Uses For Toasters, I'm buying my friend one Options

[gothictheysay]

Following Jonman's suggestion, I am buying a toasty maker for my friend. However, I need extra uses for it. I'm going to give them to my friend, and don't worry, I'll quote you. So far I have

- To make toastys

- General humor value

- Self defense (anyone read the langoliers?)

- Taking up counter space

- Mystifying lower life-forms

- General amusement (he's easily amused)

Thanks

[Hobbes]

Poor toasters, getting used and abused all the time. I feel sorry for the toaster, thus shown by this which I wrote a year or so ago.

I'm sick of being a toaster.
The clients act the same.
They keep on yelling, "Browner lad!"
It's such a flippin' pain.

They all take me for granted.
I'm more than just for toast!
I'm pretty good with crumpets,
An accomodating host.

Occasionally I show them,
That they can't mess with me.
I make sure that I burn the loaf,
So there's none left for tea!

But still they just put bread in,
Be it wholemeal, white, or brown.
Expecting that I'll make them,
They greatest toast in town.