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> Im On Total Restriction, because im bisexual...
acidteardrop
post Nov 15 2003, 02:24 PM
Post #1


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i f--king hate my dad. ever since i told him i was bi hes taken away almost every freedom i had. i can no longer go anywhere with anyone but him. i am not allowed to see anyone except in skool. when i get home from skool, as soon as im done my chores i must go strait to my room and come out only when neccessary. i recently join a Gay-Strait Alliance (GSA) group...i can no longer go to. and all because i told him im f--king bisexual. but oh no, thats not the reason he gives...he says its because he needs to get me away from what influencing me to be who i am. INFLUENCING ME OT BE WHO I AM! i am who the f--k i am! WHO THE F--K DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!
what ive been doing that "so wrong of me to do":

i went to halloween in drag(just oen day)
i wore nailpolish to skool the monday after halloween (it was part of my costume, after halloween i just didnt take it off. it was just one day)
i wore a pink feather boa to skool (one f--king day)
i went out with a guy (one day...then he cast me aside. if you dont know the whole story about my gender, just ignore this one)
im in a long distance relationship with krys(magikeyes...and what this has todo with me being bi i have no idea)
ive recently become open about my sexuality, and told people, but thats b/c when something is on my mind...I NEED to tell people. plus, they ask me.
and a few more things.

now...i did that stuff, because its my personality. and he has the boldness to come out and tell me im being INFLUENCED to be bi? f--k that! he also tells me im not ready for sexuality yet, and that he wants to teach me it and no one else. he thinks no one else has my best interests at heart. now look at my restrictions. he has MY best interests? or is he a f--king greedy hypocritial sh-t-faced conservative? Ive been studying sexuality and such since i was 11 or 12. hes never gone to lectures on it, taken classes on it, or anything like that. hes had the life experience of a homophobic hetero. "but my best freind is gay" he says. and this means...? this doesnt matter at all, what does this have to do with it? so big fuckin deal, your best freind is gay. well my ex-bf is gay. also,so are almost all of the people i know. i know more gay/bi/transgender/transsexual people than you and i know strait people combined. go to a GA...THEN you can tell me about sexuality. i also brought the point up...he tells me "i like to be educated on both sides of an argument." ya..hes reading _MY_ book on karl marx. okay, why dont you "teach" me your biphobic sexuality course and ill have people who know what their talking about will be the ones i listen to.

ive given him that whole f--king argument, and he jsut ignored it. didnt even raise an argument, he pretended it didnt exist. thanks for reading this far. it means a lot to me.

what should i do? are there any more points i should raise?


--------------------
im now sextastically married to krys (magikeyes)! i love you so so so so soooooo much!///im engaged to liz(edward_lover)!///I LOVE YOU BOTH!!///I am Missy's slave! yay me!///Krys is my loving girlfriend...i love you infathomably with all my heart, mind, body, soul!///killersquirrel is my first noob ever ^_^///Trina(Spiffy) is me ickle sis! ^_^ /me wuvs trina///Shelly(werewolf) is my older sister! be nice! :P///I am engaged to VVes!///Mina(deaq) is me new n00bie! I LOVE YOU, MIAN!///i have three more n00bies; baldricks gherkinator. they are Jen, David, and Sebastian///Jen must be kept away from microwaves at all times. David must be kept near Jen permanently. Sebastian must not be fed peanuts...he prefers walnuts....
YAY FOR POLYGOMY! YAY FOR YOU ACTUALLY BEING BORED ENOUGH TO ENLARGE ALL OF THIS!

/\_/\ (\ _ /} i would cry but my tears have been stolen
(^.^ ) (='.'=) i would scream but my voice has been taken
(U U ) .(")_(") thus i write.
(''')(''')
kitty attributed to Tigerlily PM me if you are reading ths, i have something to tell you
BI PRIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Alanity
post Nov 15 2003, 02:38 PM
Post #2


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Ouch. *uberhygutiness*
I can't imagine how sucky that whole situation must be, and can't really give any advice or anything, just hygutiness... (hugityness)
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Hyperion
post Nov 15 2003, 03:23 PM
Post #3


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*also, hugs*

Man, that really sucks. I'd tell you to try talking with him, but you obviously have, so I have NO idea what to tell you. My gods... some people can be so afraid of what they don't understand...


