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> Exams, Best answer you've ever given
Star_of_Lei
post Jun 16 2006, 02:32 PM
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Today I had this PE exam which was pointless as not only do I think that sport is a conspiracy but also as I did Spanish this year, meaning that I'd only had 1 of the required 2 hours of pe this year.

So, because of the above reason when it came to the test I said that there were monkeys in our body that are bad for our health, so exercise puts gorillas inside of us to chase away the monkeys and make us big and strong. No exercise makes hippos which makes us heavy and fat. Then there's the supreme athletes who have cheetahs. However, the cheetah is the most dangerous of all as unless you've climbed to the highest peak and eaten the rarest fruit the cheetah will bespell your doom.

Then when it asked me something about the 2-5-3 formation in football, I said it had to do with chickens.

What I want to know is what strange things you've put on your exam papers.


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Izzy
post Jun 16 2006, 05:32 PM
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Germany > Spain...
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Well, on most of my tests, I'll finish and then just start doodling on the paper. By the time I'm finished, you'll barely be able to see my answers, and there'll be a note from one of my teachers saying " -10 points. STOP DRAWING ON TESTS."..

Then we had this "test" in music, which is the dumbest class cause, we learn to play the dumbest instrument. The recorder..other than it being IMPOSSIBLE to figure out how much air you're supposed to blow, it comes out sounding absolutely retarded even if it is right. Well, for the "test" we had to write about this one feild trip we went to. It's a feild trip we do everyyear since our first year of school, and every one hates it. So I wrote "I find the Bob Car incredibly boring. I hope we don't go next year. Especially when the music dude started going into the really slow part and was all like "lalalalalla". Please don't make us go next year.". Then we had to draw a picture on the back.....I'm not even gonna get into detail about the picture. laugh.gif...Well, I got the "test" back with a 70%, and a note telling me to add details. Still have it, lol.


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Moosh
post Jun 16 2006, 07:08 PM
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Today in my physics exam I got quite annoyed beacuse they'd written the same, irrelavent question on three different papers.

Q: How could Geiger and Marsden have communicated their results to other scientists, including Rutherford?

A: Similarly to the scientists in the question on the Chemistry paper (Mod 9+10) and the Physics paper (Mod 5+6), Geiger and Marsden could have published their results as a paper in a scientific journal. Although in this case, if they wanted to communicate their results to Rutherford, they could have simply spoken to him, as they were working in the same laboratory in the Physics Department at the University of Manchester at the time.

This was a one mark question on Physics (Mod 17+18) for reference.


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I_am_the_best
post Jun 16 2006, 07:54 PM
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I didn't revise for a Latin test. I wrote that I was praised in the Caesareum and that it was famous for being very big. Infact, I wrote that most things were famous and important for being big.

In Year 7 I wrote a little piece at the end of my exam arguing against exams. Luckily I didn't get into trouble.

Ah yes, then in my music exam I wrote didn't know the names of any of Purcell's pieces and so I invented a few and when the teacher enquired I just nodded and told him that they had only been recently discovered and the original manuscripts were being auctioned on eBay - I got the marks! Heh.


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"Music is a moral law. It gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, a charm to sadness, gaiety and life to everything. It is the essence of order, and leads to all that is good, just and beautiful, of which it is the invisible, but nevertheless dazzling, passionate, and eternal form." - Plato
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monkey_called_na...
post Jun 16 2006, 08:09 PM
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I'm an inefficient bear. Maul.
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us constitution test:

whenever the persident and vice president are both killed who is called to office next?

my answer: me damnit, i want to be president.

teacher didnt seem to mind, but i did get enough questions right tht it didnt matter that i missed this one.


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Daria
post Jun 16 2006, 08:16 PM
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In two recent essays I had to write for General Studies. I wrote these two things;


"We have chosen a global religion and style is our bible"

And as a closing paragraph in the second;
"Music has the ability to reduce us to mere animals. Hey, hey, We're the Monkees."


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Moosh
post Jun 16 2006, 08:21 PM
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QUOTE (Daria @ Jun 16 2006, 09:16 PM) *
"Music has the ability to reduce us to mere animals. Hey, hey, We're the Monkees."


