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> Inside Lolo's Head For A Day
LoLo
post May 19 2003, 01:42 AM
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I wrote this to see if I could get my feelings as of late into words....and I think perhaps I was successful maybe not. So if you like you can read it and think I'm more insane than you already do. laugh.gif

I woke up this morning at 7 am with light pouring in through my windows as usual. The thing that sucked about it was that I had gone out last night and I didnít get home until midnight. I really did enjoy my outing, and it was nice to be out, but Iím beginning to feel really old. I remember the days when I would go to bed at 4 am, and now Iím getting up at 4 am most days. Iím burnt out on school, and I feel like an old hag there as well. I love learning, and I love going, but the getting up before the sun is up to get ready and then drive an hour to get there is getting to me. Plus itís all well and good to think, ďPerhaps one of these days Iíll meet a guy and have a college sweetheart,Ē but like I said I am feeling old. Iím 24 and go to a school where most of the students are 18 or 19 years old. If theyíre not that age they are usually around their mid to upper 40's. I have little to no chance meeting anyone at school who is within my age limit. I sit in my classes and listen to the kids talk about parties they went to over the weekend, and how they were afraid that a cop was going to bust them for underage drinking. Bah I havenít gotten the pleasure of worrying about that for years. Now itís more of me hanging out with people not old enough to drink and worrying that the cops are going to bust me for buying for minors. Although to give myself credit, thatís not a problem since I lost my job. Apparently kids donít want to hang out with an old hag like me if I canít afford to supply them with liquor that they canít buy themselves. Iím at an impasse in my life. I donít want to be old but I donít want to be young either. I want to have the old days of partying and feeling like I have no responsibilities or cares in the world. Not that when I was younger I had that, because I did manage to grow up at a very early age. The thing is I didnít enjoy my youth that much and reliving it does not appeal to me. However I donít want the responsibilities and feelings of needing to find someone to settle down with, and perhaps have kids with. This idea is shocking to me because I never have wanted this. Sure maybe a live in boyfriend, but never kids or settling down. I donít know what to do with my life, other than press forward and see where things go. The problem is I feel like Iím on this endless road that leads to no where as of late.


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LoLo
post May 19 2003, 01:44 AM
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Kiefer > Jason
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Please no feeling sorry for me.....its my own little non humrous rant to get things off my chest for myself. I don't want pity.


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CrissiLove
post May 19 2003, 01:47 AM
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I won't pity you.... I feel kind of the same way.... *hugs*
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MistressAlti
post May 19 2003, 01:49 AM
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Okay. No pity. But I seriously wanna go kick some 18-19 year old ass.
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hinsley
post May 19 2003, 02:38 AM
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in england a 24 year old would be seen as in the same age group as a 19 year old. as 18 is the legal drinkin age and theres nothing else to separate the age groups. and anyhow i was goin out with a 24 year old last week and im only 16. age isnt a big deal to me at all.


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TigerLily013
post May 19 2003, 04:44 AM
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~§~Sanity Impaired since 1986~§~
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Hey i understand completely. I feel like sometimes I'm older than everybody else, the only difference is that I'm in the same age group as everyone else in my grade.

As for wanting to settle down, I feel I have found love even though it is a long distance relationship, it feels too close. I just cam back from down thereand I have to say I have found thev person i'll be spenindg my life with.

And ager. Age is not key for friendship wise, love is a different matter. My angel is only a year and 5 months older than I am but that isn't much at all. Some people go out with people in their 20s at my school and I think thats pretty cool but it certainly ixs not my thing.

I am glad you got the bad feelings you've been having lately LoLo, just know I am proud of you *hugs* no this is not pity lol


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Jonman
post May 19 2003, 06:21 AM
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Welcome to Life ™ Lo.

Sometimes it sucks. sometimes it's wunderbar. I kinda know where you're coming from though. Last Christmas, I went down to the pub I used to drink in back at home. Most of my old buddies were there (it's an unofficial gathering place every Christmas Eve to catch up with folks). And boy did we feel old, as all the 17 year old kiddies were strutting around, trying to impress the 16 year old girlies with how grown-up they were.

Sounds like a transitional phase, where you've outgrown childish things, but are still surrounded by childish folk.

It'll pass, I'm sure.

P.S. California's blinkin' toasty compared with the Northwest. And gotta love that LA smog. Mm, smells good.... *cough*


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poppa.moo
post May 19 2003, 07:29 AM
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That's just how i feel when i wake up each day, was it Chris Rea that sang 'Road To Nowhere'?


