Some Advice?, for a noob... Options

[Weary Traveler]

Right, first I've got to explain something because its semi important: what I've got to ask about has to do with relationships and if you give me some advise that would be awsome but please put it in semi simple terms considering when having to do with relationships I am a noob in the worse for of the word. I mean uber noob elite. 16 and I have never had a girlfriend, or boyfriend for that matter, I've never been on a date and until last sunday had never kissed. so you can see that as I said, I am the uber noob. the only people worse off then me are prudes and morons. anyway back to my problem...

There is this very nice girl named Jenni that I know. A wonderful person and we had been getting along very well, as in my first kiss last sunday very well. So I decided that I would ask her out firday, which I still might. the problem is that she had been dating this guy named Dan, he's a complete ass and she had broken up with him for cheating on her with anouther girl. but it seems that I think yesterday they had gotten back together because she "loves him and has come to expect guys cheating in a relationship" that sickens me. it seem that any other relationship she has been in ended in the same way, the guy cheating on her and she's come to expect it as normal. If there is anyone here who doesn't find just that sick and twisted then they need some readjustment. My problem comes that I still really like this girl and I don't want to see her with this ass but I don't know if there is anything I can do. I would still go ahead and ask her tomorrow but I'm pretty sure the anwser would be no. I could wait for the ass to mess up again but she might just accept that as normal and let it go. I don't know what to do. Its a tough sitution because I want to help a friend and get a girlfriend at the same time. for some reason I doubt its going to happen.

Any advise would be greatly appreciated. thanks.

~Nevins

[Jonman]

'ello fella.

The way I see it, this is a prickly one as you've got a conflict of interests. On the one hand, you're concerned that your friend is going to be hurt again by a backstabbing asshole ('scuse my Anglo-Saxon). On the other hand, you'd like nothing more than to strip her naked and do things to her that you wouldn't see on daytime TV.

So, having told her about the second point, there's the distinct danger that any action you take to try to achieve the first point (i.e. looking out for her)will be misconstrued by her as you trying to achieve the second point (dancing the horizontal tango). All the more so as it seems that she's accustomed to fellas being lying untrustworthy twats.

On the flip side of the coin, it sounds like her current boyfriend is the type to repeat his mistake, in which case, you're in the prime position to be a shoulder-to-cry-on. You're also in the prime position to be the rebound revenge target, where she will fall into your arms to get back at him next time he screws up. This could be very good (if you're not above being used), or very bad (if you are above being used).

Anyway, good luck, and stiff upper lip, old bean!