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Jaq
post Jul 22 2003, 12:11 AM
Post #1


Took this grammar!
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Group: Established Members
Posts: 3,246
Joined: 23-March 03
From: Saskatoon
Member No.: 165
Gender: Female



I'm taking requests for personalized stories that will probably end in bloodshed (the stories, not me. I don/t want to shed any blood. Least of all my own)

storyteller:Once upon a time there was a girl named Jaq.
Jaq: REally? Did I know her?
S: No, but you were just like her and she sucked
J: Oh.
S: One day she decided to start the stupidest thread to date
J: Wow. That's pretty stupid, that is.
S: Also she talked with an English accent even though she wasn't english. So everyone hated her.
J: Oh. Um...I think I want another story.
S: Every single person (but especially the English forumites) were understandably annoyed with her and she was shot. And the world was a better place for it. The End.


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Everytime the blue screen went out, Stan the weatherman suffered an existential crisis.
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Jaq
post Jul 24 2003, 02:59 AM
Post #2


Took this grammar!
************

Group: Established Members
Posts: 3,246
Joined: 23-March 03
From: Saskatoon
Member No.: 165
Gender: Female



QUOTE (Feyliya @ Jul 22 2003, 10:44 PM)
Give me a story!!! I already know I suck, I just want to see how you say it!

S: Once upon a time there was a girl with pointy ears and a difficult to pronounce name.
Feyliya: Really? Did I know her?
S: No, but you were just like her and she sucked.
F: You suck!
S: What? Shut up. Who's telling this story, me or you?
F: ERm..you.
S: Right, I am, and if you're going to heckle me at least put a little thought into it. I know you don't have much thought to go around, but I'm sure you could spare the brain power required to breathe for just one moment to think of a clever insult.
F: Um...
S: Okay, maybe I overestimated you.
F: Hey!
S: Anyways, this girl had an annoying habit of trying to make up for her lack lustre posts with bright colours. And although this was a hit with the pre Kindergarten crowd, the people who could actually read were none to impressed.
F: wha?
S: My point exactly... So, anywho, one day she was going through her normal saturday morning ritual of painting her body with lead paint. She thought it would be a super great idea if she painted the inside of her too, and so she swallowed a few gallons of paint. The giggles at her funeral were barely supressed and the world was a better place for it. The End.
F: huh?