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And when I vest my flashing sword,
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I will take vengeance upon mine enemies
And I will repay those who hase me.
O Lord, raise me to Thy right hand,
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hinsley
post May 19 2003, 07:32 AM
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ello susan. hows u?


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poppa.moo
post May 19 2003, 07:43 AM
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ello hinsley, i'm just super thanks. Good w/e?


--------------------
And when I vest my flashing sword,
And my hand takes hold in judgment
I will take vengeance upon mine enemies
And I will repay those who hase me.
O Lord, raise me to Thy right hand,
And count me among Thy Saints.
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the lil' pie...
post May 19 2003, 10:25 AM
Post #11


Don't you just love hot water bottles?
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QUOTE (poppa.moo @ May 19 2003, 08:29 AM)
That's just how i feel when i wake up each day, was it Chris Rea that sang 'Road To Nowhere'?

i think so....id have to ask my dad laugh.gif


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poppa.moo
post May 19 2003, 10:26 AM
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Phlurp!
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Now i feel old! laugh.gif


--------------------
And when I vest my flashing sword,
And my hand takes hold in judgment
I will take vengeance upon mine enemies
And I will repay those who hase me.
O Lord, raise me to Thy right hand,
And count me among Thy Saints.
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the lil' pie...
post May 19 2003, 10:27 AM
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Don't you just love hot water bottles?
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hehe and i feel quite small!


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It's not so bad being trendy, everyone who looks like me is my friend...

SHINY...

Freshers Flu is a buttmunch.
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poppa.moo
post May 19 2003, 10:27 AM
Post #14


Phlurp!
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why small?


--------------------
And when I vest my flashing sword,
And my hand takes hold in judgment
I will take vengeance upon mine enemies
And I will repay those who hase me.
O Lord, raise me to Thy right hand,
And count me among Thy Saints.
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the lil' pie...
post May 19 2003, 10:33 AM
Post #15


Don't you just love hot water bottles?
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because im soo short! and i think younger than a lot of people on here sad.gif


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It's not so bad being trendy, everyone who looks like me is my friend...

SHINY...

Freshers Flu is a buttmunch.
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poppa.moo
post May 19 2003, 10:34 AM
Post #16


Phlurp!
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awww, poor fairy, doesn't stop you being super though! biggrin.gif


--------------------
And when I vest my flashing sword,
And my hand takes hold in judgment
I will take vengeance upon mine enemies
And I will repay those who hase me.
O Lord, raise me to Thy right hand,
And count me among Thy Saints.
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the lil' pie...
post May 19 2003, 10:35 AM
Post #17


Don't you just love hot water bottles?
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laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif

i feel better! *hugs*


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It's not so bad being trendy, everyone who looks like me is my friend...

SHINY...

Freshers Flu is a buttmunch.
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poppa.moo
post May 19 2003, 10:37 AM
Post #18


Phlurp!
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Then the post was worth while! *Hugs* back.


--------------------
And when I vest my flashing sword,
And my hand takes hold in judgment
I will take vengeance upon mine enemies
And I will repay those who hase me.
O Lord, raise me to Thy right hand,
And count me among Thy Saints.
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the lil' pie...
post May 19 2003, 10:39 AM
Post #19


Don't you just love hot water bottles?
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spread the love people, come on.... laugh.gif


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It's not so bad being trendy, everyone who looks like me is my friend...

SHINY...

Freshers Flu is a buttmunch.
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LoLo
post May 19 2003, 05:02 PM
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Kiefer > Jason
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This made me feel a little bit better yesterday, so I thought I would follow it up with another about my day today. And yes Jonman it has finally started getting warm in Cali, but the smog up north here isn't as bad as LA.

