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> My Aunts On Crack
LoLo
post Jun 12 2003, 12:58 AM
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I was sitting here feeling crappy and I thought, "Hey I'll read this book my aunt gave me!" It's supposed to be uplifting and filled with uplifting quotes, or so she said. Let me give you a few examples of the quotes....

"I've been given a small roll in a mystery-drama called life, in which all the characters die."

"Nothing is more important in life than knowing when to give up."

"It only hurts when I think or feel."

"I didn't ask to be born, but then who did."

"The law against loneliness has been repealed, but no one wants to celebrate with me."

"Yes, but it's only unrealistic expectations that are keeping me alive."

Gah I feel so much better, thanks aunty.


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cheese is funny
post Jun 12 2003, 01:00 AM
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sounds like a good book... dry.gif


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oobunnie
post Jun 12 2003, 01:01 AM
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well that doesnt sound very uplifting, i think carebears movies might do you much better.. however it is ver nicely written


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evilspatula
post Jun 12 2003, 01:03 AM
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"Never sit under a precariously balanced heavy object."

-The Book of Wrong Shui

So amusing. I wish my aunt gave me books like that.


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Debaser
post Jun 12 2003, 01:05 AM
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oh, the book of wrong shui is a classic.../me goes to find his copy...


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How Much Do You Reckon This Food Processor's Worth? Well? How Much Is It Worth? Come On. For F--k's Sake Just Hazard A Guess You Half-Witted Proletarian S--t - We Haven't Got All F--king Day. This Is A Game Show, Not A F--king Waiting Room. Now Spit Your F--king Answer Out Or I'll Kick You All The Way Back To Whichever P--s-Streaked Council Estate You Crawled From, So You Can Hatch The Rest Of Your Futureless Offspring In Empty-Handed Misery. Now Answer Me, C--T.

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MistressAlti
post Jun 12 2003, 01:07 AM
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It IS uplifting, Lo... you're supposed to laugh at it... unsure.gif
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CovertYawn
post Jun 12 2003, 01:11 AM
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I've got my copy here! wheee!


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Pikasyuu
post Jun 12 2003, 01:16 AM
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Uhhh. If your title didn't already say your aunt's a crackhead, that would be my post. o_O


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evilspatula
post Jun 12 2003, 01:17 AM
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"Whenever entertaining friends for dinner, avoid decorating the table with tall candleabras. large flower arrangements, or embalmed relatives, as they will divide the guests."


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"The blue sky is an illusion created by the sun to block out an infinite black void, when you die the worms eat your brains, there is no God to save you and Jesus Christ couldn't even save himself."
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reaper
post Jun 12 2003, 01:21 AM
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that sounds like a good book to use if you wanna depress someone


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SuperKathoid
post Jun 12 2003, 02:12 AM
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awwww Lolo, I love you!!! and yes your aunt must be on crack hahahaha tongue.gif
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LoLo
post Jun 12 2003, 02:21 AM
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QUOTE (MistressAlti @ Jun 11 2003, 06:07 PM)
It IS uplifting, Lo... you're supposed to laugh at it... unsure.gif

I would if I wasn't in a crap mood and feeling down.


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MistressAlti
post Jun 12 2003, 02:29 AM
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QUOTE (LoLo @ Jun 11 2003, 09:21 PM)
QUOTE (MistressAlti @ Jun 11 2003, 06:07 PM)
It IS uplifting, Lo... you're supposed to laugh at it...  unsure.gif

I would if I wasn't in a crap mood and feeling down.

/me hugs and sings

Don't worry... be happy!
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LoLo
post Jun 12 2003, 02:33 AM
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Thanks Missy. I've already done the loud music head in pillow schtick, driven at high speeds on the highway, and tried to ignore it. Now I'm down and pissed off, but that has nothing to do with you lol. I like the song thanks it brought a grin to my face.


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MistressAlti
post Jun 12 2003, 02:46 AM
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As long as I can help a fellow depressive person, my purpose in the world is safe. happy.gif
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CommandeerOfSoul...
post Jun 12 2003, 04:02 AM
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What's this book called (if you said I missed it)? I read some of this book called "You Are Worthless" and it's like a parody of a self-help book, and I was going to buy it.. but I'm cheap and didn't. I think that that book sounds like the shizdag. Vote yes on proposition 24.
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poppa.moo
post Jun 12 2003, 10:15 AM
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Sounds much like those 'motivators' posters you find around the office (or at least i do). The best are the 'De-Motivators' at Despair Dot Com.


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