I'm Writing A Screenplay, It's gonna be awesome Options

[Righteous]

I've had a week from Hell (long story). It's reached a point where I have two choices: Let it all get to me and go completely insane, or deal with it in a positive, constructive manner. I decided on the latter. I'm writing a screenplay for a movie that my friends and I are going to make. I don't have a name for it yet, but I do have a nice, basic premise. It's about a guy in his early twenties named J.D. In the timeframe of twenty-four hours, he hets the crap kicked out of him by his girlfriend's exboyfriend, loses his job, gets dumped by his girlfriend for said fight (and goes back out with the exboyfriend), his best friend who befriended his girlfriend turns on him because of the breakup then when he thinks it can't get any worse, his exfiance gets into a three-way at a party with the town gooff*ck and a random walking STD machine. This drives J.D. over the edge. Now his brither Chad and his friends Matt and Dave have to help get him out of his funk by building a mini ramp. And of course there's plenty of humor, stunts and crazy shenanigans. I've been very influenced by the film stylings of Kevin Smith and Bam Margera, which would make the flick a nice mix of conversational and physical humor. Now it's based off of fact, but it's been stretched to make the film more entertaining. Like, my exgirlfriend didn't get into a three-way with the town gooff*ck and a random walking STD machine and it wouldn't make a good movie if a guy got jealous over his exgirlfriend making out at a party with her goofy-ass boyfriend and this chick we know. And I didn't get my ass kicked by my girlfriend's exboyfriend (I don't have a girlfriend) and my best friend didn't dump me because of said nonexistant girlfriend. Still, though, with my imagination and and my friends as co-writers, it should turn out to be some funny entertainment. I plan to show it in Five Points in downtown Jacksonville (Florida, USA) and the old post office in Fernandina Beach (Florida, USA). Hopefully, maybe, if it does good in Jax and Fernandia, I might be able to take it to a film festival and get some exposure. Who knows, you know?

[Sun Tsu]

Yeah, this could go places, it sounds quite interesting. Good luck with it.

[cheese is funny]

sounds like great stuff, righteous. i look foward to seeing it someday

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

I dunno man, you've got two conflicting story lines here, on one hand you got all the drama violence and sex and then it just seems like you're gonna turn it into jackass/cky, for that to work the drama bit's gotta be very tounge in cheek, i dunno, but from how you described it i can't see it working very well

[SteelWingedCheru...]

I like the sound of it
Hope it goes well, good luck with it!

[MistressAlti]

You have an ex-girlfriend and an ex-fiancee in this story? Isn't that a bit confusing?

[LoLo]

Good luck with this righteous. I think your biggest problem is going to be overcoming it being to similar to other things that have already been created. Just the 24 hour, taking place in a like 5 diff places, sounds a lot like the series 24, and the stunts sound a bit Jack Assish.

Other than that I think it sounds interesting and I wish you the best of luck at making it work.

[Righteous]

You have an ex-girlfriend and an ex-fiancee in this story? Isn't that a bit confusing?

I'm scratching the exfiancé thing ('cause that'd be a-whole-nother story in and of itself), but keeping the three-way (as more of a sub-plot). The girlfriend (Ellie, her name is) who break up with him will also stay. All of this is to further illustrate his jealous nature and his inability to accept change which will be dealt with in the film, each situation seperatly and in it's own way. Basically, it'll be dealt with by J.D. like this: Ellie slightly, three-way majorly, Ellie slightly, three-way majorly, Ellie majorly consider this a rough, though).

The film starts out after J.D. gets dumped by his girlfriend and his best friend. What happened in the past 18 or so hours is explained to Chad verbally (except for the hilarious scenes in which J.D. has the crap kicked out of him, which are quick flashbacks).

The stunts in the film are stunts the guys and I have come up with over the years and we've been hurting ourselves long before Jackass came out (drain surfing...Good times, good times). Unlike CKY, it's not the bigness of the stunts that makes them funny; it's the suddenness, camera angles and level of painfulness (and consider the fact that the guys I'm working with can make ANYTHING funny, even slightly trivial, semi-minute injuries).

Believe me when I say I've taken the delicate balance between drama and comedy into very serious consideration, but I think the level of seriousness conflicting with the humor (in the right light, of course) would make it even more funny.

