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> Aargh!, Help...
poppa.moo
post Jun 28 2003, 07:44 AM
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OMG. I can't believe what has happened in the last week. I'm mentally exhausted. I feel like I'm bak at school with a crush on some random girl! I met a woman on Monday night, and again on Tuesday, in the pub where she works, and she lives on the same bus route, so we got the bus home together. I said I'd meet her on Thursday night, but had to look after my daughter that night, so i now feel as though Ive stood her up. Nothing has happened between us, and we've only talked, and I don't even have her number yet. The problem is that I'm getting depressed cos I haven't seen her since Tuesday. Is there something wrong with me? I've only met her twice, and she probably doesn't feel the same way. God my head is so messed up. I haven't felt this way since School, and my last crush on some girl, I've been out with women before, but I#ve never felt this strongly!

The biggy is this though, and I think it's advice that women may only know, Do I tell her I had my daughter on Thursday, and risk scaring her away? If you have any advice, please help, cos I'm gonna cry! sad.gif


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CrissiLove
post Jun 28 2003, 07:53 AM
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aawwww *Hugs* I'm glad you met somebody you seem to like so much! I'm too tired to really think clearly... or type much... but to answer the question about telling her about your daughter: I think you should tell her... if you wait a long time before telling her, she will feel like you've been hiding it (erm.. cause you would have been) and that will hurt/bother her... Well, that's how I would feel and what I think about it anyways... Good luck with whatever you decide to do and tell us how it goes! *smile*
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poppa.moo
post Jun 28 2003, 08:00 AM
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Thanks Crissi. I'm just a bit cautious, cos the last woman i dated, i told straight away that I had a daughter, and she ended up giving me the ultimatum, Her or my daughter. I just don't wanna scare this one off.


--------------------
And when I vest my flashing sword,
And my hand takes hold in judgment
I will take vengeance upon mine enemies
And I will repay those who hase me.
O Lord, raise me to Thy right hand,
And count me among Thy Saints.
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leopold
post Jun 28 2003, 02:34 PM
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Pops, crissi is spot on right wi this one buddy.

If ya tell her, it'll go one of two ways:

(1) She'll say "You have a KID??", an run a mile. In this case, she wasn't meant to be. Best get over it. Or;

(2) She'll be hugely curious an finish off with "When do I meet her?" In which case, yer in like Flynn!! laugh.gif

If ya leave it, then she'll almost certainly leave cos ya didn't tell her about summat so important.

Ordinarily I'd say leave it a couple of weeks an decide if she's worth datin seriously before ya tell her. Sadly ya don't have that luxury. Jus come clean, be honest. She may be wary at first (cos this is "instant mum" scenario!) but she'll go one of those two ways I said before.

Seriously bud, if she's right fer you, she'll come round - she'll take ya for you, daughter included!

I'll keep me fingers crossed for ya smile.gif


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LoLo
post Jun 28 2003, 02:45 PM
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Tell her Poppa.

Truth is always the best way to go.

If you're worried you'll scare her off cause you have a kid, well I can give maybe a small concelation that most women I know could care less if a guy has a kid.

Maybe if you're worried how to tell her you could just be subtle about it. Bring it up in conversation like, "Oh my daughter did the funniest thing on Thursday night........." Then you get out that you have a daughter and that that's why you couldn't make it on Thursday.


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MistressAlti
post Jun 28 2003, 04:46 PM
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Be straight with her, Poppa - honesty really is a good thing - and if she's right for you, it'll work out okay.

Whatever happens, though, good luck, okay buddy? *hugs*
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poppa.moo
post Jun 30 2003, 11:02 AM
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Thanks y'all. You're all too great! Gonna see her again tonight hopefully. Haven't had chance since Thursday, and I don't know when she works. Nervous as hell! sad.gif laugh.gif

You're right, if she doesn't like the fact I have a kid, it wasn't meant to be.

/me hugs everyone.


--------------------
And when I vest my flashing sword,
And my hand takes hold in judgment
I will take vengeance upon mine enemies
And I will repay those who hase me.
O Lord, raise me to Thy right hand,
And count me among Thy Saints.
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wolfbane
post Jun 30 2003, 11:12 AM
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Well I'm a bit late with replying to this, but yeah tell her you have a daughter. That's the best way to go.


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Mata
post Jun 30 2003, 12:02 PM
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Yep, you've got to tell her that, if she's cool then she'll be impressed with your dedication to looking after your child despite wanting to go out and have fun. Being a good father is sexy!


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WeeJ
post Jun 30 2003, 12:11 PM
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honesty is the best policy etc...

/me hugs poppa.moo


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