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Everytime the blue screen went out, Stan the weatherman suffered an existential crisis.
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Posts in this topic
- Jaq   Stories   Jul 22 2003, 12:11 AM
- - cheese is funny   bravo? (how do we ask you to make a story for u...   Jul 22 2003, 12:13 AM
- - Jaq   You can ask me here and I will post the horrible h...   Jul 22 2003, 12:14 AM
- - cheese is funny   can you make one for me? pweeeeeeeeeeease?   Jul 22 2003, 12:14 AM
- - kidvicious2punk   ooh one for me plzz   Jul 22 2003, 12:15 AM
- - Jaq   OKay! S: Once upon a time there was a boy nam...   Jul 22 2003, 12:17 AM
- - CrissiLove   LOL@Jaq That's funny!   Jul 22 2003, 12:19 AM
- - cheese is funny   lmao!!! brillient!!! and t...   Jul 22 2003, 12:20 AM
- - Industrial Kybosh   Do me, Jaq! And then write me a story!   Jul 22 2003, 12:21 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (kidvicious2punk @ Jul 21 2003, 06:15 P...   Jul 22 2003, 12:22 AM
- - kidvicious2punk   lol.....do my story   Jul 22 2003, 12:22 AM
- - kidvicious2punk   lmao jaq   Jul 22 2003, 12:23 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (Industrial Kybosh @ Jul 21 2003, 06:21...   Jul 22 2003, 12:27 AM
- - kidvicious2punk   lmao...   Jul 22 2003, 12:29 AM
- - Industrial Kybosh   Excellent work, Jaq! Muchus respect.   Jul 22 2003, 12:29 AM
- - CrissiLove   ROFL!!!! Jaq is good at this.... ...   Jul 22 2003, 12:30 AM
- - cheese is funny   very nice work jaq would it bother you to have ...   Jul 22 2003, 12:33 AM
- - CrissiLove   can I have a story too...? If you have too many...   Jul 22 2003, 12:34 AM
- - hinsley   lol very nice Jaq.   Jul 22 2003, 12:36 AM
- - candice   oooo can i have one too?   Jul 22 2003, 12:43 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (CrissiLove @ Jul 21 2003, 06:34 PM)can...   Jul 22 2003, 12:45 AM
- - CrissiLove   ROFL you are too funny!!! TY for t...   Jul 22 2003, 12:46 AM
- - kidvicious2punk   crissis was cool *explode*   Jul 22 2003, 12:47 AM
- - sadistickitty   me me me me me me !!!!!!...   Jul 22 2003, 12:57 AM
- - Debaser   /me asks reeeeeeeeeeeeally nicely for a story...pl...   Jul 22 2003, 12:59 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (candice @ Jul 21 2003, 06:43 PM)oooo c...   Jul 22 2003, 01:09 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (sadistickitty @ Jul 21 2003, 06:57 PM)...   Jul 22 2003, 01:24 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (Debaser @ Jul 21 2003, 06:59 PM)/me as...   Jul 22 2003, 01:39 AM
- - Debaser   LMFAO. that is f--king CLASS, jaq...thanks...   Jul 22 2003, 01:44 AM
- - syuu   I'd like one please, auntie Jaq! =)   Jul 22 2003, 01:50 AM
- - Industrial Kybosh   How did we ever survive here without Jaq's nos...   Jul 22 2003, 01:55 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (syuu @ Jul 21 2003, 07:50 PM)I'd l...   Jul 22 2003, 02:00 AM
- - Monkey the Rabid Red Rabbit   Ooh! Ooh! Can I have a story? I love stori...   Jul 22 2003, 02:00 AM
- - sadistickitty   we're all crazy for loving this but.....COOL...   Jul 22 2003, 02:02 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (Monkey the Rabid Red Rabbit @ Jul 21 2...   Jul 22 2003, 02:16 AM
- - Monkey the Rabid Red Rabbit   That reminds me of the stories my sister used to t...   Jul 22 2003, 02:23 AM
- - frogbutterflyfreak   can i have a story? pweeze?   Jul 22 2003, 02:38 AM
- - IrishGuy   I'd like one as well, if you have the time. Th...   Jul 22 2003, 03:44 AM
- - CommieBastard   Story me! Story me!   Jul 22 2003, 06:59 AM
- - Monkey the Rabid Red Rabbit   My sister used to make up stories about how street...   Jul 22 2003, 05:46 PM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (frogbutterflyfreak @ Jul 21 2003, 08:3...   Jul 23 2003, 04:12 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (IrishGuy @ Jul 21 2003, 09:44 PM)I...   Jul 23 2003, 04:20 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (CommieBastard @ Jul 22 2003, 12:59 AM)...   Jul 23 2003, 04:25 AM
