 Grammer Nazis, critics, and sceptics..., unite! |
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 Aug 20 2005, 04:13 AM
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 Meow!  Group: Established Members Posts: 3,694 Joined: 17-September 04 From: The land of the fireant Member No.: 1,296 Gender: Secret  |
Okay, here it is... the thread for bitching about how society is being dumbed down. Some examples:
1. A sign in the parking lot of a local grocery store: "Food Lion, Inc. cannot be responsible for damage caused by loose shopping carts". Bullsh*t! They COULD be responsible, if they wanted to. What they mean is they WON't be responsible... 2. "I just saved a Bunch of Money, by switching to Geico..." Urgh. Money does not come in bunches. Bannanas come in Bunches, Cocoanuts come in bunches, even shorts come in Bunches... But money does not... repeat, NOT come in bunches! -------------------- Arthur, Gwen, and Quoth...Onwards to 4000 posts!Quoth is Cath's noob - what was she thinking?:)Duckflaps!Watch out for low flying kittens!'Dance, Monkey, Dance!' Well, this monkey don't dance no more!Never say 'die'... except as a command! I adopted Insaneperc!What kind of fool do you take me for? I don't know. How many kinds are there?
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Aug 20 2005, 04:20 AM
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 Worrying Group: New Members Posts: 179 Joined: 9-August 05 From: Indiana, US Member No.: 1,943 Gender: Male |
A calendar my mom got for a class she's taking had this lovely sentence:
(Talking about people in a contest) "Hot on there heals is..." My brain wanted to explode. Instead, I just had to correct all the spelling and grammar mistakes I found. It was saddening... -------------------- Kiss me, I'm draconian!I belong to SPEAKERfortheLOST! Fear us!Tisiphone is my wonderful flying kitten!
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Aug 20 2005, 04:21 AM
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#3
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Meow! Group: Established Members Posts: 3,694 Joined: 17-September 04 From: The land of the fireant Member No.: 1,296 Gender: Secret |
"It's the soup that eats like a meal..."
Neither Soups nor Meals eat... WE eat THEM... -------------------- Arthur, Gwen, and Quoth...Onwards to 4000 posts!Quoth is Cath's noob - what was she thinking?:)Duckflaps!Watch out for low flying kittens!'Dance, Monkey, Dance!' Well, this monkey don't dance no more!Never say 'die'... except as a command! I adopted Insaneperc!What kind of fool do you take me for? I don't know. How many kinds are there?
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 Aug 20 2005, 01:26 PM
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#4
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 Obsessive Group: Established Members Posts: 226 Joined: 27-May 03 From: Leicester, England Member No.: 337 |
-------------------- _colors and witty words and sirens with bells and lights that make my posts look unique like everyone elses!_
Sorry, the Retro Grouch stole my inspiration... |
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Aug 20 2005, 01:41 PM
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 Transdimensional Traveler Group: Established Members Posts: 1,322 Joined: 20-August 04 From: Somewhere in the Æther Member No.: 1,244 Gender: Secret |
A person that i don't know came up to me one day and said that I wasn't normal and that GOD would help me with that problem.
I responded in kind with: "OK. Define normal. Define this problem you speak of. Now do you fit those descriptions all the time? Is it possible that I'm completely normal while you aren't? Sir, it's time to wake up and smell the perception." I then walked away and felt really good. If you were in my shoes then, what would you have done? -------------------- It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion,
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, The hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning, It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. Jack of all trades, master of none, though offtimes better than master of one. Carpe Noctem, pro cras nos necemus Carpe Diem, pro hodie nos mutiamo |
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Aug 20 2005, 10:14 PM
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#6
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 I could have written a short novel by this point Group: Established Members Posts: 1,959 Joined: 12-May 04 From: Victoria B.C. Member No.: 1,112 Gender: Female |
One sign I read still makes me giggle.
