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kidvicious2punk
post Jul 23 2003, 03:31 PM
Post #51


word
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true dat


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LoLo
post Jul 24 2003, 02:40 AM
Post #52


Kiefer > Jason
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Jaq if you have the time and it pleases you may I have a story, seeing as I am a big fan and all.......I'll make out with you somewheres if you like. lol


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hinsley
post Jul 24 2003, 02:48 AM
Post #53


Talking Cat? Eh, its been dun.
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everyone else has asked and as i always follow the crowd i might as well ask too. so yes, ill ahve one if you got the time. smile.gif


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Jaq
post Jul 24 2003, 02:59 AM
Post #54


Took this grammar!
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QUOTE (Feyliya @ Jul 22 2003, 10:44 PM)
Give me a story!!! I already know I suck, I just want to see how you say it!

S: Once upon a time there was a girl with pointy ears and a difficult to pronounce name.
Feyliya: Really? Did I know her?
S: No, but you were just like her and she sucked.
F: You suck!
S: What? Shut up. Who's telling this story, me or you?
F: ERm..you.
S: Right, I am, and if you're going to heckle me at least put a little thought into it. I know you don't have much thought to go around, but I'm sure you could spare the brain power required to breathe for just one moment to think of a clever insult.
F: Um...
S: Okay, maybe I overestimated you.
F: Hey!
S: Anyways, this girl had an annoying habit of trying to make up for her lack lustre posts with bright colours. And although this was a hit with the pre Kindergarten crowd, the people who could actually read were none to impressed.
F: wha?
S: My point exactly... So, anywho, one day she was going through her normal saturday morning ritual of painting her body with lead paint. She thought it would be a super great idea if she painted the inside of her too, and so she swallowed a few gallons of paint. The giggles at her funeral were barely supressed and the world was a better place for it. The End.
F: huh?


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vicrawr
post Jul 24 2003, 03:21 AM
Post #55



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vicrawr
post Jul 24 2003, 03:23 AM
Post #56



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QUOTE (Jaq @ Jul 23 2003, 12:20 AM)
I: Hey! That does sound like me!

Sad but true!
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Jaq
post Jul 24 2003, 04:11 AM
Post #57


Took this grammar!
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QUOTE (NummyNums @ Jul 23 2003, 07:52 AM)
ooo i havent had a story yet.. can i have a story?

S: One upon a time there was a girl named nummyNums.
NummyNums: REally? Did I know her?
S: But you were just like her, except she was a little taller. And both of you sucked.
N: Oh. Why aren't you telling me the one about the unicorn.
S: You have a thing for phallic imagery don't you?
N: Does that mean you're not going to tell me the one about the unicorn?
S: Yes.
N: What about the one about the princess who's locked in a tall tall tower?
S: Right. Do I have to explain this again?
N: I'll be good.
S: Okay. Anywho, this NummyNums had an annoying habit of constantly saying SHEBAM! everytime she ended a conversation.
N: That doesn't sound like me at all.
S: What are you talking about, it's exactly like you! Now, she started this habit out of frustration about not being listened to mainly because she was really very boring and no one wanted to listen to her. Screaming things during conversations didn't exactly help her be more popular..or interesting...but she did get peoples attention which was her goal. Unfortunately it was the wrong type of attention. One day, after concluding an interview (because she was a reporter) with a person who was being tried for murder, she ended the conversation in the same manner. The person took this as a sign from the Devil to kill her, and he did so. And the world was a better place for it. The End.
N: Did he kill her with a long knife? Or a poker?
S: You have to leave now. I will call the police.
N: SHEBAM!


