Age Appropriate Chores And House Work, in your opinion what is enough Options

[depressed lonely...]

In your opinion what is a reasonable amout of house work for a child or tenager to do.
is it dependant on age and how much money there is in the family?
Do you think extra chores should result in extra pocket/spending money? And shoyld there be a base amount of household chores done by everyone which you don't get paid to do but which if you don't your pocket money should be docked?


all this is brought up by the fact that my siblings(age 10 and14) do no house hold chores don't go to school and don't have activitys or friends to visit, whereas my mother does house work in addition to going to work 1-3 days a week and I do alot (possibly more than mum cos I'm a neat freak) when I have TAFE 5 days a week.

To me it seem unfair that they sit around all day with nothing to do but sleep late eat and watch TV but they don't clean up the messes they make and they certainly don't do anything helpfull.

I consider this unreasonable and lazy.
My mother brings up the fact that they're only 10 and 14 but reality is I did more than kirk does at 10 than he does at 14.

I am as such trying to get an outside opinion on wheather expecting things like washing ,washing up, putting away, feeding the animals tidying comunal living areas assistance with preparing meals and cleaning their own rooms is too much to expect of people their age.

And if possible at what age you think a level of contribution is fair.

[Faerieryn]

OK question number one: Why don't they go to school? If they are being home schooled then they should be in fact doing something constructive with their time. If not then technically speaking I believe that social services can get involved and go grr at your parents (at least I think so. I'm in england, I don't know the actual law over with you guys)

Question number two: Have you spoken to your siblings about this? Maybe they don't realise how much extra work they are creating for your mother? Maybe they are just being lazy? You don't know until you ask them!

Question number three: Why don't you make a list of everything you did at home when you were 10 and a list of what your siblings are supposed to do. Usually if confronted with paper evidence people are more likely to listen.

When I was a teenager I had to do simple things: Keep my own personal space tidy, lay the table for dinner and do the washing up occasionally. Not a lot I know but unlike most people I wasn't given pocket money or any other sort of bribe I was just expected to do it, and I did.

[Moosh]

I am 15 and I am expected to:

> Wash up once a week
> Lay the table for dinner every day unless me and my sister make dinner
> Clear up my room and change my bedcovers once a fortnight
> Just generally tidy up if it needs doing
> Clear up my own mess if I make it

I don't get any money or anything for doing this, as Ryn said, I'm expected to do it and I do.

[Oblivion]

Well I am 10 and i have to put away dishes and wash them, sweep the house do recycle and garbage, and i feed all my animals (A cat a dog and a bird).
I dont get paid but i do it anyway its not that hard.

[Jonman]

It's all relative.

If you live in a family with 2 kids and a stay-at-home mum who employs a maid, then it's fair to say that there's little in the way of household chores that the kids could usefully do.

On the other hand, if you live in a family where all the parents work full-time, then it's perfectly reasonable to expect the kids to do chores, to contribute to the household. A ten year old is more than capable of not only keeping their own personal space clean, but washing up, gardening, and taking the rubbish out.

On a different tack, my personal philosophy is that chores should be an essential part of raising kids. It teaches them the valuble lesson that sometimes, you just have to do unpleasant things. It also teaches valuable skills for when they leave home. You may laugh, but I went to school with a guy, who at the grand old age of 18, was incapable of washing up plates. Leaving home without a clue of how to clean up after yourself, let alone how to cook, is just asking for trouble.

So I'm clearly going to be a fascist dad.

[LoLo]

It's never too early to start chores if you ask me.

When I was 7 years old I was taught how to cook, do my own laundry, clean, and got my first job where I made 5 dollars washing family members cars once a week. The car washing was my only form of income.

So basically when I was 7 I was feeding myself, cleaning up after myself, working, and basically taking care of myself. By the time I was 10 I had also begun yard work.

I think what my mom had us do chore wise, is split up the different rooms between my brother, sister and myself, and we rotated who did what once a week, along with keeping our rooms clean.

Like Jonman said, chores are good because then you let your kids leave your house and become an adult knowing how to take care of themselves.

Now that I'm 26, I play the work full time and go to school card, to get out of doing as many of the chores as I used to, but I still know how to do them!

[I_am_the_best]

I'm 13 and I don't think that I have very many chores to do. I'm expected to do the shopping about once a week, lay the table everyday, tidy my own mess and keep my room clean. I do all that apart from the deal with keeping the room clean, when it's messy, I know where everything is.

