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Jaq
post Jul 22 2003, 12:11 AM
Post #1


Took this grammar!
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Group: Established Members
Posts: 3,246
Joined: 23-March 03
From: Saskatoon
Member No.: 165
Gender: Female



I'm taking requests for personalized stories that will probably end in bloodshed (the stories, not me. I don/t want to shed any blood. Least of all my own)

storyteller:Once upon a time there was a girl named Jaq.
Jaq: REally? Did I know her?
S: No, but you were just like her and she sucked
J: Oh.
S: One day she decided to start the stupidest thread to date
J: Wow. That's pretty stupid, that is.
S: Also she talked with an English accent even though she wasn't english. So everyone hated her.
J: Oh. Um...I think I want another story.
S: Every single person (but especially the English forumites) were understandably annoyed with her and she was shot. And the world was a better place for it. The End.


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Everytime the blue screen went out, Stan the weatherman suffered an existential crisis.
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Jaq
post Jul 23 2003, 04:12 AM
Post #2


Took this grammar!
************

Group: Established Members
Posts: 3,246
Joined: 23-March 03
From: Saskatoon
Member No.: 165
Gender: Female



QUOTE (frogbutterflyfreak @ Jul 21 2003, 08:38 PM)
can i have a story? pweeze?

S:Once upon a time there was a person named frogbutterflyfreak.
Frogbutterflyfreak: Really? Did I know them?
S: No, but you were just like them and they sucked.
F: Oh.
S: One day, while walking home from a friend's house (his only friend) he didn't quite look where he was going and he tripped over a teeny lamp.
F: What? This is a really stupid story.
S: Shut up, I'm going somewhere with it.
F: *sigh*
S:Anyway, he spent days and days rubbing the lamp trying to make a genie come out, so that he could get three wishes. Those wishes being for a peanut, to get more spam and for a new head of hair. He already had a full head of hair, but he was just so impatient he couldn't wait for it to grow on it's own. He was a bit slow.
F: What? I don't like peanuts, I'm allergic to peanuts!
S: (and yet he has no other objections to the other wishes)
F:What was that you just wrote in parantheses?
S: Who gave you permission to read what I write in my parentheses?
F: Sorry...
S: A genie never came out of the lamp 1) because it was a reading lamp. 2) because genies don't exist. The moral? Lamps cuase blisters on stupid people's hands.
F: Hey, isn't this person supposed to die a horrible death?
S: Oh right. Um...the blisters became infected and he languished in hospital for many days with gangrene before getting all his limbs amputated and then dieing. They called him torso boy. And then they put it on his tombstone. And the world was a better place for it. the End.
F: What? You make no sense, the world was a better place for him being named torso boy?
S: Shut up.


