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> Spamwhores Anonymous, Our arms are wide open! (kthx)
Polocrunch
post Oct 13 2004, 06:52 PM
Post #1


Has gone untreated for blurriness since 1986
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Forumites! Are you suffering as closet Spamwhores? Do you wonder if sometimes you might be spamming Matazone to hell? Do you need help identifying the symptons? Or do you perhaps need help escaping from the sleazy world of Spam?

Well, Matazone is here to help! Simply sign yourself up and our expert team of Spam-doctors, trained by the best at the Anti-Spam Academy (also known as the Relevant Posters' Association), will offer you professional help and advice on recovering from this debilitating affliction.

Having trouble telling whether you're a spamwhore or not? Here are some of the symptons:

1) Starting inane threads about Jesus
2) Starting inane threads about a single link
3) Starting inane threads about your day
4) Starting inane threads about NOTHING AT ALL
5) Ending sentences in:
i) "lol"
ii) "kthxbi"
iii) "!!!11!!!!1111"
iv) Anything associated with 1337, Netspeak or txtspk.
6) Starting sentences in lower-case (unless consistent and stylistic, in which case you are interesting and cool and you'd better have a damned good website attached to justify yourself)
7) Starting sentences with "omg"
8) Starting posts with "omg"
9) Starting threads with "omg"
10) Actually, starting anything with "omg"
11) Insulting other posters in an uncivilised, witless way. If you were funny, it would kinda be acceptable
12) Not sticking to the subject of the thread in any forum but Daft (and even then it's iffy)
13) Not sticking to forum conventions of typing and language
14) Not sticking to forum conventions of basic syntax
15) Getting on my tits generally

Please post other suggestions for symptons, guys. We can't help these people enough!
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Spacehappy
post Oct 13 2004, 06:57 PM
Post #2


Matazone acolyte
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I would like to say im guilty of...

12) Not sticking to the subject of the thread in any forum but Daft (and even then it's iffy)
13) Not sticking to forum conventions of typing and language
14) Not sticking to forum conventions of basic syntax
15) Getting on my tits generally

Possibly guilty of ...
10) starting anything with "omg"
11) Insulting other posters in an uncivilised, witless way.

Definatly guilty of ..

2) Starting inane threads about a single link
15) Getting on my tits generally

Lol smile.gif
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CommieBastard
post Oct 13 2004, 06:58 PM
Post #3


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Surgeon General's Warning

Spamming can lead to severe smackdowns from moderators, including loss of your right to post. Remember, friends don't let friends spam.

I'm CommieBastard, and I approved this message.


--------------------
Every sort of expert knowledge and every inquiry, and similarly every action and undertaking, seems to seek some good. Because of that, people are right to affirm that the good is 'that which all things seek'...
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Polocrunch
post Oct 13 2004, 06:59 PM
Post #4


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Space, don't worry. You've taken the first bold step on the road to recovery by admitting that you have a problem.

Fortunately, your 'symptons' are fairly mild. We should have you back up to normal posting standards in no time at all. But you should see some of the more serious cases the Association gets. Sheesh...
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Mutilation
post Oct 13 2004, 07:21 PM
Post #5


Speed of Life
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iii) "!!!11!!!!1111"
iv) Anything associated with 1337
11) Insulting other posters in an uncivilised, witless way.

Why? Banana.
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gothictheysay
post Oct 13 2004, 07:34 PM
Post #6


living in your basement, eating your candy hearts
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Well, at least 6 and 12... I've never been told personally to stop spamming, but I used to, a horrific amount of spam too. I daresay I'm getting better at not posting it, but I needed this organization when I was new here. Psh on your late start. tongue.gif


--------------------
Being corrupted by candice since 2004
teal and orange is the way forward
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laenan kite
post Oct 14 2004, 07:58 AM
Post #7


You can't understand...
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omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!
i do tht!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111!!!!!!!!!
lol


--------------------
In the end, only kindness matters.

And I dont wanna fall in love; this world is always gonna break your heart.
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laenan kite
post Oct 14 2004, 08:00 AM
Post #8


You can't understand...
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dry.gif ok so maybe i need some help..........


--------------------
In the end, only kindness matters.

And I dont wanna fall in love; this world is always gonna break your heart.
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El Nino
post Oct 14 2004, 09:26 AM
Post #9


I pull the wings off god
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Polocrunch, how can we know if we're "Getting on your tits generally"?

And I haven't even got a clue what no. 5 is about


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Please try to remember, when reading my posts, that I've probably not watched the same films & tv shows as you. I try not to watch music vids & I've also probably not even heard about them from other people. Man to woman "If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong!"/She's all lips & hips, she knows how to use them to make you flip//Liquor store & gun store, next to one another, with only one purpose, so you all kill each other,//Member of the pro cath association // Froggys' sugar-e-daddy//You can't spell politics without tics/[b]/Note to self: Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations = human stupidity.Dip me in chocolate and throw me to the females (not shemales).
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Snugglebum the D...
post Oct 14 2004, 09:40 AM
Post #10


F*cking with the best since 1996
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QUOTE
Polocrunch, how can we know if we're "Getting on your tits generally"?


