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> I'm Stuck, trying to write
depressed lonely...
post Dec 31 2004, 05:12 AM
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Depressed, Lonely and getting crazier by the day!
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i'm writing an essay on a kind of people who in my opinion are not intended on a genetic level to conform.
it's nota planned essay just somthing i'm putting together as i go. i've written 2 pages so far and am now stuck. what do you think my next point should be
given that my current theme is that these people would have been in a previous century the tourtured artists that end up cutting of and ear because they can't disconect themselves from feeling.
i thought i have for later is that these people in my experiece are no longer intended to live long in this world

im sure that you have met these sorts of people i'n your lifetime. they are the ones that smash through your life with their differnce and leave you changed forever
so maybe you have a thought to add or a point that needs to be made.

i will when i finish be posting my essay here it's just a question on when that will be as i don't share unfinished work.


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Wyvern
post Jan 3 2005, 01:29 AM
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What points have you got so far?
It might help people to provide more relevant input for you!

It sounds really interesting but Im loathe to put anything forward incase its completely off track and throws you. tongue.gif


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depressed lonely...
post Jan 3 2005, 01:28 PM
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i seem to have lost my track so the book i've written it in is now sitting on my dresser so it's in my line of vision when i pace. which is good coas i tend to think best when my feet are moving.


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depressed lonely...
post Jan 4 2005, 04:10 PM
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ok i can only try to explain this when i'm in a mood same as i can only write properly when in a mood.
this essay is essentially my trying to understand my friends the ones that pick me but more speciffically my friend hugh who if given a listening ear i could talk about all day.
he has been an amazingly important influence in my life because he's kind of able to indulge craziness. we for several years from age 8 spent time together discussing life the universe and everything we evolved our weird behaviors to fit around each other. and enjoyed being eccentric together for instance when we were 9 we collected every mattress in the huse draged them into his room and then proceded to divid the room in half with one of us on each side. we did this because we had been disscusing how actual contact affected friendship and wethen decided to make it so we couldn't see or touch each other but we could talk and do the same things in the same room. the experiment provied talk material for lunchtime for 2 weeks solid.
and that is just one thing. we have thousands of memories of each other doing odd things together. there are too many to put on paper but i treasure every one.

another thing would be when we were 13 and had been drinking (naughty us) and we came across a bar(the matal kind) above a car park at that moment he saw potential and we spent hours playing near this bar from that time on every time we felt the way we did near the bar it became the topic of conversation.

a thing he did for years untill he moved to canberra he would call me up of a night and we would sit at our computers holding the phone and playing the same game for ages till he would start going on about anthing in his field of vision(including moths and their respective stripes) and then he'd be charmingly impossible to get of the phone when i had to go to bed he would start actuall conversatons then about the nature of our friendship about how we could be together forever how we understood each other a million times better than anyone our age could have ever understood a person before and i generally agreed with him. we did and when we see each other do have a special conection as friends we just pick up where we left off. i have half deluded myself into believing that i could never start a familly with anyone but him and we'd have children who didn't judge people or try to hide themselves or we could just drift about being people together.


i'll try and get back on track another time cos i'm getting all inspired again


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There's no I in team but there is a ME if you re-arange the letters!
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depressed lonely...
post Jan 4 2005, 04:39 PM
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i wish i was a better writer cos as i am i don't think i can covey how good a friend hugh is even when drunk or stoned. he's caring and oversensitive and wonderfull and i don't know how his mother can go a day without telling him how special he is and how a mothers life must be compleet when she has a child like him. and the only thing that would make him better would be him not drinking so much. and she should want to help him with that because it's the reckless behavior he indulges in when drunk that scares me and makes me think that he could get killed or hurt or in a car accident or stolen. and i don't want to think about what life would be without the calming knowledge that he's existing and could become anything if he pulls himself together.


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Vote Brian Molko for ruler of the whole world in 2007
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Polocrunch
post Jan 4 2005, 05:04 PM
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A good first step might be to perfect your grammar, punctuation and spelling. Perfect presentation lends your writing far greater authority. Then you could start to vary the words that you use, get a bit more adventurous with punctuation (semi-colons can be very expressive if used properly), and eventually start playing around with the ways in which you use words. Experimenting with the way in which sentences and paragraphs are set up will allow you to better express what you are trying to say.
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Mata
post Jan 4 2005, 07:09 PM
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Polo's got a point. Using formal English in essays really does make a huge difference to the way that it's received by a teacher.

Personally I'd suggest leaving off from using semi-colons for the moment, they're fiddly things to use correctly, and even at advanced levels there is sometimes dispute about them (my tutor and I disagree occasionally), but if you do get the hang of everything else then they really do make your work appear more erudite.

So, for example, the first line of this post would not be acceptable in an essay because I abbreviated 'Polo has' and 'it is'. The first sentence is also a fragment. While I did use the apostrophe 's' correctly, it is not good written form to use such contractions in an academic submission.


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Little Green Got...
post Jan 5 2005, 05:56 AM
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QUOTE (Mata @ Jan 4 2005, 02:09 PM)
Polo's got a point. Using formal English in essays really does make a huge difference to the way that it's received by a teacher.

Personally I'd suggest leaving off from using semi-colons for the moment, they're fiddly things to use correctly, and even at advanced levels there is sometimes dispute about them (my tutor and I disagree occasionally), but if you do get the hang of everything else then they really do make your work appear more erudite.

So, for example, the first line of this post would not be acceptable in an essay because I abbreviated 'Polo has' and 'it is'. The first sentence is also a fragment. While I did use the apostrophe 's' correctly, it is not good written form to use such contractions in an academic submission.
*

Yet again, mata has found a way to teach us all something by useing an example from his very own post. Was it planned? Is it a conspiracy? Will we ever know why Little Goth Girl and Little Green Goth have the same initials?

Meanwhile, back in reality...... I try to stay away from semicolens as much as possible.


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Feyliya
post Jan 5 2005, 08:57 AM
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I don't know... I'm rather fond of semi-colons. Especially when I have to make long lists of things that would include commas with each part. It makes it so much easier to separate everything when you're reading that way.

I must agree with everyone, proper grammar does make the things you write seem that much better. But I'm pretty sure you'll start picking up more the longer you're here. biggrin.gif Just remember that grammar is all about flow and that commas and periods and such are the things that tell you when there should be breaks, pauses, and stops for breath. A well-written sentence is quite a bit like a bar of music that way.

As to the original subject, I'd love to help you with your essay but I don't quite know what points you've already stopped on. Why not put the unfinished paper on here? None of us will laugh, and I'm sure you'll get tons more helpful responses if you did.


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Polocrunch
post Jan 5 2005, 10:53 PM
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Yeah, semi-colons probably come a little bit later. I have become a little obsessed with them recently, ever since I read Eats, Shoots and Leaves. Goodness me; don't I just love that little old semi-colon. tongue.gif
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Mata
post Jan 5 2005, 11:41 PM
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QUOTE (Polocrunch @ Jan 5 2005, 10:53 PM)
Goodness me; don't I just love that little old semi-colon. tongue.gif

Shouldn't that be 'Goodness me! Don't I just love that little, old semi-colon?'? wink.gif


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froggle-rock
post Jan 5 2005, 11:46 PM
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Asenyth
post Jan 6 2005, 01:55 AM
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Actually I do believe that it is "Goodness me, I only love that little, old semi-colon." (only being optional) Where's a grammar teacher when you need one?


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