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> Father,
acid_rain_child
post Apr 14 2005, 05:48 PM
Post #1


Vive y Deja Vivir
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I dunno, I try to be a poet, sometimes it works, other times it doesn't. Go ahead, tear me a new hole, everyone:

Father,

Win me over, clever lies
Make me believe it's real
I'll be there at the end of the night.

Resurrect like the Holy Son
My dead body waste
I'll be there at the end of the night.

Your calculated kind words and silver promises plagued with tarnish
Blind my senses so
I'll be there at the end of the night.

Marionette, I have a painted smile
Knot my strings, lock me in the dark again
I'll be there at the end of the night.

Cripple me with fear
Starve me with my own barren spine
I'll be there at the end of the night.

Inside. Always inside.
My soul sucked swollen my rotted lips.
You and I both know
I'll be there at the end of the night.


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"As life gets longer, awful feels softer,
Well it feels pretty soft to me.
And if it takes sh*t to make bliss,
Well I feel pretty blissfully."
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)DonkeyRoo(
post Apr 24 2005, 03:21 PM
Post #2


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i liked it alot, its really deep, well done biggrin.gif


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>!< Soundsucks!

Noobed by I.A.T.B

Oscar Hilton's Partner in crime :D
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Apollyon
post Apr 29 2005, 03:31 AM
Post #3


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Wow. That imagery is really powerful. I'm not sure I understand what the poem is about though...

It has great rhythm, and great metaphor, and.... wow. Just beautiful. The first few lines especially captivated me.

But the metaphor had no internal logic (not to sound wierd or anything). Maybe I just don't get it?


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Subliminal
LIMINAL!!
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acid_rain_child
post May 9 2005, 07:17 PM
Post #4


Vive y Deja Vivir
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Posts: 549
Joined: 24-October 03
From: Baltimore, Maryland. Blieve, hon.
Member No.: 672
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Wow, I haven't even checked to see if anyone even read this!

The poem itself is a daughter's... cry for help? journal? letter? maybe just poem? to her father. A poem about rape without being angsty and all "I hate you, blah blah blah." I try not to make crap poetry like that. If I hadn't told you, you wouldn't have known what the narrarator was talking about, but that's one of my favorite things about poetry is that each of our own person experiences shapes what we take from poetry. It doesn't have to be about rape, it could be about someone simply taking the life out of someone else with their mere existance. I live with that every day, sadly.

I really enjoyed this poem, so I entered it to my school's paper and whatnot, and wanted to know what people here thought. This is one of the poems that wrote itself, and the specific meaning came to me the same way, it's sort of hard to explain. I'm glad you liked it, thanks smile.gif


--------------------
"As life gets longer, awful feels softer,
Well it feels pretty soft to me.
And if it takes sh*t to make bliss,
Well I feel pretty blissfully."
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