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> School report cliches
bryden42
post Oct 21 2005, 07:17 PM
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My mum sent me a load of my old school reports the other day and I have been reading through them, I thought that some of the phrases that i found lurking amongst my less liked subjects were only meant for report cards on tv or comics like the beano, but it would appear that my school life was in fact a cliche.

"Carl could do better"
"Carl needs to apply himself"
"See Me!"
and my personal favourite

"does not play well with others"

anyone else have any classic classroom cliches to share?


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elphaba2
post Oct 21 2005, 08:41 PM
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I found my fifth-grade school report card, and apparently my teacher absolutely hated me. Under her comments was this current of angry sarcasm that I was completely oblivious to in my humble beginnings. Things like:

"..is very willing to share during class discussions"
"..clearly has a veritable wealth of knowledge to share"
"..doesn't seem to think she requires much teaching"

and things like this. I'm paranoid about my potential primary-school pigheadedness, but I remember being quite shy. Hm.


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Astarael
post Oct 22 2005, 01:57 PM
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"Clearly intelligent but needs to pay more attention," was one of my favorites last year. I was getting a 98 in the language arts class that got me that comment, yet I was reading fantasy books inside my desk just about all the time and ignoring the teacher babbling the same things over and over. Needless to say, this pissed the teacher off. She thought she was the fount of wisdom and I thought that she was a complete raging bore. My theory of classes is that if I'm bored in the class and getting above a 95, then I'm not going to bother paying attention. I don't disrupt the class with my reading, and I'm not going to be bored out of my skull to satisfy the teacher's needy attention complex.
I just spent too much time whining. I'll shut up now.


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Mata
post Oct 22 2005, 02:09 PM
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My brother got the teacher's least favourite grade for one of his subjects: C1. A-C was for effort, 1-5 was for attainment. He put in no effort and still did really well. It was also really annoying for me (I've always been a try-hard achieve-average kind of student up until university).


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voices_in_my_hea...
post Oct 22 2005, 04:46 PM
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Up until 6th grade (which is when they gave up on me) almost every single report card had "She is a hard worker and good student, but needs to improve her handwriting!"

I still get the same comment whenever I get a new teacher who is new to the school district, or if I'm new to the school district. biggrin.gif


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Star_of_Lei
post Oct 22 2005, 05:16 PM
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I'm a swot basically, so I always see: " Is a hard worker " *cough cough* "Is a pleasure in class" "Always ready to help in class discussions" yada yada yada.

However in year 7 I had a gem from my french teacher who seemed to be under the impression that I wasn't confident in my answers which i personally find insulting as I was the only one who ever gave an answer, I was top of my class and I'm a french teacher's daughter.

Every year my PE report has said "could do well joining an after school sport" uh yeah, like that's going to happen when I could be doing much more useful things like surfing online


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Usurper MrTeapot
post Oct 22 2005, 08:34 PM
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Not school but one of my drama reports was amusing.

I had three tutors; one drama, another for singing, and a bare buff tutor who tried to teach me dance.

My parents were confused when I was getting "Shaun is a confident actor/singer" and "Shaun is intelligent but doesn't pay attention when supposed to" and getting "Shaun is very shy but is a gem as he hangs onto every word."

Heh, never did tell my parents it was because she was my first teacher crush.


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Kitty
post Oct 22 2005, 10:01 PM
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Teachers have a list that they can choose from, all I ever get is "Student is courteous/cooperative" and "Need parent/teacher conference"


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CommieBastard
post Oct 22 2005, 10:29 PM
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QUOTE (Astarael @ Oct 22 2005, 02:57 PM)
"Clearly intelligent but needs to pay more attention," was one of my favorites last year.
*


You have just summed up every school report I have ever received.


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eleraama
post Oct 23 2005, 02:44 AM
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Mine often involve a lack of prepared work, something like:
"Assignments incomplete"
or "Needs to turn in homework."
Of course, for several years I have managed B's (an A in tests, etc. and a D or F in homework).
My personal opinion is that if I can do well on tests, then I clearly don't need the extra practise.
Although, I have received several extremely complimentary comments before-- "Is extremely intelligent" (like basically everyone else on this forum) or "a pleasure to have in class"-- even when I disagree with something, I disagree cheerfully.


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Star_of_Lei
post Oct 23 2005, 08:04 AM
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QUOTE (eleraama @ Oct 23 2005, 03:44 AM)
"a pleasure to have in class"-- even when I disagree with something, I disagree cheerfully.
*


I disagree loudly in lessons.

My spanish teacher is the best, she's really young and in spanish she's put us in a seating plan. So I ended up sitting next to my mate. We are the type of mates that bicker constantly but get on really well. I have a feeling my spanish report is going to say something like " Is clearly intelligent and a hard worker. Could prehaps concentrate more and not be distracted so easily."


