little clones that got in the way, and into the night to the bright streak of the breaking dawn...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Doctor D'Bear, distracted by the amused chuckles of Tort and Marie, looked up from his research notes to see what all the fuss was.

"Oh," He whispered to them quietly, "He always does that after a good meal. Judging by the way he's kicking and clawing, I'd say he's dreaming, again. No doubt a leave over from his ancestral past of the mighty hunting Jungle Cat that he was bred down from."

"Ooooh," replied Tort and Marie in fascinated unison. Together they continued to watch the strange but fascinating antics of the dreaming Bob cat.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* I have you now little flutter-by! *

* Eat me now and I will become more powerful than you could ever imagine! * responded the dream flutter-by.

* Yeah, yeah... save it for Lucas, * And with that, Bob the cat crunched down on the little fairy, savouring the taste of his dream prey... which, oddly enough, tasted just like his favourite cat treats. Come to think of it, so did the clone of the all powerful Narrator Man ©

A happy purring Bob continued his favorite dream. The addition of a tasty clone of the all powerful Narrator Man © was peculiar, but satisfying...

--

[DaBear69]

(Kinda makes you wonder if the whole story was a dream concocted by the mighty jungle kitty, eh?)

hee hee hee...

ha ha ha ha ha...

MWAHAHAHAhahahahahaha <hic!> hahahaha!...

(My, but that sneaky evilness is intoxicating)

[Ashbless]

Bob is curled up in the crate when he feels a rippling of his fur. Eh, static electricity. He twitches an ear and ignores it when he suddenly realizes he can see out of the crate. He looks at it sharply with his ears and then opens his eyes to blank crate wall. He closes his eyes again and sees the world stretched out before him. He sees a mutant spider creature in a lab in Ireland, a koi swimming in a fish pond in Japan, and multiple other images as well. Disorientation sets in. Great Bast, mother of cats, where am I ?!?
He hears a voice with chime-like tones mutter "okay, right, halfway there."
His fur twitches everywhere. He voices a yowl of protest over this. Bob vanishes from the crate, the koi pond, the lab, the high rise apartment, from reading Matazone forums over his people's shoulder on the computer and reappears in the flower garden where he almost caught the fairy.
"Got you." cried Twinx.
Bob shook out his fur, now the shiny black of a cat who's been exposed to some serious magic. He focused his slit eyes on the fairy. That would be tasty - those have become quite rare since the English started baking them into little cakes. Bob screamed and leaped at the startled Twinx.
Twinx dived under the cat and grabbed a hair from his tail. Bob whipped around to see Twinx sparkle and vanish. He set down for a serious wash and then returned to his people at his suburban home. Who take him to the pound as a stray and are quite startled when a scan of his microchip reveals that he IS their cat that some sicko has obviously dyed black. They take him home - once again wondering what their puss has gotten up to.

[Quoth(The Raven)]

Twinx downloaded the magic from the cat hair into a bottle, which she labled, and placed on a shelf. She sighed with relief. Almost all the magic was back where it belonged...

Almost all? She checked the magic meter. Yep. she'd missed one of the kitties. The magic from 299 cats was in the bottle. What happened to the last kitty?

She shrugged. Details, details... the reports awaited... OOOg.

[Quoth(The Raven)]

In a Lab in Ireland, Bob the cat suddenly awoke, his ears cocked to a strange sound...

*Gonna check this out, boss, possible intruder...* he dissapeared through the door.

He skidded to a stop, right at the feet of a retort clone.

*Oh, Sh...*

Bob suddenly felt a tingly sensation all over.

In the next room, Tort and the others saw a flash of green light from the room Bob was now in...

"Bob!" They all called, in unison.

The door slowly opened, widening the crack Bob had run through, moments before.

In the door stood a creature that was Part man, part cat, with a human sized cat's head on it's shoulders.

*Boss* Bob the Catman telepathed, *I think we have a problem*

[arachnidoc17]

"H**l yeah, we're gonna get sued bu some freaking animator in Japan for coyright infringement!" yelled Tort.

[Ashbless]

