Baby On The Way, 7 years too early Options

[Aislinn Faye]

wow yeah.. I've been busy since I've been gone. Hmm.. so yeah I'm pregnant, my dad's pissed, thank god I haven't lived with him in years. My fiance's parents are going to help us with college since my dad wants almost nothing to do with me.. and that's my dad's biggest thing is college, and I'm going, but he's still pissed about me having a kid. Before I ever had anything inside of me I thought I could do abortion in a snap... but knowing something is growing inside of me, partly because of me, and partly because of the man I love, I just can't.. get rid of it. If that makes any sense.. So yeah, any thoughts or helpful money savers for a wedding, school, and a baby would be really helpful, and any mothers out there, feel free to give me some tips for me to keep in my journal for when "it" ( I haven't found out the sex yet ) comes. I'm so excited and scared and nervous all at the same time. And at first I felt ashamed, but when I came to the conclusion that I was going to keep the baby I felt happy... but I still felt bad that I was 18 with a baby on the way and that I wasn't ashamed. And my oldest sister, Mrs. I'm perfect 'cause I make 2 mil a year and went to Cornell, says that I'm selfish and that I'm only thinking about myself... that I feel that it's all about me. But I don't feel as if I'm being selfish, I feel like I'm taking responsibility for my actions, and getting an abortion just seems wrong because it didn't fit into my plan of life..But then it hit me.. I never followed my father's plan he had laid out for me.. and he had it laid out to a T let me tell you, and he practically disowned me, and I dislike my father (not hate) him very much for that, and I want to do nothing like that. And plus, to have the man who helped you form a life in your belly put his hand on your stomach..you can't get rid of it after that.. And the one thing that really made me wanna keep it.. is for the 12 hours that I was the only one who knew.. I immediately thought abortion.. then "I wonder if it'll be a boy of a girl" popped in my head... then.. "what would it look like?" "could I be a good mother?" all these things came racing.. and after talking with me fiance... we deceided to keep it.. but is that selfish.. and I'm rambling.. sorry..

[trunks_girl26]

In my opinion, it's never a selfish act to take care of another life, especially one so obviously conceived in love.

I sincerely hope your father realizes how much you and your partner care about one another as well as the child you've created from love. There are far worse situations you could be in.

Now, the real question is, Are you hoping for a particular sex? (ok, so maybe not the 'real' question, but a darn fun one to ask )

Above all, CONGRADULATIONS!

[CommieBastard]

Of course it's not a selfish act.

Congratulations! Juggling college and a baby won't be the easiest thing you'll ever do, but it can be done with effort and some forward planning.

How far along are you?

[froggle-rock]

The reason you've given don't sound selfish to me. Congratulations. I think you are quite brave to be taking this on at a young age to be honest. I hope the best for you and you baby and your fella

[Usurper MrTeapot]

Oh a babe , congratulations!

It is indeed never selfish to look after another life, self sacrificing not selfish. Just keep on top of tasks and you'll be able to juggle everything. I hope for the best for you and your fiance.

Congratulations!

[Mata]

I'm pretty sure that making the decision to look after a helpless individual is about as close to the antithesis of selfish that you will find. Congratulations with it all.

I'm pretty sure that the standard advice will have already been given, but in case it hasn't:

Don't smoke
Avoid alcohol
Get a good source of folic acid (pills or from some steamed vegetables and cereals)

Break things you need to do into small steps, and any time you have trouble doing something then break it into smaller steps and let yourself feel good for doing even a little bit of planning or organisation. If working out where you're going to live seems hard then feel good about finding out where you could get information from. Feel good about looking. Feel good about making a phone call.

It's easy to be daunted at such a big occasion, but everything is possible and easily achievable when you take it slowly and calmly. You'll be fine!

[Polocrunch]

Wow, congratulations! Listen to what Mata said, he knows where his towel is. And good luck with handling school at the same time, make sure you plan ahead for that. Do you know how you will split your time with your fiance?

