 The Way Too Much Information Depository, Way, Way To Much Information!! |
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 Sep 19 2005, 08:08 PM
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#201
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 Wait for the uprising  Group: Established Members Posts: 3,177 Joined: 7-April 05 From: In a cave in Scotland Member No.: 1,735 Gender: Female  |
I had sex for the first time, in a field... Very drunk. Needless to say, there was grass in the bath when I had finished bathing the next day...
-------------------- We are unraveling our navels so that we may ingest the sun. DARIA IZ GOOD ON TOAST TOAST IZ GOOD ON DARIA |
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Sep 23 2005, 04:31 AM
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#202
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 Oh really? Group: Established Members Posts: 833 Joined: 13-June 05 From: The land down under. Member No.: 1,837 Gender: Male |
I had sex for the first time in the back of a wagon in a car sales yard! Almost got busted by the salesman aswell...
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Sep 23 2005, 10:28 AM
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#203
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 Flash Gordon Wannabe Group: Established Members Posts: 504 Joined: 31-August 05 Member No.: 1,984 Gender: Male |
currently sufferingfrom sweat rash on my testicles, arse and inner thighs
-------------------- I like your house... can I come in!
S P A N G L E D by Faerieryn what I do when I have too much time on my hands My Devart page |
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Sep 23 2005, 03:04 PM
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#204
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 My direction Group: Established Members Posts: 2,189 Joined: 30-July 03 Member No.: 495 Gender: Female |
QUOTE (candice @ Sep 19 2005, 12:53 AM) As many know, I camped in moop and snoo's garden for most of my stay in England. I had a nice little airbed in my tent to sleep on. I was going to give it away at the end of summer, but something tragic happened. The most explosive period of my life. I normally have an idea of when Aunt Flo is gonna visit, but no sir. Not that month. So I woke up around 3 AM, absolutely SOAKED from belly button to knees. I am not exagerrating here, it was an ordeal not getting anything on snoo's tent and getting into the house to change. My poor airbed was scarred for life. >.< Cand. That happened to me one New Year holiday, when we were staying with some friends up north. They have a son and a daughter, and the son was staying in his sister's room overnight. I had his bed. They replaced the mattress, the duvet and all the sheets before he would sleep in it again 
-------------------- Once opened consume within three days. Above post is not suitable for home freezing. Store in a cool, dry area. |
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Sep 29 2005, 05:27 PM
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#205
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 Shut up, noob! Group: Established Members Posts: 5,760 Joined: 7-June 03 From: The Dina, No Flo Member No.: 367 Gender: Male |
The last time I had sex I bit the chick's face. I was aiming for her shoulder but missed. She was also the worst lay ever. I thought my second partner (two and a half years before) was bad.
My ex and one of my best friends had sex in my shower while I was sleeping. This is creepy in about a million ways. Almost as disturbing was seeing the hickies on their necks. I vomit in the morning at least once every fortnight. I'm not sure why. -------------------- With every breath...and all that I am...I will make a stand...until the end. |
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Sep 29 2005, 06:15 PM
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#206
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 F*cking with the best since 1996 Group: Established Members Posts: 2,614 Joined: 24-February 04 From: Wiltshire. UK Member No.: 962 Gender: Female |
QUOTE I vomit in the morning at least once every fortnight. I'm not sure why. Perhaps you're pregnant? Or getting sympathy pangs for someone else who IS pregnant, Forever Unknown used to get all of my bad pregnancy stuff. *noddles* -------------------- Art should be an expression of what humanity is capable of imagining - not limited to representing that which surrounds us - Demetrios Vakras
funked)out_frog is my special Harem slave Harem count: Markslut, xkitsurabamix, Black - Wings, Candice, Moop, Daedalus, The Lorax, Franken - Sarah, Artemisia, Cath, Wyvern, Saucy Tara, PsychWardMike, JimiJimi, Fallen Element, Smiler, Korbin Dallas, laenan kite, Valerie, Faerieryn, trunk_girl26, Sir Psycho Sexy, Steam Roxxor, pgrmdave, monkey_called_narth |
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Sep 29 2005, 06:46 PM
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#207
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 Microwave your children Group: Established Members Posts: 1,082 Joined: 14-June 04 From: Hampshire, UK Member No.: 1,164 |
QUOTE (Snugglebum the Destroyer @ Sep 29 2005, 06:15 PM) QUOTE I vomit in the morning at least once every fortnight. I'm not sure why. Perhaps you're pregnant? Or getting sympathy pangs for someone else who IS pregnant, Forever Unknown used to get all of my bad pregnancy stuff. *noddles*  Yeah. It was a complete bitch, truth be told. Never get pregnant again! -------------------- Half Iago. Half Fu Manchu. All bastard.
