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> If A Teacher Told You To Choose..., what would you pick?
spiffilicious05
post May 17 2004, 12:51 PM
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Okay, so the past year and a half I've been suffering from depression and it wasn't until recently that I was diagnosed and have been seeing someone for it. Well one of the select corses that I'm in requires that you audition and have high grades in that class, it's a music class. Well, my grades were origionally 95's in there, but lately they've been 92's and I got one 89. Ontop of that sr's almost always make it unless you really suck. (I'm a jr auditioning for my sr yr).

Well she decided to kick me out because my grades dropped, when I told her that I was sorry, and my grades are actually rising right now (which is the truth) she didn't care. Then I told her about my depression, and most of my teachers have given me a little leeway (sp?) once they've found out but again she didn't care. Then I told her why I have been so depressed and only a few ppl (such as ri and my friend matt) know.

She told me "you had to choose between your life and chorale, and you made the right choice but you just couldn't do both. You decided to fix your life and your grades slipped. Granted what happened to you was horrible and it was something you had to fix but you made your choice."

I was floored.


sry, that is all. -- but anyways -- if a teacher told you to choose between your life and her corse - how would you react?


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Righteous
post May 17 2004, 01:55 PM
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I'd punch the bitch square in the face for that.

You've been through a lot and you've told me about all of it. I love you so much and I hate how she thinks her coure requires complete dedication like it's the goddamn military or something. (hug)


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spiffilicious05
post May 17 2004, 01:58 PM
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Thanks (hug)


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Aislinn Faye
post May 17 2004, 06:35 PM
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Omg, that is so much bull!! It's a public school I'm guessing? You should get a doctors note or something. Or have her audited (sp) for being such a bitch. And if you chose her damned class anyways, you would have suffered more, because you wouldn't have been able to fix your depression to begin with. I think she's just pissed because her class isn't seen as important as Math or English, that's why her panties are in a twist.


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Pikasyuu
post May 17 2004, 06:39 PM
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Uh, I understand some of you are upset, but let's try not to make a habit of using the b-word, eh? ^^;

And while your teacher didn't give you as much leeway as some of the others, it sounds like she was trying to at least make it seem like she understood what you were going through. Have you tried seeing it from her point of view, and if so, maybe another talk is in order? Or you could go to an administrator about the problem.


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Righteous
post May 17 2004, 06:40 PM
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The term "ego trip" comes to mind, as does "Napoleonic complex." Damn teachers take themselves too seriously (well, not all, but many).


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Pikasyuu
post May 17 2004, 06:43 PM
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. . . so the teacher is automatically on an ego trip and has a huge problem because she wasn't going to make an exception? There are lots of kids with depression these days, perhaps she's had a lot of cases like this and if she fixes it for one kid, has to make the change for the bunches of others with a mental disorder. And on the flip side, making one thread just to bash a teacher for several pages is a little pointless. Again, try and see it from her POV.


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Righteous
post May 17 2004, 06:44 PM
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All right, maybe not an ego trip but mayhap taking herself a little too seriously.


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MistressAlti
post May 17 2004, 06:49 PM
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Being a teacher is a difficult thing... I'm with Katii here, look at this from her point of view. She's got administrators and an entire district to answer to, most likely, and it's doubtful she can just make all sorts of exceptions without violating some policy or another.

Also, have you considered that perhaps she didn't mean it quite the same way you took it? She told you that you made the right choice. Did you notice that? You made the right choice. She wasn't saying that you should have worked harder to keep grades afloat. She means that your quality of life was the most important thing, both to you and to her. Maybe she doesn't want to be distracted by the choir so that your life slips in importance again, seeing as you have already professed difficulty in managing it? In my opinion, her decision shows that she cares on some level for your well-being.

The fact that she can't make an exception for you is indeed hard for you, but certainly not worth the verbal beating you're giving her... think about it a bit more. You'll see what I mean.
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ravein
post May 17 2004, 10:23 PM
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Being I work with teachers on a daily basis I have to urge you to see the teachers side. You have talent, hence why you made chorus to begin with. But there are other students who have talent as well who want to be in chorus, but due to class size restrictions there may not be space for them. At this time in your life you do need to concentrate on your well being... and she has to concentrate on the well being of all her students. I know it sucks, but if you’re not able to fully contribute then she has to make room for other students who can. I agree that her method may have come off a little abrasive but she did let you know that she understood. Being a teacher is a thankless job.. not to mention a very underpaid job as well. Cut her a little slack.. I am sure she did what was in the best interest of everyone. Look at the up side, there is a good chance she will welcome you back once your life is back together and your grades are up to par. I know it is disappointing.. I was upset when I got cut from track because my grades fell.. but there where talented athletes that where pulling their weight when I was not. Also, there may be school regulations that she has to follow.