[depressed lonely...]

18 isn't so young I know a half dozend people off the top of my head who hads kids at that age.. if anything it did them good.
I hope everthing goes fine and I know you won't regret this choice long term allthough it seems like you could have some difficult family situations coming up that could make iit seem like the wrong decicion to have made just kep in mind that your gut feeling is usually right and you have for a reason.

[Aislinn Faye]

Well.. at first I was hoping for a girl and then a boy.. now it really doesn't matter. I'm not that far along, only about 5-6 weeks. His mom and stepdad are helping alot. Since his step dad can't have kids, he's thrilled beyond everything. And it's funny having a 6'4" 280 lbs man ask in the sweetest voice if the baby can call him grampa. They wanna help watch the kid, so we don't have to spend so much on day care. Oh, another thing.. if you guys wanna give out some unusual names not "let's throw rocks at 'em cause we can't pronouce his name" but some non-common ones, that'd be nice. I'll also keep you guys posted on the wedding.

[MistressAlti]

Deciding to be a mother is never a selfish choice, it is a very noble and rewarding decision. Congrats and luck to you. I'm glad you have such a supportive group of people around you to help, because it is a lot of work, but I can tell that you're going to enjoy motherhood.

[Ashbless]

Public library may have some books as to what to expect during pregnancy and with the newborn. Here in Canada the public health nurses will also answer all the wierd or strange questions you may have without blinking twice. Best of luck for you and your newly formed family.

Congradulations.

[Snugglebum the D...]

Congratulations!!

I've got a 22 month old son so let me know if you have any questions. It can be hard but it's also the most rewarding thing you can do.

I frequently marvel at the fact that he is nearly two and I haven't managed to damage him yet.

[Aislinn Faye]

Thanks Snugglebum, and believe it or not, you guys help me too. I was telling my fiance that you're a great support group and it's true.

[beleraphon]

Considering how many ways there are to ensure that you are not pregnant or that you become un-pregnant quite fast I'm sure that you have thought about what you are doing very carefully or thuis would be quite a different thread.

As Mata says you are now responsible for another life completly, so lots of clean healthy living ok? Start practicing those pelvic excercises and stuff now and rub load and loads of cocoa butter mosituriser into your tum -helps prevent stretch marks according to a friend with 12weeks to go!
Save up too, you will only have a baby for a short amount of time, you get a toddler, child, pre-teen and teenager as well, and if he or she wants to go to college you should start saving for them right now!

All the best - post your scan pics when you get them so we can go Ohhhh!

hugs
bel.

[Mata]

Oo yes! I love baby scan pics!

Another advantage of rubbing cocoa butter into your tum is that apparently it's quite soothing for the baby. The amount of information that they process during pregnancy is amazing, they respond to different types of music (classical is very nice for them apparently, I suggest Faure's Requiem and most of the stuff from the baroque period) and they learn people's voices too.

[Snugglebum the D...]

'Tis true. I remember being very heavily pregnant and having a blazing row with my boss, Kai was going apeshit in my belly. Any time I was in the same room with my boss after that, he used to start wiggling around like crazy (Kai, not my boss).

Ohhhh - feeling your baby kick is the best. As you get bigger you can sometimes see your belly moving, which is really weird. You begin to be able to tell whether it's an elbow or a foot which is poking out.

[depressed lonely...]

apparently sleeping on your back minimises stretch marks but stuffs your back. jusy hope your kids doesn't go berko like my brother... he turned so his spine was againt mums in adition to her getting whooping cough while pregnat with him and him being the biggest of the 4 of us... it looks like he stuffed her bladder too.

[CommieBastard]

Oh, another thing..  if you guys wanna give out some unusual names not "let's throw rocks at 'em cause we can't pronouce his name"  but some non-common ones, that'd be nice.