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Jaq
post Jul 25 2003, 04:36 PM
Post #58


Took this grammar!
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QUOTE (LoLo @ Jul 23 2003, 08:40 PM)
Jaq if you have the time and it pleases you may I have a story, seeing as I am a big fan and all.......I'll make out with you somewheres if you like. lol

S: Once upon a time there was a girl named LoLo
LoLo: Really? did I know her?
S: no, but you were just like her and she sucked.
L; Oh.
S: Anywho this LoLo who sucked not unlike how you suck, was cheerfully passing the time one day by thrwoing sticks into the spokes of children's bicycles as they rode by. These often resulted in horrific injuries which scarred the children for life.
L: That doesn't sound like me at all. I usually use trip wires.
S: Right. . . not like you at all...
L: Exactly!
S: So, anyways, one day while enjoying her favourite pasttime of horribly scarring children for life, she happened upon a small leprechaun.
L: Aren't all leprechauns small?
S: I'm trying to use some -describing- words. Embellish the story a bit, make it more interesting?
L: you're not doing a very good job.
S: Do you want this story or not?
L: Meh.
S: Meh?
L: you heard me.
S: No one 'mehs' my stories! No one!
L: Erm...
S: *goes on murderous rampage*


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NummyNums
post Jul 25 2003, 04:39 PM
Post #59


Holey Great Mother of God ive been cloned!!!
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hehehe thnxs for my story


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my boobs are named Aidan and Nadia.. wes owns them now, he also owns me we are engaged and i love him and sex him with all my heart and umm.... soul.. hehehe

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kidvicious2punk
post Jul 25 2003, 04:56 PM
Post #60


word
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lol..

SHEBAM! tongue.gif


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LoLo
post Jul 25 2003, 08:19 PM
Post #61


Kiefer > Jason
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QUOTE (Jaq @ Jul 25 2003, 09:36 AM)
L: That doesn't sound like me at all. I usually use trip wires.

Too true.....too true laugh.gif


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Guest_Logicman_*
post Jul 25 2003, 10:20 PM
Post #62





Guests






Can I have a story?
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Jaq
post Aug 24 2003, 10:54 PM
Post #63


Took this grammar!
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QUOTE (Logicman @ Jul 25 2003, 04:20 PM)
Can I have a story?

S: Once upon a time there was a boy named Logicman.
Logicman: Really? Did I know him?
S: No, but you were just like him and he sucked.
L: Damn.
S: Okay, so
Logicman: If he was a boy why did he have 'man' in his name?
S: 1. His name was an oxymoron. He was neither a man nor very logical. In fact he was so illogical if he had ever met a Vulcan the Vulcan's head would have exploded. 2. Don't interrupt me. You will regret it.
L: Coool!
S: Um..yeah. Okay. So anyways on day Logicman was walking around in his home in New Mexico pondering the existence of dog.
L: don't you mean God?
S: You heard me. anyways. In his musings he accidentally tripped on a stray ottoman and stumbled into an alternate dimension and the floating head of Colonel Sanders starting yelling at him. Now logicman being logicman he didn't think too much about this and continued his ponderment of dog's existence. unfortuantely for him his thought waves were transformed into razor sharp stalactites in his brain and he died almost instantly.
L: Wha?
S: It was an alternate dimension. That explains everything.
L: Wha?
S: Go away. Now. Next!


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Cath Sparrow
post Aug 25 2003, 01:26 AM
Post #64


I've been brainwashed
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Story Please! Story Please! *bounces up & down*


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CommieBastard
post Mar 2 2004, 07:33 PM
Post #65


Remorseless posting machine
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Ka-BUMP.


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Every sort of expert knowledge and every inquiry, and similarly every action and undertaking, seems to seek some good. Because of that, people are right to affirm that the good is 'that which all things seek'...
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Jaq
post Mar 2 2004, 07:57 PM
Post #66


Took this grammar!
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QUOTE (Cath @ Aug 24 2003, 07:25 PM)
Story Please! Story Please! *bounces up & down*

s: Once upon a time there was a girl named Cath
Cath: Really? Did I know her?
S:No, but you were just like her and she sucked.
C:Oh
S:Anyways, this girl's parents were a bit lazy and a bit dumb and so they decided that-
C:Hey! My parents are neither dumb nor lazy!
S: Excuse me? Did I just hear someone speak?
C:Yeah! I said my parents are good people! They're not dumb or lazy!
S: Hmm.. interupting the story teller twice are we?
C: Uh...
S: Interupting the story tell in her own thread twice and then countering said accusation with a pansy arse yellow livered backing down "uh" That's great. Not only did you interupt me, you also made me mad. Don't make the story teller mad.
C: *runs out of the room crying*
S: My work here is done. Oo, and with time to spare. Now I get to watch my soaps. Ooo.. This is a good one. We find out whether Jason and Heather are really twins seperated at birth or simply star crossed lovers with no arms or legs...


