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> Ask Travis, Infamous Advice
The Travis
post Dec 27 2005, 09:27 PM
Post #1


Worrying
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Hello there fools and foolettes. Are you having problems? Got a tough question? Want to know if your bum really looks big in those pants? Well have no fear, The Travis is here. You ask 'em, and I'll answer 'em. And all answers are 100% correct, 3% of the time.

So stop reading this and ask away!


--------------------
What do you mean you don't know me? I'm in IRC all the time.
QUOTE(The Lorax @ Jan 12 2006, 11:51 PM)
QUOTE(The Travis @ Dec 29 2005, 05:52 PM)
HAY GUYS WUTS GOIN ON IN TEH INTRANET!!!???!?!??!??!?!?!???!??[right][snapback]327211[/snapback][/right]
I. Love. You.
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PsychWardMike
post Dec 27 2005, 09:31 PM
Post #2


I'm attracted by the potential for reckless abuse of power.
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Never! Mah agony uncle demands my question posing business!

*runs off crying, streaking*


--------------------
I'm just a Viewtiful Girl living in a Viewtiful World.
Henshin a-go-go, baby.

I swear to God, the above post was not intended to incite flame wars or to offend you.
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The Travis
post Dec 27 2005, 09:35 PM
Post #3


Worrying
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I think you should you talk to him about this. Go to his house, sit down, and have a serious talk till the early morning. Then when he falls asleep, tie him to the furnace and rob the hell out of him.


--------------------
What do you mean you don't know me? I'm in IRC all the time.
QUOTE(The Lorax @ Jan 12 2006, 11:51 PM)
QUOTE(The Travis @ Dec 29 2005, 05:52 PM)
HAY GUYS WUTS GOIN ON IN TEH INTRANET!!!???!?!??!??!?!?!???!??[right][snapback]327211[/snapback][/right]
I. Love. You.
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PsychWardMike
post Dec 27 2005, 10:19 PM
Post #4


I'm attracted by the potential for reckless abuse of power.
************

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But... I love Jonman. He turned me on to the entire Nippon Ichi scene. I loves Phantom Brave! I loves it hard!

*more crying, streaking*


--------------------
I'm just a Viewtiful Girl living in a Viewtiful World.
Henshin a-go-go, baby.

I swear to God, the above post was not intended to incite flame wars or to offend you.
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Usurper MrTeapot
post Dec 27 2005, 11:04 PM
Post #5


Samauri Teapain
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Death to the false prophet!


--------------------
@>-'--,--Cath and gothictheysay are my E-Teapotettes.@>-'--,--
Jaq and believe are my adopted Tea Spoons (wherever they are :'( )
"I am just a worthless liar, I am just an imbecile, I will only complicate you, trust in me and fall aswell."
A proud Viking never stops masturbating.
Taking over Matazone Forums since 2011.
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The Travis
post Dec 27 2005, 11:26 PM
Post #6


Worrying
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QUOTE (MrTeapot @ Dec 27 2005, 05:04 PM)
Death to the false prophet!
*



I recommend soaking it in hot water and then feeding it to a rabid monkey. Wait, what's a prophet again?


--------------------
What do you mean you don't know me? I'm in IRC all the time.
QUOTE(The Lorax @ Jan 12 2006, 11:51 PM)
QUOTE(The Travis @ Dec 29 2005, 05:52 PM)
HAY GUYS WUTS GOIN ON IN TEH INTRANET!!!???!?!??!??!?!?!???!??[right][snapback]327211[/snapback][/right]
I. Love. You.
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Mittens322
post Dec 31 2005, 05:33 AM
Post #7


Hoo-ha!
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Have you ever copywrited?


--------------------
Been to the funny farm lately? I have!
FF doesn't mean Final Fantasy.
!SLIPKNOT RULES! KoRn, too.
Go to hell.
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The Travis
post Dec 31 2005, 11:53 PM
Post #8


Worrying
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I myself have never done that. There are two reasons for this-

1. Nothing I have ever written is good enough to be copied by someone else.

2. Nothing I have ever written is good enough to be copied by someone else.

3. Profit!!!

If someone ever steals what I have written and manages to sell it to someone who thinks half-retarded fart jokes are comedy gold, I will give them a pat on the back. Then I'll kill them and take the money. Then I'll hide the body in a TV, because who would think to look for a body in a TV?


Batman, that's who.


