 That time of year., Secret Santa time guys! |
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 Dec 8 2009, 01:07 AM
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#76
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  Group: Moderators Posts: 1,767 Joined: 9-June 03 From: North Carolina Member No.: 374 Gender: Male  |
QUOTE (Secret Santa @ Dec 7 2009, 04:35 PM)  Ho ho hell-O, Vic! I lost my elves. I don't know where I put them. For that matter, where are my glasses? I'm a mess. Given my current situation, can you elaborate a little on what is it you're hoping to find under your tree? Damn elves. Errr...you know, this was more entertaining watching other people do it. Now it's my turn and it's haaard. Pocket sized notebooks are good. Extra fine pens. Think Geek has several mini tools that look interesting. Now I feel sort of like a douche. Letters are good, too! I like reading things. I'd be happy with a story. Handmade something. Strong earth magnets? I'm trying to be specific so you don't have to spend time wondering just what to do. But then I get all confliklasdfj;lag;lhadfkgj;hdakg It really is the thought that counts, though. |
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Dec 8 2009, 03:46 AM
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#77
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 Worrying Group: Established Members Posts: 193 Joined: 29-November 07 From: North Pole Member No.: 6,228 Gender: Male |
Dear Sarah,
My elves have gone on strike demanding higher wages, so your gift may be a little bit late! Also, what animals do you prefer? Do you like cute things? How about Jewlrey? Any favourite Colours or patterns? Thank you, Santa -------------------- I see you when you're sleeping. I know when you're awake. I know when you've been bad or good, So be good for goodness sake! - Cthulhu |
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Dec 8 2009, 04:14 AM
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#78
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Worrying Group: Established Members Posts: 193 Joined: 29-November 07 From: North Pole Member No.: 6,228 Gender: Male |
Izzy,
Your gifts have been manufactured. Correctly I might add. However, there may be a small problem. You see the elves were on vacation a little while ago and some have seem to have got a rather nasty bug. A rather very bad one it is. My workforce of elves is being decimated! So I would exercise extreme caution when opening your package as your gifts may very well have been contaminated with the Ebola virus, however, don't worry about the Swine Flu. All the elves were vaccinated against it. You package has been handed over to our wrapping and distribution department. They are very fast. You will receive your present very soon. And by very I mean <insert diety of your choice> only knows. For now, be nice to your neighbors. -SS -------------------- I see you when you're sleeping. I know when you're awake. I know when you've been bad or good, So be good for goodness sake! - Cthulhu |
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Dec 8 2009, 06:41 PM
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#79
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Worrying Group: Established Members Posts: 193 Joined: 29-November 07 From: North Pole Member No.: 6,228 Gender: Male |
Dear Mr CheeseMoose,
You have not been forgotten, but I'm afraid those lazy elves have gotten their hands on some of santa's booze again and we're way behind schedule here at the north pole! I have beaten a few of them to set an example but at this rate your present won't be constructed until at least this weekend. As I normally offload most of my parcels to the wonderful royal mail service so I can finish early and go down the pub, there's a small chance your present won't arrive in time. Sorry! I'll do my best to ensure your prezzie reaches the wrapping/distribution dept ASAP. - Santa P.S. If you have any specific requests regarding the nature of your gift, now is the time to mention them! My data can be a little out of date sometimes. You're still into pokemon right? -------------------- I see you when you're sleeping. I know when you're awake. I know when you've been bad or good, So be good for goodness sake! - Cthulhu |
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Dec 8 2009, 06:53 PM
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#80
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 I plug directly into my computer Group: Established Members Posts: 3,640 Joined: 18-November 04 From: Manchester Member No.: 1,488 Gender: Male |
No worries Santa, it's all good. I have no specific requests, other than as I said before no sweet foods (including chocolate). Other than that I'm easy really.
-------------------- QUOTE (Peter Griffin) Math, my dear boy, is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology. |
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Dec 8 2009, 07:01 PM
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#81
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Worrying Group: Established Members Posts: 193 Joined: 29-November 07 From: North Pole Member No.: 6,228 Gender: Male |
Miss Elphaba's gifts have been purchased and will be posted to her shortly!