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Everytime the blue screen went out, Stan the weatherman suffered an existential crisis.
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Usurper MrTeapot
post Mar 2 2004, 08:37 PM
Post #67


Samauri Teapain
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Mememe! Please! *pretty please with a cherry on top*


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Jaq and believe are my adopted Tea Spoons (wherever they are :'( )
"I am just a worthless liar, I am just an imbecile, I will only complicate you, trust in me and fall aswell."
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Jaq
post Mar 2 2004, 10:47 PM
Post #68


Took this grammar!
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QUOTE (MrTeapot @ Mar 2 2004, 02:36 PM)
Mememe! Please! *pretty please with a cherry on top*

And the next victim of abuse is....

S: Once there was a boy named Mr. Teapot.
Mr. Teapot: Really? Did I know him?
S: No, but you were just like him and he sucked. A lot. If you knew how much this guy sucked and realized that you sucked just as much as him you'd do something drastic and probably very stupid. Like try desperately to not suck. Of course that would backfire on you immeadiately and the result of this effort would produce more sucking than you had ever done before and which I had ever thought was possible. Which frankly is quite disturbing.
MT: Wait... are you trying to say something?
S: No, I'm just talking to myself
MT: Where's my story???
S: Stories are only for people who do not cause the earth to implode from the sheer force of their suckedness.
MT: The earth hasn't imploded...
S: Not yet anyways. Quick! Don't do anything! A single move could kill us all! Wait, before you don't do anything, get me a drink.


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Everytime the blue screen went out, Stan the weatherman suffered an existential crisis.
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Tigersong
post Mar 3 2004, 12:31 AM
Post #69


Rabid Saskatchewanian
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Abuse me! Meeee!


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Jaq
post Mar 3 2004, 06:08 AM
Post #70


Took this grammar!
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QUOTE (Tigersong @ Mar 2 2004, 06:30 PM)
Abuse me! Meeee!

Ahem. Abuse forthcoming.

S: Once there was a boy named Tigersong
Tigersong: Really? Did I know him?
S: No, but you were just like him and he sucked.
TS: Oh. Why?
S: yours is not to wonder why, yours is but to do or die. Or get me a drink.
TS: Get your own drink.
S: I like your spunk. Now where was I? Ah yes, this Tigersong who was not you sucked. Quite alot. Anywho, one day he decided to go to California because he'd never been there and he'd heard that there was sunshine there. He wasn't very intelligent and never quite realized that most parts of the earth that weren't covered up by other parts of the earth got sunlight at least for part of the year. But no matter. He was determined to see this sunshine he'd heard so much about and gosh darn it if logic was going to stop him.
TS: Wow! He sounds really smart and determined!!
S: Was that sarcasm?
TS: Um...
S: right, on with the story. So anyways, he couldn't wrangle the money to get a plane ticket together so he sold his lungs to some South American gangsters for a hefty sum. This got him enough money for the plane fare but also he became very very dead. And the world was a better place for it. The end
TS: Why didn't he go to California?
S: Don't make me hurt you.


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Everytime the blue screen went out, Stan the weatherman suffered an existential crisis.
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jicama
post Mar 3 2004, 06:14 AM
Post #71


a hoopy frood who really knows where her towel is
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...but tv tells me that undead people go to california all the time. tv wouldn't lie, would it?? unsure.gif

where's my story? can i have a story? i wanna story! gimmie gimmie gimmie!


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Jaq
post Mar 3 2004, 06:23 AM
Post #72


Took this grammar!
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QUOTE (jicama @ Mar 3 2004, 12:13 AM)
...but tv tells me that undead people go to california all the time. tv wouldn't lie, would it?? unsure.gif

where's my story? can i have a story? i wanna story! gimmie gimmie gimmie!

Because once you get your lungs taken out by South American gangnsters there's no coming back. None! No undead Californian trips for the Tigersong who we don't know. None!