[depressed lonely...]

Ryn my siblings don't go to school because they just don't feel like it and when they don't feel like doing som thing they don't do it, mum no longer gives them work to do because it stresses her out to make up work find books and such give it to my siblings and then spend hours forceing them to do a page of work.

I have spoken to my siblings and they don't care. They eat wheather they help to wash up put away or make food so it makes no difference what they do, mum and I both find it more stessful and annoying to have their clothesgoing mouldy in the laundry than to just do them. they don't particularly care about living in mess and their rooms aren't tidy because my brother sleeps in the lounge room on the lounge and my sister sleeps with mum in her bed.

trying to get them to do anything is to be honest exhausting like pulling teeth they have to be nagged on every step.
for example my brother had to wash the dishes being 4X dinner plates 4Xlittle plates 4X soup bowl 4X small bowl 4X big bowl 8X mugs to get out of this he
complained about the water being too hot, too dirty, he needed gloves, the gloves we had were too small, the ones we got then were itchy, ones we dug up from somwhere else were tight, there wasn/t enough soap, he couldn't stack the raining board he couldn't find the brush , the brush was broken, he needed a scourer,the owe had were too small he had to watch TV, his legs hurt, this is total crap you're all b***hes why should I do this and then he took off on his bike at 9:30 at night when this whole thing started at 6:40.
as you can imagine it very stressful to be around

I think there's a certain amount of chores you should just do but if a young person pays for their own clothes, shoes ,nick nacks they should have an allowance unless there are SERIOUS money problems.


Jonman I totally agree with this

On a different tack, my personal philosophy is that chores should be an essential part of raising kids. It teaches them the valuble lesson that sometimes, you just have to do unpleasant things. It also teaches valuable skills for when they leave home. You may laugh, but I went to school with a guy, who at the grand old age of 18, was incapable of washing up plates. Leaving home without a clue of how to clean up after yourself, let alone how to cook, is just asking for trouble.

chores aren't fun but they don't have to be unpleasant washing and kitchen chores can be theraputic provided they aren't allowed to stak up into days of work which our have(we had mushrooms growing on dirty plates then mum freaked out and threw them so she wouldn't have to wash them up) children shouldn't lay about it's unhealthy for the mind, body and soul.


One more thing
Cheese moose are you serious about eating at a table every day....we only do that christmas rest of the year we eat on our laps or on the floor





There's another issue if their pocket money is docked they steal everything not nailed down and that pisses me off but the way our parents raised us never really specifed not stealing so it probably somthing they'll have to outgrow.
But were it your child how would you deal with it.

[Jaq]

my siblings don't go to school because they just don't feel like it and when they don't feel like doing som thing they don't do it, mum no longer gives them work to do because it stresses her out to make up work find books and such give it to my siblings and then spend hours forceing them to do a page of work.

And where are the truant officers in this? welfare? social services? the school that they're enrolled in? Are they home schooled? I think if they didn't show up to school that often, someone might start asking questions.

[snooodlysnoosnoo...]

Ok, so if they are happy to live in dirty clothes that's fine... try doing osmething more drastic.

Don't cook for them, cook just enough for you and your mum, see how they like that. Take all the snack food out of the house, just don't buy it. They'll get hungry pretty quick, then they might be ready for negotiation.
Every time they make up excuses for not doing their chores stop feeding them.

It may sound really harsh but it'll work and it doesn't leave you and your mum living in filth.

[Moosh]

One more thing
Cheese moose are you serious about eating at a table every day....we only do that christmas rest of the year we eat on our laps or on the floor

Yes, we try to eat together at a table twice a day

[Fallen Element]

Because I was such a lazy child my parents enforced doing chores with downright bribery. I would get one pound per day - if I did all of the things expected of me. I had to set and clear the table, do the evening meal dishes, hoover the living room and keep my bedroom in a reasonable state. If I didn't do one of my chores (unless I had a feasible excuse: school commitments or such like) I would lose one pound.

I liked the way they raised me: I was taught the value of being houseproud, I was given some valuable lifeskills (very very handy for Uni) and I also learned the value of money.