- - CrissiLove   ROFL... Jaq, you are hilarious!!   Jul 23 2003, 04:38 AM
- - Feyliya   Give me a story!!! I already know I s...   Jul 23 2003, 04:44 AM
- - frogbutterflyfreak   i'm a girl... and i do have a full head of hai...   Jul 23 2003, 05:24 AM
- - CommieBastard   Jaq, I <3 you. That ruled.   Jul 23 2003, 07:28 AM
- - kidvicious2punk   wow...good show jaq...i wanna nother story...after...   Jul 23 2003, 01:42 PM
- - NummyNums   ooo i havent had a story yet.. can i have a story?   Jul 23 2003, 01:52 PM
- - Monkey the Rabid Red Rabbit   I liked my story. Jaq, you're my friend. And y...   Jul 23 2003, 02:04 PM
- - kidvicious2punk   true dat   Jul 23 2003, 03:31 PM
- - LoLo   Jaq if you have the time and it pleases you may I ...   Jul 24 2003, 02:40 AM
- - hinsley   everyone else has asked and as i always follow the...   Jul 24 2003, 02:48 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (Feyliya @ Jul 22 2003, 10:44 PM)Give m...   Jul 24 2003, 02:59 AM
- - IrishGuy   Jelly beans ROCK!   Jul 24 2003, 03:21 AM
- - IrishGuy   QUOTE (Jaq @ Jul 23 2003, 12:20 AM)I: Hey...   Jul 24 2003, 03:23 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (NummyNums @ Jul 23 2003, 07:52 AM)ooo ...   Jul 24 2003, 04:11 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (LoLo @ Jul 23 2003, 08:40 PM)Jaq if yo...   Jul 25 2003, 04:36 PM
- - NummyNums   hehehe thnxs for my story   Jul 25 2003, 04:39 PM
- - kidvicious2punk   lol.. SHEBAM!   Jul 25 2003, 04:56 PM
- - LoLo   QUOTE (Jaq @ Jul 25 2003, 09:36 AM)L: That do...   Jul 25 2003, 08:19 PM
- - Logicman   Can I have a story?   Jul 25 2003, 10:20 PM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (Logicman @ Jul 25 2003, 04:20 PM)Can I...   Aug 24 2003, 10:54 PM
- - Cath   Story Please! Story Please! *bounces up ...   Aug 25 2003, 01:26 AM
- - CommieBastard   Ka-BUMP.   Mar 2 2004, 07:33 PM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (Cath @ Aug 24 2003, 07:25 PM)Story Ple...   Mar 2 2004, 07:57 PM
- - MrTeapot   Mememe! Please! *pretty please with a cher...   Mar 2 2004, 08:37 PM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (MrTeapot @ Mar 2 2004, 02:36 PM)Mememe...   Mar 2 2004, 10:47 PM
- - Tigersong   Abuse me! Meeee!   Mar 3 2004, 12:31 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (Tigersong @ Mar 2 2004, 06:30 PM)Abuse...   Mar 3 2004, 06:08 AM
- - jicama   ...but tv tells me that undead people go to califo...   Mar 3 2004, 06:14 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (jicama @ Mar 3 2004, 12:13 AM)...but t...   Mar 3 2004, 06:23 AM
- - Pab   /me leaps into the line of fire าทำ go on then ...   Mar 3 2004, 11:33 PM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (Pab @ Mar 3 2004, 05:32 PM)/me leaps i...   Mar 4 2004, 03:10 PM
- - the lil' pie fairy   *waves little hand* umm, can i have one too? pleas...   Mar 4 2004, 04:50 PM
- - DoRmAnt   i'll go for one too...   Mar 4 2004, 05:14 PM
- - sizzlieswix   i have a feeling mine will be too easy...but sign ...   Mar 4 2004, 05:16 PM
- - crazymat   A story? pour moi? fantastic!   Mar 4 2004, 07:52 PM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (the lil' pie fairy @ Mar 4 2004, 1...   Mar 6 2004, 01:44 AM
- - EvilSpoon   I wouldn't mind one   Mar 6 2004, 02:02 AM
- - Daedalus   Ooooh.... can I have an amusingly derogative story...   Mar 6 2004, 01:40 PM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (DoRmAnt @ Mar 4 2004, 11:13 AM)i'l...   Mar 6 2004, 02:55 PM
- - Cath   Tank you for my story! *pass drink to jaq* Yo...   Mar 6 2004, 06:52 PM
- - FurryMammal   Please may you tell me a story?   Mar 6 2004, 08:04 PM
- - the lil' pie fairy   QUOTE (Jaq @ Mar 6 2004, 01:43 AM)LPF: That ...   Mar 8 2004, 04:08 PM
- - DoRmAnt   hahhahahaha thanks jaq (tenpoints)   Mar 8 2004, 05:21 PM
- - jicama   QUOTE (FurryMammal @ Mar 6 2004, 08:03 PM)Ple...   Mar 12 2004, 09:34 PM


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