Here's Whats Up... Options

[cheese is funny]

ok... i was planning on not telling anyone about this... keeping it a secret.... but i decided not to...

i have ran into a good deal of stress and shit just lately...

1) my parents threatened to kick me out. i cant believe it, i really cant. i know im a pain in the ass, i know im a smart ass, i know i talk back alot, but i never thought it was serious. theres a place inside of me that thinks that they wont do that, but the threats got more frequent just lately.

solution! i do exactly as they say, become a "nice, rule following child"... i feel like a slave... such a whore.... but if it gets them off my ass, im willing to do it.... things have been calm latey... things will be going back to normal sooner or later... or im being too optimistic... one or the other.....

2) im trying to deal with the stress of the really good chance im a loner this year in school. my two only really good friends arent going to be going to my school this year... one is going to some job-school thingy in another city, but his parents said he might not go because his behavior is better, the other is going to another school.... to be quite honest, ive been a loner most of my life, took me to 9th grade to make some real friends that would stick by me when i need them... the chances that i will make more like them this year? slim to freaking none...

solution? none available....

3) horrably HORRABLY depressed lately.... reasons = look above.


so basically, im just trying to deal with life, just trying to get by with whats left of my fragile mentle well being... i will start becoming a frequent here when my family problem is gone, or when i think its gone.

-- jon

[cheese is funny]

thanks for the support everyone, it means alot... my family problem is... pretty calm at this moment, and i think it just might be going away soon.... hey, can optimism help me? maybe... maybe...

well, today was my first day of school, and, to be quite honest, it wasnt as bad as i expected, although, still not too good.... could be worse, ya know?

1st period - i know someone in there... but since im dropping that class because i didnt take it, and i dont want it... it doesnt matter...

2nd period - i kinda know two people in here, acquaintances are better then nothing i s'pose. and the teacher is cool too, she hates the school rules, and hates making kids stand in front of the class and speak, should make for a good year... pretty funny too... but there is a downside, as with most things in my life... she hit on me within the first 20 min of class.... school teacher askes minor for beers at her house, more at 11.

3rd period - algebra two.... need i say more? well, i am... i dont know anyone in here... at all... except for the teacher, he was my algebra one teacher in 9th grade... and i hate him... he likes me and its not uncommon for him to compliment my ass during class.... <cringe>

lunch... hung out with some people i knew from junior high... its like junior high all over again....

4th period - art 1... i dont like to draw art... i like to look at it... damnit! why did i take art!?stupid stupid stupid me.... DAMNIT DAMNIT DAMNIT!!! <cry> being alone in here doesnt help either.... and the teacher managed to confuse the entire class within the first 10 minutes... damn confusing teacher...

5th period - U.S. history... alone here as well.... and my teacher sucks donkey balls for cocaine money... ladeedadeeda.... let me explain, afterschool work (AFS) is one hour of detention afterschool, usually picking up trash or listening to horrable music from the 50-60s while you stare at the clock... well, this teacher, will give a student AFS for the following bull shit reasons... 1) getting up out of one's seat to throw trash away. 2) talking, even if one is helping another student with work. 3) coughing or sneezing too much, its a class disruption ya know.... oh, how i wish i could beat her face in with a golf club....

6th period - chemistry... soooooo boring... soooo stupid.... oh wait, should i be insulting the teacher like that? yes, yes i should... i fell asleep just listening to him... <yawn> not to mention that im alone in there.... sooo boring...

well... that was my first day of 11th grade... not too bad... not too good... guess ill make due with what i have... also, im so unstressed/not depressed after today... i didnt even mind having to break into my own house

thats all i have to report i guess, hoping that things pick up for me sooner or later....