LMFAO

/spam


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Daria
post Jun 16 2006, 08:36 PM
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It was in answer to "Explain and describe how music affects us differently- emotionaly, psychologically and physiologically".

Oh, and for the first one, I put a foot-note saying that the quote is actually "opiate for the masses" not "opium for the masses" as they had mis-quoted Marx.


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CrazyFooIAintGet...
post Jun 17 2006, 12:21 PM
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Has been kidnapped by gerbils and forced to post on here repeatedly
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today I had to resort to "magical algebra" when I was proving something in my theoretical physics exam unsure.gif


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Moosh
post Jun 17 2006, 12:36 PM
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QUOTE (Daria @ Jun 16 2006, 09:36 PM) *
Oh, and for the first one, I put a foot-note saying that the quote is actually "opiate for the masses" not "opium for the masses" as they had mis-quoted Marx.


Isn't it "opiate of the masses"? and yes, the misquote really annoyed a number of my friends who took that exam.


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{Gothic Angel}
post Jun 17 2006, 10:01 PM
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My Chemistry teacher is fond of telling us about one occasion when a student answered the question "Name an element." with "I name this element Arthur."

There was also an A level question about the possible industrial use of some stupid quantity of plaster. Someone actually got the mark, after much debating of examiners for the answer "To sell to an international gnome manufacturer."


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Moosh
post Jun 17 2006, 10:08 PM
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http://www.business.uiuc.edu/broker/exam-phs.htm


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Greeneyes
post Jun 17 2006, 10:17 PM
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One the questions in a physics exam I just took wanted to know two things that would affect the measurement of mass of the original kilogram. I was stuck for a second answer so suggested that the kilogram might, in fact, be travelling at close to the speed of light.


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elphaba2
post Jun 18 2006, 01:02 AM
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I tend to fill essays for state exams with snarky comments about stupid things (Abraham Lincoln's little-known body odor problem, etc) just to see if the examiners were reading it. And once, stumped on a bio exam, I wrote down that the substance used in--can't recall the name right now, something to do with DNA and reaction plates and goop--DNA electropheresis was it?--was chocolate pudding.

I drew fat little German children dancing in the margins of my French final.


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Sir Psycho Sexy
post Jun 18 2006, 12:31 PM
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I never really did that sorta thing, I remember a friend of mine for chemistry a-level didn't really have a clue so most of the questions got answers like "Because it's magic"...don't think he got a very good mark...


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{Gothic Angel}
post Jun 18 2006, 05:55 PM
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QUOTE
I remember a friend of mine for chemistry a-level didn't really have a clue so most of the questions got answers like "Because it's magic"...don't think he got a very good mark...


Really? Damn. I should do some revision tongue.gif


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Faerieryn
post Jun 19 2006, 04:49 PM
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The closest I ever got to doing things like that was having a migraine and writing illegibly in my physics GCSE exam. A pen pal of mine used to write doen the names of football players when she didn't know the answer to a question eg: At what height does a cat reach terminal velocity? Answer: Wayne Rooney!!


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MonochromeRainbo...
post Jun 19 2006, 06:15 PM
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QUOTE (Daria @ Jun 16 2006, 09:36 PM) *
It was in answer to "Explain and describe how music affects us differently- emotionaly, psychologically and physiologically".

Oh, and for the first one, I put a foot-note saying that the quote is actually "opiate for the masses" not "opium for the masses" as they had mis-quoted Marx.


I did the opium of the masses question... No one I know noticed except Cheese Moose, and he didn't even do the exam blink.gif strange boy. It's quite funny looking at what questions people answer on the General Studies, and how they answer them. You can tell what other subjects they do very easily.
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{Gothic Angel}
post Jun 19 2006, 06:36 PM
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QUOTE (Daria @ Jun 16 2006, 09:36 PM) *
It was in answer to "Explain and describe how music affects us differently- emotionaly, psychologically and physiologically".