 Please take advantage of our chambermaids. --------------------      It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning, It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. - SpeakertotheLost |
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Aug 20 2005, 10:58 PM
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#7
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 I could have written a short novel by this point Group: Banned Posts: 1,748 Joined: 19-October 04 From: Shropshire, UK. Member No.: 1,378 Gender: Male |
-------------------- People should not be afraid of their governments, governments should be afraid of their people.
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Aug 21 2005, 12:50 AM
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#8
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Worrying Group: New Members Posts: 179 Joined: 9-August 05 From: Indiana, US Member No.: 1,943 Gender: Male |
QUOTE (SPEAKERfortheLOST @ Aug 20 2005, 08:41 AM) A person that i don't know came up to me one day and said that I wasn't normal and that GOD would help me with that problem. I responded in kind with: "OK. Define normal. Define this problem you speak of. Now do you fit those descriptions all the time? Is it possible that I'm completely normal while you aren't? Sir, it's time to wake up and smell the perception." I then walked away and felt really good. If you were in my shoes then, what would you have done?  Good way to handle it, I must say. I personally avoid those people when I can, as they don't seem very open to reason. I can't say that's happened much to me, though. -------------------- Kiss me, I'm draconian!I belong to SPEAKERfortheLOST! Fear us!Tisiphone is my wonderful flying kitten!
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Aug 21 2005, 12:56 AM
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#9
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Meow! Group: Established Members Posts: 3,694 Joined: 17-September 04 From: The land of the fireant Member No.: 1,296 Gender: Secret |
Seen on a weight watcher's commercial: "...It works THAT good..."
argh!. Things don't work good. Sometimes, they work WELL, but they never work good... -------------------- Arthur, Gwen, and Quoth...Onwards to 4000 posts!Quoth is Cath's noob - what was she thinking?:)Duckflaps!Watch out for low flying kittens!'Dance, Monkey, Dance!' Well, this monkey don't dance no more!Never say 'die'... except as a command! I adopted Insaneperc!What kind of fool do you take me for? I don't know. How many kinds are there?
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Aug 21 2005, 01:00 AM
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#10
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Worrying Group: New Members Posts: 179 Joined: 9-August 05 From: Indiana, US Member No.: 1,943 Gender: Male |
*sigh* All the time, I hear about how something went "good". It seems like hardly anybody these days realises that the adverb form is "well", not "good". Drives me crazy, it does. *walks off muttering*
-------------------- Kiss me, I'm draconian!I belong to SPEAKERfortheLOST! Fear us!Tisiphone is my wonderful flying kitten!
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Aug 21 2005, 01:02 AM
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#11
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 If my woman were a fire... Group: Established Members Posts: 3,328 Joined: 14-November 04 From: hole-in-the-ground, Texas Member No.: 1,473 Gender: Female |
QUOTE (silvermoon @ Aug 20 2005, 07:50 PM) QUOTE (SPEAKERfortheLOST @ Aug 20 2005, 08:41 AM) A person that i don't know came up to me one day and said that I wasn't normal and that GOD would help me with that problem. I responded in kind with: "OK. Define normal. Define this problem you speak of. Now do you fit those descriptions all the time? Is it possible that I'm completely normal while you aren't? Sir, it's time to wake up and smell the perception." I then walked away and felt really good. If you were in my shoes then, what would you have done? Good way to handle it, I must say. I personally avoid those people when I can, as they don't seem very open to reason. I can't say that's happened much to me, though. I tend to give them long, rambling lectures that start out about them and usally ends up with something completly irelevent like penguins or how I couldn't find my shoes that morning. There's just one thing that really bothers me: Will people please, please stop saying "Git 'er done" every chance they get? -------------------- Her dignity shone so bright like a light on a hill and she burned for me, no other man came near her flame. Bad country songs - the deafening twang of the rich white kid blues. You can own the strange, but the lights and glares will not make you real. |
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Aug 21 2005, 01:08 AM
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#12
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Meow! Group: Established Members Posts: 3,694 Joined: 17-September 04 From: The land of the fireant Member No.: 1,296 Gender: Secret |
*Sigh* I guess it's understandable that the English language is getting abused so much In America... after all, we have a president who thinks "See Dick Run" is classic Literature, and can't pronounce the word "Nuclear" to save his life...
