Thanks For Being My Family, Something almost happened. Options

[Righteous]

I don't do well at night, emotionally, that is. Last night (or rather, early this morning), I was in a depressive haze. I've been having issues with, among other things my Faith and wasn't thinking quite clearly. I walked into the bathroom to wash my makeup off and saw the pencil sharpener I use for my eyeliner pencils lying on the counter. I thought to myself, "There's a screwdriver in the other room. I could easily take the razor blades off of that and cut my wrist."

A lot happened in my mind over the past few moments.

I felt a spiritual shockwave go through my body (long story). The first person to come to my head was Spiffy (though we no longer date, we're still really close). Immediately following was her mom, then Lo, Frog, Mick and Narthie. Suddenly my head was filled with images, some from the family album, others avatars I've stared at for hours on end. I then invisioned Mata at his comp with a devistated look on his face calling Sues over saying something akin to, "You know that guy Righteous? He's dead." I then invisioned Narthie in the arms of her boyfriend crying her eyes our. I then invisioned a pond with multiple pillars in it. A stone was dropped into the middle and the resulting ripples caused more to come off of each pillar. I envisioned my wrist bleeding and Spiffy crying into her hands. It then occured to me that you guys are a lot less judgemental than my biological family. After another swarm of random images, posts and PMs, I snapped back into reality and foundmyself still staring ar the pencil sharpener I use for my eyeliner pencils. I washed my face, turned around, hit the light and went to sleep.

I'm not quite sure what could have happened last night, if anything, but I'm glad it didn't, whatever it was, I'm glad it didn't. I love you guys. Thanks for being my family.

[over_the_aybss]

We are all here for you. There is no need to judge you, you are appreciated just the way you are. There is nobody out there who is the same as you, and there never will be. You are an amazing indiviual and you should never change who you are. Never feel as if you have nobody to talk to because there is always somebody.
Look at yourself in the mirror, see the wonderful human being you are, and the wonderful human being you shall always be.


There is nothing that can be judged, when there is nothing wrong with the person we are judging.