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Everytime the blue screen went out, Stan the weatherman suffered an existential crisis.
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Posts in this topic
- Jaq   Stories   Jul 22 2003, 12:11 AM
- - cheese is funny   bravo? (how do we ask you to make a story for u...   Jul 22 2003, 12:13 AM
- - Jaq   You can ask me here and I will post the horrible h...   Jul 22 2003, 12:14 AM
- - cheese is funny   can you make one for me? pweeeeeeeeeeease?   Jul 22 2003, 12:14 AM
- - kidvicious2punk   ooh one for me plzz   Jul 22 2003, 12:15 AM
- - Jaq   OKay! S: Once upon a time there was a boy nam...   Jul 22 2003, 12:17 AM
- - CrissiLove   LOL@Jaq That's funny!   Jul 22 2003, 12:19 AM
- - cheese is funny   lmao!!! brillient!!! and t...   Jul 22 2003, 12:20 AM
- - Industrial Kybosh   Do me, Jaq! And then write me a story!   Jul 22 2003, 12:21 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (kidvicious2punk @ Jul 21 2003, 06:15 P...   Jul 22 2003, 12:22 AM
- - kidvicious2punk   lol.....do my story   Jul 22 2003, 12:22 AM
- - kidvicious2punk   lmao jaq   Jul 22 2003, 12:23 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (Industrial Kybosh @ Jul 21 2003, 06:21...   Jul 22 2003, 12:27 AM
- - kidvicious2punk   lmao...   Jul 22 2003, 12:29 AM
- - Industrial Kybosh   Excellent work, Jaq! Muchus respect.   Jul 22 2003, 12:29 AM
- - CrissiLove   ROFL!!!! Jaq is good at this.... ...   Jul 22 2003, 12:30 AM
- - cheese is funny   very nice work jaq would it bother you to have ...   Jul 22 2003, 12:33 AM
- - CrissiLove   can I have a story too...? If you have too many...   Jul 22 2003, 12:34 AM
- - hinsley   lol very nice Jaq.   Jul 22 2003, 12:36 AM
- - candice   oooo can i have one too?   Jul 22 2003, 12:43 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (CrissiLove @ Jul 21 2003, 06:34 PM)can...   Jul 22 2003, 12:45 AM
- - CrissiLove   ROFL you are too funny!!! TY for t...   Jul 22 2003, 12:46 AM
- - kidvicious2punk   crissis was cool *explode*   Jul 22 2003, 12:47 AM
- - sadistickitty   me me me me me me !!!!!!...   Jul 22 2003, 12:57 AM
- - Debaser   /me asks reeeeeeeeeeeeally nicely for a story...pl...   Jul 22 2003, 12:59 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (candice @ Jul 21 2003, 06:43 PM)oooo c...   Jul 22 2003, 01:09 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (sadistickitty @ Jul 21 2003, 06:57 PM)...   Jul 22 2003, 01:24 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (Debaser @ Jul 21 2003, 06:59 PM)/me as...   Jul 22 2003, 01:39 AM
- - Debaser   LMFAO. that is f--king CLASS, jaq...thanks...   Jul 22 2003, 01:44 AM
- - syuu   I'd like one please, auntie Jaq! =)   Jul 22 2003, 01:50 AM
- - Industrial Kybosh   How did we ever survive here without Jaq's nos...   Jul 22 2003, 01:55 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (syuu @ Jul 21 2003, 07:50 PM)I'd l...   Jul 22 2003, 02:00 AM
- - Monkey the Rabid Red Rabbit   Ooh! Ooh! Can I have a story? I love stori...   Jul 22 2003, 02:00 AM
- - sadistickitty   we're all crazy for loving this but.....COOL...   Jul 22 2003, 02:02 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (Monkey the Rabid Red Rabbit @ Jul 21 2...   Jul 22 2003, 02:16 AM
- - Monkey the Rabid Red Rabbit   That reminds me of the stories my sister used to t...   Jul 22 2003, 02:23 AM
- - frogbutterflyfreak   can i have a story? pweeze?   Jul 22 2003, 02:38 AM
- - IrishGuy   I'd like one as well, if you have the time. Th...   Jul 22 2003, 03:44 AM
- - CommieBastard   Story me! Story me!   Jul 22 2003, 06:59 AM
- - Monkey the Rabid Red Rabbit   My sister used to make up stories about how street...   Jul 22 2003, 05:46 PM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (frogbutterflyfreak @ Jul 21 2003, 08:3...   Jul 23 2003, 04:12 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (IrishGuy @ Jul 21 2003, 09:44 PM)I...   Jul 23 2003, 04:20 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (CommieBastard @ Jul 22 2003, 12:59 AM)...   Jul 23 2003, 04:25 AM
