Three minute funeral plan Options

[Mata]

You've got three minutes to plan your funeral. Go!

Here's mine:

No lilies, cardboard box not a coffin, play 'My Kingdom' by FSOL (I'll accept the radio edit not the 11 minute mix), and everyone has to chip in £20 for a free bar all night. Sorted.

[Phyllis]

Willow casket (eco friendly, but prettier than carboard), open casket so I can wear my "You have died of dysentery" t-shirt, eulogy that makes people laugh instead of cry, someone must update my Facebook status to "Candice is haunting you."

And if whoever delivers the eulogy pronounces my name as "Candeeeeeeese," I will be haunting people. Consider yourselves warned.

Oh, and I'd prefer to be buried in a green cemetery. I'm not fussed about the flower arrangements at the funeral. I had a song in mind, but can't remember what it was at the moment. Oh, it might have been Birdhouse in Your Soul. I know it was something cheerful and not at all to do with death. Looking through my I-Tunes to make sure will take more than 3 minutes, so I'll go with that. No hymns.

...I'm not a fan of depressing funerals. Never would have guessed, eh? I don't mind if anyone cries (goodness knows I can't help myself from doing so at funerals), but I'd rather try to make them laugh and celebrate my life instead of mourning my death.

[Daria]

Maaan. Once, when I was working at the funeral home and was bored, I planned the most expensive funeral EVER.

Ok, so here we go: I want to be burried in a box on a hill with a twisted willow planted beside the grave. Flowers are optional, but no wreaths. I want Clair De Lune playing, and for everyone to cry a lot.

CRY, DAMN YOU, CRY!

[I_am_the_best]

Bury me whole, children aren't allowed to bring colouring things or be distracting, not fussed where I'm buried, if I'm not blowing my own horn too much then I'd like In Paradisum from Fauré's Requiem (but perhaps that's too cheesy/too large a piece for just me), and after there can be a lovely classical concert. And no crying, people can cry in the privacy of their own homes if they so wish.

[Moosh]

Stick my body on top of a big pile of wood next to a river. Set it on fire and when it's all burned push what's left into the water. In India, obviously, you're not allowed to do that kind of thing here.

[Cath Sparrow]

Not against the idea of being toasted but if not I'd probably go for the cardboard box idea. If I do get cremated I'd want to be chucked off a cliff somewhere stunning (sea or mountain cliff either good). I just like the idea of floating on the wind somewhere amazing. I think I'd go for Dance Macarbre (sp?) to be played the idea just appeals being about death but up beat at the same time.

[elphaba2]

Animal Collective's 'Fireworks' playing, Ghanaian/most-of-the-third-world-style funeral where everyone is allowed to scream or cry or stare blankly--basically grieve/not grieve however they want--and then get wasted and have a huge dance party. It's how funerals should be, dogg. Don't really care how I get disposed of (carpet in the East River?) but I want all my leftover nonsense (organs that are still in OK shape, so probably not liver--sorry, liver!) goin to people who can use em. I really like the idea of someone walking around with my eyes, for example. OH and I want to make ridiculous stipulations in my will. Like everyone who receives something from me has to get paired up with a stranger and be pen pals for a month, or has to take a trip somewhere with some of the money they get. Or give a Kiva loan, or write a letter to the president.

I suppose I'd better make sure I have enough money to leave anything for anybody.

OH OH and I want to haunt people. Maybe. Actually not. I want to go to another planet where everyone zooms around in beams of energy and communicates through manipulations of wavelengths and appreciates beauty and I can stick my feet in a stream at the same time as wandering an immense and complicated and stunning library. Basically live physically inside my own head. That would be dope.

[elphaba2]

PS was anyone else incredibly energized and made happy and excited by planning their own funeral? o.O, maybe I should get m'self checked out. I just like thinking about how I could use something sad, like 'oh no I am dead' to make other people REALLY happy for frivolous reasons.

[voices_in_my_hea...]

OKAY

I don't care what I'm buried in or if I'm burried, seriously. If you spend major $$$ on what you burry me in, though, I'll come back and haunt you, and not in a casper-the-friendly-ghost way. I want to play either Let it Be by the Beatles or One Chance by Modest Mouse. You do not under any circumstances have to dress up for my funeral, and wearing pajamas in encouraged. I want there to be a huge party after the funeral where everyone cracks jokes and tells funny stories, instead of mourning. I want my tombstone (if I have one) to say something funny, no Hymns and no prayers.
Oh! And Irises. I love Irises.
And my organs shall be donated.

The end.

[CrazyFooIAintGet...]

No dress code. And I don't want good songs to be tainted by my death! And Mata's free bar idea is a good one, I'll have that too.

...I'm not a fan of depressing funerals.

I don't think theres any way round that. Whatever awesomeness you plan for it theres still gonna be a bit of a "your loved one is dead" vibe to it...

children aren't allowed to bring colouring things

That's a bit harsh. At my funeral all the children should be given some nice colouring books (possibly about death). No need to ruin their day as well!

And no crying, people can cry in the privacy of their own homes if they so wish.

Haha, the thought of people crying at a funeral and being told to go home is quite amusing

OH and I want to make ridiculous stipulations in my will. Like everyone who receives something from me has to get paired up with a stranger and be pen pals for a month, or has to take a trip somewhere with some of the money they get. Or give a Kiva loan, or write a letter to the president.

Yes! this is an amazing idea. Also someone has to be forced to stay a night in a haunted house.