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Righteous
post May 17 2004, 10:41 PM
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Eh, call my cynical, but I've grown up around miserable teachers who don't give a rat's ass about their students and see what they say/do/think as the be-all and the end-all. I don't trust teachers. Nothing against them, but that's just how I view things. My mom's a teacher and she's one of the few I've encountered who gives a damn about her students. I'll admit to there being good teachers out there, but I'm not very trusting toward educators as a whole.


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Silver Star Ange...
post May 17 2004, 10:59 PM
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You should sue. Depressed isn't something you wake up one morning and decide you wanna be... it's even a chemical imbalance (thank you Zoloft commerical.)!


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spiffilicious05
post May 17 2004, 11:12 PM
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Yes I notice that she said I made the right choice, but it wasn't so much what she said rather how she said it. The performing arts deparment at my school has always been rather anal. You have to understand that I am trying to see things from her point of view, but when I see her letting her favorite students who have grades lower than mine in, I feel I have the right to complain.

To add to this I auditioned for a state conference with my group to sing at for next year, if we make it she won't allow me to sing with the group. She told me I had to chose between life and chorale. That's just wrong.

I told her that I was sorry if I let her down, that I was trying my best when my body wouldn't function, and asked her what I could do to fix anything. She wouldn't hear it. She told me that if I wanted to I could audition to be in it for the second half of the yr next yr. That means I'd have to rearrange my schedule half way through the yr (I already have to now) and that I'd miss half of the concerts and our trip to NYC.

I'm trying to work with her, I'm even being so nice to her it sickens me. Just when she told me if I told her why I went into depression that she might let me back in pending on how large it was and then not let me back in it made me mad. I hadn't told anyone locally (with the exception of my friend matt and bits and pieces to DOH) because I didn't want to have to face things. I was so desperate to get back in chorale and when she blew up at me telling me that my problems couldn't be as big as anyone elses and that I have to get over breaking up with a bf that made me mad. That's when I told her about being abused in a relation ship. Emotionally, physically, and sexually.

Then for her to go off and say that I had to make the choice between life and chorale. -- I just found that rather callus.


Anyways, I'm working to get back into it for the second half of the year, and taking whatever offers she gives me, but I just don't find it fair. Especially since she gave me no warning whatsoever, knowing full well that I was going through depression.


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Pikasyuu
post May 17 2004, 11:40 PM
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QUOTE (Silver Star Angel of Da Towers @ May 17 2004, 02:58 PM)
You should sue. Depressed isn't something you wake up one morning and decide you wanna be... it's even a chemical imbalance (thank you Zoloft commerical.)!

Excuse me? Sue? Look, you're probably just not reading the other posts, but it's just downright cruel to sue a teacher just because they wont pass you over depression. I'm not saying every case or even most cases are this way, but anyone could easily just walk up to a teacher and make up some story about how terrible their lives are and that they're depressed and expect a boost. Like Missy said, teachers have a lot of people to answer to. They go day in and day out in a not so great job, considering there are lots of kids who aren't very nice to their teachers, for very low pay and then wake up to a law suit over a GRADE?

That's outrageous. I'm sorry, but please think before you post stuff like that.

And to spiffy, I'm really proud you're being patient enough to work with her. Like I said, if she's being completely outlandish and playing favourites, go see an administrator over it .. but only as a last resort.


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Alaric
post May 18 2004, 12:03 AM
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If she wont work with you, go over her head and talk to the admins at your school. That or the school board. Always works.


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spiffilicious05
post May 18 2004, 12:12 AM
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QUOTE
wont pass


won't pass isn't the question, it's just that my grades went from 95's to 92's, and one 89 (which she forgot to add ec but I wasn't that concerned over it).

Anyways, thanks syuu, I'm not expecting her to pass me without doing work. I want to do the work, just I want to be given the chance to redeem myself. Angel is right in the sense that I didn't just wake up one morning and decide to be depressed. It's been a long painful two years. I know my grades dropped, and from talking to my other teachers I'm glad I'm not failing. I'm far from that, but they've had other students who let the depression totally consume them without even trying to fight.

All I'm saying is that I'd like to be given a chance to redeem myself. Not halfway through my yr so that it screws up my schedule, but maybe work with her over the summer (she's a voice teacher) and make up material I missed. Unfortunately she's not willing to do that. I just wish she'd be a little more empathetic about the whole situation.

Thanks again everyone, especially syuu, it's just hard when patients are wearing thin.


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Pab
post May 18 2004, 12:25 AM
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As much as I'm aching to get involved in this thing, i am utterly over my head at the maths of the situation ....

