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> Where Fore Art Though Barry?
Dedbutdrmng
post Nov 6 2003, 11:50 AM
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Well, I did say I'd come and you did threaten me with violence. So I thought I;d do it right this time.

I am, the international philanthropist, inventer, explorer, chief priest of the mighty church of God-king Brian Blessed and occasional fiction author, RJ Barker.

I am in short, a liar, apart from the author bit, and Ok, yes, I am the nominal head of the Church of Mighty Brian and I did once find something nasty in the back of the cupboard under the sink but I'll let you decide as to whether or not that's exploring. I also invented the now widely accepted theory that prawns are mammals, the BBC are, even now, re filming parts of their "life of mammals" to include the dear little prawn.

FAQ.

Are you a proper author or do you just write Anne Rice fanfic and say "Author" to look big?
I'm a proper author (though very little and unimportant on the great author ladder up to the sky), with acclaim and stuff. But yes, I do also say it to look big, although I've found fluffing up my hair works equally as well.

Why are you here?
I like kittens.
And Barry threatened me.

I find what you have just said/typed in X post offensive.
Take a deep breath, place tongue firmly in cheek, read it again.

And that's my special pretentious introduction.

Hello Matations.

RJ


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Mata
post Nov 6 2003, 12:25 PM
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Hiya RJ, does this mean I will get to hear from you more often than once every couple of months? wink.gif


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Dedbutdrmng
post Nov 6 2003, 12:37 PM
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Possibly, though I wouldn't want to ruin my mystique.

Might be down in Winch towards the end of november if you're about.

RJ


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Mata
post Nov 6 2003, 12:48 PM
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Yeah, I reckon so.

BTW, isn't 'wherefore' one word?


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Dedbutdrmng
post Nov 6 2003, 01:04 PM
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Only if you believe shakespeare, the talantless hack!

or I could still be asleep from WGW X.

RJ


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CrissiLove
post Nov 6 2003, 02:34 PM
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Hi, it's nice to meet you. smile.gif

I like that talentless hack.... unsure.gif lol
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Mata
post Nov 6 2003, 03:49 PM
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RJ is a lovely guy who looks a bit like Byron, but more manly.

He also does a killer impersonation of an owl which, should I manage to get him to a Mata-meet, I will insist that he does for everyone. It normally takes a few drinks though...


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Mr Fuzzy
post Nov 6 2003, 05:19 PM
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QUOTE (Dedbutdrmng @ Nov 6 2003, 11:59 AM)
Why are you here?
I like kittens.
And Barry threatened me.

Threaten you? Me? Surely not... It's just not in my nature...

If you suggest otherwise I'll give you a chinese burn

Ahem.


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CommieBastard
post Nov 6 2003, 11:06 PM
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QUOTE (Dedbutdrmng @ Nov 6 2003, 01:13 PM)
or I could still be asleep from WGW X.

I wanted to go to that. You utter, utter bastard, you.

Oh, and hello.


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cheese is funny
post Nov 7 2003, 04:35 AM
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heya


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Anubis
post Nov 7 2003, 04:49 AM
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Wat up biggrin.gif


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Dedbutdrmng
post Nov 7 2003, 05:12 PM
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Thankyou for the welcome everyone.

Barry, your chinese burn holds no fear for me, I have coated my skin in pure evil*, the merest touch will DOOM YOU FOR ALL ETERNITY.

How you going with the "Stuff" I sent.

RJ

*Pure Evil skincream Copyright Jack Scratch industries 1999. May cause some irritation, such as burning in hell/Returning from the dead to eat your family or a slight rash. We recommend you sample a small amount first. Any complaints please feel free to call our customer services line on 0800-WE-DONT-CARE.
Buying this product is a legally binding contract and WILL place your immortal soul in peril.


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Mr Fuzzy
post Nov 7 2003, 05:30 PM
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Not got started yet I'm afraid. I got distracted by making food, ate it, then decided I wanted more. That lead me to spending more of the day making food, then the afternoon had been stolen.

How about I try the chinese burn with a couple of pairs of molegrips?


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Phyllis
post Nov 7 2003, 08:22 PM
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Hiya, welcome to the forums. smile.gif

.....what is a Chinese burn?? blink.gif


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Pab
post Nov 7 2003, 09:05 PM
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A chinese burn is where one clasps the forearm of the victim in both hands, ones own arms parallel to eachother, with hands totally wrapping the aforementioned victims forearm, firmly but not too tightly mind. One then procedes to rotate both hands in opposite directions around the axis of the forearm so that the skin of the victim stretches at odds with itself, creating a sharp burning sensation in the victim.

This instrument of expression is generally used at school to settle certain arguments and establish the beginning of some form of pecking order within the group.

It is also useful to know that more often than not the victim allows the torture to happen.

Dedbutdrmng would therefore now be considered to be 'for it', and you know it'll cost him a pint'o bitter at least.


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Phyllis
post Nov 7 2003, 09:15 PM
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QUOTE (Pab @ Nov 7 2003, 01:14 PM)
A chinese burn is where one clasps the forearm of the victim in both hands, ones own arms parallel to eachother, with hands totally wrapping the aforementioned victims forearm, firmly but not too tightly mind. One then procedes to rotate both hands in opposite directions around the axis of the forearm so that the skin of the victim stretches at odds with itself, creating a sharp burning sensation in the victim.

Oh. I was wondering if it was the same as an Indian burn. Indeed, it is. We often refer to the severity of said burns in degrees (example : Wowww..lookit that. Candita gave Pablito a 3rd degree Indian burn! It's almost purple!).

Just when I thought I was starting to understand UK slang. Gosh. blink.gif I don't know what "molegrips" are either. Something with which you grip a mole? But why would you want to do such a thing? Hrm. I wonder if anyone makes a dictionary translating UK English to American English. That'd be quite handy.


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Pab
post Nov 7 2003, 09:20 PM
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Mole grip.

This is high grade chinese burn material. These prove almost more than water pistols that these people have been through higher education.


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