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> Just Sent Mcvities The Following Email...
Jonman
post Apr 21 2005, 08:56 AM
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QUOTE (Jonman's email to Mcvities)
Did I dream it? Or imagine it? Or, at one time, was there a king, nay, an emperor among biscuits? The noble Hobnob, wearing a pristine hat of plainest chocolate? It would seem that my local purveyor of biscuity goodness, Sainsburys, agrees that I must have dreamt it, for there is no hint of a plain chocolate Hobnob to be found on their shelves.

It seems so obvious – take the best biscuit ever invented, and cover the top of it with sumptuous dark chocolate. The perennial favourite, the lowly Digestive, seems to get all the special treatment. Not only plain and milk chocolate varieties, but orange chocolate and caramel too. What about the poor deprived Hobnob? A superior biscuit to be sure, yet treated like a ginger step-child.

No longer, say I. The time has come to end this tyranny of biscuitry-bigotry. The cry “Equal rights for Hobnobs!” should echo from every rooftop in the land. The day we see a plain chocolate Hobnob is the day that we can declare that biscuitarian discrimination is rightly no longer part of modern Britain!

I beseech McVities and United Biscuits to do everything in their power to end this sad state of affairs, and give the British people what they really want – a plain chocolate covered Hobnob!

Yours in hopeful anticipation,

Jonman,
Biscut rights activist and lifelong Hobnob fan.


Never know, they might send me some free biscuits. You can but hope.


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CommieBastard
post Apr 21 2005, 11:48 AM
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Fight the good fight, Jonman! Chocolate Hobnobs are every Englishman's right!


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Sir Psycho Sexy
post Apr 21 2005, 11:54 AM
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If you did dream it Jonman, then it was a shared dream, and it was a good dream!


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froggle-rock
post Apr 21 2005, 01:12 PM
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Teehehe. If it does get you a free packet, lemme know. k?wink.gif laugh.gif


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Faerieryn
post Apr 21 2005, 01:54 PM
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Hobnobs stick in my throat.

/spam


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Jonman
post Apr 21 2005, 02:52 PM
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QUOTE (Faerieryn @ Apr 21 2005, 01:54 PM)
Hobnobs stick in my throat.

/spam
*

That's why you need the plain chocolate, to provide much needed lubrication.

See? Everyone's a winner!


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Usurper MrTeapot
post Apr 21 2005, 03:15 PM
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*dreams of the Chocolate Orange Hobnob day*

The people shall dance in the streets...


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Hobbes
post Apr 21 2005, 07:26 PM
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<spam>

QUOTE
“Equal rights for Hobnobs!”


Some people used to call me Hobnob.

</spam>


Frankly, I find the complete lack of coconut rings in my local Tesco to be a far greater travesty.
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little_bear
post Apr 21 2005, 07:44 PM
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QUOTE (MrTeapot @ Apr 21 2005, 04:15 PM)
*Chocolate Orange Hobnob day*
*

I think I just sex-wee'd.


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Wyvern
post Apr 21 2005, 09:19 PM
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Oh...my...I want...I need...MUST HAVE DARK CHOCOLATE ORANGE HOBNOB!!!

*sits down with head between knees to recover*

This MUST be done, perhaps we should send a mass petition to speed the process?!
Even if they only make one biscuit I could rest and truly consider my actions in this life worthy knowing that I put my name towards such a cause. tongue.gif


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Jonman
post Apr 22 2005, 10:20 AM
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Got the following very un-funny response today..

QUOTE (the lovely Sue Gibson from McVities)
Hi Jon,

Thank you for your e-mail enquiring about McVitie's Plain Chocolate Hob
Nobs. We do still manufacture this product and it is sold in 250g Tubes.

Many grocery outlets stock products which we supply direct to their own
central warehouses. As a consequence, it is difficult to be precise as to
which of the individual stores have received this particular line via their
own distribution network.

Stores will order in supplies from their own warehouses via a computerised
stock control system. As you would expect the goods they order and the
range they stock can be influenced by many factors including shop floor
space, best sellers, popular lines etc.

Perhaps you could indicate your interest to the Manager or the Customer
Services Department of your local supermarket who can inform you if they
are likely to stock this product.

Another suggestion might be to approach a smaller independent retailer who
obtains their stock from a local Cash and Carry and who might be willing to
pick some up for you when they next stock up.

Thank you once again for taking the time to contact us. As a Company, we
continually strive to achieve the very highest standards of quality and
service and it is only with helpful feedback from consumers like yourself
that we are able to achieve this.

