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> Relatives Are Horrid, blarg
Phyllis
post Jun 4 2003, 04:44 AM
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about a year ago my uncle and his wife moved into my town. my family moved 300 miles across the state to escape our relatives when i was 16..lol.

anyway, they are extremely rude. they constantly impose, which would be fine, if they were immediate family. they are not. the guy is my dad's half brother by my grandpa's 3rd or 4th wife, who abused my dad when he was a kid. now she comes into town to visit her son. lovely. we barely know them. when they moved here it was maybe the 3rd time i'd met them in my entire life. they also brought my uncle's brother in law, who is...well...creepy. let's just say i would never open my front door to him. his first question to my husband (before he'd even met me) was "have ya gotten candice pregnant yet?"

now it appears that they have befriended the people who live in one of the apartments upstairs from me. i'm trying to stay down so they don't know where i live...ugh. especially the brother in law *shudder*

im seriously wishing that it was possible to pick one's family at this moment.


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leopold
post Jun 4 2003, 06:35 AM
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Corks!! ohmy.gif

I know what ya mean about family, candice... I've divorced meself from mine cos they were so awful, an thankfully they haven't found it necessary to come follow me yet. I hope they don't.

That sounds really sucky... I guess all ya can do is just treat them as strangers (which it sounds pretty much like they are anyway) an tell them to get lost. I know they'll try an pull that "but we're family" crap, but jus remind them that the word is meaningless unless there's some sorta mutual affection there.

/me hugs candice

This place is more of a family to me than any of me RL relatives...


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Mr Fuzzy
post Jun 4 2003, 10:34 AM
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Yipes. Thems some dodgy relatives you have there. Might I suggest slipping them a Mickey Finn next time they visit, and having them shipped to Outer Mongolia?

That probably doesn't help, but a bit of silliness is often in order.


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LoLo
post Jun 4 2003, 02:48 PM
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Best way to be with crappy family like that Cand is to be a complete and total smartass. When they ask Maxx if he's impregnated you, say no he hasn't but that boy that lives down the road is getting really close. I think his sperm is better anyway, so I shall just keep boning him on the side.

That used to work with my dad's family when they still talked to me. Oh I remember when I was 18 and my dad asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I told him I wanted to be a kangaroo. He asked me what a kangaroo was. My dad so smart. lol.

Unfortunatly this doesn't work with my mom's family who I do see, cause they can rip the smart comments right back at me. Or one of my aunts would ask me how "Big" the guy down the street is in comparison to the equivalant to a husband for me lol, if you get my drift.

Anyways thats my advice if you want it. Be a smartass and scare them off. Hopefully theyre not like my moms fam.


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Phyllis
post Jun 4 2003, 04:46 PM
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lmao i dunno if i'm bold enough to say those things, lo. but i'll give it a shot. i dunno how they'd reply, cause they are utterly disgusting together. they're one of those couples that touches a lot and reveals gross little intimate details. blink.gif

shipping them to outer mongolia sounds like a good idea. hmm i'd have some qualms about slipping their children a mickey though. not many, cause they are brats...but a few.

ignoring them seems like the most realistic bet for me...lol. it worked w/ my mom's family. they are awful persistant though. this xmas they wanted us all to spend together...my mom tried to nicely tell them no, that we already had other plans, and my uncle's wife said "well i think steve (my dad) would like to spend the holidays w/ his family! why don't u ask him before u speak?" we're all like...uhm...we ARE his family. this was after 6 months or so of ignoring them as well...lol. i think i'll just try to stay out of the windows when i see them visiting, so they don't realize that i live here.

ty for the sympathy everyone smile.gif


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Mr Fuzzy
post Jun 4 2003, 04:52 PM
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The children are easier... Just let them at the whiskey for a few minutes...


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Phyllis
post Jun 4 2003, 05:01 PM
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lmao...nice.

or i could give them some ny-quil, as i don't have any whiskey on hand.


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LoLo
post Jun 4 2003, 05:21 PM
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If they spot you at your apt, just tell them you are housesitting for a friend.

Horrible people are fun to play with....maybe im just a bad person. lol...........If you like I can contemplate ways to torture (without hurting them) or find things that might shock them coming from you to say to them. lol Or you can just ignore them lol. I'm in a weird mood today so I'm feeling slightly evil. lol


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Phyllis
post Jun 4 2003, 05:25 PM
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lol...ways to torture them might be good, lo.

i get in slightly weird/evil moods every now and then too.


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Mr Fuzzy
post Jun 4 2003, 05:25 PM
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QUOTE (LoLo @ Jun 4 2003, 07:21 PM)
maybe im just a bad person. lol...........

