 Airport security, so...what can I get away with? |
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 Nov 4 2009, 08:28 PM
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#1
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 If my woman were a fire...  Group: Established Members Posts: 3,328 Joined: 14-November 04 From: hole-in-the-ground, Texas Member No.: 1,473 Gender: Female  |
This friday, I'm getting on a plane to Dallas, Texas to see my boyfriend. (I'm so excited!)
However, it's just occured to me that since Texas has such strict laws over the possesion of sex toys (Owning over six is considered intent to distribute, and therefore is illegal.) that they may not be so cool about it when I go through and they find my vibrator in the carry-on bag. Now, this wouldn't be a problem...if I were eighteen. So my question is, is it legal to own a vibrator when you're underage? I mean, if i go through airport security and they find it, I'm not going to have to explain some awkward things, am I? thanks 
-------------------- Her dignity shone so bright like a light on a hill and she burned for me, no other man came near her flame. Bad country songs - the deafening twang of the rich white kid blues. You can own the strange, but the lights and glares will not make you real. |
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Nov 4 2009, 08:39 PM
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 Wait for the uprising Group: Established Members Posts: 3,177 Joined: 7-April 05 From: In a cave in Scotland Member No.: 1,735 Gender: Female |
Get him to have one at his house, and solve all problems?
Texas is stupid. Seriously. And yeah, one assumes it would be seen as illegal: just as you carrying explicit pornograpy (dvds or magazines) would be. -------------------- We are unraveling our navels so that we may ingest the sun. DARIA IZ GOOD ON TOAST TOAST IZ GOOD ON DARIA |
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Nov 4 2009, 08:45 PM
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#3
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 I plug directly into my computer Group: Established Members Posts: 3,640 Joined: 18-November 04 From: Manchester Member No.: 1,488 Gender: Male |
The question is how much any airport security people would care about you carrying an illegal vibrator. You're not going to hijack the plane with it so unless you got someone who morally disapproved you'd probably be fine. However, if you were looking for someone who would morally disapprove and make a big deal about it, the combination of Texas and security staff would be one of the first places I'd look.
Having never tried to sneak anything onto a plane, I don't really have any useful advice here, sorry. -------------------- QUOTE (Peter Griffin) Math, my dear boy, is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology. |
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Nov 4 2009, 09:01 PM
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#4
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 I could have written a short novel by this point Group: Established Members Posts: 1,579 Joined: 4-August 08 Member No.: 12,759 Gender: Secret |
Put it in the main luggage non-carry-on thing? Imagine funny it would actually be if some really old dude pulls it out of your bag, and sincerely says something like "Ooh, what's this for, deary?"
Carrying porn is illegal? Once you get to the bit where they actually scan you and your stuff to make sure you don't have anything illegal, you're past the point when they ID you anyway, so it shouldn't really be a problem. -------------------- Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust. You couldn’t be here if stars hadn’t exploded, because the elements - the carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, iron, all the things that matter for evolution and for life - weren’t created at the beginning of time. They were created in the nuclear furnaces of stars, and the only way for them to get into your body is if those stars were kind enough to explode. So, forget God. The stars died so that you could be here today. ~Lawrence Krauss
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Nov 4 2009, 09:05 PM
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#5
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 Lord of the Keys Group: Established Members Posts: 2,197 Joined: 1-October 04 From: Wonderful-smelling dwelling in French-Canada Member No.: 1,329 Gender: Female |
Voices + baggy pants = airport attire
Vibrator - batteries = pocket-ready Put the dang thing in your back pocket + wear a long top (it goes in bag until you get the airport + are out of parent's eyeshot, into bathroom goes voices, into pocket goes Dirty Horrible Unchristian Sex Toy). Once you're through security, pop it in your bag. Texas will never be the wiser. (note: this works as long as it's not like a foot long. Or made entirely of metal.) A massive massive quantity of things have crossed borders with me in this manner. We will not go into specifics. -------------------- can I kiss your dopamine? In a way I wonder if she's living in a magazine |
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Nov 4 2009, 09:24 PM
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#6
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I could have written a short novel by this point Group: Established Members Posts: 1,579 Joined: 4-August 08 Member No.: 12,759 Gender: Secret |
QUOTE (elphaba2 @ Nov 4 2009, 06:05 PM)  A massive massive quantity of things have crossed borders with me in this manner. We will not go into specifics. Matazone needs "like" buttons. I don't actually have a response to make to this, other than "liking" it. Imaginary thumb up. -------------------- Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust. You couldn’t be here if stars hadn’t exploded, because the elements - the carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, iron, all the things that matter for evolution and for life - weren’t created at the beginning of time. They were created in the nuclear furnaces of stars, and the only way for them to get into your body is if those stars were kind enough to explode. So, forget God. The stars died so that you could be here today. ~Lawrence Krauss
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Nov 4 2009, 09:35 PM
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#7
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I could have written a short novel by this point Group: Established Members Posts: 1,579 Joined: 4-August 08 Member No.: 12,759 Gender: Secret |
There's also nothing that necessarily indicates that it's your vibrator. Your friend, who is conveniently 18, could be traveling with you but ran out of bag space. When I was like eleven, we were flying back from Germany and I had a thing of cigs with me that I purchased at one of those street vendors. I didn't know what to do with it, so stuck it in my carry-on, and all was fine. Well, until a year when they were still in the bag (because smoking is gross) and my mom found them. I sorta used the situation to my advantage, pointing out that the thing was still full, but meh.
