IPB

Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

 
Reply to this topicStart new topic
> A New Poem
PsychWardMike
post Apr 23 2005, 04:09 PM
Post #1


I'm attracted by the potential for reckless abuse of power.
************

Group: Established Members
Posts: 2,683
Joined: 7-May 04
From: Viewtiful World
Member No.: 1,105
Gender: Male



(Criticism welcomed and requested.)

This poetic pretension is killing me!
God knows I've got an affinity for all infinity
But this poetic pride is robbing poetry of its dire earned dignity.
And these dark demons in neon mohagany woodworks
Wreak darkness on a light starved globe
While all I can do is sit back with a drink that I could only wish was as stiff as those pricks
And bitch

Fuck man! fuck this!
I don't know who I am
Or maybe I do,
But that don't matter
Because I know that light and love DO exist
And they're here around me, circling me in my constant halo
And that nirvana and heaven
Are both in a North Jersey Cafe
As I'm sitting surrounded by my surrogate sisters
And Beatnick Blood Brothers
And my Friday night Fantasy Family

And goddamn 'cause all I can do and all I can say is that
Life is Viewtiful
And on our crazy little fucked up world,
I'm enjoying my stay

So gimme a shine
'Cause on this track 42 Choo Choo,
I'm hitching a ride to God knows where,
But I know what!

Beauty, bitch, Beauty.


--------------------
I'm just a Viewtiful Girl living in a Viewtiful World.
Henshin a-go-go, baby.

I swear to God, the above post was not intended to incite flame wars or to offend you.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Apollyon
post Apr 29 2005, 03:39 AM
Post #2


Super Cool
*********

Group: Established Members
Posts: 609
Joined: 6-April 05
From: That one country over there-->
Member No.: 1,734
Gender: Female



That was great. I like your metaphors, although for the second time today I'm not quite sure what imagery is trying to say.

That aside, there is still powerful emotion flowing through this poem, and it also has great phrasing and rhythm. Great! biggrin.gif

Oh, and by the way, what is Viewtiful???


--------------------
Subliminal
LIMINAL!!
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
PsychWardMike
post Apr 29 2005, 05:17 AM
Post #3


I'm attracted by the potential for reckless abuse of power.
************

Group: Established Members
Posts: 2,683
Joined: 7-May 04
From: Viewtiful World
Member No.: 1,105
Gender: Male



Viewty, true viewty:



and more specifically...

.

Bwahaha!


--------------------
I'm just a Viewtiful Girl living in a Viewtiful World.
Henshin a-go-go, baby.

I swear to God, the above post was not intended to incite flame wars or to offend you.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Greeneyes
post Apr 30 2005, 09:39 PM
Post #4


The Key of Joy is disobedience.
************

Group: Established Members
Posts: 2,093
Joined: 4-May 04
From: The UK of GB and NI.
Member No.: 1,102
Gender: Male



Odd how his V-watch only appears when he looks at it, isn't it? A bit like The Simpsons, really...

</spam>


--------------------
Waiting for a superhero intervention
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
PsychWardMike
post Apr 30 2005, 10:59 PM
Post #5


I'm attracted by the potential for reckless abuse of power.
************

Group: Established Members
Posts: 2,683
Joined: 7-May 04
From: Viewtiful World
Member No.: 1,105
Gender: Male



Heh. Yup. A bit odd, but you know what? I don't care... I be a fanboy! laugh.gif

...Now, what of the poem?


--------------------
I'm just a Viewtiful Girl living in a Viewtiful World.
Henshin a-go-go, baby.

I swear to God, the above post was not intended to incite flame wars or to offend you.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
LPScythe
post May 19 2005, 05:46 PM
Post #6


Member
**

Group: New Members
Posts: 21
Joined: 18-May 05
From: London, England
Member No.: 1,801
Gender: Male



I like it. Certainly has a certain beat. Good thought in it.

Personally, I prefer less of a quick beat, but that's simply my opinion. not exactly criticism.

But I am VERY happy to say that this is the first non-emo poem I have read for a longtime.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
PsychWardMike
post May 20 2005, 01:43 AM
Post #7


I'm attracted by the potential for reckless abuse of power.
************

Group: Established Members
Posts: 2,683
Joined: 7-May 04
From: Viewtiful World
Member No.: 1,105
Gender: Male



I don't do emo. Don't wory about that.

Here's some more, if you care to read it.


--------------------
I'm just a Viewtiful Girl living in a Viewtiful World.
Henshin a-go-go, baby.

I swear to God, the above post was not intended to incite flame wars or to offend you.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
pgrmdave
post Oct 13 2005, 10:04 PM
Post #8


^random image of the day
************

Group: Established Members
Posts: 1,841
Joined: 20-January 05
From: online
Member No.: 1,604
Gender: Male



Meh.

It's not great, it's not terrible.

I don't like the:
QUOTE
I don't know who I am
Or maybe I do,


But I can't really say why, it just seems...unnecessary to me.


--------------------
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post

Reply to this topicStart new topic
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

 



Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 18th October 2017 - 08:22 PM
Use these links if you're going to shop at Amazon and a percentage of what you spend goes towards helping this site!