I did that one biggrin.gif And MonochromeRainbow: not necissarily - I spent a good few paragraphs talking about pavolv, classical conditioning, and the psychological effect of music. I was so proud, I got it all right and I don't even do psychology happy.gif (My boyfriend does, but that's beside the point tongue.gif)


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Daria
post Jun 20 2006, 11:53 AM
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Heh, I don't do Psychology nor Music, nor RS. I just like to argue about things I am interested in biggrin.gif

Today, I said that wildebeest get haemoglobin from plants. I know it's wrong, but the question just asked for one named protein. Haemoglobin is a protein... They didn't specify it HAD to come from plants. Even though it was about the diet of wildebeest. Ah well.

In the same paper, I also wrote "Lemmings are incestuous. Incest causes genetic deformities. Outsider lemmings with their "new" genes sort of dilute the gene pool of one group and stop all the lemmings from being hideously disformed and all dying." But it was at the side of the page after I had written a sensible answer.


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I_am_the_best
post Jun 20 2006, 04:09 PM
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^ Wildebeests exist?! I thought that they were just a mythical creature with horns and big brown furry coats, like the monsters from 'Where The Wild Things Are'.

I intend to try the 'Cheesecake Challenge' by Sam Hughes, perhaps not in a public exam though.


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"Music is a moral law. It gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, a charm to sadness, gaiety and life to everything. It is the essence of order, and leads to all that is good, just and beautiful, of which it is the invisible, but nevertheless dazzling, passionate, and eternal form." - Plato
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voices_in_my_hea...
post Jun 20 2006, 04:53 PM
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I get on my English teacher's nerves because I always doodle things in the margins of my sentence patterning papers, so she has no room to write in corrections.

One time we had a question on a science test where there was a picture of two dogs pulling on a rope, and it asked if one dog pulled on the rope with a certain amount of force and the rope was moving in his direction at a certain rate, how much force is the other dog using. I couldn't think of an answer and put down "This problem could easily be resolved by buying another toy for the other dog." I then drew in a pair of scissors cutting the rope in half, and a bone beside one of the dogs.

On a test over the Know-Nothing party, a friend of mine put "I know nothing" on anything she didn't know.


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Moosh
post Jun 20 2006, 05:01 PM
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QUOTE (I_am_the_best @ Jun 20 2006, 05:09 PM) *
I intend to try the 'Cheesecake Challenge' by Sam Hughes, perhaps not in a public exam though.


Bah. I totally forgot about the Cheesecake Challenge when doing my exams. I really should have done that.


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{Gothic Angel}
post Jun 20 2006, 06:43 PM
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QUOTE (Daria @ Jun 20 2006, 12:53 PM) *
Today, I said that wildebeest get haemoglobin from plants. I know it's wrong, but the question just asked for one named protein. Haemoglobin is a protein... They didn't specify it HAD to come from plants. Even though it was about the diet of wildebeest. Ah well.

In the same paper, I also wrote "Lemmings are incestuous. Incest causes genetic deformities. Outsider lemmings with their "new" genes sort of dilute the gene pool of one group and stop all the lemmings from being hideously disformed and all dying." But it was at the side of the page after I had written a sensible answer.


There was also a question about a graph which had 2 different lines; one of the protien values of one type of plant (which the wildebeest ate) and one of the mean protien values of all the plants present in the ecosystem over the year. The question asked why the 2 lines were different. Am I the only person who put something along the lines of "Because they represent different things. Idiot."?


I also ended my answer to a question about why a pond full of algae and bacteria for an industrial process had to be warm and shallow with "The algae may be tropical species which do not respond well to cold temperatures, and go on strike from photosynthesis, effectively holding the bacteria hostage." I drew little sunglasses and parasols on the algae as well.


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Daria
post Jun 20 2006, 07:58 PM
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Heh.. err... I put that the mean line was lower as it is the average of all edible plants and some of them could have very very low amounts of protein in them whereas what the wildebeest eat could be relatively high in protein. For the sewage question, I put that the bacteria work at optimum eficiency in warm temperatures (DAMN! I could have put about enzymes. Ah well) and it needs to be shallow so that all the algae has the opprtunity to photosynthesise.

I am not looking forward to Friday's exam though mad.gif


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