-------------------- I see you when you're sleeping. I know when you're awake. I know when you've been bad or good, So be good for goodness sake! - Cthulhu |
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Dec 8 2009, 07:57 PM
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#82
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 Candbrush Threepwood Group: Established Members Posts: 5,391 Joined: 28-May 03 From: Derby Member No.: 345 Gender: Female |
QUOTE (EvilSpoon @ Dec 7 2009, 10:03 PM) The best of the trio is yet to come  Be afraid, be very... Very, extremely, unfathomably afraid. Because the last one is terrifying, hilarious and just awful.Oh. Holy. God. You weren't lying. Ladies and gentlemen, I am now the proud owner of a penis mug, courtesy of one Mister Spoon. Note to self: hide that mug when the in-laws visit and want tea.Although, seriously, seeing my father-in-law's reaction to that thing would probably make my year. Oh, man. That mental image will keep me laughing all week. Thanks, Spoony! 
-------------------- I love you in a way that is mystical and eternal and illegal in 20 states.
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Dec 8 2009, 08:01 PM
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#83
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 I could have written a short novel by this point Group: Established Members Posts: 1,579 Joined: 4-August 08 Member No.: 12,759 Gender: Secret |
QUOTE (Secret Santa @ Dec 8 2009, 01:14 AM) You package has been handed over to our wrapping and distribution department. They are very fast. You will receive your present very soon. And by very I mean <insert diety of your choice> only knows. For now, be nice to your neighbors. -SS Hmm.. kinda early for guessing, but.. SpeakerfortheLost? *edit* Guess two is crazymat... QUOTE (crazymat @ Dec 1 2009, 06:19 PM) My gift may be a bit delayed as I'm stuck at home with flu at the moment  *edit* ...Or I'll just wait 'til it actually comes. 
-------------------- Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust. You couldn’t be here if stars hadn’t exploded, because the elements - the carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, iron, all the things that matter for evolution and for life - weren’t created at the beginning of time. They were created in the nuclear furnaces of stars, and the only way for them to get into your body is if those stars were kind enough to explode. So, forget God. The stars died so that you could be here today. ~Lawrence Krauss
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Dec 8 2009, 11:52 PM
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#84
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Group: Moderators Posts: 1,767 Joined: 9-June 03 From: North Carolina Member No.: 374 Gender: Male |
QUOTE (candice @ Dec 8 2009, 02:57 PM) QUOTE (EvilSpoon @ Dec 7 2009, 10:03 PM) The best of the trio is yet to come Be afraid, be very... Very, extremely, unfathomably afraid. Because the last one is terrifying, hilarious and just awful.Oh. Holy. God. You weren't lying. Ladies and gentlemen, I am now the proud owner of a penis mug, courtesy of one Mister Spoon. Note to self: hide that mug when the in-laws visit and want tea.Although, seriously, seeing my father-in-law's reaction to that thing would probably make my year. Oh, man. That mental image will keep me laughing all week. Thanks, Spoony! Do we get to see pictures?! |
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Dec 9 2009, 12:27 AM
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#85
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I could have written a short novel by this point Group: Established Members Posts: 1,579 Joined: 4-August 08 Member No.: 12,759 Gender: Secret |
*wonders if penis sippy-cups (for adults) have been created yet...*
-------------------- Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust. You couldn’t be here if stars hadn’t exploded, because the elements - the carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, iron, all the things that matter for evolution and for life - weren’t created at the beginning of time. They were created in the nuclear furnaces of stars, and the only way for them to get into your body is if those stars were kind enough to explode. So, forget God. The stars died so that you could be here today. ~Lawrence Krauss
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Dec 9 2009, 01:38 AM
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#86
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 Transdimensional Traveler Group: Established Members Posts: 1,322 Joined: 20-August 04 From: Somewhere in the Æther Member No.: 1,244 Gender: Secret |
QUOTE (Yannick @ Dec 8 2009, 07:27 PM) *wonders if penis sippy-cups (for adults) have been created yet...* Penis Sippy Cup -------------------- It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion,
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, The hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning, It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. Jack of all trades, master of none, though offtimes better than master of one. Carpe Noctem, pro cras nos necemus Carpe Diem, pro hodie nos mutiamo |
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Dec 9 2009, 01:56 AM
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#87
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I could have written a short novel by this point Group: Established Members Posts: 1,579 Joined: 4-August 08 Member No.: 12,759 Gender: Secret |
I was thinking more of something shaped like this, but instead of the thing you suck on, a cock coming out of it sort of like this (NSFW) to drink out of. A penis tattooed with barnyard animals, anyone?
