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> Decisions, life
spiffilicious05
post Feb 5 2004, 10:02 PM
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Recently (within the past 3 days), a tenth grader at my highschool comitted suicide. I didn't know him that well, but it's starting to get to me. I've recently become aware that many of my friends (including myself) have had suicidal thoughts. What's even worse is more and more people are giving up and giving in. It just makes me wonder if it's my turn next. I know I've come close to the edge before but I have friends who have always brought me back, many of whom are located on this forum. If they don't have to put up with this stuff then why should I? I guess I really don't know what I'm saying other than life's not fair, and it's too short.

There was a time when I came unbelievably close to actually killing myself and then I realized that I didn't want to die, and it was the scariest feeling I've ever had. As much as I feel I want to die at times, I think about how it felt, me lying on my couch just wondering if I'd wake up in the morning because of all the pills I took. Trying to stay awake.

Please, before you comment on this post, I'm not trying to be an attention whore, just venting and looking for opinions/guidance.

*end rant*

thanks for listening sad.gif smile.gif


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the lil' pie...
post Feb 6 2004, 10:01 AM
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aww trina!! *uber-huggles* i don't know what to say, it's such a familiar feeling...i've never got near enough to trying, but i had days when only an interruption of some sort stopped me from starting. argh...i hate not being able to say something useful...just wait for someone else to reply, they'll help a lot more dry.gif
but, i still lurve you!! *more hugs*


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Pixelgoth
post Feb 6 2004, 10:22 AM
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I know how shitty it feels to feel down right now so *hugs* for you smile.gif

I know it goes without say but please don't kill yourself!! You did the right thing by posting your feelings. Everyone has told me that it's the first step towards getting a better outlook and life for yourself.

Just remember that suicide really isn't an easy way out for anyone. We have all been affected by it ourselves quite recently so we understand how crappy it makes you feel.

I hope things start to look up for you soon.

Don't forget we are all here for you!!

*hugs*


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franken-sarah
post Feb 6 2004, 11:21 AM
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QUOTE (spiffilicious05 @ Feb 5 2004, 10:01 PM)
I guess I really don't know what I'm saying other than life's not fair, and it's too short.

Oh, Sweetie, no-one's gonna think anything bad of you for speaking (posting?), your thoughts and feelings!! As we all know it's hard to get yourself back up when your down but dwelling on bad stuff is not the way to get yourself feeling more positive. It's very hard when you experience suicide or death of any kind on a personal level and it often causes introspection and re-evaluation but as you yourself said: "lifes too short"!

Last week (as some of you will know), one of my friends who's been battling leukemia for years died, he'd got to the point where he couldn't bear any more treatment. He was such a happy, caring and brave person. Him dying made me realise how short life is and, yeah, it's not fair - but then again life's only what you make of it. We all come across things that set us back but you need to concentrate on the positive.

It's sooo hard to say anything very helpful via a thread but I hope the fact that you have people here who will support you and want to talk to you about your feelings helps.

*hugs* smile.gif


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antagony
post Feb 6 2004, 11:23 AM
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I've felt like that a few times as well, particulawrly (like you said) after I hear about someone else killing themselves. It just makes it seem easier, doesn't it?

Being optimistic about things isn't easy, particularly when faced with someone else's suicide, even if you hardly knew them (which has always been the case for me). The fact that you changed your mind when you tried to kill yourself shows that you really do have a will to live, which means that really, killing yourself just isn't an option. That's not to say you couldn't do it, but I'm sure that even you recognize that living is just... well, better.

Don't kill yourself. There are so many things to live for out there. More than you or I could possibly imagine, I'm sure. The good thing about low points is that it only gets better from here.

Yeah, that was stupid advice... it's just the kind of thing I use to talk myself out of suicide whenever I consider it. In spite of my negativity I'm actually pretty optimistic, in a weird sort of way. My advice is just to keep on going, because ultimately everything you have to put up with is worth it in the end. I hope you feel better soon.


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spiffilicious05
post Feb 7 2004, 01:06 AM
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QUOTE
I know it goes without say but please don't kill yourself!! You did the right thing by posting your feelings. Everyone has told me that it's the first step towards getting a better outlook and life for yourself
.

I wasn't really making this thread with suicidal thoughts in mind, I was just venting. But thank you guys for responding, I've needed it and this has been a somewhat crappy week.


QUOTE
I've felt like that a few times as well, particulawrly (like you said) after I hear about someone else killing themselves. It just makes it seem easier, doesn't it?


That's so true. The death of the kid in the sophomore class just made me think.


Thank you guys for responding, and I'm sorry that I didn't answer your posts as quickly as I could. I've just been down and busy lately.

*hugs* Thank you guys I feel lurved happy.gif


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Squeaky swings and tall grass
The longest shadows ever cast
The water's warm and children swim
And we frolicked about in our summer skin


Where I roam...
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