[monkey_called_na...]

yay, go x-hubby! woot! i hope you have alot of fun making your film and i hope it turns out really well.... i will be expecting a copy.......hehehe

[Righteous]

I've been doing some mad writing lately. I had a log talk with Harmonie and turned it into a whole scene in the flick. I've also been throwing together a good number of random scenage and compiling insults and other commpnly-used slang terms from my brother Rick (who in an alcohol-induced moment of hilarity invented the insult, "Jerkass"). The only problem I have is that I want to be true to my characters and my friends whom I am portraying, but a lot of folks who've read my scenes have said that there's too much vulgarity. I know I swear a lot and so do my friends, but does swearing add to, take away from or have no effect either way on the entertainment value of a film?

[acidteardrop]

this depends. too much swearing makes you sound stupid. a little bit is natural. and none is conspicuous.

i think you may have some sort of twistedly good movie here. me personally i am working on a detective movie that was supposed to have been released in october (were behind because i moved). its sort of a mysterie/comedy
at teh same time with the same studio i am working on a ninja movie. this is more of an action/comedy.
i think they both kinda suck atm, but my "freind" (i use the term very loosely) has some very nice video editing equipment.

get ready for some low-budget fun!

[Righteous]

Well, consider this, Acid: Have you ever seen a Kevin Smith flick? He weaves an intricate web of vulgarities throughout his films and they're utterly hilarious (watch Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back in that order). Here's a sample from my first draft which my English teacher and some random in my class thought was too vulgar. Note to mods: I'm leaving the script uncut, so please ignore and I'll give you a cookie (no, but seriously, don't cut it)

Chad: You need to get over this slut-bag. Dude, you know she only kept you around 'cuz she loves the cock. She banged like thirty plus guys before you and cheated on you like twelve times, prolly more.

J.D.: It wasn't "like twelve times."

Chad: Dude, she's a ruthless bitch. Remember that party we had where you were hitting that beer funnel when Ellie came up and talked to me?

J.D.: So? I talk to Candy all the time.

Chad: Yeah, but she doesn't invite you to your own brother's room for some bedroom bam-bam, least I hope she doesn't.

J.D.: How the hell come you never told me about it?

Chad: I did, after the party.

J.D.: Dude, I was plastered off my ass. How the shit did you think I'd understand what you were telling me?

(phone rings; J.D. picks up)

J.D: Hello?

Rob: J.D.?

J.D.: Hey, Rob.

Rob: Hey man, I got something I need to tell you and, uh...it's not good.

J.D.: Considering the day I've had, nothing could bring me down further.

Rob: Well, you know that girl Chastity you dated?

J.D.: I went out with her for over a year. Of course I do.

Rob: Well, she's dating Collin now.

J.D.: Collin? The town gooffuck?

Rob: Yeah.

J.D.: For chrissake, she breaks up with me to date Collin's goofy ass. WHat the hell does that say about me?

Rob: Uh, dude. There's more.

J.D.: More? Whadaya mean more?

Rob: Well, I was at this party and some of the people there were playing "Truth or Dare" and Chastity and Collin were dared to mess around with this chick...

J.D.: What chick?

Rob: I dunno. Some random. Anyway, they were really getting into it and well...

J.D.: Well what? Just spit it out.

Rob: Well...they went into an upstairs bedroom and had a three-way.

J.D: They did WHAT?

Rob:...They had a three-way.

Then J.D. runs out of the house and CHad follows and pulls out in front of him and J.D. hits the car. J.D. then tells CHad and then onto scene two. I just wanted to see if anyone thought this piece was too vulgar. I don't think it is. WHat do you guys think?

[miss_spunk]

well, you know something, as a sort of balance, you can make one guy who swears quite a bit, and one a lot less... or something as such

But yeah that's pretty cool, it sounds like a really cool movie, something I'd watch.

I'm writing a play at the moment. I've put in a bid to write the next house play for our school. Its the first time I've ever written a play, I normally write poems and short stories (or ones that just never finish) and it's quite weird...

Aysha xxx

[Righteous]

The thing is my friends and I swear a lot. It's evident in my postings. We're quite vulgar and offensive and I'm portraying that. According to writer/director/actor/producer Kevin Smith, a writer creates his ideal world (in his, people pick apart pop culture and talk in monologues). In mine, people swear often and get away with it and are brought out of their problems by loyal friends. Ah, well. I figure so long as I'm use roughly the same amount of vulgarity as Smith or writer/director/actor/producer/pro skater Bam Margera (less than Smith and perhaps more than Margera) I should be fine.

I once wrote a two act play for the Young Playwrites of Florida comp and recieved honorable mentions (go me!). My play was about a band on a road trip to New York to perform in a four-way battle of the bands. It kicked ass.

[Righteous]

I decided to dedicate the film to the memory od Dayan/ If I could get his last name, DOB and DOD, it'd be helpful