Yes. Bad LoLo! Naughty LoLo! Go sit in the corner and think about what you have done! tongue.gif


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LoLo
post Jun 4 2003, 05:26 PM
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QUOTE (candice @ Jun 4 2003, 10:25 AM)
lol...ways to torture them might be good, lo.

i get in slightly weird/evil moods every now and then too.

I think its after having two sh__ days in a row and now I'm feeling good, it's kind of like the evil scheming lo has popped out, but she's funny. lmao I sound like I suffer from multiple personalities.......maybe I do....lol


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LoLo
post Jun 4 2003, 05:28 PM
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QUOTE (Mr Fuzzy @ Jun 4 2003, 10:25 AM)
QUOTE (LoLo @ Jun 4 2003, 07:21 PM)
maybe im just a bad person. lol...........

Yes. Bad LoLo! Naughty LoLo! Go sit in the corner and think about what you have done! tongue.gif

Dude if I responded to that in the way that I want to I would soooooo be banned........lmao.....im gonna go smoke and get back to my sculpture. I have pictures of the progress though and will post them sometime my afternoon.......to give you an idea of the time.......its 10:35 am here.


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Mr Fuzzy
post Jun 4 2003, 05:32 PM
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OK. I'm nocturnal anyway!


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Tarantio
post Jun 4 2003, 05:40 PM
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i think the line i would probably pull in your place would be... uh...

"no, mister, we actually have condoms that work these days. now go eat some prunes. or would that be classified as cannibalism?"


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Mr Fuzzy
post Jun 4 2003, 05:42 PM
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Lawks! I've not heard anybody referred to as a prune in donkeys years!


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Sun Tsu
post Jun 4 2003, 07:10 PM
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Sorry to hear about that candice.
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LoLo
post Jun 4 2003, 09:14 PM
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I remember this one time when my step sister stepped in front of my game of darts and got one in her neck...that might be fun but that's painful.

Oh get those sucker dart guns (darts with suction cups at the end) then hide behind a bush and just pelt them with the sucker darts when they walk by.

Or or better yet get a super soaker and hide behind a bush and soak them. If you want to make it worse add dye to the water, but that causes damages and you might have to pay to have their clothes cleaned if they catch ya.

Booby trap their newspaper with dye, so when they open it their hands turn purple.

I'm out of ideas for now. lol


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Phyllis
post Jun 4 2003, 09:20 PM
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lmao!

you are one cruel woman, lo.


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LoLo
post Jun 4 2003, 10:37 PM
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QUOTE (candice @ Jun 4 2003, 02:20 PM)
lmao!

you are one cruel woman, lo.

I'll take that as you would like more so here you go.......

pay the kids of your complex to spray them with perfume, there by making them stink to high heaven. Don't buy the good stuff either, get the cheap stuff little kids buy for their mothers for mothers day.

Get a picture of the two of them, and then make a sign of them that says "Wanted" and make up a crime to go with it. After that proceed to hang it up in your local post office. hehe

Buy a fish and wrap it in newspaper. When you see them come to your complex take the fish and go to their car and hide it under their seat. (I'm assuming cause of what you told me about where you live people don't worry about locking their doors too often.)


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Phyllis
post Jun 4 2003, 10:50 PM
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omg...all brilliant.

yeah ppl don't worry bout locking doors here too often. i think we're the only ones, really. enrique is paranoid from living in nyc..lol.


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LoLo
post Jun 4 2003, 10:52 PM
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QUOTE (candice @ Jun 4 2003, 03:50 PM)
omg...all brilliant.

yeah ppl don't worry bout locking doors here too often. i think we're the only ones, really. enrique is paranoid from living in nyc..lol.

My ex bf used to say that about me when I moved to TN. The only time the doors were unlocked on our house or my car were when we were going through them. Of course he bought into it a little more when someone was carjacked after I moved out there, oh and when someone broke into his car and stole his police scanner.


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Phyllis
post Jun 4 2003, 10:58 PM
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lol..i bet.

i wouldn't leave my stuff unlocked even if enrique wasn't here. i'm a bit paranoid as well. living in a city will do that to ya, i guess.


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elf
post Jun 4 2003, 11:14 PM
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<____________________< i wish i chose my parents... my other family is ok.


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Phyllis
post Jun 4 2003, 11:34 PM
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my parents are ok, now that i don't have to live with them..lol.

the rest of my family varies from great to horrid. the great ones all seem to pass away, i think from having to deal w/ the horrid ones.


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TigerLily013
post Jun 5 2003, 01:59 AM
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Ya some relatives are just a pain

I got my Grandmother on my mom's side that is EXTREMELY opinionated! I dunno how many times i wanted to tell her off. I still love her though

And I got my Grandmother on my dad's side, she flipped out on me the other day cuz i havent called in 2 months and she said i neveer caleld to thank her for the birthday gift....and i kinda remember already doing that..but meh..

I got other relatives but i dont talk to them often enough to get annoyed with them tongue.gif


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