-------------------- Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust. You couldn’t be here if stars hadn’t exploded, because the elements - the carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, iron, all the things that matter for evolution and for life - weren’t created at the beginning of time. They were created in the nuclear furnaces of stars, and the only way for them to get into your body is if those stars were kind enough to explode. So, forget God. The stars died so that you could be here today. ~Lawrence Krauss
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Dec 9 2009, 02:14 AM
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#88
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 If my woman were a fire... Group: Established Members Posts: 3,328 Joined: 14-November 04 From: hole-in-the-ground, Texas Member No.: 1,473 Gender: Female |
Cand, I had originally read that as "I am now the proud owner of a penis rug."
I can not decide whether I like my version or the correct one better. -------------------- Her dignity shone so bright like a light on a hill and she burned for me, no other man came near her flame. Bad country songs - the deafening twang of the rich white kid blues. You can own the strange, but the lights and glares will not make you real. |
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Dec 9 2009, 03:49 AM
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#89
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 living in your basement, eating your candy hearts Group: Established Members Posts: 3,418 Joined: 23-February 04 From: cloud cuckoo land Member No.: 959 Gender: Female |
QUOTE Dear Sarah, My elves have gone on strike demanding higher wages, so your gift may be a little bit late! Also, what animals do you prefer? Do you like cute things? How about Jewlrey? Any favourite Colours or patterns? Thank you, Santa Hey Santa! It's okay, I understand about lateness. I LOVE cute things. Seriously, if it's cute i'll probably be happy with it. Jewelry is great too. I've just started wearing more earrings since I now am not so lazy and change them every day. As far as animals I like lots of barnyard ones - sheep, pigs, cows - and other really cute ones like dogs and pandas and yeah pretty much anything. I love polka dots and plaid!  And the color purple.
-------------------- Being corrupted by candice since 2004
teal and orange is the way forward |
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Dec 9 2009, 08:12 AM
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#90
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Candbrush Threepwood Group: Established Members Posts: 5,391 Joined: 28-May 03 From: Derby Member No.: 345 Gender: Female |
QUOTE (voices_in_my_head @ Dec 9 2009, 02:14 AM) Cand, I had originally read that as "I am now the proud owner of a penis rug." That makes me think of latchhook porn rugs. Ooh, craft idea for next year's SS! I will take photos later today. It is, um, life sized. And the penis is the handle. -------------------- I love you in a way that is mystical and eternal and illegal in 20 states.
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Dec 9 2009, 12:15 PM
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#91
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 I've been brainwashed Group: Admin Posts: 4,120 Joined: 10-August 03 From: Cheshire Member No.: 526 Gender: Secret |
I have to say I really love doing this it's so much fun finding out what people get.
-------------------- How would you feel about life if Death was your older sister? You're only young once but you can stay immature indefinetly!!!!
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Dec 9 2009, 02:00 PM
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#92
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Worrying Group: Established Members Posts: 193 Joined: 29-November 07 From: North Pole Member No.: 6,228 Gender: Male |
Hobbes!
