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> Sh-t, cutting, pot, ruined plans....
EvilSpork
post Feb 24 2004, 12:10 AM
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So some of you may have read or talk to me and help me with my friend in Illinois. Her name is Samantha for those of you who read my journal you've probably seen me mention her quite a lot. I admire her greatly, but she has been on a steady downhill.. And she won't get help. Anyway here is the story I guess.

So I've known her for about 4 years (if not more) years now. We've both changed, but we haven't grown apart, if anything we have grown closer. I met her in a MMORPG, neither of us play now.. But I kept in touch with her outside of the game. I got to know her, and I love her dearly. She's been sinking into depression, has been cutting a lot and I make a difference, and she tells me I'm the only one that really listens and trys to help. I know its not a big difference, but I try my hardest and it makes me stressed a lot. She wasn't cutting for a long time because of me and then not too long ago she cut up a lot. Today she told me she was going to get some pot from a friend because she wants to try it "just once" she told me... "Just once." I know better than that because I've had so many (ex)friends change for the worst. They all said "just once" as well. To top it all off, not too long ago she found out she HAS to go with her mother and father to N. Carolina to furniture shop or something along those lines.. Guess when? April 8th. That ruined my plans.

I know you can't help for the last one, believe me I'm trying to think how I can work that one out... The week I was going I had off from school so I wouldn't have to worry about school work. I wouldn't be able to be excused for this anyway.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm crushed to tell you the truth.. I need some help... Thanks for reading if you even bothered... I just need help with this I guess... Support or something...
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Silver Star Ange...
post Feb 24 2004, 12:18 AM
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Lift your chin up. Hold on... tell her that you love her and you can't bear to see her do that to herself. And there's always other days.... who knows? Maybe they'll blow off the furniture thing. But if they don't just try again. But about the pot... she might need professional help about that. Try asking her why she's cutting herself. Maybe you could talk her out of it. But don't lose faith. Love has the power to conquer all. And no matter what, we will always be there for you, and her. *hugs you and hands you a cake*


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Alaric
post Feb 24 2004, 03:25 AM
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My ex did do pot just once.. and once i found out she did. I told her(asked really) to not do it again. I told her i loved her but i wont stand for because A. sucks to kiss a smoker. B its just dumb(no offence to those who do..) and C. i didn't want to see her turn out like someone i know. Just try reasoning with her and talking. If it comes down to letting her do it once and no more. I would settle for it, as long as she keeps her word and not do it again.


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EvilSpork
post Feb 24 2004, 03:59 AM
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I'm really beating myself up for all of this. I doubt I will sleep tonight. So anyway, thanks for reading.. And giving advice. I'm going to try to get some sleep and see how things are tomorrow. I wish I could call, but its late... Damnit. I hate this...
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Dreams On Hiatus
post Feb 24 2004, 03:27 PM
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Just keep trying to help her as best as you can. She is the one who has to realize what she is doing to herself. Just keep letting her know you care. Maybe one day she will decide she wants to stop. I'm sorry that I can't offer any real sage advice. sad.gif


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magikeyes14
post Feb 26 2004, 12:30 AM
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i have to admit ive tried pot once and only once.. dont want to do that again >_< anyways... sumtimes you just have to let her do what she is oging to do. I know you love her dearly and that wont change but let her know that and that u care a lot and dont want her to smoke. If she doesnt listen and she still wants then thats her choice, you cant change that. The cutting i am fimiliar with. You cant really make her stop or change her mind. For sum people it helps as well as harms. Let her know that it hurts you when she does and if she doesnt at least make an effort to stop then she might not care for you as much as she says she does? Im sorry your plans to go see her got ruined.. that sucks total @ss but then again.. sh_t happens? *sigh* make sure she knows how much you care and how much her decisions affect you.. it might help her make her mind. Also if she does end up smoking.. let her know how upset and angry you are with her... tell her the consiquences of it.. and if that doesnt work.... she can talk to my brother dry.gif he almost ended up dieing from smoking too much (along with other drugs but thats a differnt story) *hugs* hope i was of sum or at least a little help


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Juiceisgood
post Feb 26 2004, 06:50 AM
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Maybe you should be more worried about your friend cutting her flesh with a knife than smoking a little weed. I smoke every day, and I don't cut myself, and I'm a happy chappy at the top of his class and all that jazz...

Once again, I wouldn't worry about the weed, which really can't hurt you unless you smoke it like a fiend, and honestly I think smoking weed like a fiend is preferable to self harm, it may even help her to become more relaxed and thereby stop her hurting herself. Marijuana is actually quite soothing, non-habit forming (to a reasonable degree), and can help you overcome problems, or at least help you to live with yourself. It can lead to depression, but it can do alot of good, not to mention assist in the creative process.

Honestly, if people took a more relaxed attitude to grass, the depression associated with it would lift, why? Because people who use it become alitenated from their own society, hunted for their vices. If anything, weed has taught me to relax, and I can't say that it has really done anything bad, apart from a very mild smoker's cough... then again, I smoke tobacco as well.

If you want to protect her, get her off the self harm, it may help with dealing with problems, but it's alot more detrimental to the health (mind and body) than any drug. Keep her away from the things that really do damage, like smack, and have a more open mind.

Or you could not, just my opinion smile.gif


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Enslaved
post Feb 26 2004, 05:15 PM
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The best advice I can give is this:

By "cutting" I assume you are talking about self mutilation, or so called "slashers".

I have a friend that is a "slasher" and I'm not sure if she's doing it at the moment but she was a year ago when she was really depressed. From my experience I realised that there is no great harm in it, they usually just cut their flesh, which heals. It gives them an adrenaline rush and I guess makes them feel alive. It bothered me at first and I don't like the idea of someone I love hurting themself, but it helped her deal and I guess thats what she needed, so all I could do was be there for her, be supportive and look past the self mutilation.

I am like you in the way that I would never consider self mutilation, which because we haven't experienced it, we can't really pass judgement on it. Just try to understand their reason for it.

I have a similar situation where I take drugs to help me deal. Most people frown upon that, but they don't understand that I would have nothing without them. I guess drugs are my reason for living at the moment.

So rather than looking at all the bad things she's doing, think about the fact that she is greatful she has you as a friend and that you care about her. Because I'd say if she didn't have you, she wouldn't be here now. Its the ony thing you can do, just be there for her, try to stay strong and know that we are all here if you need advice, someone to listen or even just a hug.

And with that *big hugs* I hope things get better for her.


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Juiceisgood
post Feb 27 2004, 08:19 AM
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QUOTE
I guess drugs are my reason for living at the moment.


Was mine too for a while, but it gets a tad boring if that's all you do. I understand though, country Australia is a boring place to live, drugs are the main entertainment. But Melbourne, god damn, the greatest city in the world cool.gif


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