Kind regards,

Sue Gibson,
Consumer Services Co-ordinator.


So, good news biscuit lovers is that they do exist. Now all I need to do is complain at Sainsburys until they stock them. Off I go to do that now.


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Faerieryn
post Apr 22 2005, 10:27 AM
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Any free biscuits?


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If life hands you a lemon make lemonade, lace it with cyanide and then pass it around. What can I say I'm a revenge type of gal!!! Ryn
Wearing a large shiny tag around neck "Uncullable Faerie"
Official S P A N G L E R and self proclaimed protector of Tribe Wyvern- OOh Sparkly!!
Proud leader of the Super Spangler Squad. Me and Stardust wil spangle your a$$!!
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Jonman
post Apr 22 2005, 10:30 AM
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QUOTE (Faerieryn @ Apr 22 2005, 10:27 AM)
Any free biscuits?
*


Nah, bloody tightwads.

Anyway, here's my epistle to Sainsy's. My quest for free stuff covered in plain chocolate continues.

QUOTE (Jonman to Sainsbury's)
Hello,

I thought I was imagining that plain chocolate Hobnobs existed. So much so that I contacted McVities to check whether my brain was confumbled. McVities confirmed that my brainsack hadn't wilted, and that they do indeed make plain choccy hobnobs.

But my local Sainsbury (Fosse Park, Leicester) doesn't stock them. This saddens me and my biscuit loving wife almost to the point of despair. Many is the minute we have spent forlornly staring at the rows and rows of crappy milk chocolate hobnobs, always in vain.

We beseech you to stock plain chocolate hobnobs, at least in our local store, if not countrywide. They're a far superior biscuit to the milk chocolate ones.

While we're on the subject, do they still make fully chocolate covered jaffa cakes? Why anyone would want to make do with one that's only half covered is beyond me. Haven't seen the fully covered ones around for a few years. They rocked. You guys should stock them too.


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Faerieryn
post Apr 22 2005, 11:02 AM
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*drools ala homer simpson* fully chocolate covered Jaffa Cakes!!!!!!!!!!!! I remember them. They were sooooo nice and you always had choccie covered fingers


--------------------
If life hands you a lemon make lemonade, lace it with cyanide and then pass it around. What can I say I'm a revenge type of gal!!! Ryn
Wearing a large shiny tag around neck "Uncullable Faerie"
Official S P A N G L E R and self proclaimed protector of Tribe Wyvern- OOh Sparkly!!
Proud leader of the Super Spangler Squad. Me and Stardust wil spangle your a$$!!
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Jonman
post Apr 22 2005, 11:08 AM
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QUOTE (Faerieryn @ Apr 22 2005, 11:02 AM)
*drools ala homer simpson* fully chocolate covered Jaffa Cakes!!!!!!!!!!!! I remember them. They were sooooo nice and you always had choccie covered fingers
*

Innit? It's madness not to sell them.


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Pab
post Apr 22 2005, 11:33 AM
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Yo Jonman,

My reading of the Mcviteeze letter is that they recommend you shop elsewhere than Sainsbreeze. This could just possibly be turned around so that you could have Mcviteeze and Sainsbreeze at eachothers throats with the push of a button. If played correctly, you might be able to get huge stocks of plain chocolate covered hobnobs, Sainsbreeze bikky coupons, and Kisah covered in chocolate from top to bottom (with all due respect). Quick! to the Bat-Fax!


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Pixelgoth
post Apr 22 2005, 11:45 AM
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Jonman you really need to get out more laugh.gif tongue.gif

Personally I'm liking the McVitie's Chocolate Orange digestives. Mmmm, orangey and biscuity biggrin.gif


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Hope confidentally, do valiantly, wait patiently!
Rather light a candle than complain about the dark!
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Jonman
post Apr 22 2005, 02:06 PM
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QUOTE (Pab @ Apr 22 2005, 12:33 PM)
Kisah covered in chocolate from top to bottom (with all due respect).
*


As long it's her that washes the bedsheets afterwards, I'm all for that.


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Jonman
post Apr 22 2005, 02:06 PM
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QUOTE (Pixiegoth @ Apr 22 2005, 12:45 PM)
Jonman you really need to get out more laugh.gif tongue.gif

Personally I'm liking the McVitie's Chocolate Orange digestives.  Mmmm, orangey and biscuity biggrin.gif
*

Pfft. Speak for yourself love. I'm getting paid a decent wage to write comedy emails to retailers instead of testing software like I'm supposed to.

Sound alright to me.


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