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> Just Complaining
acid_rain_child
post Nov 21 2004, 01:29 AM
Post #1


Vive y Deja Vivir
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It's exceedingly unsafe to have a diary in my house, and I can't write one on the web, but I feel like I need to write something about... things before I explode.

I'm starting to seriously doubt my potential as a person and a student, and the worth of education. I've always been one to stand up for schooling and education while others complained about it. More than that, I've always strived to be a good student, no matter what else was happening in my life, because I thought that sort of thing was important, while, again, others complained about it. For 10 long years of my life, I've excelled and pushed my limits, really, to impress my parents and if anything, to make things a little smoother at home. I've never questioned it, I've never looked out of that box.

But Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday of this week I skipped school, and upon coming back (on Friday) I had a totally new outlook on life and what the hell I was doing with it. The 3 days I skipped (I've been skipping an awful lot lately, but only single days, never 3 in a row) too much happened to mention, and I will only say that there was a lot of pot, a lot of mooning and flashing, and a lot of Taco Bell. On Friday, I had to go to school completely burnt out of my mind (anyone who's ever been a pothead knows what I'm talking about) and bombarded with 3 days of missed school work.

In my tired haze I looked around my halls and in my classes, and saw kids that come to school every day. They do their work everyday. Not too long ago I used to be like that but now I don't understand it at all. Hell, I never want to go back to school again! What a complete waste of time. I could be out doing whatever the hell I want with whoever the hell I want, but instead I force myself to sit through 6 hours of mind numbingly boring and useless crap that the Baltimore County Board of Education finds important?! WHAT AM I DOING?! I must be insane. And all those kids that come to school everyday and never question it must be insane too.

But then again, I know that going to college it probably important, in order to get a job that supports me. On the other hand, tons of people drop out, get their GED later and lead happy lives. But would doing that make me just like the slackers in my life that seem so grotesque to me in their arrogance and lathargy? Would dropping out, or just finishing high school with a 2.0 GPA make me happy if I could still support myself? Would going to college make me happy? And in the mean time, why the f*** should I go to school? I'm not afraid to just leave until they call my parents.

I'm very confused as to what I should do and what would make me happy. Unfortunately, every single one of my friends looks at me like I'm crazy when I mention dropping out, because "You're so smart! You can't drop out! You're the only one of us that stands a chance, dammit!" They're allowed to feel like I do right now, but because I'm smart I can't? That hardly seems fair. Though, I do feel much better that I was able to let all this out.


--------------------
"As life gets longer, awful feels softer,
Well it feels pretty soft to me.
And if it takes sh*t to make bliss,
Well I feel pretty blissfully."
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Tarantio
post Nov 21 2004, 01:44 AM
Post #2


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well I cant say I've had a very unique experience that I can relate to your own predicament, but then neither really can anyone, sinse we all go through that sort of thing in school. But I can speak as someone who went there and came out the other side already, and as such I say stick with it. You may hate it at the time, but believe me, drop out and you'll end up regretting it for the rest of your life. Most days I wonder what might have happened if I had actually stuck around to finish sixth year, or not skipped half of fifth, and I wonder if maybe I could have almost finished uni by now instead of only just starting it or something like that... But that's just all daft stuff. The main point is that it'll almost always make you regret it. You do a lot of things in school that you'll never (or rarely) get the chance to do again for the rest of your life. I know how tempting it can be to just fob off and do your own thing (I went through a phase in primary seven where I was in for only one or two days a week, if at all, thanks to Theme Park. Not quite pot sessions, but it sure was addictive all the same), but then when you think about it, you're doing your own thing in school as well, especially when you get into the later stages and the good teachers actually start treating you like a human being. There are a lot of things to be said for a good - or even just an average - set of grades as well...

But my main, killer, point: university is not to be missed. At any cost, get there. You'll have the time of your life, and the stuff you learn is amazing. And you dont even have to follow some stupid state-defined curriculum. You choose what you want to learn, and then you learn it how you want to. Lectures dont take up that much time, and studying can be annoying, but if you do it constantly then it just sort of fades into the background, and needn't be a huge chunk out of your life. And at the end of it, people will be begging for you to work for them. Plus there are more stoners in uni than anywhere in the world, so if thats how you get your kicks, then there's no better place on earth.

So yeah, I say stick with it, and no regrets wink.gif


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When, will I, will I be famous?

I CAN'T ANSWER THAT, I CAN'T ANSWER THAT.