--------------------
What do you mean you don't know me? I'm in IRC all the time.
QUOTE(The Lorax @ Jan 12 2006, 11:51 PM)
QUOTE(The Travis @ Dec 29 2005, 05:52 PM)
HAY GUYS WUTS GOIN ON IN TEH INTRANET!!!???!?!??!??!?!?!???!??[right][snapback]327211[/snapback][/right]
I. Love. You.
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Novander
post Jan 6 2006, 09:41 PM
Post #9


Take apart your head
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I have a question... why are you never on IRC when I am?

*pout*

snoo (probably not logged in as such)


--------------------
IPB Image
I exist on Last.fm, LiveJournal and Facebook. And occasionally in Real Life.
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The Travis
post Jan 7 2006, 12:23 AM
Post #10


Worrying
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Joined: 26-November 05
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Dearest Snoo,

My heart hath ached for thine's post. Thee reason that thou and thine art never ineth IRC at thee same timeth is doth-

If we are ever in the same place at the same time one of two things would happen-

1. The universe would implode due to so much awesome being in the same place. It would cause a black hole that would just expand until nothing remained.

2. It'd go something like this-
Travis- "Hey Snoo, I've missed you."
Snoo- "Hi....Trav? I guess I sort of missed you too...?"
Travis- "Oh yeah you did. Wow it's so great to see you."
Snoo- "Honestly, do I know you?"
Travis- "Yeah, remember? The guy with the hair, and the shirts, and stuff."
Snoo- "OH! You're the guy who keeps sending me those pictures!"
Travis- "Heheh yep."
Snoo- Sets mode +*ban Travis@TravisIPADDRESS and kicks Travis into space forever.


--------------------
What do you mean you don't know me? I'm in IRC all the time.
QUOTE(The Lorax @ Jan 12 2006, 11:51 PM)
QUOTE(The Travis @ Dec 29 2005, 05:52 PM)
HAY GUYS WUTS GOIN ON IN TEH INTRANET!!!???!?!??!??!?!?!???!??[right][snapback]327211[/snapback][/right]
I. Love. You.
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trunks_girl26
post Jan 7 2006, 12:27 AM
Post #11


o_O
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How *did* you get to be so darn handsome there, Travis? wink.gif


--------------------
The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return -Moulin Rouge
"Religion is a finger pointing ot the moon, but some people confuse the finger with the moon."
Truth is subjectivity - Kierkegaard
"I don't know anything; I never knew anything, but now I know I don't know"
"The important thing isn't to know Jesus, Mohamed or Buddah, but to know what they know"
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The Travis
post Jan 7 2006, 12:36 AM
Post #12


Worrying
*****

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Posts: 146
Joined: 26-November 05
From: Inside your moniter
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Its very simple. Some people think in order to look this good you have to capture a magical wizard in some sort of wizard trap, then force him to magic you up some magical good looks. This doesn't work because wizards can and will kill you.

Remember kids, be smart, be safe, wizards kill.

Other people thinks that to be good looking you have to eat other, better looking people. This doesn't work because people are big, and if you eat them you will get very full. Then you'll have to run from the cops and have a heart attack.

Remember kids, don't drink, don't smoke, don't run.

No, people have tried many things to be as good looking as I am. The only way to do it is *sees a shiny thing on the floor and runs to get it*


--------------------
What do you mean you don't know me? I'm in IRC all the time.
QUOTE(The Lorax @ Jan 12 2006, 11:51 PM)
QUOTE(The Travis @ Dec 29 2005, 05:52 PM)
HAY GUYS WUTS GOIN ON IN TEH INTRANET!!!???!?!??!??!?!?!???!??[right][snapback]327211[/snapback][/right]
I. Love. You.
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Usurper MrTeapot
post Jan 7 2006, 01:19 AM
Post #13


Samauri Teapain
************

Group: Established Members
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From: In a Cardboard box under my bed.
Member No.: 844
Gender: Male



Dear Travis.

Was that you outside in my bushes just a minute ago? I am certain because you were wearing the same hat as your avatar.

Yours

A worried Teapot.