And now I'm an obsessive neat freak bordering on compulsive disorder... My father has no-one to blame but himself! Unfortunately I no longer get the pound per day... <Hmph>

I think that encouraging children to do a bit around the house is healthy - and if a little money can be spared then offering them a reward (there is no other word for it - and it's not technically what I mean) makes the chorse seem less annoying... In regards to the age of a child - I think it's irrelevant. A 7 year old can to small things like take the rubbish out etc and parents can help them out. What better way to bond with your kids? Recycle!


Fal xXx

[artist.unknown]

My brother (11) and I (17) do most of the chores. We're both compulsively neat, and both tend to play the pacifist and avoid needless filial warfare. My sister (14), though, is lazy as sin, leaves everywhere she goes looking like a war zone, and refuses to do even simple things like getting water for her cats. She has to be coerced/bribed into doing absolutely anything and reguarly has a coniption. I'd like to go on chore strike, but that only puts a burder on my mother, and besides I'm too twitchy to leave things lying about. It's not my parents' fault, she's just aspergery and doesn't understand why we're so bothered by the fact she's a slob. At any rate I'm glad my parents have me do chores, it was good practice for my job (house cleaning), and having an allowance is nice, although it does irk me that my sister still gets one.

[Novander]

Yes, we try to eat together at a table twice a day

When I'm home we usually all eat our main evening meal at the table together.

To be honest, I had it easy as far as chores are concerned. Empty/Load the dishwasher, lay the table and occasionally mow the lawn. And I'd complain about this because my sister would never do anything and my brother couldn't mow the lawn usually due to hayfever. Wimp.

And yeah, I never did any cooking either, so the first year of uni was a big learning experience. On more than one occasion I had to look up online how to cook something incredibly basic, because asking my flatmates would be admitting defeat.

A few weeks before uni started, my mum took me to a laundrette to show me how it all works, and then taught me how to iron (ha, as if I'll ever need to know how to do that).

I believe that no child should be expected to automatically do chores just because they're there and need doing. Children don't think like that. But if give child a chore to do - as a one off or on a regular basis - and they don't do it then they should be punished.

You have no idea, how much editing, of this post I had to do, to remove, unnecessary commas. I can't help it; I love the things. Not quite as much as semi-colons though.

[Usurper MrTeapot]

I'm like Novander in that we have one meal a day together and few chores. Except my dad has a firm grip on 'his jobs'. He is the dishwasher, the gardener and the 'keep the seat infront of the teller warm-er'. All I need to do is lay table, clean table and occationally tidy room (like thats going to happen).

But I do know how to cook, clean, tidy, wash and iron. Oh yes I do! Just I don't like doing too often and avoid it if I can. However I shall have to at uni and that'll be my kick up the arse.

Other than that there really aren't any chores I do, except parent computer maintainance which is where my source of income *cough* bribary *cough* is generated. I was quickly told "go get a job and pay for your own stuff" after asking for an extra 10p to buy sweeties when I was 8.

[elphaba2]

I'm relatively ok with the chores in my house--we're expected to clean up after eating (clear food, wash dishes, etc.) and about three times a week do a full kitchen-cleaning (sweeping, dusting, washing pots, general tidying). On weekends we'll be asked to do specific things (cleaning out a bothersome cabinent, washing windows, pulling weeds) that aren't much of an issue. If we make a mess, we clean it quickly. The only monkey wrench in the works would be my younger bother. (not a typo)

I've got a situation rather like artist-unknowns' in that my older brother and I do the brunt of chores, while the younger (also 11) is quite willing to slob about and waste time nitpicking over stupid things. If he spills a glass of water he'll stare at it for a while, and then only after being reminded of the fact will get something to sop it up with. He's got what we refer to as "younger-child syndrome". It's a very scientific name, yes, I agree.

We do get an allowance when my parents remember--a rather generous one by my standards. We're paid by the grade we're in, so my little bother would get $6 a week. I've got a job picking threads in an embroidery shop as well, so I consider myself pretty lucky when it comes to chores/responsibility.

[voices_in_my_hea...]

I'm expected to unload the dishwasher, pick up all dirty clothes (even if their not mine), Feed the pets (two cats and some fish), rinse my own dirty dishes, keep my room tidy, and help out with some of the yard work. I'm Twelve, and even though I'll admit to complaining about it sometimes, it really isn't too much work.