Bob couldn't sleep. Hundreds of little voices whispered behind his ears wanting <my pillow, my fish pond, my computer, my person.> He got up and padded to the bedroom. Leaping onto the bed he finds the braid of long haired lady and kneads on her hair with his paws. A sleepy human rolls over and rubs his head calling him "good cat" and "babycat." Bob meows a comment in cat and the human just rubs his chin. "Go to sleep Bob. It's bedtime." Bob gives her hand one last bump and jumps down.
Why the voices? <me, me, me> What did they want? <my pillow, my food dish, my songbirds, my person> Where did they come from? The voices fall silent a moment and one small voice whispers softly in his skull <D'Bear> A purr of agreement whispers down Bob's spine.
D'Bear. His Tort wanted D'Bear. <yes, want D'Bear> How? thought Bob.
A memory surfaced of himself in a lab. A large dark haired fellow <D'Bear> leaned over him. 'Charlie you're my best cat to date. You're bright, computer savvy and those tax breaks you discovered saved me a bundle. Why are you so weak?' The figure positions a scanner over his weak hind legs. 'Demylenization of the motor neurons. A failure after all.'
<want computer> whispered the inner voice of Charlie. Bob knew where long haired lady kept hers. They had spent time there. Him on the top of the warm monitor and her playing with the keys. He stolled into the darkened office. What should we do now? A paw tapped the power switch and booted the computer. A series of paw taps brought up the net and a local airline. A shipment of one live cat to Leap castle, Ireland was booked and, with Bob's memory of Tort 'playing with keys' <password?>, paid for out of Tort's account. A few pawstrokes brought up the word processor and a quick message is typed in and then printed. <Now how do we get to the airport? > Bob had a face wash. It's too far to walk though I could try. <I knows.> a new voice whispers.
A new memory of him in New York City. Riding under the seat of his person's taxi. Helping keep his person by purring him out of road rage.
<we need to get to a hotel, see? The cabs all run from hotels to airports, right? Easy.> Bob grabs the folded paper. He then bounces down and to his food dish. He empties it quickly and takes a long drink of water. He strolls to the front door. Doorknob. <easy mate, It's a snap.> surfaces yet another voice this one with an Australian accent. <Look here.>
A memory surfaces of grey tabby paws, one slightly above each other on a door knob. <One quick twist and you're out. Go on then, give it a go.>
Bob leaps up and tries it. <Naw, naw, one paw higher than the other. G'wan>
Success. The DOOR is OPEN. He can go OUT.
The siren of the house alarm starts to sound as Bob dashes out the door and down to the motel strip holding the printout in his teeth. <It's necessary> assures Charlie. He finds a cab and the New York kitty sneaks them into it while the driver is helping people into the car. It goes smoothly and soon Bob is at the airport. Charlie reads the signs to the cargo area and they quickly make their way to it. Waiting for a moment that both clerks are in the back - the composite cat leaps onto the counter and drops the paper. The clerk reads. 'Sorry, had to head off quickly to work. This is Bob. He's to go on Flight 2343 and is prepaid and To be shipped to Leap Castle at the other end.' The clerk mutters about people and their animals and finds a spare cat carrier. Bob gives no trouble about getting into it. A fact the clerk is quite happy about. Soon Bob is flying to Ireland - fast asleep.

[Quoth(The Raven)]

Are all the Bob clones accounted for? What of the retorts? And what will the Catman do? (Get it? cat man Do? Kathmandu? Oh, just forget It! See if I make another pun! *Grumble, Grumble*) Will our heroes ever live happily ever after? Stay tuned, Cat and Bear fans!

[DaBear69]

Are all the Bob clones accounted for? What of the retorts? And what will the Catman do? (Get it? cat man Do? Kathmandu? Oh, just forget It! See if I make another pun! *Grumble, Grumble*) Will our heroes ever live happily ever after? Stay tuned, Cat and Bear fans!

Oh, my!

That one's even worse than the ones I usually do... good work! I doff my hat to you... mostly from the urge to duck.


--

I'm hoping I left the T.A.T.T.L.E. on manual. The Zone isn't quite ready for that, yet.

[Ashbless]

*Hey Boss* telepathed the Catman. *I can sense the other clones*

"What about me?" said Tort.

*Hmm. Just the clones - starting with one in the obliette.*

"Why this is excellent." exclaimed Dr. D'Bear. "We can use you to track them down. Nigel - my flame thrower. "

The four humans and one ??? head through the chapel and look down into the little pit room off to the side.

Nigel hangs back. He figures he's spent enough time in that horrible place. He knows very well what it is like. For a moment he thinks he catches sight of a figure in priest's vestaments out of the corner of his eye. He turns quickly but noone is there.

[Ashbless]

The click and roar of flame from behind Nigel makes him dive for cover.

The Tort in the obliette came prepared. It brought a flame thrower hoping to catch at least Dr.D'Bear. Catman's very flammable Tort flesh catches fire instantly. Tort's lightning fast reflexes save him and he grabs Marie on his dive away. Dr. D'Bear also shows some of his admirable sprinting speed as he vacates the chapel. The Catman dives at the Tort clone in a burning rage. Both fall out of sight down into the obliette onto the spike historically left in place from the time of the Carrols, warlords of Ireland.

Eric at the front door, on his crutches, signs for delivery of one black cat from the states. *Let me out of here you twit* snaps the telepathic Charlie/Bob.

[arachnidoc17]

Dr. D'bear was feeling quite lazy and exhausted by now. He wanted a drink. He wanted some assistance. He wanted to go back to his lab. His lab! That's it! His laziest idea EVER! Dr. got out his cell phone.

"Hello? bio-genetics. Seven-six-zero-five-zero-alpha-bravo-foxtrot. Yes. Get the chain. Yes. No. Yes. Doesn't matter. No. Yes. Cover it. Yes. No. The truck. Yes. No. Yes. Goodbye."

Finally, he would use his own hard work for a chance to slack off.
The Dr. had just made a choice that would raise hell, AND the world record for plot twists.