--------------------
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acidteardrop
post Nov 15 2003, 04:38 PM
Post #4


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thank you both. it means a lot to know people care.

yeah, i just talked to my sister. she says there is more to it than that, but if there is why doesnt he f--king tell me exactly what the matter is? i think its bullsh-t.

as far as im concerned, you guys are the only family i have. i love you all.


--------------------
im now sextastically married to krys (magikeyes)! i love you so so so so soooooo much!///im engaged to liz(edward_lover)!///I LOVE YOU BOTH!!///I am Missy's slave! yay me!///Krys is my loving girlfriend...i love you infathomably with all my heart, mind, body, soul!///killersquirrel is my first noob ever ^_^///Trina(Spiffy) is me ickle sis! ^_^ /me wuvs trina///Shelly(werewolf) is my older sister! be nice! :P///I am engaged to VVes!///Mina(deaq) is me new n00bie! I LOVE YOU, MIAN!///i have three more n00bies; baldricks gherkinator. they are Jen, David, and Sebastian///Jen must be kept away from microwaves at all times. David must be kept near Jen permanently. Sebastian must not be fed peanuts...he prefers walnuts....
YAY FOR POLYGOMY! YAY FOR YOU ACTUALLY BEING BORED ENOUGH TO ENLARGE ALL OF THIS!

/\_/\ (\ _ /} i would cry but my tears have been stolen
(^.^ ) (='.'=) i would scream but my voice has been taken
(U U ) .(")_(") thus i write.
(''')(''')
kitty attributed to Tigerlily PM me if you are reading ths, i have something to tell you
BI PRIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.webpost.net/ac/acidteardrop/all...ebelongtous.JPG (sorry, that picture's way too big -Commie)
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Sir Psycho Sexy
post Nov 15 2003, 04:59 PM
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he probably sees it as some sort of slur against his masculinity, if you're his only son then it stands to reason he might have thought he's gone wrong somewhere along the line or not have been very attentive, i'd imagine it'd be a fairly big thing to have your child come out and tell you they're bisexual...esspecially for his generation, give it time, he'll probably accept it eventually


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prezgfish
post Nov 15 2003, 05:32 PM
Post #6


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give the man the ultimatum that if he doesn't accept you for what you are and allow you to live your life then you will disown him. that he will no longer be your father he'll just be a guy who had a thing with your mom.

let him know that he will never be an influence in your life and if you ever have kids then he wont have anything to do with them either.

now if the bigot doesnt accept this and thinks your bluffing, you only have to do 1 thing to start off with, a small subtle thing.

stop calling him dad.

start referring to him by his firast name and refuse to use the d-word anymore.

even when talking to your sister reffer to him by his first name.

now he should start getting the point pretty damn quickly.

and if not, then well theres always captain sledge hammer to the rescue.
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magikeyes14
post Nov 15 2003, 06:16 PM
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if your dad has a problem with who u are, thats his deal, dont listen to him. He should be accepting of everything u chose, unless it is like, uber terrible (ie:kill sumon, u gte the drift). I have recently talked to my father about what he would think if i told ihm i was bi and he told me that he woundlt care. he actualy saiud it would be a great thing becuase then he wouldnt have to chase anymore a$$holes away *laughs* anyways, i also asked him about the nail polish thing (u should remember) he said thats total f--king bullshit... my dad may be very odd and erm... yah.. but him and i both disaprove of the way your father is treating you.

the reason for him not listening to your argument was probably becuase he was pissed and just doesnt wanna hear it. Most parents cant stadn their only son/daughter likeing the same sex... and he probably still thinks u are a child and that he has total controll over you. you need to make it clear to him that he cant have TOTAL controll, just becuase he's being homophobic doesnt mean u have to be, and what the hell??! this is the freaking 21 century! kids rebel against their parents, we purposly do the opposite of what they want! why isnt your dad ggetting that!? make it clear to him that he is not going to change your sexual preference becuae he cant change who u are, if he doesnt understand, then o well, thats his problem.. if he continues to ground u for becusae bi or doing something little (wearing nailpolish) then ask him why your grounded, force him to answer you. It always works wiht my dad.. *huggles* sorry aboutt his sweetie, i hope it gets better.....


and he is pissed about u being with me?? blink.gif =/


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monkey_called_na...
post Nov 15 2003, 06:38 PM
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parents are dorks, be what you want to be as long as it makes you happy.