Your present was dispatched today. Sadly the recession means that we had to lay off the flying reindeer delivery dept, so it should arrive by post in the next few days. Ho Ho Ho Santa -------------------- I see you when you're sleeping. I know when you're awake. I know when you've been bad or good, So be good for goodness sake! - Cthulhu |
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Dec 9 2009, 07:54 PM
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#93
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Worrying Group: Established Members Posts: 193 Joined: 29-November 07 From: North Pole Member No.: 6,228 Gender: Male |
Dear, dear Pat,
Christmas is a busy season and the elves had slated today for your present's manufacture and shipping. Alas! An unexpected snowstorm has delayed a bit of our parcel sending. The elves are rescheduling for Friday, so hopefully your gift will not be *too* late. My sincere apologies. However, this is a good opportunity for more specific requests! We have a decent idea of what we might like to send you, but should you like to clarify now would be the perfect time to do so. My list says you've been very good this year so we would like to reward you! Thanks and ho-ho-hoppy holidays, Santa -------------------- I see you when you're sleeping. I know when you're awake. I know when you've been bad or good, So be good for goodness sake! - Cthulhu |
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Dec 9 2009, 07:59 PM
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#94
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Worrying Group: Established Members Posts: 193 Joined: 29-November 07 From: North Pole Member No.: 6,228 Gender: Male |
Spoony! Spoony Spoony Spoony, a gadget is winging it's way to you. Well, it will be when the elves wake up in the morning and go to the post office. Sometimes they're quite lazy really - you'd think that with eleven months off that they wouldn't mind getting down to work in December, but they really can be quite troublesome. They just sit there, preening their ears, staring at posters of Legolas.
-------------------- I see you when you're sleeping. I know when you're awake. I know when you've been bad or good, So be good for goodness sake! - Cthulhu |
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Dec 9 2009, 08:31 PM
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#95
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 dream to make believe Group: Established Members Posts: 2,522 Joined: 12-January 04 From: England Member No.: 863 Gender: Female |
QUOTE (candice @ Dec 8 2009, 07:57 PM) Although, seriously, seeing my father-in-law's reaction to that thing would probably make my year. Oh, man. That mental image will keep me laughing all week. Gargh!!!!! -------------------- |
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Dec 9 2009, 09:02 PM
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#96
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 Advice for the young at heart Group: Moderators Posts: 2,705 Joined: 26-February 03 From: Essex, UK Member No.: 33 Gender: Male |
QUOTE (Secret Santa @ Dec 9 2009, 02:00 PM) Hobbes! Your present was dispatched today. Sadly the recession means that we had to lay off the flying reindeer delivery dept, so it should arrive by post in the next few days. Ho Ho Ho Santa I'm excited
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Dec 9 2009, 11:39 PM
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#97
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Candbrush Threepwood Group: Established Members Posts: 5,391 Joined: 28-May 03 From: Derby Member No.: 345 Gender: Female |
-------------------- I love you in a way that is mystical and eternal and illegal in 20 states.
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Dec 10 2009, 06:38 AM
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#98
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 Daaaaaaaaaaaaaang Group: Established Members Posts: 1,197 Joined: 29-December 03 From: Wiggleton Member No.: 829 Gender: Female |
I'm extremely proud of that mug and the fact that none of my gifts had anything to do with each other
-------------------- If the world collapses and we find ourselves closer together I'm convinced it would be positive.
Potat, R.I.P. April 30, 2004 5:03 PM |
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Dec 10 2009, 07:33 PM
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#99
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Worrying Group: Established Members Posts: 193 Joined: 29-November 07 From: North Pole Member No.: 6,228 Gender: Male |
Howdily Ho Ho Ho.
Miss Snoo, Due to the bad economy I had to lay off some lazy elves, which resulted in slower production rates in my workshop this season. This being the case, I outsourced the manufacturing of a part of your present and that vendor apparently posts their products by actual snail. This being the case, I have sent the majority of your present today and will send the last part of your present to you at a later time when it arrives at my workshop. I think I have learned my lesson on outsourcing and will instead hire back some of the local elves. Yours truedoodely, Santa -------------------- I see you when you're sleeping. I know when you're awake. I know when you've been bad or good, So be good for goodness sake! - Cthulhu |
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Dec 10 2009, 09:56 PM
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#100
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 Kiefer > Jason Group: Admin Posts: 9,698 Joined: 26-February 03 From: UK Member No.: 51 Gender: Female |
Thank you Secret Santa (Moop? or Cand pretending to be Moop?) for my lovely new earrings. Here's another of me looking like a psycho in my lovely new earrings.
I was a bit startled and confused at first to get a package addressed to LoLo Cablowski at my PO Box from someone named Sabrina from Los Angeles, but then I saw the buyers name and it cleared it up. lol --------------------  Being Pimped By Aries Since 2003 |
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