Today I woke up and was feeling quite odd. Probably because I wore my plumber butt sweats (pants that expose the top of your buttocks when bending over) to bed last night, and when I awoke they had fallen down and pulled my undies down with them so far that I was mooning my bedroom. Must have been a funny site. Anyhow I wanted to break my alarm clock because it wasnít even waking up the sun, just me, and I wasnít in the mood for school today, but like most days I went. So I daydream almost all the way to school, Iím not sure exactly what I was even thinking about, just that when I arrived an hour after my departure that I barely even recalled the trip there. I just have this feeling in my head that this day is going to be odd for me and in fact it was. I went to my first class, and that was normal. Then I make my way into history class. This guy I had noticed in class before but never truly seen, because I had been clouded by my infatuation with Kiefer guy, comes in and all I can think to myself is, ďGod he looks beautiful today.Ē He was wearing a tight black shirt with white stitching, and a pair of black pants, that just made his spiky red hair seem to glow. I donít know maybe it caught my attention because I have a thing for guys dressed all in black. Anyways back to the story, I just keep staring at him as he sits at the front of the row to the left of me, and am just dumbfounded by how good he looks. (I always sit in the last seat in the second row to the left if anyone is curious.) So my teacher decides to give us a group quiz, and somehow in the numbering I end up in the same group with this guy. We sit there and take the quiz, and every time I look up heís staring at me and flashes me a little smile. When we got done we all talked, except him, but he did throw in a laugh here or there, mostly at things I said. He even giggled when we were talking about the tests and I almost made the girl next to me cry, because she had studied so much for the last test and I said I bsed my way through it with a migraine and pulled off a B, and she only got a C. So now I just donít know what to do. My normal reaction would be to scheme up some way to get this guys attention on Friday, but I swore all that off awhile back, and I really donít want to do that. Plus we only have one class left, which is the day of the final, so whatís the point in trying anything? I guess Iíll just take my test and move on with my life, but bah it pisses me off that now I notice a guy who seems to be attracted to me, unless Iím wrong and heís just nice.


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LoLo
post May 19 2003, 10:11 PM
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Kiefer > Jason
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one day in my head was too much for people.....lol


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Industrial Kybos...
post May 19 2003, 10:28 PM
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QUOTE (poppa.moo @ May 19 2003, 08:29 AM)
That's just how i feel when i wake up each day, was it Chris Rea that sang 'Road To Nowhere'?

Chris Rea sang 'Road To Hell'

Talking Heads sang 'Road To Nowhere'

wink.gif

Good tunes both...

Monjan's story rings true with me too. The pub that I drank in during my college days is always full of 17-year-olds now. Of course, it always was, but when I was 17 I didn't notice...

And, damn Kiefer guy for only just noticing you Lo! Fool!

You'll get him Lo... one day.... somehow...


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LoLo
post May 19 2003, 10:30 PM
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Inky kiefer guy has yet to acknowledge to me that he noticed me.........the guy I was talking about was a red haired goth boy whos totally different. lol


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racingaway13
post May 19 2003, 10:30 PM
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theres a chance im dead... 25Ę a poke!
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*sigh* lolo, that isnt too bad, how would you like to wake up every day and have absolutely no freedom to do anything at all, you cant go and do things, you have to go to school, go to class, go everywhere because they are all watching you and you just cant do what you really want to.... thats how it is for a pre-16 teen without any good friends that are 16.... damn driving age.... and then you say "what about public transportation?" well ya know what?!?! it doesnt go out to here, and you know what else is annoying!?!? had i still lived in my old town, i would be able to get a few friends together and go on the subway all around DC but noooooooo we had to MOVE!!! DAMN MOVING!!!! DAMN THIS CRAPPY CITY!!!! DAMN THIS ALL!!! i just wanna be back in my old town with my friends with the subway and i wanna be able to go places and see people and do things


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caffine is truely good for you *starts twitching uncontrollably*
this sig is best viewed using notepad...i do this because no one wants to read my stupid crap

ok so on to the party affiliations....
i now have a noob!!! yay! zoey yay! you came to the forums! hehehe, and im one step up, i already know her! go zoey go! be anti-social in a social setting!i have an e-sister!!! yay!!! go raven!!! i used to be married to ninja kitty but she abandoned me so now my e-wife is kawaii neko who is hot and sexy. rawr
i have no anti noob, PM me for anti adoption possiabilities i have no life, PM me for donations
i do in fact have a vodka imp!! YAY!! shes called yodel and lives in my computer case
i do in fact also have cult of my own, its the -ness cult so join so that we can spite those -ish barbarians
i have a acid bunny that gives me trips and trips to las vegas... his name is Dr Gonzo and i need to rent a convertable...
i am a proud member of the mr SB death cult and i have the smitemaster to prove it
i have seized craziness as a minion, i dont care what she grumbles and such, i seized her and i dont see anything in the geneva convention otherwise
im writing alot now, so be happy you know alot about what great humanitarian efforts i have made in this forum!
also, go to My blog
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Industrial Kybos...
post May 19 2003, 10:32 PM
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dry.gif

Fine... my damn brain's packed in for the night...

*sigh*

One day I'll go a whole day without saying something stupid...


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