--------------------
@>-'--,--Cath and gothictheysay are my E-Teapotettes.@>-'--,--
Jaq and believe are my adopted Tea Spoons (wherever they are :'( )
"I am just a worthless liar, I am just an imbecile, I will only complicate you, trust in me and fall aswell."
A proud Viking never stops masturbating.
Taking over Matazone Forums since 2011.
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The Travis
post Jan 7 2006, 01:27 AM
Post #14


Worrying
*****

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Posts: 146
Joined: 26-November 05
From: Inside your moniter
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Gender: Male



That... that was a ninja raccoon. Yes, without a doubt. Ninja raccoon. They often wear hats to confuse prey and scare off predators. And also I don't even know where you live. Nor do I call you constantly, breathe heavily, and hang up. If that's happening to you, it's probably a ... midget. Yes.

NEXT QUESTION!


--------------------
What do you mean you don't know me? I'm in IRC all the time.
QUOTE(The Lorax @ Jan 12 2006, 11:51 PM)
QUOTE(The Travis @ Dec 29 2005, 05:52 PM)
HAY GUYS WUTS GOIN ON IN TEH INTRANET!!!???!?!??!??!?!?!???!??[right][snapback]327211[/snapback][/right]
I. Love. You.
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The Lorax
post Jan 7 2006, 01:41 AM
Post #15


Superterriffic.
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*sexy voice* Will you love me like no other man has loved me before? tongue.gif


--------------------
[center]Lets all get drunk, tonight.[/center]
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The Travis
post Jan 7 2006, 01:59 AM
Post #16


Worrying
*****

Group: Established Members
Posts: 146
Joined: 26-November 05
From: Inside your moniter
Member No.: 2,131
Gender: Male



*melts*

Uh... ye...ye-ye-y-yyyy-YES!


--------------------
What do you mean you don't know me? I'm in IRC all the time.
QUOTE(The Lorax @ Jan 12 2006, 11:51 PM)
QUOTE(The Travis @ Dec 29 2005, 05:52 PM)
HAY GUYS WUTS GOIN ON IN TEH INTRANET!!!???!?!??!??!?!?!???!??[right][snapback]327211[/snapback][/right]
I. Love. You.
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gothictheysay
post Jan 7 2006, 05:04 PM
Post #17


living in your basement, eating your candy hearts
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Will you be careful with my nooby there? ohmy.gif


--------------------
Being corrupted by candice since 2004
teal and orange is the way forward
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Phyllis
post Jan 7 2006, 08:46 PM
Post #18


Candbrush Threepwood
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From: Derby
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Dearest Travis,

Did you know that The Lorax is, in fact, jailbait?

Yours,
A friend who does not want to see you imprisoned. tongue.gif


--------------------
I love you in a way that is mystical and eternal and illegal in 20 states.
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The Travis
post Jan 7 2006, 10:26 PM
Post #19


Worrying
*****

Group: Established Members
Posts: 146
Joined: 26-November 05
From: Inside your moniter
Member No.: 2,131
Gender: Male



QUOTE (gothictheysay @ Jan 7 2006, 11:04 AM)
Will you be careful with my nooby there? ohmy.gif
*


You know that question can only be answered with HUGS! Lots and lots of HUGS!! C'mere.


QUOTE (candice @ Jan 7 2006, 02:46 PM)
Dearest Travis,

Did you know that The Lorax is, in fact, jailbait?

Yours,
A friend who does not want to see you imprisoned.  tongue.gif
*


Well I do now. *shakes fist at age*

P.S. HUGS to you too!!!


--------------------
What do you mean you don't know me? I'm in IRC all the time.
QUOTE(The Lorax @ Jan 12 2006, 11:51 PM)
QUOTE(The Travis @ Dec 29 2005, 05:52 PM)
HAY GUYS WUTS GOIN ON IN TEH INTRANET!!!???!?!??!??!?!?!???!??[right][snapback]327211[/snapback][/right]
I. Love. You.
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Usurper MrTeapot
post Jan 8 2006, 04:00 PM
Post #20


Samauri Teapain
************

Group: Established Members
Posts: 2,172
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From: In a Cardboard box under my bed.
Member No.: 844
Gender: Male



Just a few weeks and she'll be legal over here.

Yo, Lorax, wanna come to England for a bit? *sweet smile, offers cookies*


--------------------
@>-'--,--Cath and gothictheysay are my E-Teapotettes.@>-'--,--
Jaq and believe are my adopted Tea Spoons (wherever they are :'( )
"I am just a worthless liar, I am just an imbecile, I will only complicate you, trust in me and fall aswell."
A proud Viking never stops masturbating.
Taking over Matazone Forums since 2011.
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The Travis
post Jan 8 2006, 10:32 PM
Post #21


Worrying
*****

Group: Established Members
Posts: 146
Joined: 26-November 05
From: Inside your moniter
Member No.: 2,131
Gender: Male



Hey! No hitting on Lorax in my thread. Only I can do that.