- - CrissiLove   ROFL... Jaq, you are hilarious!!   Jul 23 2003, 04:38 AM
- - Feyliya   Give me a story!!! I already know I s...   Jul 23 2003, 04:44 AM
- - frogbutterflyfreak   i'm a girl... and i do have a full head of hai...   Jul 23 2003, 05:24 AM
- - CommieBastard   Jaq, I <3 you. That ruled.   Jul 23 2003, 07:28 AM
- - kidvicious2punk   wow...good show jaq...i wanna nother story...after...   Jul 23 2003, 01:42 PM
- - NummyNums   ooo i havent had a story yet.. can i have a story?   Jul 23 2003, 01:52 PM
- - Monkey the Rabid Red Rabbit   I liked my story. Jaq, you're my friend. And y...   Jul 23 2003, 02:04 PM
- - kidvicious2punk   true dat   Jul 23 2003, 03:31 PM
- - LoLo   Jaq if you have the time and it pleases you may I ...   Jul 24 2003, 02:40 AM
- - hinsley   everyone else has asked and as i always follow the...   Jul 24 2003, 02:48 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (Feyliya @ Jul 22 2003, 10:44 PM)Give m...   Jul 24 2003, 02:59 AM
- - IrishGuy   Jelly beans ROCK!   Jul 24 2003, 03:21 AM
- - IrishGuy   QUOTE (Jaq @ Jul 23 2003, 12:20 AM)I: Hey...   Jul 24 2003, 03:23 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (NummyNums @ Jul 23 2003, 07:52 AM)ooo ...   Jul 24 2003, 04:11 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (LoLo @ Jul 23 2003, 08:40 PM)Jaq if yo...   Jul 25 2003, 04:36 PM
- - NummyNums   hehehe thnxs for my story   Jul 25 2003, 04:39 PM
- - kidvicious2punk   lol.. SHEBAM!   Jul 25 2003, 04:56 PM
- - LoLo   QUOTE (Jaq @ Jul 25 2003, 09:36 AM)L: That do...   Jul 25 2003, 08:19 PM
- - Logicman   Can I have a story?   Jul 25 2003, 10:20 PM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (Logicman @ Jul 25 2003, 04:20 PM)Can I...   Aug 24 2003, 10:54 PM
- - Cath   Story Please! Story Please! *bounces up ...   Aug 25 2003, 01:26 AM
- - CommieBastard   Ka-BUMP.   Mar 2 2004, 07:33 PM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (Cath @ Aug 24 2003, 07:25 PM)Story Ple...   Mar 2 2004, 07:57 PM
- - MrTeapot   Mememe! Please! *pretty please with a cher...   Mar 2 2004, 08:37 PM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (MrTeapot @ Mar 2 2004, 02:36 PM)Mememe...   Mar 2 2004, 10:47 PM
- - Tigersong   Abuse me! Meeee!   Mar 3 2004, 12:31 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (Tigersong @ Mar 2 2004, 06:30 PM)Abuse...   Mar 3 2004, 06:08 AM
- - jicama   ...but tv tells me that undead people go to califo...   Mar 3 2004, 06:14 AM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (jicama @ Mar 3 2004, 12:13 AM)...but t...   Mar 3 2004, 06:23 AM
- - Pab   /me leaps into the line of fire าทำ go on then ...   Mar 3 2004, 11:33 PM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (Pab @ Mar 3 2004, 05:32 PM)/me leaps i...   Mar 4 2004, 03:10 PM
- - the lil' pie fairy   *waves little hand* umm, can i have one too? pleas...   Mar 4 2004, 04:50 PM
- - DoRmAnt   i'll go for one too...   Mar 4 2004, 05:14 PM
- - sizzlieswix   i have a feeling mine will be too easy...but sign ...   Mar 4 2004, 05:16 PM
- - crazymat   A story? pour moi? fantastic!   Mar 4 2004, 07:52 PM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (the lil' pie fairy @ Mar 4 2004, 1...   Mar 6 2004, 01:44 AM
- - EvilSpoon   I wouldn't mind one   Mar 6 2004, 02:02 AM
- - Daedalus   Ooooh.... can I have an amusingly derogative story...   Mar 6 2004, 01:40 PM
- - Jaq   QUOTE (DoRmAnt @ Mar 4 2004, 11:13 AM)i'l...   Mar 6 2004, 02:55 PM
- - Cath   Tank you for my story! *pass drink to jaq* Yo...   Mar 6 2004, 06:52 PM
- - FurryMammal   Please may you tell me a story?   Mar 6 2004, 08:04 PM
- - the lil' pie fairy   QUOTE (Jaq @ Mar 6 2004, 01:43 AM)LPF: That ...   Mar 8 2004, 04:08 PM
- - DoRmAnt   hahhahahaha thanks jaq (tenpoints)   Mar 8 2004, 05:21 PM
- - jicama   QUOTE (FurryMammal @ Mar 6 2004, 08:03 PM)Ple...   Mar 12 2004, 09:34 PM


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