-Tara and DACE sing is available from DACETRON ltd.
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artist.unknown
post Nov 21 2004, 04:47 AM
Post #3


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I'm a top student as well, but lately some classes have become so mind-numbing, on top of insanity in life itself, and it makes me wonder why I put so much pressure on myself. In the end, the grade I get on a maths test means very little. I'm not going to remember how I did on that test ten years from now, and it makes no difference in the cosmic scheme of things. And there's so much crap that goes on in the world, and to people, and in life in geeral, that after I while it does seem a little silly to structure years of your life around something that can feel so meaningless. But I haven't let up, because I really do love learning when it comes down to it, and I want to get into a good college. The whole process seems ridiculous and sometimes math class feels like a waste of my life, but it'll pay off later. When you come down to it, a lot of human routines could be contrued as pointless wastes of time--anything that's not eating, or sleeping, or making it possible to do those--so education is just another thing that's a part of what we've defined as life.


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-Grammar Nazi-quotes of the yesterday
It is only in his work that an artist can find reality and satisfaction, for the actual world is less intense than the world of his invention and consequently his life, without recourse to violent disorder, does not seem very substantial. -Tennessee Williams
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Tarantio
post Nov 21 2004, 01:16 PM
Post #4


NyanNyanNyan
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QUOTE (artist.unknown @ Nov 21 2004, 04:47 AM)
In the end, the grade I get on a maths test means very little. I'm not going to remember how I did on that test ten years from now, and it makes no difference in the cosmic scheme of things... The whole process seems ridiculous and sometimes math class feels like a waste of my life, but it'll pay off later.
*


Actually a classmate of mine and I have come up with a theory that everything comes back to Maths. We're working on proving it right now. So don't believe that you wont need it for a second. I thought I had given it up three years ago, and now here I am knee deep in calculus and formulae and physical maths...


--------------------
When, will I, will I be famous?

I CAN'T ANSWER THAT, I CAN'T ANSWER THAT.

-Tara and DACE sing is available from DACETRON ltd.
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Feyliya
post Nov 21 2004, 06:01 PM
Post #5


It's not junk in the trunk, it's precious cargo.
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I went through almost the same exact experience, only for the most part it was induced by illness, not good times. I always wondered how the bottom-scrapers could just let themselves slide all the way out of high school and into the world. Well, I don't have to wonder anymore. I did it myself my last two years of school. I was their top student, second highest SAT and highest ACT scorer in the school (very important American tests) and the most likely to go out into college and succeed, and yet they still let me slip through the cracks. I was so confused how it could be happening. Then it just hit me one day why it all was possible. The teachers didn't care, and neither did the students. Low pay, low expectations, low quality of life, and low graduating percentages made them all stop caring.

In the end, I pulled through high school. I even tried college for a semester, but I was too sick to stay. But I'm thankful for those few years of illness and bottom-sliding. They made me realize that life is too short to spend it alone with your books; miserable, constantly trying to make others happy with your work. If it weren't for those years, I would still be driving myself, alone and depressed, towards a goal that I hadn't wanted for years yet was afraid to leave, trying desperately to make everyone happy but gaining no recognition.

I'm going to go back to college next fall. But it sure as heck won't be for pre-vet. I'm so much more than that now. If I want to be called Doctor, I'll get a Doctorate of Knowledge.

My adivce to people going through doubts would be to take a step back, look at your life, find what would make you happy, then do it if it won't make you more unhappy than happy in the long run. High school is an ordeal to be gotten through with as quickly and uneventfully as possible. Do it to your own satisfaction, not anyone else's, and find things to make you happy while you're slogging through it.


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Irish is my special e-stalker. I leave the blinds open for him. :P // I'm the designated keeper of sobreity. Jell-o Shooters anyone? // I will always have fond memories of Leo's big banana and Cheese's sexy penguin. // I am the all powerful Ish Witch! ::insert evil cackle here:: // ALL HAIL PURSTHULHU!
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FurryMammal
post Nov 21 2004, 06:40 PM
Post #6


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Halfway through year eleven (I was around 15/16 years old) I realised I was majorly bored with school, so I went through a long phase of not going to lessons. Instead, I would buy food, take some books and a change of clothes, and sit in a park or in a tree somewhere and read. I had more fun than I would have in school. Unfortunately they started getting wise to me, mainly when I came and went during the day so I was only at the 'good' lessons biggrin.gif

Now I'm in college and I'm taught at a faster pace, so I'm more likely to stay vaguely interested in what's being said. I skip some lessons every so often but thanks to that (often dodgy) EMA system I'm technically being paid to be there, which keeps me roughly in the classroom. I also get a lot more free time and I have only four subjects to think about. Lots more work but I tend to do that on the train. Plus with all that free time, I can learn other stuff in my spare time, because I do have some motivation to learn stuff.

Moral of my story? Isn't one. Bunk off a bit and stay in school, it'll gradually get better. And go to uni. That's a good moral.