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Rattgirl
post Nov 15 2003, 07:54 PM
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*HUGS* That's totally crazy, the way your dad is reacting. I'm sorry you're going through this. I can understand what you're going through...i'm straight, but my mom is just as straight-laced as your dad, and I can't tell her that I'm pagan because she's told me in the past that if I ever "give up God" she'll disown me. I can only imagine what she'd threaten me with if I ever became bi or discovered I was a lesbian! rolleyes.gif

It sounds like your dad is having some real identity issues of his own. I know that a lot of parents have a hard time coming to grips with their child being bi- or homosexual, because those parents were raised with old philosophies and believe that there is something fundamentally wrong with being attracted to members of the same sex. So when they find out that their child is, they feel that it reflects badly on them as a parent and as a human being...they feel that they somehow went wrong in raising their child, and that it's their fault that this "terrible thing" has happened.

I think the biggest thing you could do to help both you and your dad is to somehow get him to understand that despite what he was told when he was younger, it's not a bad thing to be bi or homosexual. (despite his having a gay man as a friend..I know an unbelievably homophobic guy who's friends with a gay man...he just forgets his friend is gay when he's around. It's sad.) If he can start believing that it's not a slight against him, then he won't feel the need to "straighten you out."

Yeah, that's hard as heck to do but it seems like the best place to start...


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mcsimong
post Nov 15 2003, 08:39 PM
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get to know yourself.
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being the open homosexual i am....

i came out to my mom two months ago. it's been nothing but sheer hell since then. it's a really bad idea to come out to your mom when she's trippin on meth and coke at the same time. dry.gif but it's not like i KNEW she was.. anyway.. she's been clean for 21 days as of today, and i realized, it's even worse when she's sober, because she has the realization that
a) if i dont have another kid i'm not having a grandchild
cool.gif oh crap! i'm not able to have another kid
c) my son's never gonna have a wedding (oh hell yeah he is, right aries?)
d) ... well a whole bunch of other crap that i cant think of off the top of my head
but you know what.. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!!! it really isn't-- and if its a matter of christianity or whatever, "GOD" MADE YOU THE WAY TO ARE. god made me the way i am.. and i love the way i am. you should too. you're an amazing person, erik. we're all amazing people in here, we can all do something that everybody else cant. we can all say "I'M PROUD TO BE WHO I AM. Straight, Bi, Gay, Trans, WHATEVER!!! I'm proud to be who I am. .. and to make me even sexier, i'm a part of the matazone forums!!"

god i'm really going off on a whim here. blink.gif basically what i'm saying is--- well you only have a little while longer until you're 18, erik. when you turn 18 you're going to get your booty out of there and go off and live your own life. be who you want to be, do what/who you want to do. you just need to look toward the future. it's on it's way. it's coming. just a little while longer.

just hold out.


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lygophilia
post Nov 15 2003, 09:38 PM
Post #11


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aawww, I'm sowwy acid...and mcsimong. *hugglez to you both* "Influencing" you to be you you are!!?? mad.gif Grr!... I admire you guys (and all other gays/bisexuals who have gay/bi pride) I wanna have gay pride dry.gif ...but I' not gay... wink.gif so it doesn't work so well... biggrin.gif It'll get better...


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mcsimong
post Nov 15 2003, 10:14 PM
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get to know yourself.
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QUOTE (lygophilia @ Nov 15 2003, 09:47 PM)
aawww, I'm sowwy acid...and mcsimong. *hugglez to you both* "Influencing" you to be you you are!!?? mad.gif Grr!... I admire you guys (and all other gays/bisexuals who have gay/bi pride) I wanna have gay pride dry.gif ...but I' not gay... wink.gif so it doesn't work so well... biggrin.gif It'll get better...

hahaha


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AND I WON'T BLEED UNTIL YOU'RE SLEEPING.


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TigerLily013
post Nov 15 2003, 11:45 PM
Post #13


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QUOTE (prezgfish @ Nov 15 2003, 12:41 PM)
give the man the ultimatum that if he doesn't accept you for what you are and allow you to live your life then you will disown him. that he will no longer be your father he'll just be a guy who had a thing with your mom.

let him know that he will never be an influence in your life and if you ever have kids then he wont have anything to do with them either.

now if the bigot doesnt accept this and thinks your bluffing, you only have to do 1 thing to start off with, a small subtle thing.

stop calling him dad.

start referring to him by his firast name and refuse to use the d-word anymore.

even when talking to your sister reffer to him by his first name.

now he should start getting the point pretty damn quickly.

and if not, then well theres always captain sledge hammer to the rescue.

