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> Life Changing Experiences., Why you are how you are?
Snugglebum the D...
post May 4 2004, 11:15 PM
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F*cking with the best since 1996
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This is kinda off the back of the topic started by Magikeyes14, about how you've changed over the years. It got me thinking about why I've changed in the ways that I have. I believe everyones life has it's defining moments - moments where something happens (perhaps something so small that others would find insignificant), that makes you re - evaluate you life and change it.

I've had quite a few of these in my life (parents divorcing, having a child etc...). The biggy though, well, that was when my first love dumped me when I was 18. We'd been together two years and he actually dumped me on our 2 year anniversary, in the place that we met (what a gentleman he was! rolleyes.gif ). Anyway, that prompted me to change everything about myself - inside and out. I have to say that the person that I was for the first 18 years of my life is well and truly dead.

All in all, I think it was the best thing that ever happened to me!

So I want to know what you lot think was the biggest defining moment in your life, how it changed you and whether or not you think it was for the good or bad.


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Art should be an expression of what humanity is capable of imagining - not limited to representing that which surrounds us - Demetrios Vakras
funked)out_frog is my special Harem slave
Harem count: Markslut, xkitsurabamix, Black - Wings, Candice, Moop, Daedalus, The Lorax, Franken - Sarah, Artemisia, Cath, Wyvern, Saucy Tara, PsychWardMike, JimiJimi, Fallen Element, Smiler, Korbin Dallas, laenan kite, Valerie, Faerieryn, trunk_girl26, Sir Psycho Sexy, Steam Roxxor, pgrmdave, monkey_called_narth
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snooodlysnoosnoo...
post May 5 2004, 10:30 AM
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dream to make believe
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Living Alone and starting Uni.

Living alone has made me more paranoid but it has also made me more aware of everything I hate about myself.

Uni has also done this but to a lesser extent, being surrounded by 11 girls, slightly older than me who all live together and have nothing in common with me, and 2 guys, who are slightly older and have nothing in common with me, and spending the rest of the day alone all day every day isn't fun. It's made me really paranoid, when we are waiting for our lectures they all bitch about the people who aren't there and it makes me wonder if they do the same when they go home. I don't care what they think about me but it's made me really jumpy.

I'm hoping this is only temporary though, maybe next year I'll get some people to live with me so at least I don't have to worry about the axe whielding maniacs by myself.

I'm jibbering, sorry


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porcelainwarrior
post May 5 2004, 12:22 PM
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Meeting my boyfriend, before that I was a very introverted person, although I had friends I only saw them a school and the only people I really communicated with were via the internet. Nothing wrong with that if you're happy doing it but I was beginning to feel very left out of things and would get very paranoid at school casue I had this reputation for being wierd. Meeting Robert kind of forced me out of my shell though, he's incredibly outgoing, the whole reason I met him was cause he was with one of my friends who he'd randomly started talknig to on the street one day! It meant that I was with his friends a lot and going out every night and staying with him at weekends. As a result I had very little time for my online friends which I regretted but I think I'm getting a better balance now...It also made me much more outgoing at school, and now I have a lot more friends there too!

I finally realised that people weren't going to come looking to be my friend, not if I shut them out the way I'd been doing for years. I became a lot more laid-back and made an effort to be friendly.

Yay! Go -ness!


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LoLo
post May 5 2004, 02:24 PM
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I have a lot.

-when my parents got divorced
-the age of eight I discovered that church wasn't my schtick
-when the boy I liked asked me out but I thought he was making fun of me so we never ended up going out
-when I uprooted myself and moved 3000 miles away for a guy
-caught the guy cheating on me so rerooted myself 3000 miles away from him
-going back to school
-the first time I got fired

and I'm sure there will be more. Man most of those are negative, I've gotta work on some other ones.


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Being Pimped By Aries Since 2003
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Fluffy
post May 5 2004, 11:37 PM
Post #5


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*WARNING: LONG, RAMBLING, POST*

The most defining moment in my life was back in September 2003. Before then, I was a horrible person, angry, violent, mean, the works. Anyway I was at my friends birthday party. I had just fallen asleep, and I woke up to find my friend Sammy pouring fish food on my head. Well, irritable as I was before, I took this as a serious insult to my pride and hit him right in the face. I had long nails then too, so my thumb nail caught him, his eye was hurt pretty badly, but luckily he reacted in time to where all that had happened was that he had a black eye, a bleeding nose, and a bleeding eyelid (I use the term "All he had was..." lightly). He naturally screamed out in pain, as anyone would unless they were extremely tough (nails in eyelid = not fun), and seeing him rolling there in pain, the same thing kept repeating in my mind, "I over-reacted, I over-reacted, I over-reacted..." I cried and thought that night through. And as I thought, I decided to reform, I would no longer be the causer of pain, I would no longer be the one who was obsessed with darkness and hated people, I would no longer be the one who hits someone for some fish food on the head. I became a pacifist, my creed became love and peace, and I changed in many other ways as a result of this. I am now much less introverted, happier, still follow my creed, refuse to hurt anyone except to protect myself and others, am considered so genorous by my peers that they ask for insane amounts of money to see what I'll say, and they promptly refuse whenever I tell them, "I'll bring as much as I have tomorrow, hopefully that helps," am no longer stuck up, and so many other wonderful things that I wasn't before. This change is for the better, I think so and so do all my friends. Speaking of friends, this also showed me that, no matter what happens, my friends are loyal to me and each other (and I to them now). For, looking back at what a horrible person I was, my friends still remained my friends throughout, even Sammy. I hope, one day, I will compensate for all of the things I've done, and then, I will continue to do good. I still have to work out a few problems in my manner (mostly just my sharp tongue, I've provoked guys to the point of slapping me when I ridiculed their idea that anyone who was for peace was a wimp and an idiot. Actually, I thought my comments were mild, but, whatever, ear of the beholder I guess. Other than that, it's minor things.). Also, in this change, I found peace in myself and made myself a better Christian (which, as implied, is the religion I believe in, before my change I would, nowadays, hardly call myself a Christian). Of course, all of these changes were gradual, but they were still all triggered by that one moment. Making it the one most defining moment in my, so far, 13 year, 5 month, and 24 day life-span.