-------------------- Arthur, Gwen, and Quoth...Onwards to 4000 posts!Quoth is Cath's noob - what was she thinking?:)Duckflaps!Watch out for low flying kittens!'Dance, Monkey, Dance!' Well, this monkey don't dance no more!Never say 'die'... except as a command! I adopted Insaneperc!What kind of fool do you take me for? I don't know. How many kinds are there?
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Aug 21 2005, 01:11 AM
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#13
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Worrying Group: New Members Posts: 179 Joined: 9-August 05 From: Indiana, US Member No.: 1,943 Gender: Male |
They just don't teach grammar anymore. I've been in honors English for years, and I have yet to have had a class where they go beyond nouns, verbs, and adjectives. Usually, they don't bother teaching even that. No wonder Americans don't know their grammar.
-------------------- Kiss me, I'm draconian!I belong to SPEAKERfortheLOST! Fear us!Tisiphone is my wonderful flying kitten!
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Aug 21 2005, 01:19 AM
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#14
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Meow! Group: Established Members Posts: 3,694 Joined: 17-September 04 From: The land of the fireant Member No.: 1,296 Gender: Secret |
QUOTE (silvermoon @ Aug 20 2005, 08:11 PM) They just don't teach grammar anymore. I've been in honors English for years, and I have yet to have had a class where they go beyond nouns, verbs, and adjectives. Usually, they don't bother teaching even that. No wonder Americans don't know their grammar. Hey, I never had any use for grammer, in school... much too boring... everything I know, I picked up from my reading, which, If I do say so myself, is extensive... -------------------- Arthur, Gwen, and Quoth...Onwards to 4000 posts!Quoth is Cath's noob - what was she thinking?:)Duckflaps!Watch out for low flying kittens!'Dance, Monkey, Dance!' Well, this monkey don't dance no more!Never say 'die'... except as a command! I adopted Insaneperc!What kind of fool do you take me for? I don't know. How many kinds are there?
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Aug 21 2005, 01:25 AM
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#15
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Meow! Group: Established Members Posts: 3,694 Joined: 17-September 04 From: The land of the fireant Member No.: 1,296 Gender: Secret |
Idea for a new gameshow... We'll call it "Shock the monkey". Each episode, annoying celebrities will receive shocks for being annoying. Episode one: President Bush will receive electric shocks each time he mispronounces the word "Nuclear". Episode Two: Snoop Dogg will receive an electrical shock every time he murders a word, by adding an "Izzle" to it. Episode Three: Chef Emeril will be shocked everytime he yells "Bam!". Episode four": Donald Trump will be electricuted, not only for saying, "You're fired!", but on general principles...
-------------------- Arthur, Gwen, and Quoth...Onwards to 4000 posts!Quoth is Cath's noob - what was she thinking?:)Duckflaps!Watch out for low flying kittens!'Dance, Monkey, Dance!' Well, this monkey don't dance no more!Never say 'die'... except as a command! I adopted Insaneperc!What kind of fool do you take me for? I don't know. How many kinds are there?
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Aug 21 2005, 01:30 AM
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#16
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Worrying Group: New Members Posts: 179 Joined: 9-August 05 From: Indiana, US Member No.: 1,943 Gender: Male |
QUOTE Hey, I never had any use for grammer, in school... much too boring... everything I know, I picked up from my reading, which, If I do say so myself, is extensive... That obviously worked for you, and I learned my grammar and vocabulary much the same way, but unfortunately, not very many people my age read at all. They'd rather spend their time playing games or just chatting online. Not that there is anything wrong with that, of course, but the text-speak that many people use is indecipherable. It certainly doesn't encourage good English. -------------------- Kiss me, I'm draconian!I belong to SPEAKERfortheLOST! Fear us!Tisiphone is my wonderful flying kitten!