Sounds good to me, definitely something I would say along those lines.

Follow suit like that ^ perhaps Acid.


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William Wallace
post Nov 15 2003, 11:54 PM
Post #14


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I hope your father chokes. You should cut yourself off from him, go out, get a job, live by yourself, and be free of his overrule. I would have ZERO tolerance of a man like him. dry.gif Stand up for your rights, Acid.


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acidteardrop
post Nov 15 2003, 11:56 PM
Post #15


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sorry wallace...im not even 16 yet, not only would my dad not sign a work release form but no one would really hire my anyways. and what about my skooling? i cant exactly fulfill my goal of being a writer if i dont go to college.


--------------------
im now sextastically married to krys (magikeyes)! i love you so so so so soooooo much!///im engaged to liz(edward_lover)!///I LOVE YOU BOTH!!///I am Missy's slave! yay me!///Krys is my loving girlfriend...i love you infathomably with all my heart, mind, body, soul!///killersquirrel is my first noob ever ^_^///Trina(Spiffy) is me ickle sis! ^_^ /me wuvs trina///Shelly(werewolf) is my older sister! be nice! :P///I am engaged to VVes!///Mina(deaq) is me new n00bie! I LOVE YOU, MIAN!///i have three more n00bies; baldricks gherkinator. they are Jen, David, and Sebastian///Jen must be kept away from microwaves at all times. David must be kept near Jen permanently. Sebastian must not be fed peanuts...he prefers walnuts....
YAY FOR POLYGOMY! YAY FOR YOU ACTUALLY BEING BORED ENOUGH TO ENLARGE ALL OF THIS!

/\_/\ (\ _ /} i would cry but my tears have been stolen
(^.^ ) (='.'=) i would scream but my voice has been taken
(U U ) .(")_(") thus i write.
(''')(''')
kitty attributed to Tigerlily PM me if you are reading ths, i have something to tell you
BI PRIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.webpost.net/ac/acidteardrop/all...ebelongtous.JPG (sorry, that picture's way too big -Commie)
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William Wallace
post Nov 16 2003, 12:18 AM
Post #16


*mechanical breath* The force is with you.
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Get hired or adopted by Mata. Then focus on college.


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Guinness is Good for You.

Loyal son of Scotland
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acidteardrop
post Nov 16 2003, 12:25 AM
Post #17


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good idea. oh wait, mata lives in england.


--------------------
im now sextastically married to krys (magikeyes)! i love you so so so so soooooo much!///im engaged to liz(edward_lover)!///I LOVE YOU BOTH!!///I am Missy's slave! yay me!///Krys is my loving girlfriend...i love you infathomably with all my heart, mind, body, soul!///killersquirrel is my first noob ever ^_^///Trina(Spiffy) is me ickle sis! ^_^ /me wuvs trina///Shelly(werewolf) is my older sister! be nice! :P///I am engaged to VVes!///Mina(deaq) is me new n00bie! I LOVE YOU, MIAN!///i have three more n00bies; baldricks gherkinator. they are Jen, David, and Sebastian///Jen must be kept away from microwaves at all times. David must be kept near Jen permanently. Sebastian must not be fed peanuts...he prefers walnuts....
YAY FOR POLYGOMY! YAY FOR YOU ACTUALLY BEING BORED ENOUGH TO ENLARGE ALL OF THIS!

/\_/\ (\ _ /} i would cry but my tears have been stolen
(^.^ ) (='.'=) i would scream but my voice has been taken
(U U ) .(")_(") thus i write.
(''')(''')
kitty attributed to Tigerlily PM me if you are reading ths, i have something to tell you
BI PRIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.webpost.net/ac/acidteardrop/all...ebelongtous.JPG (sorry, that picture's way too big -Commie)
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Silver Star Ange...
post Nov 16 2003, 01:13 AM
Post #18


The Six Train.
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I'm sorry... but I can't offer much advice since I'm not in this predicament. But I do encourage you to always be who u are no matter what anyone says.