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Sir Maxerpopple
post May 5 2004, 11:49 PM
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Is conformity, consumption, and obedience really that bad?
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About three months ago one of my closest friends and I stopped speaking. She felt I had been manipulating her, and looking back on it I realize how selfish I was to her, letting my emotional instability following rejection from her seep over to her. I acted despicably, using her to make me feel better about myself without true regard for her. She let me into her confidence, helped me when I needed it most, and was a great person to talk to. She's one of the greatest people I've ever known.

I never felt more remorse, regret, guilt, and sorrow ever in my life, but the reaction doesn't justify the action. I was and am a horrible person, and treated her horribly. I don't deserve her forgiveness or even her friendship anymore.

When I look back I see I was no better than the others who hurt her, and about last week I came to just that realization. Realizing you are someone who you used to berate and intensely dislike is a shocking and horrible realization.

I've made the descision to stop requiring others to make me feel better about myself, to become more self-reliant and more hermit-esque. It's just a horrible, horrible tragedy that the cost i had to pay for this life changing event was hurting someone I cared for, losing one of the best friends I've ever had, losing someone who trusted me, and me betraying that trust.

It's time for me to realize my flaws and not let anyone go through what I put her through ever again.


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Snugglebum the D...
post May 5 2004, 11:59 PM
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Look, I wouldn't ordinarily give advice to someone I don't know. But I'm making an exception - please tell me to feck off if you want.

Sir Maxerpopple - from what I have seen you are a very intelligent and articulate individual. I've seen that you feel you have done someone a dis - service. But the bottom line is this - in the grand scheme of your life, this actually means nothing.

You will do many things like this. That's life.

Bottom line - you made a mistake. That's human. All you can do is apologise and move on. That's it. You can't do any more than that.

Stop punishing yourself and live.


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Art should be an expression of what humanity is capable of imagining - not limited to representing that which surrounds us - Demetrios Vakras
funked)out_frog is my special Harem slave
Harem count: Markslut, xkitsurabamix, Black - Wings, Candice, Moop, Daedalus, The Lorax, Franken - Sarah, Artemisia, Cath, Wyvern, Saucy Tara, PsychWardMike, JimiJimi, Fallen Element, Smiler, Korbin Dallas, laenan kite, Valerie, Faerieryn, trunk_girl26, Sir Psycho Sexy, Steam Roxxor, pgrmdave, monkey_called_narth
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gothictheysay
post May 6 2004, 01:28 AM
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*thinks* no wonder I'm so stressed out lately. A lot of stuff is happening. Primary big moments in my life -

- at age four my mother was diagnosed with cancer. this marked years of treatment and struggle for everyone, especially my poor, saint-like mother.

- my mother's death when I was ten.

- the start of my depression right afterwards.

- changing from elementary school to middle school. After this summer, I do another big change and go to high school.

- the way I let people manipulate me and use me in sixth grade. It wasn't good at the time, but it's good to know that I can get past that.

- my start of self-injury in seventh grade.

- emotional stuff, especially this year.

and of course, meh, my suicide attempt/reconsideration and all the stuff I'm going through currently to deal with my depression.

Most of this sounds negative. Well, I'm sort of a pessimist like that. ehh...well...that's all for now.


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Sir Psycho Sexy
post May 6 2004, 02:00 AM
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Life changing experience? When I have one I'll let you know


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the lil' pie...
post May 6 2004, 01:54 PM
Post #10


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seconding that.
but, i guess, meeting rich (my now not ex) changed me a lot, because being in love brings so much more to your life. it's made me more confident about my looks, although in the grand scheme of life i know that's not that important. it's made me more sensitive, and more open-minded.
just getting older had changed me a lot as well. deaths in loved ones families have made me appreciate life and people in it more.
i don't consider myself to have had 'life-changing' experiences, but the experiences i have had, i've learnt from.


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monkey_called_na...
post May 6 2004, 05:47 PM
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I'm an inefficient bear. Maul.
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my main one was when i stoped drinking... i think you can tell when you go back over my posts exactly when this line happened... i stoped being a jerk...


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ATTACK SLOTH!

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CrazyFooIAintGet...
post May 6 2004, 07:03 PM
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- started school number 1, made a friend (yay)
- started school number 2, had no friends
- changed classes and made another friend (yay)
- started school number 3, met up with friend number 1 (yay)
- made friends with chief idiot friend due to lonelyandconfusedness in food tech
- went psychotic a lot and hit friends/enemies after being bullied and then being constantly stressed
- when I stopped being friends with idiots/recognised good friends/made more friends (yay)
- when i got a job and was forced to talk to people
- started sixth form - much less getting up early = much happier me
- when my mum died
- when i randomly decided to be more optimistish

urm.. probably more *shrugs* but then theyre not all really life changing experience worthy.. oh well ph34r.gif


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