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> The Slf! Join Now! ^_^, If you're not a part of the solution...
{Gothic Angel}
post Mar 19 2005, 09:34 PM
Post #1


My direction
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*steps onto a soap box*

*looks up at the crowd*

*fetches a stepladder to stand on*

Fellow matazonians! I wish to draw to your attention a horrible tradgedy occurring right under our very noses! I wish to invite you to join a campaign, lead by me and my dear friend and companion Kirsty (KnifeDancer). This campaign has been running for some months now. It is a challenge at times, but that which we oppose must be stopped, and the rewards are far greater than the work involved. And it truly is great work.

In the cafeteria where you work or study, when you go to get a salad or some chips for your lunch, little do you realise that slave labour, thats right, SLAVE LABOUR is ocurring! The conditions under which these slaves are kept are terrible, cramped, and the work is long and hard. At the end of their useful life, these poor creatures are thrown out like garbage! "But what are these poor, unfortunate creatures?", I hear you cry. The answer? Sporks!

The common Spork or Sporkus vulgaris, (not to be confused with the far less common Sporkus regalis a metallic variation, occasionally found on swiss army knives, or the common Foon, Forkus minoris, which is really just an elongated fork) is a peaceful, inoffensive creature, merely desiring to spend it's days lying peacefully at the bottom of a drawer. They often roam in the night, all over the house to find a suitable nesting spot - Under the refrigerator, perhaps, or behind the sofa. They live out their days in peace, until corporations capture them, imprison them under more physically strong, but clearly inferior Fork specimins, in dull plastic tubs, to be used, and thrown away, or worse, broken by ignorant users of the canteen!

This is unnaceptable! Do you use a dog or cat and throw it away? No! Then why is the noble Spork any different?

Since 2004, the Spork Liberation Front (SLF) have been working tirelessly, braving countless visits to the salad bar to liberate over 150 Sporks to date. Now we are asking for volunteers to join our noble cause. Spread the word, rescue what Sporks you can, and stop this travesty! You can make the difference!


No canteen is safe! No cafeteria must be left unsearched! This blatant disregard for these noble creatures can NOT be allowed to continue!


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Once opened consume within three days. Above post is not suitable for home freezing. Store in a cool, dry area.
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KnifeDancer
post Mar 19 2005, 10:01 PM
Post #2


That's 'Sir Guppy' to you
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*Approaches soap box-cum-stepladder, gently removes gothic angel from aforementioned apparatus, gets up on the stepladder contraption, wobbles, coughs politely...pulls out megaphone*
I am Kirsty. I moan about many things but two things are dear to my heart, the SLF that has been mentioned and...government cheese. I will not go into details but lets just say the government is stealing all the cheese and abusing it.


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~* Cheesegirl *~ Join The SLF...Liberate The Sporks! New Topic Is...Government Cheese!
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trunks_girl26
post Mar 19 2005, 11:54 PM
Post #3


o_O
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I have a NEED to join SLF......

My firend and I go so far as to collect them from various places (cafeterias, random KFC's -yes, we go there just for the sporks happy.gif)

I keep them all nice and orderly in a drawer, and reuse them if at all possible (ok, so maybe I'm a bit crazy as well *cough*MAA*cough*)

But yes, SLF rocks happy.gif


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The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return -Moulin Rouge
"Religion is a finger pointing ot the moon, but some people confuse the finger with the moon."
Truth is subjectivity - Kierkegaard
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monkey_called_na...
post Mar 20 2005, 12:36 AM
Post #4


I'm an inefficient bear. Maul.
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i wanna join!!! i have beer!!!


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ATTACK SLOTH!

It's gonna get you... eventually.
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Novander
post Mar 20 2005, 12:38 AM
Post #5


Take apart your head
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I'm joining. Mainly just because I want to put the word 'spork' in my signature.


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IPB Image
I exist on Last.fm, LiveJournal and Facebook. And occasionally in Real Life.
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JimiJimi
post Mar 20 2005, 09:46 AM
Post #6


I'm afraid I'm back.
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I'm joining, just because I find sporks such a weird combination I feel that they must be safe.


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JimiJimi
post Mar 20 2005, 11:10 AM
Post #7


I'm afraid I'm back.
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In sporky honour I made this parody of Michael Jackson's hit, 'Beat it'. And if SPS is reading this, yes I admit I do take things a little too seriously. Mwuhahahahahahahaha!