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antagony
post Nov 16 2003, 01:43 AM
Post #19


Has too much time on their hands
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*more hugs*

That's so awful. I haven't come out to my parents yet, and I really really hope they don't react like that when I do. Anyway, I think what prezgfish suggested was a good idea. If he's not going to accept you for who you are, you have no reason to accept him either. Don't recognize him as your father at all.

Good luck. I hope things get better for you soon, and you always have us to turn to. *even more hugs*


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William Wallace
post Nov 16 2003, 06:32 AM
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QUOTE (acidteardrop @ Nov 16 2003, 12:34 AM)
good idea. oh wait, mata lives in england.

Call Mata to wire you some money for Air Fares.

Acid, I have learned this: After so long a time, you must shuck off your parents as a snake sloughs off its skin. You outgrow your parents in the manner a snake does. It seems this has happened to you. You must do as you must.


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spiffilicious05
post Nov 16 2003, 07:06 AM
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Acid I know exactly how you feel and its horrible, I'm sorry ::huggles acid:: But no matter how you do it you have to stand up to your dad and not take that bs from him. I know its easier said than done but it needs to be done

::huggles:: good luck hun


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Rattgirl
post Nov 16 2003, 08:10 AM
Post #22


I forgot my socks
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You can legally apply for emancipation from your parents when you're 14 because at that time, you are able to get a job. At that point, if the courts decide you have good reason to be emancipated, you will have your schooling and housing paid by the government, provided you go to school, get decent grades (like, above a C would be good), and maybe get a part-time job to show that you can be responsible. You'd have to pay for your own utilities, probably.

I know a couple people in the area who are emancipated. It's helped their lives very much for the better, and they usually are able to have a decent relationship with their parents after a while, because their parents realize it's their own flesh and blood they're throwing away, and they can't stand it. Plus, it's good for the parents to see that you're able to take care of yourself without them, so they can't control you....


Just a thought.


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prezgfish
post Nov 16 2003, 05:53 PM
Post #23


I plug directly into my computer
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wait a minute people aproving of an idea I suggested

that aint right huh.gif
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acidteardrop
post Nov 17 2003, 01:26 AM
Post #24


Nobody Expects - THE SPANISH INQUISITION!
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Group: New Members
Posts: 1,289
Joined: 12-October 03
From: Kingston, MA (US)
Member No.: 649



thank you all for your input. but im afraid i cant. this is why:

usually my dad isnt like this. usually hes a pretty cool (if terribly embarassing) person. hes someoen i can share battles of wits with and such. this is the only tim hes really been like this...i care about my father...but this...this is so blindingly infuriating...gah!

yeah...basically thats why i cant. this iwll sort itself out.


--------------------
im now sextastically married to krys (magikeyes)! i love you so so so so soooooo much!///im engaged to liz(edward_lover)!///I LOVE YOU BOTH!!///I am Missy's slave! yay me!///Krys is my loving girlfriend...i love you infathomably with all my heart, mind, body, soul!///killersquirrel is my first noob ever ^_^///Trina(Spiffy) is me ickle sis! ^_^ /me wuvs trina///Shelly(werewolf) is my older sister! be nice! :P///I am engaged to VVes!///Mina(deaq) is me new n00bie! I LOVE YOU, MIAN!///i have three more n00bies; baldricks gherkinator. they are Jen, David, and Sebastian///Jen must be kept away from microwaves at all times. David must be kept near Jen permanently. Sebastian must not be fed peanuts...he prefers walnuts....
YAY FOR POLYGOMY! YAY FOR YOU ACTUALLY BEING BORED ENOUGH TO ENLARGE ALL OF THIS!

/\_/\ (\ _ /} i would cry but my tears have been stolen
(^.^ ) (='.'=) i would scream but my voice has been taken
(U U ) .(")_(") thus i write.
(''')(''')
kitty attributed to Tigerlily PM me if you are reading ths, i have something to tell you
BI PRIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.webpost.net/ac/acidteardrop/all...ebelongtous.JPG (sorry, that picture's way too big -Commie)
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prezgfish
post Nov 17 2003, 01:42 AM
Post #25


I plug directly into my computer
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Group: Banned
Posts: 3,954
Joined: 27-February 03
Member No.: 61



there is a possibility that you're dad is just shocked and needs some time to calm down and let all the information go throw his brain if you give him time and if he is the man you described then i'm sure everything will be better again
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