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George Bush- the world's worst winner.
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acid_rain_child
post Nov 23 2004, 09:11 PM
Post #7


Vive y Deja Vivir
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I've successfully managed to live through the last 3 days of school and I'm very proud of myself. My friend did ask me today if I wanted to skip with her tomorrow (as it is the day before Thanksgiving/4 day weekend and no teacher that values their life is going to make us do anything) but I don't think I will. I'm proud of myself for declining too tongue.gif

I've asked around and complained to other people, and it seems like just about everyone goes through this sort of f*** school phase. It happens mostly in high school, I'm finding, when you just get sick of the perma-BS stank of it. That means around Sophomore or Junior year, as I see it. In the end, people are telling me to go with the flow, screw around for another quarter or so until I get bored with it. Eventually, they say, I'll realize it's only a couple years of my life, and after that I can go my own way... but for now, for the love of god, stay in school and don't get arrested. I think it's just hit me hardest because I've been so straightlaced about school since day one, and haven't allowed myself to let go every once in a while.

Screw around for another quarter or so sounds like a good plan to me.


--------------------
"As life gets longer, awful feels softer,
Well it feels pretty soft to me.
And if it takes sh*t to make bliss,
Well I feel pretty blissfully."
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gothictheysay
post Nov 24 2004, 08:31 PM
Post #8


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'less you live in my uptight yuppy neighborhood where if you are found skipping a class once the teacher can drop you and fail you.

be careful!


--------------------
Being corrupted by candice since 2004
teal and orange is the way forward
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the lil' pie...
post Nov 25 2004, 09:47 AM
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Well, as long as you stick with it, you'll be ok. I was doing the same thing all last year. But I'm driving myself to keep going and get to uni (as some will know) because at least there I'll meet new people to doss with...well, that's my background attitude. I think it's great you decided not to skip today smile.gif


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It's not so bad being trendy, everyone who looks like me is my friend...

SHINY...

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Misty Rain
post Dec 10 2004, 05:52 PM
Post #10


Obsessive
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Good evening,

I have only just read your little grumble so this response is a bit late.

I was absent from school a bit in the 50s. The cause in my case was pure terror.
It amuses me a bit now to have survived the Luftwaffe though my dad did not in the end and yet be fearful of what happened at schoolbut I digress.

In order not to be ignorant you have to study.
People who refuse to read are no different from those who cannot read.
Any fool can addle their brains with chemicals.
Chemicals are only good for the businessmen and women who sell them.
You complain about the world but, in that you are trying to render yourself useless, you are just part of the problem.

I have a nephew who, at 15/16 years old was always bunking off or getting suspended because he said the teachers were ignorant stupid ***$$****s.
I had to explain that I agreed with him but that each one has some gold nuggets of knowledge you could need in the future and you can learn from those you despise and the greatest revenge is success.
I also told him that one of the reasons he did not go to school was that he was an idle litte creep.
Most school stuff is structured in that you need what you did not learn last week to understand next month's stuff. I suspect that your absenteeism and brain addling has put you in a position of creeping despair at the amount of catching up you have to do.

The people you see apparently plodding on through school are mostly not working that hard. They just did not stop, so keeping up is easy.

All through his teens our eldest son did what you are doing (without the brain dead chemicals thank goodness) He had to go back and do it all again in his 20s, like we told him he would.

A school is like a Star Gate to other worlds.
You do not realise it at the time though.
Worlds you will never see if you go down the road you appear to have chosen.

I expect you have never met really stupid people.
The occasional one is OK but imagine sharing the canteen with 20, 40 or 50 of them!!!
I did that a few times when out on remote site visits.
You would not want a life time of it.

This complaining about school - Try some real life.
What you did with the absenteeism would get you fired in real life.
Being fired for that and chemical brain death means:-

No house
No car
No partner
No access to your children
Crap clothes
Crap food
Being permanently grubby. (Take it from me, I lived rough on and off for 4 years)
You only get to drink low grade alcohol.

And the most horrible thing of all - IT NEED NOT HAVE BEEN LIKE THIS!!!!!

So please.........do not go down that road. It isn't nice.

The world is a magic place. I have seen so much of it merely by doing a few, just A FEW!!! hours extra per week in learning.
I wish I had gone to university but school taught me to hate learning It took another 5 years and the RAF to change me.

I hope this does not seem too much like preaching and if some one has said the same to you already then too bad, you need it.

There really, really are no free lunches
Best of luck.

Misty Rain

I have worked in factories. Students wha bitch about their lives and play truant should spend a gap year on the assembly line of their choice with the clock reset to zero every time they are absent. Then you can imagine doing it for the next 40 years.

Byeee
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