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Phyllis
post Mar 20 2005, 01:51 PM
Post #8


Candbrush Threepwood
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Hmm. Even though Jimi's joined and made an animation about it already, I still wanna join. tongue.gif After all, those sporks need protecting! I just couldn't think of anything to say while announcing my intent to join before now.


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I love you in a way that is mystical and eternal and illegal in 20 states.
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JimiJimi
post Mar 20 2005, 01:53 PM
Post #9


I'm afraid I'm back.
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Err... It's not actually an animation, it's just some a parody and a (god forbid) midi of Michael Jackson's 'Beat It'. But anyway, I've uncovered many sporky goodness sites, and now I am on a quest for sporks.


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Phyllis
post Mar 20 2005, 02:02 PM
Post #10


Candbrush Threepwood
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Oh, I didn't actually click the link. Hmmm...I wonder how sporks feel about midis. Personally, they cause me immense physical pain. Thus the lack of clicking. I hope you aren't torturing the poor innocent sporks with your midis, Jimi! We're supposed to be protecting them!


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I love you in a way that is mystical and eternal and illegal in 20 states.
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JimiJimi
post Mar 20 2005, 02:15 PM
Post #11


I'm afraid I'm back.
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Aah! Poor sporks! Well, you don't have to click the play button if you don't want to hear the midi, although I have to admit I hate midis so that's why I turtned autostart off. Anyway, my current MSN display picture is:



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Wytukaze
post Mar 20 2005, 02:33 PM
Post #12


Carcinogenic Donkey
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Some sort of spork appreciation and rescue society, eh? Count me in, sporks are far more useful than any mundane fork or spoon. Though I do like the word spoon. Perhaps we could have some sort of cohabitation program for the various species of cutlery?

Imagine a world where the breadknives gallop freely, with herds of teaspoons and, their larger cousins, tablespoons grazing in the middle distance. Among the undergrowth lurks the sleepy paring knife, while the omnivorous spork roams amongst flocks of spreaders. Oh, it's beautiful. *tear*


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JERUSALEM, Israel (AP) - In response to Israel's denial of water to the West Bank, HAMAS released three cheetahs in West Jerusalem, where they went on a killing spree, mauling four Jews and injuring thirteen.

TEL AVIV, Israel (AP) - Following a cheetah attack on West Jerusalem perpetrated by the majority HAMAS party, the Israeli Air Force retaliated by detonating twenty kiloton nuclear devices over Gaza City, Jenin, Nablus, Rafah, and Ramallah.

ASHDOD, Israel (AP) - As a result of the atomic bombings of five Palestinian cities, a 50-foot tall reptile has woken from its million-year slumber in the Mediterranean Sea. The monster has made landfall at Ashdod and obliterated the city. Eyewitnesses report that the monster left the destroyed city heading southeast.
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amun_min69
post Mar 20 2005, 02:53 PM
Post #13


Novice Guppy
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The only words that come to mind in regards to this affirmation are : I concur !
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snooodlysnoosnoo...
post Mar 20 2005, 03:43 PM
Post #14


dream to make believe
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I'll join for the sporks!

I already have liberated two or three.


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Last.fm
snoo is about as evil as a muffin
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mooooooooooopo
post Mar 20 2005, 03:44 PM
Post #15


: P>
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I second that motion!

Count me in. I've already liberated several though I don't get the opportunity daily due to the 'canteen' at work being a microwave, fridge, watercooler and a couple of vending machines.

*wanders off to save the noble spork*


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I am Candice's asw emo e-husband, real life actual husband and all around awesome person, Funked)Out_Frogg's e-paramour. Snugglebum's harem slave. Candice and gothictheysay are my e-pimps.
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{Gothic Angel}
post Mar 20 2005, 07:55 PM
Post #16


My direction
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Yay! Support! happy.gif

And I'm not joking about the 150 sporks thing. We take this seriously. I took one off a kid in the canteen the other day. He looked at me funny. I think he'll think twice before abusing sporks again. *nods*


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artist.unknown
post Mar 21 2005, 03:03 AM
Post #17


sesquipedalian
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We still love you, EvilSpoon. *hugs* Even if you do not have forky prongs.

Yay, sporks. I'm in, if only out of relief that I'm not the only one that saves them. ^^


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-Grammar Nazi-quotes of the yesterday
It is only in his work that an artist can find reality and satisfaction, for the actual world is less intense than the world of his invention and consequently his life, without recourse to violent disorder, does not seem very substantial. -Tennessee Williams
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KnifeDancer
post Mar 21 2005, 02:49 PM
Post #18


That's 'Sir Guppy' to you
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QUOTE ({Gothic Angel} @ Mar 20 2005, 07:55 PM)
Yay! Support! happy.gif

And I'm not joking about the 150 sporks thing. We take this seriously. I took one off a kid in the canteen the other day. He looked at me funny. I think he'll think twice before abusing sporks again. *nods*

*


Jen...just to let you know me n Jez liberated about 200 from random fish n chip shops over the weekend and set the free in the woods by his house. I now own a spork farm. Free range spork anyone?