-------------------- Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust. You couldn’t be here if stars hadn’t exploded, because the elements - the carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, iron, all the things that matter for evolution and for life - weren’t created at the beginning of time. They were created in the nuclear furnaces of stars, and the only way for them to get into your body is if those stars were kind enough to explode. So, forget God. The stars died so that you could be here today. ~Lawrence Krauss
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Nov 4 2009, 09:36 PM
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#8
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If my woman were a fire... Group: Established Members Posts: 3,328 Joined: 14-November 04 From: hole-in-the-ground, Texas Member No.: 1,473 Gender: Female |
QUOTE (elphaba2 @ Nov 4 2009, 03:05 PM) Voices + baggy pants = airport attire Vibrator - batteries = pocket-ready Put the dang thing in your back pocket + wear a long top (it goes in bag until you get the airport + are out of parent's eyeshot, into bathroom goes voices, into pocket goes Dirty Horrible Unchristian Sex Toy). Once you're through security, pop it in your bag. Texas will never be the wiser. (note: this works as long as it's not like a foot long. Or made entirely of metal.) A massive massive quantity of things have crossed borders with me in this manner. We will not go into specifics. Bahaha, well, while this would normally work, it will most certainly not fit in my pockets. I can say that much. I guess I'm just going to be leaving the poor thing at home.  Sadday.
-------------------- Her dignity shone so bright like a light on a hill and she burned for me, no other man came near her flame. Bad country songs - the deafening twang of the rich white kid blues. You can own the strange, but the lights and glares will not make you real. |
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Nov 4 2009, 10:05 PM
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#9
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Lord of the Keys Group: Established Members Posts: 2,197 Joined: 1-October 04 From: Wonderful-smelling dwelling in French-Canada Member No.: 1,329 Gender: Female |
Bleh! Sucks. Have The Boy buy you a new one
You should ask, while you're goin' thru--for future reference. Doesn't have to be a big thing, just "Hey, have you ever found sex toys in people's bags? what do you do when THAT happens?" information plus an instant laugh for the security guard. plus izzik, I'm made hella uncomfortable by your *liking* that. don't you role-model me! don't you do it! I live a terrible, reckless, awesome, poorly-planned life ain't nobody should imitate. -------------------- can I kiss your dopamine? In a way I wonder if she's living in a magazine |
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Nov 4 2009, 10:12 PM
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#10
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I could have written a short novel by this point Group: Established Members Posts: 1,579 Joined: 4-August 08 Member No.: 12,759 Gender: Secret |
QUOTE (elphaba2 @ Nov 4 2009, 07:05 PM) plus izzik, I'm made hella uncomfortable by your *liking* that. don't you role-model me! don't you do it! I live a terrible, reckless, awesome, poorly-planned life ain't nobody should imitate. Awesome being the key-word? 