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Aug 21 2005, 01:43 AM
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#17
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Meow! Group: Established Members Posts: 3,694 Joined: 17-September 04 From: The land of the fireant Member No.: 1,296 Gender: Secret |
oh, and as an added feature on "Shock the monkey", we could feature mock trials and on air executions for those who routinely mangle the language in extrodinary ways...
1. the Ad executive who first said, "Just do it!" Draw and quarter him. Please. 2. "A sandwich is a sandwich, but a manwhich is a meal" stuff his shorts with chum, and drop him in a shark tank... 3. "You deserve a break today..." Break him. In half. -------------------- Arthur, Gwen, and Quoth...Onwards to 4000 posts!Quoth is Cath's noob - what was she thinking?:)Duckflaps!Watch out for low flying kittens!'Dance, Monkey, Dance!' Well, this monkey don't dance no more!Never say 'die'... except as a command! I adopted Insaneperc!What kind of fool do you take me for? I don't know. How many kinds are there?
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Aug 21 2005, 01:47 AM
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#18
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Worrying Group: New Members Posts: 179 Joined: 9-August 05 From: Indiana, US Member No.: 1,943 Gender: Male |
QUOTE (Quoth(The Raven) @ Aug 20 2005, 08:43 PM) oh, and as an added feature on "Shock the monkey", we could feature mock trials and on air executions for those who routinely mangle the language in extrodinary ways... 1. the Ad executive who first said, "Just do it!" Draw and quarter him. Please. 2. "A sandwich is a sandwich, but a manwhich is a meal" stuff his shorts with chum, and drop him in a shark tank... 3. "You deserve a break today..." Break him. In half. Sounds like great fun! People like that just encourage others to misuse the language, which is the last thing anyone needs. Oh, and may I also suggest that crazy frog thing? I know it's not really dealing with language, but it keeps playing on the radio and it drives me crazy! -------------------- Kiss me, I'm draconian!I belong to SPEAKERfortheLOST! Fear us!Tisiphone is my wonderful flying kitten!
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Aug 21 2005, 02:03 AM
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#19
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Meow! Group: Established Members Posts: 3,694 Joined: 17-September 04 From: The land of the fireant Member No.: 1,296 Gender: Secret |
More irritations from Advertisements:
1: "I'm lovin' it!" I'm sick of it. 2: "A sale so good you can't miss it..." I can't miss it, Physically, or I won't miss it if I don't attend? 3: "don't miss it!" I will if I want to, Damnit! -------------------- Arthur, Gwen, and Quoth...Onwards to 4000 posts!Quoth is Cath's noob - what was she thinking?:)Duckflaps!Watch out for low flying kittens!'Dance, Monkey, Dance!' Well, this monkey don't dance no more!Never say 'die'... except as a command! I adopted Insaneperc!What kind of fool do you take me for? I don't know. How many kinds are there?
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Aug 21 2005, 02:10 AM
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#20
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Worrying Group: New Members Posts: 179 Joined: 9-August 05 From: Indiana, US Member No.: 1,943 Gender: Male |
I find advertisements annoying in general. I want to watch a half hour show, not 20 minutes of show and 10 minutes of commercials! Nowadays, I just don't watch television.
-------------------- Kiss me, I'm draconian!I belong to SPEAKERfortheLOST! Fear us!Tisiphone is my wonderful flying kitten!
