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> Graduation = Too Much Money, sometimes the guilt just kills me
MistressAlti
post Sep 28 2003, 04:12 AM
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Right, so for those of you that don't know me, I'm a senior in... well... a private boarding high school of sorts. And you know what that means: assuming I don't flunk out at the last minute, I'm going to be graduating come May, and along with graduation comes the necessary fees for everything... You know, announcements, pictures, class rings, etc.

Also for those of you that don't know me, a while back (read: too recent for my liking) my mother was in such a financial crunch that they couldn't buy my sister a $30 pair of shoes before school started.

Money's no longer that tight - in fact, it's a lot better, comparitively - but we still don't have that much extra to be throwing around. My mother just spent a good deal on my sister for her homecoming dance, paid a thousand dollars for very necessary car repairs, and is still supporting me at school (not tuition/room/board, as I have a full scholarship covering that, but cash for my Wal-Mart runs and the occasional movie trip, since I'm not allowed to work at this particular school). Start considering in the obvious bills, cost-of-living sorts of stuff, and it adds up to... well... a lot.

To make a long story short, I hated going to her to pay for all this silly graduation stuff. I mean, really, I don't care, when it comes down to it, I don't need it or anything, and it's just a couple hundred more dollars coming out of her already well-stretched pocketbook for gratuitous pomp and circumstance. If I had it my way, I wish I could just have them send my diploma in the mail and be done with it... but things are rarely seen my way.

But I brought the brochures to her anyway, knowing that if I didn't, she'd get overly upset that I didn't let her support me on such an important day, etc... and of course it ended up with a total more than I should have let her spend, on stuff I don't need, just because I'm "supposed to have them" because I'm graduating.

So much guilt. Really. She doesn't need to spend this money on me - I'm a financial drain enough as it is, and so much on an event that shouldn't even matter! I've half a mind to write "VOID" on the check and "accidentally lose" it so she can't order any of it. I should have just thrown away the forms in the first place. Should have never let her see them. Should have. Should should should should. Didn't. I'm such an idiot.

Sorry. Just had to cry somewhere, but too many RLers know where my blog is, and I don't want them to know about this.
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LoLo
post Sep 28 2003, 04:20 AM
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If you want to suggest some stuff to your mom to save her money, but still let her get you the stuff you "need" because you're graduating, here are some ideas.

Design your own announcements. Go buy some nice paper from a computer store and go to Kinkos or some copy place and have them print it on the paper you supply.

Buy your class ring from Wal-Mart. I know it sounds cheesy but they have them and do all the same stuff whatever the freaking expensive company (whom I bought my ring from and it broke a year later) and are a lot cheaper.

Other than that I'm fresh out. I hope everything goes better.


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monkey_called_na...
post Sep 28 2003, 04:28 AM
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the collage im planning to go to is blackburn here in carlinville and im just taking the classes i need so i learn what i need to know- but the thing about blackburn is you have to have a job to attend classes, the job doesnt have to be on campus but you have to hold a job, i think you might like to look into it because if you get a on campus job it pay for half of your food and living in the dorm, its a pretty nice collage but rather small. but we have people that come from all over to go here.
but yeah you have to have a job but you keep the money you earn and if its on campus you get half off everything but books, i think its a good deal!


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Mata
post Sep 28 2003, 11:30 AM
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I don't know what a 'class ring' is but I certainly do know the guilt of putting financial pressure on those that support you through education. None of the schools I've studied at have had a problem with their students having jobs so I've not been unemployed since the age of thirteen (wow... I've just realised I've been in paid employment for half my life... Weird) but my parents bore the brunt of living costs for me until the age of 22 when I left university.

I decided in the end that there was no reason to feel guilty, instead it would be healthier to just let them know how much I appreciate them supporting me. Millions of people across the world cannot afford to give their children an education, or don't even have the chance to offer them schooling in the first place. We are lucky to live in the ways that we do and if I become a parent I will take great pride in looking after my child a they grow. This caring process is not just about giving them a good school and home, it's partly about making sure that they have some of the unnecessary things too.

At the end of the year we will all have spent pretty much all of the money that we have earnt, so it's your mother's right to choose to spend it on you. Money has a way of being spent if not on one thing then on another so we might as well spend it on things that make those around us happy. I guess what I'm saying is that you should try not to feel guilty and make sure that you appreciate sincerely the things that she has given you.


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Jonman
post Sep 28 2003, 04:08 PM
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Blimey. S'a different world innit?

When I finished school, my brother gave me 50 quid to celebrate getting good exam results, which I duly used that night to buy drinks for myself and my friends in the pub. We all got twatted, then a sober mate drove us to the beach, and we watched the sunrise, then slept off the hangover on the sand, played crazy golf, buried each other and juggled.

Top banana day, it was.

All this announcements and class rings and wotnot has the distinct whiff of ludicrousness to it, but that's just me being cynical.


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Feyliya
post Sep 28 2003, 05:02 PM
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When I graduated, my mom printed out her own announcements because she didn't want to buy the pre-made ones. Frankly, the ones she made looked MUCH more unique, and frankly better, than the ones from Jostens. And she didn't even have to have them printed up, she printed them out of our computer herself.