Anywho, a story for the Jicama

S: Once there was a girl named Jicama.
Jicama: Relly did I know her?
S: No, but you were just like her and she sucked. Alot.
J: wow. That is alot. How much exactly?
S: Hmm... well you know how much everyone on this thread sucks?
J: Uh huh
S: Combined?
J: Yup
S: Well she sucked more than them.
J: Even the guy who would implode the earth if he tried not to suck?
S: Yup, but in an entirely different way. It turns out that she would make the earth explode and he would make the earth implode, so they balance each other out. Sort of like the balance of suckedness. It would be beautiful if it didn't make me want to fling myself on sharp rocks and gouge my eyes out with rusty spoons.
J: Wow. You're really descriptive.
S: They don't call me the storyteller for nothing. Well they do, I haven't yet put a copyright on the name that will get me a royalty everytime someone says it, but that's beside the point. You need a story.
J: Yay! Story! *gurgle*
S: Uh huh. Anyways, this Jicama who sucked not entirely unlike how you suck was walking down the street one day. She was apt to do that because she had been banned from public transit, had her license taken away and her bike had been crushe din an unfortunate trash compacting escapade.
J: Cool!
S: Riiight.. so anyways, she was walking down the street when all of a sudden the storyteller realized that this post was already getting too long and she was sucked up into a passing alien spacecraft never to be seen again.
J: What? that sucked...
S: Hey, you're the fan of sci-fi here. I thought you'd be happy. Now get me a drink.,


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Everytime the blue screen went out, Stan the weatherman suffered an existential crisis.
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Pab
post Mar 3 2004, 11:33 PM
Post #73


Has been kidnapped by gerbils and forced to post on here repeatedly
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/me leaps into the line of fire

าทำ

go on then ...


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Jaq
post Mar 4 2004, 03:10 PM
Post #74


Took this grammar!
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QUOTE (Pab @ Mar 3 2004, 05:32 PM)
/me leaps into the line of fire

าทำ

go on then ...

I'll take that as a request for a story...

Storyteller: Once upon a time there was an old man named Pab.
Pab: Really? Did I know him?
S:No, but you were just like him and he sucked. muchos grande sucking power.
P: Oh...
S: So anywho, this old man was a cranky old man and children fled from his very gaze. Actually there were very few children to actually flee from his gaze because his smell usually made them flee long before he was within sight.
P: *sniffs self* Are you trying to tell me something?
S: What? No, of course not. This story isn't about you Pab. This story is about a person who has your name who sucks just as much as you. Geez, a bit self absorbed, aren't we?
P: But how many people are named Pab?
S: How should I know? Do I look like the registrar for children's names of the entire planet?
P: Well..
S: That was a rhetorical question. Anyways, so this Pab who sucked not unentirely how you sucked often scared small children. One day the children decided that they had taken enough of his weird smells and shuffling feet and crazy eyes. They decided to take justice into their own hands. They became a lynch mob. And it was the cutest lynch mob ever. They had little pitch forks and little vats of tar, and itsy bitsy red hot tongs and they dressed up the littlest one Mitsy in black and gave her a black hood that was just darling and too big for her little head and made her the hanggirl. She was so cute. Her mother had to take pictures of them all before they left to lynch Pab. Then, after some cookies and juice they went on search of this Pab. They found the smelly old man, and had a regular lynching good time. Afterwards they came home and Mitsy's mom made them peanut butter and jelly sandwiches because they were soooo hungry. They all had a good time, and learned alot about friendship, cooperation and remembering to pull on the victims feet whilst in the noose.
P: ....
S: Did you like it?
P: You're sick.
S: no, I'm feeling quite fine actually.
P: um..
S: biggrin.gif
P: *backs away slowly*


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Everytime the blue screen went out, Stan the weatherman suffered an existential crisis.
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the lil' pie...
post Mar 4 2004, 04:50 PM
Post #75


Don't you just love hot water bottles?
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*waves little hand* umm, can i have one too? please? i'll make you a pie unsure.gif


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It's not so bad being trendy, everyone who looks like me is my friend...

SHINY...

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