-------------------- Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust. You couldn’t be here if stars hadn’t exploded, because the elements - the carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, iron, all the things that matter for evolution and for life - weren’t created at the beginning of time. They were created in the nuclear furnaces of stars, and the only way for them to get into your body is if those stars were kind enough to explode. So, forget God. The stars died so that you could be here today. ~Lawrence Krauss
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Nov 4 2009, 10:35 PM
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#11
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I plug directly into my computer Group: Established Members Posts: 3,640 Joined: 18-November 04 From: Manchester Member No.: 1,488 Gender: Male |
I agree with Amy, the Boy should be so pleased that you flew all the way out to see him he buys new sex toys.
-------------------- QUOTE (Peter Griffin) Math, my dear boy, is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology. |
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Nov 4 2009, 10:50 PM
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#12
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 Flaps and spins on the spot Group: Established Members Posts: 2,651 Joined: 17-June 03 From: At the end of the road to nowhere.....literally! Member No.: 390 Gender: Female |
If he's worth flying all that way for why would you NEED a vibrator...he should be quite adequate
-------------------- Hope confidentally, do valiantly, wait patiently!
Rather light a candle than complain about the dark! Enjoy what you have and hope for what you lack Thoughts become things, choose the good ones[/center] [center]Carpe diem |
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Nov 5 2009, 01:33 AM
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#13
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 Transdimensional Traveler Group: Established Members Posts: 1,322 Joined: 20-August 04 From: Somewhere in the Æther Member No.: 1,244 Gender: Secret |
QUOTE (Pixiegoth @ Nov 4 2009, 05:50 PM) If he's worth flying all that way for why would you NEED a vibrator...he should be quite adequate Totally agree on this one... unless its for the plane ride... at which point I may have to wonder about what airline you are traveling on that allows such activity... because i may need to change airlines for future flights...
-------------------- It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion,
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, The hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning, It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. Jack of all trades, master of none, though offtimes better than master of one. Carpe Noctem, pro cras nos necemus Carpe Diem, pro hodie nos mutiamo |
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Nov 5 2009, 11:28 AM
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#14
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Wait for the uprising Group: Established Members Posts: 3,177 Joined: 7-April 05 From: In a cave in Scotland Member No.: 1,735 Gender: Female |
QUOTE (Pixiegoth @ Nov 4 2009, 11:50 PM) If he's worth flying all that way for why would you NEED a vibrator...he should be quite adequate Have some imagination!
-------------------- We are unraveling our navels so that we may ingest the sun. DARIA IZ GOOD ON TOAST TOAST IZ GOOD ON DARIA |
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Nov 5 2009, 11:46 AM
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#15
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I plug directly into my computer Group: Established Members Posts: 3,640 Joined: 18-November 04 From: Manchester Member No.: 1,488 Gender: Male |
Don't really have anything to add, other than this thread reminds me of this. (Maybe NSFW)
-------------------- QUOTE (Peter Griffin) Math, my dear boy, is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology. |
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Nov 5 2009, 02:46 PM
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#16
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Lord of the Keys Group: Established Members Posts: 2,197 Joined: 1-October 04 From: Wonderful-smelling dwelling in French-Canada Member No.: 1,329 Gender: Female |
I love you. That is amazing.
-------------------- can I kiss your dopamine? In a way I wonder if she's living in a magazine |
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Nov 5 2009, 03:58 PM
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#17
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 Candbrush Threepwood Group: Established Members Posts: 5,391 Joined: 28-May 03 From: Derby Member No.: 345 Gender: Female |
I thought of "Texas Annie" as well.
 I love The Wet Spots (that is a weird sentence if you don't know that it's the name of a band).Depending on what the vibrator in question looks like, you could possibly pass it off as a "neck massager." Like this bad boy, which is advertised as a neck massager but is so clearly meant to be used in a more southern location. I mean, come on. Are you not taking any checked luggage? That is where I would put it (without the batteries in it, of course). Failing that, I would probably tell The Boy to buy one. I am way too much of a chicken to try putting it in my pocket or my carry-on. -------------------- I love you in a way that is mystical and eternal and illegal in 20 states.
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Nov 5 2009, 04:09 PM
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#18
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I plug directly into my computer Group: Established Members Posts: 3,640 Joined: 18-November 04 From: Manchester Member No.: 1,488 Gender: Male |
Does anyone ever believe that that's a neck massager? I mean, there are some vibrators that you might be able to get away with that, but not something so obviously shaped, surely?