Mm, how comfortable are you with names from cultures not your own? My name, Seán, is Irish (Gaelic), and that language has some lovely names. www.babynames.com is a good resource for names, you could browse for a bit and see what catches your eye

[Jonman]

Oh, another thing..  if you guys wanna give out some unusual names not "let's throw rocks at 'em cause we can't pronouce his name"  but some non-common ones, that'd be nice.

Mm, how comfortable are you with names from cultures not your own? My name, Seán, is Irish (Gaelic), and that language has some lovely names. www.babynames.com is a good resource for names, you could browse for a bit and see what catches your eye

I suggest incorporating some comedy name in there. I think I've actually convinced the wife to let me give our son (when and if we have one) the middle name 'Danger'.

[froggle-rock]

I less than three you Jonman!

Ohhhh - feeling your baby kick is the best.  As you get bigger you can sometimes see your belly moving, which is really weird.  You begin to be able to tell whether it's an elbow or a foot which is poking out.   

Aw, I remember when my mum was pregnant, and she called me over one day to feel the baby hiccuping! It was the funniest-cutest thing!

[craziness]

listen, if you want to keep it, by all means you should. the problem in our country is that people who don't want babies are forced to have them and then don't love them. if you WANT this child, you are not going to reject him or her, and by all means, go through with it. the power to you!

[Faerieryn]

[quote=Jonman,Apr 25 2005, 04:51 PM]
[quote=CommieBastard,Apr 25 2005, 05:40 PM][quote=Aislinn Faye,Apr 23 2005, 05:16 PM]Oh, another thing..  if you guys wanna give out some unusual names not "let's throw rocks at 'em cause we can't pronouce his name"  but some non-common ones, that'd be nice.

[/quote]


When choosing a name for a child I think you have to be really careful. There are some real humdingers of ***** names around and these kids get the ****** ripped out of them continually. Names that can be shortened to have two syllables (when children are babies they respond better to a two syllabled calling) and one syllable when older (again the response thing is very valid here) but can still be called an adult name as an adult are the best.
Incidently I like androgenous (sp?) names like Robyn/Robin or Sidney/Sydney they're cool
Good luck by the way. I hope things go well. It's gonna be hard but it sounds like your bloke and his parents will be a fantastic support network

[Aislinn Faye]

Yay!! I have my first doctor visit the 4th of May. But yuck, to be pricked and probed, I mean, yeah a pap smear is fine, but I'm sure this is gonna be waaaayy more personal. Today I feel like poo. I have a headache that's in the back of my neck the top of my head in my nose and my eyes... basically...from the neck up and I feel like I have to puke, but I just salivate (you know, right before you puke) but nothing happens. I don't know if I should just self induce or let nature do its thing. But yeah, not much of a pudge yet. Ohh, but when I get my first tummy pic, I think I might put that as my picture awww

[beleraphon]

for the nausea try a bit of ginger root tea, just chopped ginger and hot water (& sugar) its a very old traditional remedy and its always worked when I feel sick (though I'm not pregnant so don't quote me!)

[froggle-rock]

Yay!!  I have my first doctor visit the 4th of May.  But yuck, to be pricked and probed, I mean, yeah a pap smear is fine, but I'm sure this is gonna be waaaayy more personal.  Today I feel like poo.  I have a headache that's in the back of my neck the top of my head in my nose and my eyes... basically...from the neck up and I feel like I have to puke, but I just salivate (you know, right before you puke) but nothing happens.  I don't know if I should just self induce or let nature do its thing.  But yeah, not much of a pudge yet.  Ohh, but when I get my first tummy pic, I think I might put that as my picture  awww

Yay! -If they do get personal, it's because they gotta make sure your bits and bobs are alright

I wouldn't reccomend that you induce vomiting, as the acid from your stomach will wear at your tooth enamel when you do vomit (hence the reason my mother has fillings, and in the UK pregnant women get free dentistry, unless this has changed).

Do you have any cravings yet? - I remember it snowing and my mum ordering that I go and buy her ice lollies, the sweet shop owners must of thought me nutts!