As for my remains, recycle the organs and launch the unwanted bits into space please.

[Yannick]

Ready, can do this in 10 seconds.

Give everyone enough time to say their goodbyes, burn me, and use me as fertilizer to plant some awesome tree, and make sure that tree never gets destroyed. Decorate the surroundings of that tree with flowers and pretty stones and whatever as long as it looks nice once it grows.

*edit* I like the idea of being launched into space more. Can we put me in a casket and do that instead? Put a music thing on it that is powered by solar power or movement or something, so it can play my favorite music forever.

[elphaba2]

Does anyone else think it is kind of creepy that even though we are designed to gently decay into the earth over time (and have done so comfortably for centuries) we now set aside special areas and pump corpses full of chemicals and plop them in steel boxes so they'll never really rot? I wanna rot, but it's illegal! Why is it illegal to let me rot, society?

[Cath Sparrow]

Yeh, I agree with the wanting to rot thing.

Oooo! I remebered something else I liked the idea of. It was a random thing in a tv show or something where they'd mixed the ashes up with whatever and turn them into the lead for pencils they gave to the guests at the funeral. I like the being turned into a dimond thing as well but the was something about the pencils that apealed more.

[LoLo]

2 a.m. Chain my feet to cement blocks and throw me in the ocean making it look like a mob hit. No music because it might alert the cops.

[Mata]

Well, I guess that would help the coroner work out cause of death...

[Phyllis]

I don't think theres any way round that. Whatever awesomeness you plan for it theres still gonna be a bit of a "your loved one is dead" vibe to it...

Eh, I've been to a lot of funerals. There's always going to be an air of sadness, but some really are much more depressing than others. I'm always sad when I attend them, of course, but the extra-somber ones generally end up making me feel worse. I prefer the type where people share funny stories about the deceased person. It makes you miss them, sure, but it also makes you at least crack a smile. That's what I meant by the idea of a non-depressing funeral.

[Pikasyuu]

Dump my ashes in the Kamo River, play Rhythm is a Dancer, and ensure that someone is paid off to pronounce Candice's name 'Candeeeeeeeeeeese' at her funeral, so I can have a good laugh in the afterlife.

[LoLo]

Well, I guess that would help the coroner work out cause of death...

It's my funeral though, so I'd already be dead when they threw my body in the ocean.

Dump my ashes in the Kamo River, play Rhythm is a Dancer, and ensure that someone is paid off to pronounce Candice's name 'Candeeeeeeeeeeese' at her funeral, so I can have a good laugh in the afterlife.

I'll do it, though this does have to rest on that first Cand outlives you, and second I outlive you both. haha

[Phyllis]

Note to self: must find someone to wear a Jason>Kiefer shirt to Lo's funeral.

[Cath Sparrow]

Sorry cant do it Cand being a payed up memeber of the Kiefer>Jason Club and all, even though I will obviously out live the lot of you! Mwahahar!

Oh! To be back towards the topic you can only use my pencils for nice stuff.

[LoLo]

Note to self: must find someone to wear a Jason>Kiefer shirt to Lo's funeral.

It might have to be glow in the dark for anyone to see it at my funeral. haha

[voices_in_my_hea...]

A friend of mine and I played this game awhile ago (how morbid is that, right?) and this is what she said:

"Cremate me, instead of a funeral I want you guys to just hang out like nothing happened, share some stories, and get on with your lives. The only thing I ask is that if anyone close to me travels somewhere interesting, take a bit of my ashes and spread them there. I want to go all over the world."

Which I thought was brilliant.

[Ashbless]

I always liked the idea of the container not actually being there for my funeral. Let the medical students have it as a cadaver. They've got to learn somehow, eh? Aparently they give the bits a memorial service afterwards.
Family and friends could have a wake or memorial service if they were keen. A funeral I attended a couple years ago had a photo montage and stories about the deceased that told about her life. Almost a 'speaker for the dead' style of thing. It was really quite moving / healing. After people could get up to share stories if they were keen. Some did. Afterwards the husband had a bunch of the friends and family come to the house for a house party? wake? shiva? thing.
Sorry. No more ideas. Donating to non-terrorist causes in my name might be a nice touch.

[oxym0ronical]

This is kinda lengthy but in actuality it took me less than three minutes to plan

I want to donate any and all organs that are still useful. Then I want to be cremated, with my ashes divided into four parts.

• The first part, I want spread in the ocean somewhere.
• The second part, I want spread in the mountains near where I grew up.
• The third part, I want spread by the lake on the ranch where I lived when I was much younger (my most fond childhood memories are from there).
• And finally, the fourth part should be placed in urn that can stay wherever my headstone is - I wouldn't bother with this part, but it really upsets my family that I want to be cremated, because there's nowhere they can go to 'visit'. And, really, once I'm dead, I won't care so if it comforts them, I'm all for it.

I don't want a long, drawn out funeral. I don't want a lot of people there, because in life, I am a very private person. But, I do want a couple people who knew me best to share some good stories with everyone. I want my friends and family to get together and celebrate life. And, at the end, right as everyone is leaving, I want Another One Bites The Dust played - much to my mom's dismay

[Mata]

Good choice of final song Although it should then be followed by a recorded message saying 'Did you notice that the cakes were a little bit gritty? And that the ashes seem a little lighter than you were expecting...' They say we live on in those who loved us, so why not take it to the next step!