I hope I am not alone in not getting the grades metioned at all:

"95's to 92's, and one 89 " ... for me who is clueless about your pointing system, what does this mean? ... is it a 6% shift down in points? or is it a massive irrecuperable decline? 95out of 100? 200? other?


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jicama
post May 18 2004, 03:22 AM
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ya, i'm also confused... how is an 89 a mark bad enough to get you kicked out of a class? where i come from, an 89 would get you an "honours with distinction" award!


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Patient #212
post May 18 2004, 03:57 AM
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QUOTE
I hope I am not alone in not getting the grades metioned at all:

"95's to 92's, and one 89 " ... for me who is clueless about your pointing system, what does this mean? ... is it a 6% shift down in points? or is it a massive irrecuperable decline? 95out of 100? 200? other?


Out of 100. A 95% is really very good and a 92% is still doing well. And mid-high 80s are still certainly in the "good" range. That's insane that an 89 would have such severe consequences. I wouldn't think she'd freak out like that until you were failing or something (failing = under 70% for those of you not familiar with the system).

Well, this sounds very unfair of her. I can somewhat understand that she didn't want to just completely let you off the hook, but the way she worded her reasoning seems very harsh. If it's really bothering you, I'd perhaps bring it up with an administrator. Good luck with everything.


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{Gothic Angel}
post May 18 2004, 10:49 AM
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Jeeesus... Thats harsh. And how is editing your life up more gonna help? huh.gif

Its a music thing, right? Am I the only person who uses music to get away from my depression/stress/anger whatever? I know if I had my musical stuff taken away from me I would be screwed sad.gif *huggles*

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spiffilicious05
post May 18 2004, 05:01 PM
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QUOTE
Its a music thing, right? Am I the only person who uses music to get away from my depression/stress/anger whatever? I know if I had my musical stuff taken away from me I would be screwed  *huggles*


exactly, that's why I'm so upset over it.


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Sir Psycho Sexy
post May 18 2004, 07:17 PM
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QUOTE (Silver Star Angel of Da Towers @ May 17 2004, 11:58 PM)
You should sue. Depressed isn't something you wake up one morning and decide you wanna be... it's even a chemical imbalance (thank you Zoloft commerical.)!

ah yes, the traditional american miracle cure

edit: sorry, anyway, you clearly have talent (like ravein said, or you wouldn't be on the choir in the first place), and thats all that counts really


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TigerLily013
post May 18 2004, 11:06 PM
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...Is it just me or is there a bit of heated discussion going on in here? Damn people, loosen the ties! Back and fourth, back and fourth. I just KNOW someone will say "oh no we're not" but screw that.

Anyway might as well stay on task. There are just as many good teachers who know how to teach and be aware of their students as the ones who just are plain annoying, stupid or both with other things put into it. Sounds to me one of those teachers who are really serious and have had a lot of crap in the past. I had a substitute once who wouldn't lemme use the washroom after you had these "pardon slips" as she called them run out on you, and in those times that time of the month was so annoying! I actually thought she was being just an overall b*tch. I look back on that now and still think she is a bit cynical on how she treated people, she had her reasons though.

I totally get what you're sayng though as well. My current teacher Mr.Horne, he's better this year a little but the way his style of teaching is not one that is effective by experience. He would try to be buddy-to-buddy at the beginning of the year with everyone THEN later on bring in the authority. This year actually was alright but he still tries way too hard with the power trip concept (sound familiar?) and still picks anti-favourites to pester even though they do nothing wrong. Least He doesn't give me lip anymore after what happened last year.

Anyway the point I was trying to make is there's many teachers who can't teach or that are just too serious because of problems they've had, so they had to really pull it all together. It's not that right at all what your teach did. Like Missy said, talk to people higher than her you know who might listen.


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spiffilicious05
post May 19 2004, 12:02 AM
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I'm definitely not saying that she's a horrible teacher (although many complain about her style of teaching) - actually she can be quite fun. However, the way she handled this whole situation just went against the grain of my core. When people receiving 85's who are her favorite students are getting in next year I just get frustraited. Then, if I go above her and get in the corse that way, she'll just always be mad at me. So, instead, I just have to work to get something back that was taken away (unfairly in my opinion).

QUOTE
ah yes, the traditional american miracle cure


I find that statement completely untrue. The majority of my friends and I do everything we can NOT to take medicines. This includes herbal remedies (some of which taste really nasty - stuffed nose cure: kayan pepper and v8 tomato juice) and meditation. I actually refuse to take any medications for my depression, I don't believe in it.


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The water's warm and children swim
And we frolicked about in our summer skin


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ljmortimer
post May 19 2004, 12:12 AM
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choose life, choose a job, choose a career, choose a family, choose a f*cking big television smile.gif

why are you so bothered about being kicked out of this class?
if you have talent then it wont matter. maybe i dont understand.
is there no other way?
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