I should also add that I usally end up cleaning up after my sister. My older sister.
She's expected to load the dishwasher, keep her room clean, keep the bathroom clean (her side of the mess, at least) and sometimes she'll mow the lawn, but that's her choice. (she's 15)

I'm supposed to be getting a $10 allowence (I get 5 extra dollars for getting all a's and b's) but my parents haven't paid me for a month or two. They owe me $110 right now, but something tells me I'm not going to get paid.

I have a feeling that they didn't expect me to do my chores...

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

In all honesty, I never really had many chores to do, I have to say I was probably spoilt...a little, I used to get home from school and plonk myself in front of the TV, I guess occasionally I was asked/nagged/made/bribed to do odd jobs around the house. I think because when I was young my mum was a housewife, she had jobs but she's only recently gotten into something you could call a career. When I'm home from university, I do help out, like do runs to the shops, little DIY jobs, tidy the kitchen in the evenings, peeling the spuds. I don't cook though, if it's simple then maybe, but I don't like to cook and it usually goes horribly wrong, still, I do help out.

I wouldn't say I really suffered because of my lazy childhood, I'm quite a tidy person naturally, my housemate(s) are generally quite messy, esspecially in the kitchen and this REALLY bugs me, one of them is esspecially bad, leaving used teabags all over the place, she doesn't put things back in the fridge and when she takes all the dirty plates out of her room, she basically fills the dishwasher
/bitching

ok, that wasn't ment to be all about me, I think kids could probably benefit from chores, but franking dlcp, the sprogs sound like little sh1ts, they'll have shock one day, just be make sure you're there to point and laugh

....i didn't really have anything worth while to add to this

[depressed lonely...]

todays jobs have been set mine are done(clear and wipe down the bench chest freezer, storage units, stove and sweep the floor put away and do a load of washing) the kids jobs have been started and abandoned in such a way as to make the room more of a mess .

elphaba2 my siblings have done that so many times iv'e just had to shampoo the carpet and i had to change the water after every foot or so of floor and there are still hot chocolate and cordial stains.

[oxym0ronical]

I had chores from the time I was about 5. We lived on a farm, my dad was working from sunup to sundown, and my mom worked at the hospital. When we were younger, we were basically just expected to keep our rooms cleaned and clean up after ourselves.

As we got older, we had to start pitching in a bit more. Wash the dishes, vacuum, etc. And, eventually, every animal we claimed, we had to feed, water, walk/let out, clean up after, and chase after, as it sometimes happened. We thought we were smart by not claiming *any* animal after that, but alas, it didn't work that way.

None of this ever resulted in bribery, allowances, or the like. We were expected to do it, and if we didn't, x was taken away for y amount of time, and we basically came home from school, did our chores, and went to our rooms for the rest of the night until we were more than willing to do what we were asked to do.

[LoLo]

They won't help clean dishes suggest this:

Get them their own set, totally different from everyone elses. Restrict them to using those dishes only and it's their responsibility to clean them. If they don't clean them then they have to eat off the dirty dishes. Don't clean the dishes, no matter how much it discusts you. If they think they can win in the battle of stubbornness, show them they can't. If you keep cleaning up their messes because they gross you out, they'll keep taking advantage of that. I did this with my ex boyfriend, except the seperate dishes just for him. When he and I moved in together we made the agreement that we would take turns doing the dishes. When 6 months passed and he never did them, I left them in the sink for him to do until he finally gave up after a month and did them. By the time he got to them there were maggots growing in the sink, but he never tested me again on the waiting out my stubborness, suddenly we were taking turns again.

Now the seperate dishes thing, my mom did that for my brother when he wouldn't clean the dishes. If he got caught using other dishes, he got punished by loosing something dear to him, be it allowance, TV priveledges, what not. If they're going to steal when their allowance is taken away, disconnect the cable.

This really isn't your job though, it's your moms. You just have to have the tough resolve of letting the place be dirty for awhile.

[beleraphon]

Well, now I live in my own house I do ALL the chores!

Stuff I had to do as a kid
Look after my cat - including the litter tray, not just feed her.
(I was doing that from age 4 as she was MY cat!)
Keep my room tidy, not sterile, just tidy.
Clear and set the table for dinner
Help in the kitchen with dishwasher loading unloading
Help with laundry, take dirty stuff to machine, hang out to dry, run to gather in if it start to rain!
Help with the rest of the housework, dusting/hoovering etc...
Clean bath after use, ditto sink and toilet.
Change my own bedsheets (help offered or it would take me all day as it was a fun game!)
Vacume floors
Mop kitchen floor
Water houseplants
Help Dad in the garden with weeding,pruning,mowing,watering whatever.