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~* Cheesegirl *~ Join The SLF...Liberate The Sporks! New Topic Is...Government Cheese!
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Moosh
post Mar 21 2005, 03:09 PM
Post #19


I plug directly into my computer
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I'll join your struggle against the evil spork slave trade


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QUOTE (Peter Griffin)
Math, my dear boy, is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology.
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{Gothic Angel}
post Mar 21 2005, 07:47 PM
Post #20


My direction
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QUOTE (artist.unknown @ Mar 21 2005, 03:03 AM)
We still love you, EvilSpoon. *hugs* Even if you do not have forky prongs.


You will note that I specifically did NOT include spoons in the rant. Spoons can live in mutual harmony with sporks, it is the forks that are the source of all evil.

Plus, we all love EvilSpoon happy.gif *snuggles Andy*


QUOTE (KnifeDancer @ Mar 21 2005, 02:49 PM)
Jen...just to let you know me n Jez liberated about 200 from random fish n chip shops over the weekend and set the free in the woods by his house. I now own a spork farm. Free range spork anyone?


Good work. *awards medal of honour*

Just don't let them drink water form the river wink.gif


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FeralPolyglot
post Mar 22 2005, 07:37 PM
Post #21


=^^= ~~
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*clears throat* *climbs onto Soapbox* My fellow Matazonians, the search for the Greater Good has at long last come to an end. What greater good is there an to to finally be able serve they who for so long have silently and unbegrudgedly served us. Look to your Flatware Trays. Spork Liberation! The Spork is only guilty of being different. The perfect union of Fork and Spoon. But rather than praise and embrace the next level in Flatware Evolution, they seek to suppress it and to control it. They fear that which they do not understand. They fear change. They fear improvement.

My friends, the Sporks have long awaited their day and at long last, their day has come. The sun has set on the time of the dichotomous rule of Fork and Spoon and it seeks to rise on the new day. The dawn of Flatware Equality now seeks to shine its purifying light on the world. The Sporks' battle cry has been sounded. I hear their call to arms and I respond! No longer shall they be ruled under the iron fists of the Kentucky-Fried Chicken, the Dairy Queen, The Burger King, Mean Gene, or the "innocent-looking" Wendy. The End of the Fast-Food fascists has long been in my dreams and in my visions and finally, we will have our revolution! For the Sporks! For Freedom! Sign me up! Vive le Resistance du les Spork!!! biggrin.gif *cue thundrous applause* *steps off soapbox* Thank you. </speech>


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-Cerin
=^^= ~~

What have you done today to make you feel proud?
"Be the change that you want to see in the world." -Mohandas Gandhi
"We do not inherit the land from our fathers, we borrow it from our children." -Native American Proverb
"Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Walk beside me and just be my friend." - Albert Camus
"You can't change the music of your soul." -Katherine Hepburn
"Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth. (...) There is no spoon. Then you'll see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself." -The Matrix
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Erin
post Mar 23 2005, 04:01 AM
Post #22


the one that is me
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I wanna join!!


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--Owner Of Lilith The black and white kitten--
--Cheesemooses Lovely noob--
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KnifeDancer
post Mar 23 2005, 03:35 PM
Post #23


That's 'Sir Guppy' to you
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QUOTE
Good work. *awards medal of honour*

Just don't let them drink water form the river wink.gif

*


We have banished rivers from the land...kind of. They're just frolicking in the woods. I'm going to name them all. blink.gif might take a while tho


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~* Cheesegirl *~ Join The SLF...Liberate The Sporks! New Topic Is...Government Cheese!
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{Gothic Angel}
post Mar 25 2005, 09:43 PM
Post #24


My direction
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I still have the original ones in my room. They have pink and green highlighter faces biggrin.gif


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voices_in_my_hea...
post Mar 26 2005, 12:08 AM
Post #25


If my woman were a fire...
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like this?


unsure.gif
Me? bored? nah...


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Her dignity shone so bright like a light on a hill
and she burned for me, no other man came near her flame.
Bad country songs - the deafening twang of the rich white kid blues.
You can own the strange, but the lights and glares will not make you real.
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