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Sep 29 2005, 07:32 PM
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#208
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F*cking with the best since 1996 Group: Established Members Posts: 2,614 Joined: 24-February 04 From: Wiltshire. UK Member No.: 962 Gender: Female |
QUOTE Yeah. It was a complete bitch, truth be told. Never get pregnant again! Hey, it was a walkover for me.  On topic - when I was pregnant I used to get the most interesting vaginal discharge. Also, when my milk came in my boobs were so large and painful that my partner had to suck some milk out before I could even attempt to breast feed Kai. -------------------- Art should be an expression of what humanity is capable of imagining - not limited to representing that which surrounds us - Demetrios Vakras
funked)out_frog is my special Harem slave Harem count: Markslut, xkitsurabamix, Black - Wings, Candice, Moop, Daedalus, The Lorax, Franken - Sarah, Artemisia, Cath, Wyvern, Saucy Tara, PsychWardMike, JimiJimi, Fallen Element, Smiler, Korbin Dallas, laenan kite, Valerie, Faerieryn, trunk_girl26, Sir Psycho Sexy, Steam Roxxor, pgrmdave, monkey_called_narth |
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Sep 29 2005, 07:41 PM
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#209
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 Candbrush Threepwood Group: Established Members Posts: 5,391 Joined: 28-May 03 From: Derby Member No.: 345 Gender: Female |
QUOTE (Righteous @ Sep 29 2005, 10:27 AM) The last time I had sex I bit the chick's face. I was aiming for her shoulder but missed. She was also the worst lay ever. I bet she wasn't too thrilled either, considering the facebiting.  Anywaaaay....I have permanent scars from underwear. I have to be really careful about which type of underwear I buy, because if they have even a hint of exposed elastic...wham. Horrible itchy rash. Enough mistakes, over time, have resulted in scars. It's not pretty. I also find latex condoms cause the same reaction if having sex for an extended period of time whilst using them (we're talking hours here, if it's a regular amount of time, then it's fine)...only that's even MORE unpleasant. I think I may have finally run out of bodily fluid stories! 
-------------------- I love you in a way that is mystical and eternal and illegal in 20 states.
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Sep 29 2005, 09:34 PM
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#210
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Shut up, noob! Group: Established Members Posts: 5,760 Joined: 7-June 03 From: The Dina, No Flo Member No.: 367 Gender: Male |
Actually, Snuggs, I do have a pregnant friend, but she doesn't get morning sickness and I've been doing it long before she got pregnant (it's only begun happening within the last year or so). I will say, though, that I haven't had my period in a while...
My brother's girlfriend can only use one type of condom without breaking out in a power rash. The only place you can get those around here are my room because I raid the jar in the health clinic at my university. It's really annoying when I'll be reading or listening to music or something and he'll come in asking for one every few nights. I've had sex with others in the room. It wasn't like we were all out and about and then starting having sex, though. We'd be in my room under the covers and my brother would come in saying, "Yeah, dude, I need some of those condoms you have." My reply would be, "You know where they are," and well Bob's your uncle. -------------------- With every breath...and all that I am...I will make a stand...until the end. |
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Sep 29 2005, 09:55 PM
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#211
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 Confused. Very Very Confused. Group: Established Members Posts: 400 Joined: 10-February 04 Member No.: 941 |
Okay... I have once cum so much during a sex session that my boyfriend's mattress was drenched-- all the way through, and we were both looking like we'd been swimming.
Yay bodily fluid stories.
-------------------- In your misery
You're not alone So come share your tears with me And witness it all go wrong |
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Sep 29 2005, 10:34 PM
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#212
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Shut up, noob! Group: Established Members Posts: 5,760 Joined: 7-June 03 From: The Dina, No Flo Member No.: 367 Gender: Male |
That reminds me of my neighbor's kitchen floor and all the paper towels we went through...
-------------------- With every breath...and all that I am...I will make a stand...until the end. |
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Sep 29 2005, 10:38 PM
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#213
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 Perfection Personified Group: Established Members Posts: 1,128 Joined: 17-December 04 From: Land of the Wombles! Member No.: 1,548 Gender: Male |
QUOTE (Snugglebum the Destroyer @ Sep 29 2005, 08:32 PM) Also, when my milk came in my boobs were so large and painful that my partner had to suck some milk out before I could even attempt to breast feed Kai. Lucky bastard! *shakes fist* On an unrelated note, I just found a bug walking through my hair. It fell out when I combed it. I was distressed. I squished its brains out and felt better about the world. I don't like killing but NO ONE MESSES WITH MY HAIR! -------------------- "Too often Fate,
By all abhorred, To savage poison, Adds the sword" - Boethius, The Concillations of Philosophy |
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Sep 29 2005, 11:58 PM
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#214
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 I'm attracted by the potential for reckless abuse of power. Group: Established Members Posts: 2,683 Joined: 7-May 04 From: Viewtiful World Member No.: 1,105 Gender: Male |
*licks Calantyr's head*
I rubbed my butt on the full length mirrors in the changing room yesterday whilst I was jeans shopping! Tee hee! -------------------- I'm just a Viewtiful Girl living in a Viewtiful World.