The thing is my parents made it fun - you were not 'forced' to do chores, you were being a wonderful child helping mummy and daddy, so to start with you get the fun stuff to do. Skating round the kitchen with the mop making more mess than you clean up, that sort of thing. Cooking was never a chore, my brother and I can both cook, and enjoy it, plus we were taught to clean up as you went along. Put toy1 away before starting with toy2 kind of thing.
Its easy and stays with you for life.

The one thing I never did a lot of was ironing, two reasons. My mum finds it relaxing and tended to do it when we were at school out of the way and two I'm quite clumsy, everytime I do my ironing now I burn either myself or an item of clothing!


I agree with LoLo, you need then to see the consequences of their actions, if they are hungry but the only plate they can use has 'stuff' growing on it they will have to wash it or risk food poisoning!

[Fallen Element]

Help with laundry, take dirty stuff to machine, hang out to dry, run to gather in if it start to rain!

I'm not the only one! My dad tells me all the time (when I'm home) that his God gave me to him so I could run for the damp washing... I suspect a hint of minty sarcasm!


I like LoLo's idea of getting them separate plates. It *should* make your siblings buck up their attitudes as well as making them feel a bit bad. You'll be ostricising them from the rest of the family - questions like "Why do I have to used different plates?" should appear and that is your perfect opportunity to give them a few home truths!

DLCP: My advices is to go cold turkey on them. I know it pi*ses you off (all the mess - not to mention their spoiltness) but be strong! Be Brave! Eat cookies to numb the messy pain!
May the Gods of strength and tidyness be with you!


Fal xXx

[Hobbes]

Much like SirPS, I was never made to do much in the way of household chores when I was younger. I was expected to clean my bedroom, and tidy up after myself, but that was about it. I rarely washed or dried up, except occasionally when my family tried a little chore-sharing system (which rewarded my sister and I for doing chores... and usually lasted all of three days).

I personally like things tidy and organised, and always have done, even though there were (and are) time that my bedroom is strewn with clothes, books, magazines and CDs. However, for some reason I always enjoyed tidying my bedroom. And it would always take me a day, because I insisted on reorganising all my books into a new order (alphabetical, or by size, or by subject, etc.), and then emptying all my drawers completely. But, by the end, the room would be spotless.

As I got a bit older I would sometimes wash my dad's car, or mow the lawn, or help with the cooking (if it was something interesting to "make", rather than just sticking something in the oven). And I often set the table prior to dinner. Like CheeseM, my family had dinner together at the dining room table almost every night. Some days the mood would take me to do dusting and vacuuming. But it was never expected of me and, often, I would be rewarded in some way (and I probably always knew I would be).

But despite my own miniscule amount of childhood labour , I do think that children should be taught to do a certain amount of unrewarded work at home - and more than I did! When/If I have my own children, I would certainly want to raise them in that way. I think doing so can help to bring up a well-rounded, selfless individual.



As a side note: I know a 13 year old girl who, through no real fault of her own (and mostly due to British schooling and LEAs), doesn't go to school at the moment. Her father works four days a week, and then has hundreds of other little jobs and tasks to do for most of the rest of the week too. Her mother hasn't been particularly well either, and so isn't often able to do household chores. Thus, this 13 year old girl does just about all the household tasks that are possible at home. From looking after a menagerie of animals, to vacuuming and dusting, to cooking and laundry, to looking after her three younger siblings. Yes, I think it is perhaps too much for a 13 year old to have to do. Some of the jobs she does is the way she earns her pocket money, others are expected and unrewarded. But... all in all (whether because of this responsibility or despite it, I don't know), she is perhaps one of the most mature, well-rounded, kindest, selfless and self-aware young girls I've ever known. So her parents have done something right with her.

[Museum Girl]

My gran told me about a boy she knew who refused to wash up and lay the table; he was made to sit on the floor and eat off newspaper with no cutlery. He lasted two days before he cracked.

I have to hoover and dust my own room, take care of my plants and I get paid for doing the ironing, washing or hoovering/dusting the rest of the house. This started when I started at senior school (12).

Taking the cable out of the tv seems like a good idea, but why not threaten them with some horror stories about social services.