As for the class ring, I can't be much help there. I didn't get one. My mom couldn't even afford to get me one from Wal-Mart, even though they are much much cheaper (and nicer, too, in my opinion). Instead, I wear her old one. If your mom has one, why don't you suggest that? Say that wearing the ring she got at her graduation would mean much more to you than a new one. Suggest that you might even give it to your own kid when he/she graduates. Make it into a tradition.

And then, of course, there's the cap and gown. I got the cheap-o package on that one. Although, my mom paid extra for a diploma plaque because she wanted to hang it on her wall. Does your school make you buy the cap and gown? Mine did, and I couldn't find anyone who could sell me an old one.

Good luck with all this. I know how awful making your loved ones pay for all this cr@p is.


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LoLo
post Sep 28 2003, 05:09 PM
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If you want a baby diahreah colored (aka gold) cap and gown I'll send you mine, you just have to buy a tassle. lol. I don't think my gold and brown one with the haning 97 would be fitting. gah I feel old.


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CrissiLove
post Sep 28 2003, 05:36 PM
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I never got a class ring. I didn't care for one. I didn't even bother to go to graduation.... lol Oh, but I think I still have the maroon gown. You know, the one that has never been worn.... lol So, if anyone needs one, just let me know smile.gif
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MistressAlti
post Sep 28 2003, 05:52 PM
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Lord, cap and gown... sleep.gif We haven't even gotten to ordering that yet, or if we have to order them at all... I have no idea. More money. F***ing hell. dry.gif I sure hope that doesn't cost us too.

I really am going to have to talk to my mother on this, I don't need her spending anything more on me. She keeps hinting for me to give her "graduation gift" ideas and whatnot, but my lips are sealed there - it isn't happening.

And I'm with you, Jonman, it is fairly ridiculous, but so are a lot of things that are considered "traditional". dry.gif Oh well.
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Jonman
post Sep 28 2003, 10:31 PM
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QUOTE (MistressAlti @ Sep 28 2003, 11:01 AM)
And I'm with you, Jonman, it is fairly ridiculous, but so are a lot of things that are considered "traditional".

Hence me going out and getting lashed. Gotta love the British sense of occasion, huh?


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Mata
post Sep 29 2003, 09:25 AM
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QUOTE (Jonman @ Sep 28 2003, 10:40 PM)
QUOTE (MistressAlti @ Sep 28 2003, 11:01 AM)


And I'm with you, Jonman, it is fairly ridiculous, but so are a lot of things that are considered "traditional".

Hence me going out and getting lashed. Gotta love the British sense of occasion, huh?

We've achieved something! Let's get drunk!

We've failed! Let's get drunk!

Someone's died! Let's get drunk!

Someone's been born! Let's get drunk!

Y'see, this is what happens when you get a culture that has evolved from a medieval age where you could only drink beer because the town used the river as a sewer, the kids just had a lower alcohol version ('small beer' I think it was called).

I found it interesting when I was staying with some students in Berkley, CA, in 1999. They would smoke lots of pot pretty much every night but considered me rather odd for suggesting we go out to a bar.


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LoLo
post Sep 29 2003, 01:27 PM
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QUOTE (Mata @ Sep 29 2003, 01:34 AM)
I found it interesting when I was staying with some students in Berkley, CA, in 1999. They would smoke lots of pot pretty much every night but considered me rather odd for suggesting we go out to a bar.

That's because people in Berkley are just plain odd. Nothing against them but they are. I love it there. lol Berkley has the reputation for being one of the most open minded off the wall places in CA. I think there used to be a nudist who went to school on that campus, and only after someone who was offended months later, did she have to start being clothed. However I could be wrong it's a vague memory. /end Berkley spam rant here.


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oobunnie
post Sep 30 2003, 02:18 PM
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Well I think the Grad pics a pretty important, all you relatives are gunna need somethin to wip out and gloat to other about. And their the ones to pics are for besides yourself and friends and what not.

And for grad pics.. one of my friends got them done at walmart rather then jostens (the school provider) and hers truned out the same as ours but were alot cheaper.

I got a grad ring cause I thought it was pretty.. but my father forced me to upgrade it and get it with real white gold and get the real stone n' stuff, so I dont think it will fall apart but I still thinks its pretty. not really a memory thing though.

QUOTE
When I finished school, my brother gave me 50 quid to celebrate getting good exam results, which I duly used that night to buy drinks for myself and my friends in the pub. We all got twatted, then a sober mate drove us to the beach, and we watched the sunrise, then slept off the hangover on the sand, played crazy golf, buried each other and juggled.


laugh.gif That sounds about the same as my after grad sept it was about 50 of us at someone cabin. and are parents all stacked the cabin with food and a couple of small kegs for us. We even got to rent a double decker bus to take us out there. (I thought the bus was the coolest thing at the time.)


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WeeJ
post Sep 30 2003, 02:58 PM
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QUOTE (Feyliya @ Sep 28 2003, 05:11 PM)
[color=green]When I graduated, my mom printed out her own announcements because she didn't want to buy the pre-made ones. Frankly, the ones she made looked MUCH more unique, and frankly better, than the ones from Jostens. And she didn't even have to have them printed up, she printed them out of our computer herself.

Announcments? What are they? Something you send out in the post to people?

And Missy....your mom loves you and she wants you to remember such an important day. I know it may make you feel a bit sucky, but buying stuff such as a class ring will make her feel better and she wants you to have a day to remember forever because she's so proud of you smile.gif

/me hugs


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