Henshin a-go-go, baby. I swear to God, the above post was not intended to incite flame wars or to offend you. |
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Sep 30 2005, 05:14 AM
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#215
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 Meow! Group: Established Members Posts: 3,694 Joined: 17-September 04 From: The land of the fireant Member No.: 1,296 Gender: Secret |
Did anyone know you can get an infection from poison Ivy? I didn't either, until recently... blisters, rash, swelling - and a humongous bill for shots, doctor visits and medication.. not to mention, being on medication that puts me to sleep... all of which explains my recent absense... not fun...
-------------------- Arthur, Gwen, and Quoth...Onwards to 4000 posts!Quoth is Cath's noob - what was she thinking?:)Duckflaps!Watch out for low flying kittens!'Dance, Monkey, Dance!' Well, this monkey don't dance no more!Never say 'die'... except as a command! I adopted Insaneperc!What kind of fool do you take me for? I don't know. How many kinds are there?
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Sep 30 2005, 08:50 AM
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#216
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Perfection Personified Group: Established Members Posts: 1,128 Joined: 17-December 04 From: Land of the Wombles! Member No.: 1,548 Gender: Male |
QUOTE (Quoth(The Raven) @ Sep 30 2005, 06:14 AM) Did anyone know you can get an infection from poison Ivy? I didn't either, until recently... blisters, rash, swelling - and a humongous bill for shots, doctor visits and medication.. not to mention, being on medication that puts me to sleep... all of which explains my recent absense... not fun... Erm... that's why they call it poison ivy. It's harmful to humans.
-------------------- "Too often Fate,
By all abhorred, To savage poison, Adds the sword" - Boethius, The Concillations of Philosophy |
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Oct 1 2005, 12:09 AM
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#217
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Meow! Group: Established Members Posts: 3,694 Joined: 17-September 04 From: The land of the fireant Member No.: 1,296 Gender: Secret |
QUOTE (Calantyr @ Sep 30 2005, 03:50 AM) QUOTE (Quoth(The Raven) @ Sep 30 2005, 06:14 AM) Did anyone know you can get an infection from poison Ivy? I didn't either, until recently... blisters, rash, swelling - and a humongous bill for shots, doctor visits and medication.. not to mention, being on medication that puts me to sleep... all of which explains my recent absense... not fun... Erm... that's why they call it poison ivy. It's harmful to humans. Yeah, but usually, it's an inconvenience... itching, scratching, some calamine lotion, or somesuch... and time. That's if you don't get an infection, on top of the normal stuff... untreated, such an infection can become quite serious, or so I'm told... -------------------- Arthur, Gwen, and Quoth...Onwards to 4000 posts!Quoth is Cath's noob - what was she thinking?:)Duckflaps!Watch out for low flying kittens!'Dance, Monkey, Dance!' Well, this monkey don't dance no more!Never say 'die'... except as a command! I adopted Insaneperc!What kind of fool do you take me for? I don't know. How many kinds are there?
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Oct 3 2005, 05:48 PM
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#218
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 Dirty Laundry Group: Established Members Posts: 3,191 Joined: 7-January 05 From: By London Member No.: 1,573 Gender: Female |
Today I was blessed with my womanly-hood for the first time. Not fun.
-------------------- Emma <3 James <3
"Music is a moral law. It gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, a charm to sadness, gaiety and life to everything. It is the essence of order, and leads to all that is good, just and beautiful, of which it is the invisible, but nevertheless dazzling, passionate, and eternal form." - Plato |
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Oct 3 2005, 07:34 PM
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#219
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 I've been brainwashed Group: Admin Posts: 4,120 Joined: 10-August 03 From: Cheshire Member No.: 526 Gender: Secret |
Oh! you have so much fun to look forward to!
-------------------- How would you feel about life if Death was your older sister? You're only young once but you can stay immature indefinetly!!!!
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Oct 3 2005, 07:37 PM
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#220
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F*cking with the best since 1996 Group: Established Members Posts: 2,614 Joined: 24-February 04 From: Wiltshire. UK Member No.: 962 Gender: Female |
QUOTE (I_am_the_best @ Oct 3 2005, 06:48 PM) Today I was blessed with my womanly-hood for the first time. Not fun. Welcome to the next 50 years of your life!! Well, obviously not all the time because that'd really suck but I think you get what I mean. At least one of us should.