-------------------- QUOTE (Peter Griffin) Math, my dear boy, is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology. |
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Nov 5 2009, 07:24 PM
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#19
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If my woman were a fire... Group: Established Members Posts: 3,328 Joined: 14-November 04 From: hole-in-the-ground, Texas Member No.: 1,473 Gender: Female |
QUOTE (Daria @ Nov 5 2009, 05:28 AM) QUOTE (Pixiegoth @ Nov 4 2009, 11:50 PM) If he's worth flying all that way for why would you NEED a vibrator...he should be quite adequate Have some imagination! Hehe, exactly Daria. Sexually satisfying man + Sexually satisfying toy = Nothing but super-awesome satifsying orgasmic awesomeness of awesome, right? Ha, I'm half tempted to put a picture on here for the sake of reference, but i don't think I could pull off "neck massager" as it's about 10 inches long, bright glittery red, and has a whip attached to the end. Oh, and a jewled base. Very, very, extremely obviously not used on my neck. Also, James, I don't know if i told you the other day when you showed me that link, but I sent it to Michael after having told him about the predicament, and he was just as amused as I was.
-------------------- Her dignity shone so bright like a light on a hill and she burned for me, no other man came near her flame. Bad country songs - the deafening twang of the rich white kid blues. You can own the strange, but the lights and glares will not make you real. |
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Nov 5 2009, 10:34 PM
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#20
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I plug directly into my computer Group: Established Members Posts: 3,640 Joined: 18-November 04 From: Manchester Member No.: 1,488 Gender: Male |
QUOTE (voices_in_my_head @ Nov 5 2009, 07:24 PM) Also, James, I don't know if i told you the other day when you showed me that link, but I sent it to Michael after having told him about the predicament, and he was just as amused as I was. Glad he liked it
-------------------- QUOTE (Peter Griffin) Math, my dear boy, is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology. |
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Nov 6 2009, 01:43 AM
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#21
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 crazi Group: Established Members Posts: 4,010 Joined: 25-February 03 From: New Orleans Member No.: 20 Gender: Female |
My favorite thing about this thread has got to be that you titled it "airport security."
 I think it should be fine for you to bring your vibrator, but I would actually think it'd be better to put it in your checked bags. Dallas is a hub and there are a lot of connecting flights from there, so either way it probably wouldn't be an issue. There isn't really a way for them to know if you will be staying in Texas or flying somewhere else from there right after you pass through, and I doubt that they would demand to look at your ticket and then ID you because they had an inkling that you could be (GOD FORBID) carry a sex toy. So my conclusion is that carrying a sex toy shouldn't be an issue, people do it all the time. And I have never heard that it is illegal for you to possess one if you are under 18.
-------------------- Love is real.
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Nov 9 2009, 05:17 AM
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#22
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If my woman were a fire... Group: Established Members Posts: 3,328 Joined: 14-November 04 From: hole-in-the-ground, Texas Member No.: 1,473 Gender: Female |
The vibe stayed at home.
However, Elphaba, your super-secretive smuggling technique allowed me to bring a pack of cigarettes home. Scoooooooore! -------------------- Her dignity shone so bright like a light on a hill and she burned for me, no other man came near her flame. Bad country songs - the deafening twang of the rich white kid blues. You can own the strange, but the lights and glares will not make you real. |
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Nov 9 2009, 06:50 PM
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#23
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I plug directly into my computer Group: Established Members Posts: 3,640 Joined: 18-November 04 From: Manchester Member No.: 1,488 Gender: Male |
Aww, I was hoping you'd try it, in the name of SCIENCE!
-------------------- QUOTE (Peter Griffin) Math, my dear boy, is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology. |
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Nov 9 2009, 07:51 PM
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#24
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Lord of the Keys Group: Established Members Posts: 2,197 Joined: 1-October 04 From: Wonderful-smelling dwelling in French-Canada Member No.: 1,329 Gender: Female |
Stand back, I'm going to try DILDO!
-------------------- can I kiss your dopamine? In a way I wonder if she's living in a magazine |
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Nov 10 2009, 12:37 AM
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#25
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I plug directly into my computer Group: Established Members Posts: 3,640 Joined: 18-November 04 From: Manchester Member No.: 1,488 Gender: Male |
That made me laugh, a lot. Amy ftw.
-------------------- QUOTE (Peter Griffin) Math, my dear boy, is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology. |
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