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Daria
post Oct 23 2005, 01:18 PM
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I always got "very intelligent, but could do with concentrating more on the topic at hand" as I always used to (and still do) ask interesting questions which would make the whole lesson veer of at a tangent.

The other day I got my chemistry teacher to explain how molecules absorb some light and not others. biggrin.gif

Also, during a parents' evening, my mother got told I was a "bit of an oddball".

She just smiled and agreed.


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I_am_the_best
post Oct 23 2005, 02:02 PM
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In junior school the teachers only praised me really on my reports, but 'needs to slow down' and 'needs to improve presentation' cropped up several times. Now all I get is 'Needs to improve organisational skills', 'needs to hand homework in on time', 'needs to do homework', 'has receieved several detentions this year due to bad organisation'. The list is endless.


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Faerieryn
post Oct 23 2005, 04:57 PM
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OK the thing is with school reports is that your teacher is writing a minimum of 30 reports at any one time!!!!! This causes lots of hilarity because you can't really write "is a lazy little shite who should get their finger out and do their coursework!"


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voices_in_my_hea...
post Oct 23 2005, 05:46 PM
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I would love for my teacher to write something like that on a progress report. It'd be a great conversation starter.


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Star_of_Lei
post Oct 23 2005, 05:48 PM
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My mum is a teacher and she had a year eleven form last year. Because they were all leaving she was asked to write a positive sentence for each of them for their resume. The most positive thing she could think of for one boy was "He turned up, ocasionally"


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Matthew
post Oct 24 2005, 08:08 AM
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The only report cards that really stick in my mind were the ones that revealed
that I had the highest absence in the schools history and a record number of consecutive detentions...
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Star_of_Lei
post Oct 24 2005, 11:30 AM
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*claps, seriously impressed with Matthew's reports*


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Moosh
post Oct 24 2005, 12:31 PM
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My favorite was two years ago when we got a new Art teacher half-way through the year, and he was terrible so we did no work and he never paid any attention to us. He gave exactly the same report to every person in the class.


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Faerieryn
post Oct 24 2005, 02:07 PM
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My favourites that I write are something like "bob should really focus on completing all tasks both in class and at home. His written work is often incomplete and very rarely shows any effort" That took me a whole 15 minutes to dream up. What I actually wanted to say was "Bob does nothing. Nadda, zero, zilch. He is a lazy sh£"e who is not worthy of my time. He puts in effort, I'll put in effort. If not? Good luck"


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Mata
post Oct 24 2005, 03:17 PM
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QUOTE (eleraama @ Oct 23 2005, 02:44 AM)
Although, I have received several extremely complimentary comments before-- "Is extremely intelligent" (like basically everyone else on this forum)
*

Haha, no, I don't think I ever got that one. My usual one was the lovely hanging phrase 'tries hard', leaving the implication unwritten yet clearly saying 'but he doesn't do very well does he? Bless, he's not the brightest star in the sky, but he's a very nice lad'. biggrin.gif


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Matthew
post Oct 24 2005, 07:59 PM
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QUOTE (Star_of_Lei @ Oct 24 2005, 11:30 AM)
*claps, seriously impressed with Matthew's reports*
*


No, I agree it wasn't very impressive...
school was pretty much the worst time of my life, and getting beaten to pulp repeatedly
only to go home and get it done again by my father for not being man enough to stand up for myself in the first place, put me in a less than a happy place to try to learn anything... hard to concentrate with head injuries.

Moved around, and because of being terrified all the goddamn time and too afraid to even speak out, I went unnoticed in the british school system.
I wasn't clever enough to stand out, but neither was I such a shit that I got treated as a special case who may have needed help.
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Rykan
post Oct 25 2005, 12:43 PM
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I can't remember any particular gems at the moment, but I do remember a teacher complaining that I had too much imagination when I was about 10...


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bryden42
post Oct 25 2005, 09:05 PM
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QUOTE
I wasn't clever enough to stand out


I'd disagree, I always respected you as an exceptionally intelligent person, Just because you were screwed over academically because of circumstance doesn't mean that you are not intelligent.

QUOTE
not being man enough to stand up for myself

maybe not, but I remember you standing up to me first time we met, when I called Craig a spotty git whilst trying to get his attention. You always stood up for your friends!


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Kitty
post Oct 26 2005, 12:11 AM
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Rykan's post reminded me of 3rd grade when I wrote this superly long story using senses (which was the subject) and my teacher marked my paper up so it was mostly red ink and wrote "Off Subject" in really big red letters and probably an F next to it.

From thence forth I didnt do my work.


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