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> Rapture ready rules!
Mata
post May 21 2011, 10:22 AM
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I found a 'Rapture ready' forum and I thought I would share their rules. In many respects, I think it may almost be an anti-Matazone!

http://rr-bb.com/showthread.php?2-Board-Ru...nes-for-Posting

Anyway, I think we've got about five and a half hours before the rapture in the UK. Given the likelihood of me floating into the sky later today, I'll see you all tomorrow.


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Moosh
post May 21 2011, 11:44 AM
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QUOTE
No plotting to overthrow the American government.

It amuses me that not only do they feel the need to specify that, they only mind specifically plotting to overthrow the American government. Plotting to overthrow other governments is presumably fine.


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QUOTE (Peter Griffin)
Math, my dear boy, is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology.
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CrazyFooIAintGet...
post May 21 2011, 01:20 PM
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Hey now, some of these are completely reasonable.
QUOTE
[15] No promotion of Mid, Post Tribulation, Prewrath, Partial Rapture, Preterism, or Replacement theology. This board is traditional Pre-Tribulation Rapture, Pre 6 Seals, Pre 70th week, and Pre-Millennial Dispensational of End Times Prophecy. No posting alternative theories from other websites. We believe in a literal 7 year Tribulation period, after the instantaneous Rapture of all regenerated believers in unison, during which God finishes His discipline of Israel, protects Israel, and finalizes His judgments on the unbelieving world. Salvation will remain open to people trusting in Jesus for salvation up to the Second Coming.
No suggestions of living righteously enough for the rapture, or salvation unattainable after the Rapture is allowed.
All discussions on these topics must follow suit. Jesus said we won't know the day nor hour of His return and always be ready keeping watch.


QUOTE (Mata @ May 21 2011, 11:22 AM) *
Anyway, I think we've got about five and a half hours before the rapture in the UK. Given the likelihood of me floating into the sky later today, I'll see you all tomorrow.


You seem to be implying I won't get in either! What terrible treatment we get here, that we may be judged in such an unrighteous manner!


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Tarantio
post May 21 2011, 02:28 PM
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I particularly liked the "no pacifism" rule. The people who crafted that list are... not on the list of people I would like to be around tomorrow. So here's hoping Jesus does steal them away.

EDIT: "[32] This board fully supports Israel occupying the Middle East, Jerusalem, and the Temple Mount area. Posts in support of Islam, the Muslim religion, or factitious Palestinian rights are not tolerated. The world nations are against Israel because the world system is under Satan's control. Posts against Israel defending herself are not tolerated."

Yeah, they need to not be.


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CrazyFooIAintGet...
post May 21 2011, 03:01 PM
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It must be nice to dismiss any one who disagrees with you as being under satan's control. I think I'll try it sometime.


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Mata
post May 21 2011, 03:32 PM
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- Do you have any defence against these accusations, Mr. Foo?

- Yes your honour, the prosecution is under the influence of Satan.

... Actually, that's probably a reasonably fair defence - either you're right, or you're insane, and both a good results in terms of prosecution.


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Cath Sparrow
post May 21 2011, 05:15 PM
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Some how I think I might be skipped over for this alien abduction. Oh well.


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Mata
post May 21 2011, 05:38 PM
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I found a good Bible quote about judgement day... http://www.matazone.co.uk/blog/?p=609

In Mark 13, verse 31 to 34 Jesus says:
QUOTE (Jesus @ 21 A.D., 11:22 AM ish. It was probably a Tuesday)
Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away. But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come.


In other words, there's no way for a Christian man to be able to predict the day of judgement and say that he is keeping true to the teachings of Jesus. Oops.


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vicrawr
post May 22 2011, 01:04 AM
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If you're forcibly taken to Heaven, is it considered Rapeture?
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Mata
post May 22 2011, 09:58 AM
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So far I think I've completely struck out on 'friends who have been raptured'... Is it even a verb?


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Trouble Down Pit: Still updated every Monday and Friday
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The Matazone Corset Shop: Snobz corsets at 10% off their recommended price!
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