-------------------- Art should be an expression of what humanity is capable of imagining - not limited to representing that which surrounds us - Demetrios Vakras
funked)out_frog is my special Harem slave Harem count: Markslut, xkitsurabamix, Black - Wings, Candice, Moop, Daedalus, The Lorax, Franken - Sarah, Artemisia, Cath, Wyvern, Saucy Tara, PsychWardMike, JimiJimi, Fallen Element, Smiler, Korbin Dallas, laenan kite, Valerie, Faerieryn, trunk_girl26, Sir Psycho Sexy, Steam Roxxor, pgrmdave, monkey_called_narth |
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Oct 3 2005, 08:00 PM
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#221
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 Samauri Teapain Group: Established Members Posts: 2,172 Joined: 3-January 04 From: In a Cardboard box under my bed. Member No.: 844 Gender: Male |
First thought about 'entering womanhood' was someone got sex.
What Snugs then went on to say didn't change my first thought, I just thought every day for 50 years would be a bit tiresome. -------------------- @>-'--,--Cath and gothictheysay are my E-Teapotettes.@>-'--,--
Jaq and believe are my adopted Tea Spoons (wherever they are :'( ) "I am just a worthless liar, I am just an imbecile, I will only complicate you, trust in me and fall aswell." A proud Viking never stops masturbating. Taking over Matazone Forums since 2011. |
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Oct 3 2005, 08:19 PM
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#222
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F*cking with the best since 1996 Group: Established Members Posts: 2,614 Joined: 24-February 04 From: Wiltshire. UK Member No.: 962 Gender: Female |
QUOTE First thought about 'entering womanhood' was someone got sex. Believe it or not, having sex doesn't cement our womanhood. It's far more important things like suddenly pissing blood all over the show and having to strap ourselves into contraptions of chest torture on a daily basis.
-------------------- Art should be an expression of what humanity is capable of imagining - not limited to representing that which surrounds us - Demetrios Vakras
funked)out_frog is my special Harem slave Harem count: Markslut, xkitsurabamix, Black - Wings, Candice, Moop, Daedalus, The Lorax, Franken - Sarah, Artemisia, Cath, Wyvern, Saucy Tara, PsychWardMike, JimiJimi, Fallen Element, Smiler, Korbin Dallas, laenan kite, Valerie, Faerieryn, trunk_girl26, Sir Psycho Sexy, Steam Roxxor, pgrmdave, monkey_called_narth |
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Oct 4 2005, 07:24 AM
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#223
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Shut up, noob! Group: Established Members Posts: 5,760 Joined: 7-June 03 From: The Dina, No Flo Member No.: 367 Gender: Male |
Some friends and I had an in-depth discussion about the hazards that come with having testicles. This includes partially sitting on them if you're not careful and scratching them when you think no one is looking. This eventually degenerated into stories about being hit in the balls.
-------------------- With every breath...and all that I am...I will make a stand...until the end. |
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 Oct 18 2005, 05:08 PM
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#224
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 omno-ahhhhhhh! Group: Established Members Posts: 2,124 Joined: 20-June 04 From: London, England. Member No.: 1,174 Gender: Secret |
QUOTE (PsychWardMike @ Sep 30 2005, 12:58 AM) I rubbed my butt on the full length mirrors in the changing room yesterday whilst I was jeans shopping! Tee hee! PWM, I gots <3 for you for doing that, hun  Okies, I have rather thick toe nails. Infact the nails on my big toes are 1mm thick. I measured. Sunday night I was giving the old nails a clip with a bog standard nail clipper, and the lever part snapped under the strain of trying to clip through my left foot's big toe nail. Oh baby, oh baby!-You all know you want me hardcore  *shakes it* -------------------- A society that takes itself too seriously risks bottling up its tensions and treating every example of irreverence as a threat to its existence. Humour is one of the great solvents of democracy. It permits the ambiguities and contradictions of public life to be articulated in non-violent forms. It promotes diversity. It enables a multitude of discontents to be expressed in a myriad of spontaneous ways. It is an elixir of constitutional health. J. Sachs in Laugh It Off Promotions CC v SAB International (Finance) BV t/a SabMark International (Freedom of Expression Institute as Amicus Curiae) 2006 (1) SA 144 (CC)
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Oct 18 2005, 07:28 PM
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#225
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Shut up, noob! Group: Established Members Posts: 5,760 Joined: 7-June 03 From: The Dina, No Flo Member No.: 367 Gender: Male |
I came home last night after hanging out with some cats, including the girlfriend. I took my shirt off and immediately heard, "Oh, my GOD!" The guys then pointed out that I had a bunch of gnarly bite and hicky marks all over my neck and shoulders. I woke up this morning and they hurt. This means that for a very long time, I may not be able to wear wifebeaters of go shirtless.
-------------------- With every breath...and all that I am...I will make a stand...until the end. |
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