*does his sexy look*


--------------------
What do you mean you don't know me? I'm in IRC all the time.
QUOTE(The Lorax @ Jan 12 2006, 11:51 PM)
QUOTE(The Travis @ Dec 29 2005, 05:52 PM)
HAY GUYS WUTS GOIN ON IN TEH INTRANET!!!???!?!??!??!?!?!???!??[right][snapback]327211[/snapback][/right]
I. Love. You.
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Daria
post Jan 9 2006, 08:39 PM
Post #22


Wait for the uprising
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Dear Travis- which Teletubby was truely gay?

Yours,
Daria


--------------------
We are unraveling our navels so that we may ingest the sun.

DARIA IZ GOOD ON TOAST

TOAST IZ GOOD ON DARIA
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The Travis
post Jan 10 2006, 12:32 AM
Post #23


Worrying
*****

Group: Established Members
Posts: 146
Joined: 26-November 05
From: Inside your moniter
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Daria-

To answer your question, I set out on a quest. A quest that led me to Happy Fun Super Great Awesome Time Land. Don't let the name fool you though, its actually a nice place. I made my way across the land until I came up the home of these... uh... whatever they are.

I first came upon the Red one. I decided to test him with a simple word association test.

Trav- Ok, Red. I'm going to say a word and you say the first thing that comes to your mind.

Red- Banna!

Trav-.... Alright.... Here we go. Rope.

Red- Food!

Trav- You would say that, wouldn't you? You sicko, you disgust me.

Red was obviously gay. Next I stumbled upon the Yellow one trying to catch a butterfly.

Trav- Hey Yellow thing, what do you plan to do to that butterfly when you catch it?

Yellow- Play!

Trav- You hideous pervert. STAY AWAY FROM ME!

Yellow was even gayer than Red. This was getting ugly, and fast. I decided to press on, and soon came across Green guy eating what appeared to be air.

Trav- You know, Green guy, I've heard that eating air is a clear sign of homosexuality. What do you have to say about that?

Green- Farm!

Trav- A farm of GAY no doubt! You wierdos are all alike.

That's when I ran. I ran so far away. Like a flock of seagulls. I needed to get out of there fast. But before I did, I ran into Purple. I almost ran past him, but then I thought of Daria. I thought of the time she pulled me out of a burning car just before it exploded. I owed this to her.

Trav- So... how about those sports?

Purple- I like men you know.

I then exploded. Not to death though, just enough to get me back home. Don't ask me how that works, its one of the few things I don't know...

But to answer your question Daria- All of them. A lot. Way lots.


--------------------
What do you mean you don't know me? I'm in IRC all the time.
QUOTE(The Lorax @ Jan 12 2006, 11:51 PM)
QUOTE(The Travis @ Dec 29 2005, 05:52 PM)
HAY GUYS WUTS GOIN ON IN TEH INTRANET!!!???!?!??!??!?!?!???!??[right][snapback]327211[/snapback][/right]
I. Love. You.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
The Lorax
post Jan 10 2006, 12:40 AM
Post #24


Superterriffic.
*******

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Gender: Female



QUOTE (MrTeapot @ Jan 8 2006, 09:00 AM)
Just a few weeks and she'll be legal over here.

Yo, Lorax, wanna come to England for a bit? *sweet smile, offers cookies*
*



Sure, Teapot....


...But it wouldn't make boyfriend too happy.


--------------------
[center]Lets all get drunk, tonight.[/center]
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Usurper MrTeapot
post Jan 10 2006, 12:54 AM
Post #25


Samauri Teapain
************

Group: Established Members
Posts: 2,172
Joined: 3-January 04
From: In a Cardboard box under my bed.
Member No.: 844
Gender: Male



Tell him he can come too.


--------------------
@>-'--,--Cath and gothictheysay are my E-Teapotettes.@>-'--,--
Jaq and believe are my adopted Tea Spoons (wherever they are :'( )
"I am just a worthless liar, I am just an imbecile, I will only complicate you, trust in me and fall aswell."
A proud Viking never stops masturbating.
Taking over Matazone Forums since 2011.
Go to the top of the page
 
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