You'll know. Polo's pretty vocal about that sort of thing. wink.gif tongue.gif


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Art should be an expression of what humanity is capable of imagining - not limited to representing that which surrounds us - Demetrios Vakras
funked)out_frog is my special Harem slave
Harem count: Markslut, xkitsurabamix, Black - Wings, Candice, Moop, Daedalus, The Lorax, Franken - Sarah, Artemisia, Cath, Wyvern, Saucy Tara, PsychWardMike, JimiJimi, Fallen Element, Smiler, Korbin Dallas, laenan kite, Valerie, Faerieryn, trunk_girl26, Sir Psycho Sexy, Steam Roxxor, pgrmdave, monkey_called_narth
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Polocrunch
post Oct 14 2004, 05:00 PM
Post #11


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Yeah. I'll probably start a thread about how big your dick is or something along those lines.
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Cath Sparrow
post Oct 14 2004, 05:10 PM
Post #12


I've been brainwashed
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Right I admit to being guilt of number 2) Starting inane threads about a single link. If this is a problem maybe we should get a pinned link posting thread. The reason I do it is cause there isn't anywhere to post links I want to show and it'll also mean it'll be less like that they get duplicated to.


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How would you feel about life if Death was your older sister? You're only young once but you can stay immature indefinetly!!!!



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Polocrunch
post Oct 14 2004, 05:12 PM
Post #13


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That sounds like a very fine idea, Cath. Perhaps it could be posted in Daft? Media might be a little too high-brow for some of the stuff we link to.
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CommieBastard
post Oct 14 2004, 05:26 PM
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Your wish, my command...


--------------------
Every sort of expert knowledge and every inquiry, and similarly every action and undertaking, seems to seek some good. Because of that, people are right to affirm that the good is 'that which all things seek'...
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Cath Sparrow
post Oct 14 2004, 05:29 PM
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I've been brainwashed
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Why thank you Kind sir's. tongue.gif


--------------------
How would you feel about life if Death was your older sister? You're only young once but you can stay immature indefinetly!!!!



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Polocrunch
post Oct 14 2004, 05:36 PM
Post #16


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QUOTE (Cath @ Oct 14 2004, 05:29 PM)
Why thank you Kind sir's. tongue.gif
*


Your little grammatical mistake reminds me of a thread I saw a couple of months ago. Here it is.

Take a good look at that if you ever have problems with spelling or grammar; the writer is a mod on one of the busiest forums on the Internet (NationStates), so he knows what he's talking about.
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Cath Sparrow
post Oct 14 2004, 05:39 PM
Post #17


I've been brainwashed
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You know you Dyslexic 4 year old that would be me! mad.gif I've enough trouble getting the spelling right with out trying to sort out the grammar to! dry.gif


--------------------
How would you feel about life if Death was your older sister? You're only young once but you can stay immature indefinetly!!!!



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Polocrunch
post Oct 14 2004, 05:44 PM
Post #18


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Thanks for sharing, Cath. Now would you stop hogging the counsellor's attention and let someone else speak?

tongue.gif
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gothictheysay
post Oct 15 2004, 12:19 AM
Post #19


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I spy a subserviant Commie! Yay!

Another symptom is a post of a few words and that's it. Like this post without this part. That's really spammy. Spammy spammy spammy. Bad.

By the way, what's a sympton? blink.gif


--------------------
Being corrupted by candice since 2004
teal and orange is the way forward
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DoRmAnt
post Oct 15 2004, 04:36 PM
Post #20


envision
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You should add one symptom.

"If you post multiple times in a row in the same thread."


Even if the spamwhore wishes to fix a statement they had made, they should know to use EDIT by now.


--------------------
you know you want to own me...oh wait! you can't! HA! my master is The Tortured Soul
>>>>FOREVER IN MY HEART CLAY>>>>r.i.p. january 28, 1984 - april 8, 2004
@}----
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Polocrunch
post Oct 15 2004, 05:03 PM
Post #21


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QUOTE (gothictheysay @ Oct 15 2004, 12:19 AM)
I spy a subserviant Commie! Yay!

Another symptom is a post of a few words and that's it. Like this post without this part. That's really spammy. Spammy spammy spammy. Bad.

By the way, what's a sympton? blink.gif
*


An indicator or a sign of something else. So if your sinuses swelled up and you got a cough, you'd be experiencing some of the symptoms of the common cold. Equally, a sudden drop in temperature might be a symptom of a hurricane (I just made that up; don't quote me in meteorology class on that one), or a general lack of respect for authority might be a symptom of a society's decay.
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CommieBastard
post Oct 15 2004, 07:02 PM
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Alex, it's "symptom". Your bad spelling is being called out.


--------------------
Every sort of expert knowledge and every inquiry, and similarly every action and undertaking, seems to seek some good. Because of that, people are right to affirm that the good is 'that which all things seek'...
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The.Wheezing.Gho...
post Oct 15 2004, 09:45 PM
Post #23


Sex can wait...MASTURBATE
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I'm The Wheezing Ghost...but sometimes I refer to myself as wheezy G to sound cool...SEE THATS SPAM AGAIN!!!! *sobs* I've nearly spammed my way to three thousand...I'm guilty of the following...


7) Starting sentences with "omg"
8) Starting posts with "omg"
12) Not sticking to the subject of the thread in any forum but Daft (and even then it's iffy)

*bows head in shame*


--------------------
Wyatt: Gary, by the way, why are we wearing bras on our heads?
Gary: Ceremonial.
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Polocrunch
post Oct 16 2004, 08:29 AM
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QUOTE (CommieBastard @ Oct 15 2004, 07:02 PM)
Alex, it's "symptom". Your bad spelling is being called out.
*


*Falls on sword*
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JimiJimi
post Oct 17 2004, 11:34 AM
Post #25


I'm afraid I'm back.
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I've got it! I don't know if this has been done before, but how about a post where people get all the spam out of their system?

And increase their post count...

Huzzah!


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