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Aug 21 2005, 03:32 AM
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#21
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If my woman were a fire... Group: Established Members Posts: 3,328 Joined: 14-November 04 From: hole-in-the-ground, Texas Member No.: 1,473 Gender: Female |
QUOTE (silvermoon @ Aug 20 2005, 08:11 PM) They just don't teach grammar anymore. I've been in honors English for years, and I have yet to have had a class where they go beyond nouns, verbs, and adjectives. Usually, they don't bother teaching even that. No wonder Americans don't know their grammar. Grammer is pretty much the only thing we do learn in english class in the first few weeks. Quoth, How do you pronounce nuclear, anyway? -------------------- Her dignity shone so bright like a light on a hill and she burned for me, no other man came near her flame. Bad country songs - the deafening twang of the rich white kid blues. You can own the strange, but the lights and glares will not make you real. |
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Aug 21 2005, 04:55 AM
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#22
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Meow! Group: Established Members Posts: 3,694 Joined: 17-September 04 From: The land of the fireant Member No.: 1,296 Gender: Secret |
QUOTE (voices_in_my_head @ Aug 20 2005, 10:32 PM) QUOTE (silvermoon @ Aug 20 2005, 08:11 PM) They just don't teach grammar anymore. I've been in honors English for years, and I have yet to have had a class where they go beyond nouns, verbs, and adjectives. Usually, they don't bother teaching even that. No wonder Americans don't know their grammar. Grammer is pretty much the only thing we do learn in english class in the first few weeks. Quoth, How do you pronounce nuclear, anyway? Nuclear = New. Klee. Are. Pretty much as advertised... Bush pronounces it New. cue. Ler. Blast him! -------------------- Arthur, Gwen, and Quoth...Onwards to 4000 posts!Quoth is Cath's noob - what was she thinking?:)Duckflaps!Watch out for low flying kittens!'Dance, Monkey, Dance!' Well, this monkey don't dance no more!Never say 'die'... except as a command! I adopted Insaneperc!What kind of fool do you take me for? I don't know. How many kinds are there?
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Aug 21 2005, 01:28 PM
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#23
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If my woman were a fire... Group: Established Members Posts: 3,328 Joined: 14-November 04 From: hole-in-the-ground, Texas Member No.: 1,473 Gender: Female |
QUOTE (Quoth(The Raven) @ Aug 20 2005, 11:55 PM) Nuclear = New. Klee. Are. Pretty much as advertised... Bush pronounces it New. cue. Ler. Blast him! Crap.... that's how I say it... Can I blame it on the accent?
-------------------- Her dignity shone so bright like a light on a hill and she burned for me, no other man came near her flame. Bad country songs - the deafening twang of the rich white kid blues. You can own the strange, but the lights and glares will not make you real. |
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Aug 21 2005, 02:09 PM
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I'm afraid I'm back. Group: Established Members Posts: 3,389 Joined: 23-September 04 From: Cambridge Member No.: 1,308 Gender: Male |
I know many people who pronounce it 'New Killer'.
Although one of these people also says 'trangle' instead of triangle. It's always fun to get him to tell us what shape an arrowhead is. 'Trangiller'. I get a laugh out of seeing huge promotional posters and billboards, which must have been checked by at least a small team of people, in some cases, perhaps hundreds of employees, yet they still have apostrophes in the wrong places, such as 'your'e', 'your's', 'theyr'e', 'their's' etc. Also I heard there's a show on MTV called Trippin'. -------------------- |
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Aug 21 2005, 05:00 PM
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#25
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 Browncoat Group: Established Members Posts: 1,547 Joined: 18-August 05 From: Out in the black Member No.: 1,958 Gender: Female |
I hate people who misuse apostrphes. "Selling CD Player's" is an atrocious misuse of a perfectly good punctuation mark. The good/well issue bothers me a lot, as does spelling "a lot" "alot". It's not a word, foolish mortals.
Another thing that truly annoys me is the phrase "in-depth news." In how much depth will the news be covered? How does one measure the depth of news anyway? Yet another pet peeve: "heart-rendering." Rendering is what one does with animal fat. "Heart-rending" is the correct phrase when you mean emotionally appealing and meant to invoke pity and sorrw. My favorite book about the mangling of English and punctuation is "Eats, Shoots, and Leaves" by Lynne Truss. It's a very funny and informative book. You should all read it. It contains most of my punctuation-related pet peeves. -------------------- Sometimes we can choose the path we follow. Sometimes our choices are made for us. And sometimes we have no choice at all. ~Morpheus, King of Dreams
I am a leaf on the wind. See me soar.      |
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