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> Question for those who have step-parents...
FeralPolyglot
post Mar 17 2006, 07:10 PM
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I wasn't sure exactly where to put this so I stuck it here. Yesterday, my step-mom and I had a long-overdue conversation during the course of which she told me a lot of how she feels about some things.

As to save you from me yapping your ears to rags, I'll get to the question/point of this post. If you or someone you know has step parents, what does the step-child call the step-parent? Do they refer to her/him as Mom/Dad? Do they use their first name?

Just curious on how other members of "integrated" families assign appellations.


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bryden42
post Mar 17 2006, 07:21 PM
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QUOTE (FeralPolyglot @ Mar 17 2006, 08:10 PM)
I wasn't sure exactly where to put this so I stuck it here.  Yesterday, my step-mom and I had a long-overdue conversation during the course of which she told me a lot of how she feels about some things. 

As to save you from me yapping your ears to rags, I'll get to the question/point of this post.  If you or someone you know has step parents, what does the step-child call the step-parent?  Do they refer to her/him as Mom/Dad?  Do they use their first name? 

Just curious on how other members of "integrated" families assign appellations.
*


I have both a step father and mother and have had 2 previous step fathers, I have refered to them all by their names.


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acid_rain_child
post Mar 17 2006, 08:15 PM
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I have a step mother, a step father and two step grandmothers.

I truly dislike my stepfather, so I refuse to call him "Dad" or any variation thereof, so I call him Eddie. They've never pressed the issue.

I call my stepmother Ms. Sandy because my father told me to when we first met about 12 years ago, because he called his stepmother Ms. Rita, and I guess he found it proper.

My step grandmothers are stange, I guess. The one, I just call Susan, but her husband, my real grandfather, I call Dadin, and his first wife, my real grandmother, I call Mams. So I don't have conventional names for my grandparents anyway. The other one I call Meemaw, but that's because it goes with Papaw so nicely.

It's really up to you to decide what you want to call your stepmother, but if you like her and she has a preference, maybe it'd be better to do as she wants.


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Daria
post Mar 17 2006, 09:36 PM
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I call my step-dad by his name. He and my mum aren't married, and I could call him dad if I wanted to. But I don't see "dad" as what you call a father figure, I see it as a person, which makes me not want to call my step-dad "dad". I also call his parents by their names.

It is odd though. I have known my step-dad and his parents since I was born- he was friends with my dad since they were 14ish, and has always been "part" of the family. (Its funny how things turn out in the end...)
Thats mainly why I just call him by his name, as he has always been known as that.


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zivane
post Mar 17 2006, 10:32 PM
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I called my mother's third husband by Dad. Then again, I never really knew any of the previous so it made sense.


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MrRandomQuotes
post Mar 20 2006, 01:10 AM
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I call my step mum and dad by their first name. But then I also cal my mum by her first name (we've never been that close). My grandparents and my dad all get called normal things (ie dad, nan ect)

I guess it just depends on when thy come into your life. *shrugs*


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Kitty
post Mar 20 2006, 01:35 AM
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I never found it weird to call your step parents by their first names. I've never had a step parent, but unless they really did take the place of a boilogical parent, then I would probably call them mum/dad.

I have alternate parents, they're my best friends parents and are always there for me if I need them, and they treat me like their own daughter. I call one of them Mum, but thats mostly because thats what most people call her. The other one I dont call anything because when we talk, its a mutual thing, not a "HEY!" thing.


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MistressAlti
post Mar 20 2006, 03:28 PM
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Yeah, I call my stepfather by his first name as well. Seemed a whole lot less awkward than trying a kinship title by this stage of my life.
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Ashbless
post Mar 22 2006, 01:38 AM
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I use my stepmother's first name when addressing her. I will NEVER call her mother but that's another story.


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Ign355
post Mar 24 2006, 05:54 PM
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QUOTE (FeralPolyglot @ Mar 17 2006, 12:10 PM)
I wasn't sure exactly where to put this so I stuck it here.  Yesterday, my step-mom and I had a long-overdue conversation during the course of which she told me a lot of how she feels about some things. 

As to save you from me yapping your ears to rags, I'll get to the question/point of this post.  If you or someone you know has step parents, what does the step-child call the step-parent?  Do they refer to her/him as Mom/Dad?  Do they use their first name? 

Just curious on how other members of "integrated" families assign appellations.
*


it all really depends on how well or close u feel, because ive had 3 step mothers blink.gif and the first i called by her first name, we were never close, the second and third ones i called mom, because i was more close to them and understood them. i hope that helps you


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{Gothic Angel}
post Mar 25 2006, 03:37 PM
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I call my dad's partner Mim and my mum's Steve. Neither of them are step-parents, but in the event of either of the couples getting married, I will continue to call them Mim and Steve. Without teenage angst - why should I call them Mum or Dad? They aren't my parents, my parents are both still around, and tbh, they don't exactly perform the roles of parents. It would be an incorrect label.


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The Travis
post Mar 28 2006, 05:54 AM
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I was forced to call my step-mom "mom". Holy hell, I hated it every time I said it. But that's probably only because she was Satan and evil in every way.

I say it's up to you. Whatever you feel comfortable with. And if someone has a problem with it, I'll punch their head off and eat their face.

<3


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FeralPolyglot
post Mar 28 2006, 07:28 AM
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Aww, thanks The_Travis. smile.gif

Well, I'm still interested in hearing what people have to say but I'll say what I've been doing with my step-parents. I started out calling my first step-father by his first name but then my mom suggested calling him Dad so me and my sister did. Then when they divorced I went back to referring to him by his first name (though I haven't seen him in five years or more.) I've always called my step-mother by her first name but that may be because in part I didn't exactly fancy her too much back when I was in High School. My mom's current husband will always be referred to by his first name because they just married in June and I don't know him well enough to call him much else.

Thank-you, everyone, for your contributions. It's interesting to get a glimpse of how other families' relationships are managed. happy.gif


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"Be the change that you want to see in the world." -Mohandas Gandhi
"We do not inherit the land from our fathers, we borrow it from our children." -Native American Proverb
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Pixelgoth
post Mar 29 2006, 07:30 PM
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When my Dad married Gill back in 1997 I made a comment at the wedding about having to call her my step mum now and if looks could kill I'd not be around to type this. Basically I don't think she likes the idea of being anything other than a wife to Dad. Fair enough. She's not my Mum and never will be and I don't think that dynamic was ever going to happen and we're both happy with that as far as I'm aware. I just call her Gill but I call her my step mum to people when I'm explaining to avoid confusion. I don't have a real Mum anymore so it is a shame that she's not more proactive in that area sad.gif


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Daria
post Mar 30 2006, 09:49 AM
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Although I call Keith, Keith, to people who I am explaining things to it is easier to call him my step-dad; even though he and my mum aren't married. It just sounds more definitive and mature than "mum's boyfriend"- and "mum's other half" intonates she isn't a whole without him!


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B.wicked
post Mar 30 2006, 11:51 AM
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that would be up the child if you care for the step parent and dont mind calling them mother/father then go for it , but if it makes you unesy then first name basis is how i would go


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Cassidy
post Mar 31 2006, 01:30 PM
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I call my step dad by his name; Bill; because my dad was a bastard and I will not assiciate the word dad to the nice guy who is my stepdad....
My brother does not remember much about our dad and still has a relationship with him and also calls Bill dad...so my brother now calls two people dad...
my head hurts so I am going to lie down now
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