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> A Message From Dayan's Mother
Mata
post May 25 2004, 03:38 PM
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Hi all, I just got an email from Dayan's mother. If you don't know who Dayan is, he was a mod on these boards until late last year when he killed himself and he is greatly missed. Anyway, it's a nice note and I think it's to everyone who knew him on here as much as it is to me:

QUOTE
Hi,

Sorry it's taken a while, but just wanted to say thanks for the flowers and kind words.

D spent some of the best times of his life in the forum, and made some of his best friends - I'm happy it was there for him.


Love Carol xx


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MistressAlti
post May 25 2004, 04:08 PM
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Thanks for sharing that with us, Mata...
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Righteous
post May 25 2004, 04:11 PM
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Likewise, man. It should help to heal some wounds here.


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CommieBastard
post May 25 2004, 05:22 PM
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Thanks for passing that on, Mata.


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WeeJ
post May 25 2004, 05:41 PM
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Yeah, thanks Mata.

I've often thought of phoning Dayan's parents to pass on my condolences, but I'm ashamed to say I never plucked up the courage sad.gif I hope both his mom and dad are doing well and I'm sure all of us here pass on our thoughts to them.


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ravein
post May 25 2004, 05:50 PM
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thanks mata.. I miss him so much sometimes...


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gothictheysay
post May 25 2004, 08:30 PM
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Thanks Mata...I never knew Dayan but I think about him all the time...may he rest in peace...


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spiffilicious05
post May 25 2004, 09:49 PM
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I never really talked to Dayan much, and I whole heartidly regret it. Thank you for sharing that with us Mata, and thanks to Dayan's mom for the letter and sense of closure.


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Phyllis
post May 26 2004, 05:09 AM
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QUOTE (ravein @ May 25 2004, 09:49 AM)
thanks mata.. I miss him so much sometimes...

Ditto, on both parts.

And don't feel bad, WeeJ. Doing things like that is really hard. Well, at least for me, it is. I'm horrible at expressing condolences...especially when I loved the person myself. Don't feel guilty.


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Pixelgoth
post May 26 2004, 09:24 AM
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Thanks Mata. It's lovely to know that she knew about us and that Dayan loved being here. We know he did but it's nice to hear it again.

I was talking to my friend (Tony) this weekend who's friend (Mike) committed suicide a few weeks ago. He asked whether I remembered Mike and as I did he told me about it. It bought it all back and I asked if I could light the rest of the candle that I had for Dayan when they had Mike's funeral/remembrance. I actually made Tony cry which is unusual for Tony and I felt really bad (although he said not to smile.gif). It made me cry too sad.gif For my memories and for the loss of another fun, happy-go-lucky, young person. I'd only met him once (like Dayan) but I remember him being a laugh (like Dayan!).

My thoughts go out to all today and a mental hug to anyone who needs one *hug* smile.gif


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Pab
post May 26 2004, 09:33 AM
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yeah ... thanks Mata ... and thanks Carol ... I join in the round of hugs ...


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{Gothic Angel}
post May 26 2004, 10:05 AM
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Thanks Mata. Kinda wish i'd known him better, but at least we know he was definately loved.


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Spacehappy
post May 26 2004, 07:18 PM
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Thank you for sharing Mata. He will always be our absent member.
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Pikasyuu
post May 26 2004, 10:48 PM
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As everyone said, thanks for sharing.

I've been talking with Dayan's mum off and on through email since December since I decided to check up on her after it happened, and I have to say, she's one of the sweetest, most inspirational people. After she sent me his CKY shirt and that letter, well, I just .. owe her the world. These last few months have been impossible. Everyone who knew him knows that, that it's just .. God, I don't mean to be so depressing, but the whole thing about Dayan is that he had such a great, perfect influence on me, not having him has just been like having a part ripped out that couldn't possibly be replaced .. I know other people feel that way, and I just want you to know you're not alone. Even now, it's still devistating.

But, I reccomend that.. if you really want to talk with someone about how much you loved Dayan, she's a really, really wonderful lady.


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Dreams On Hiatus
post May 27 2004, 12:34 AM
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Didn't know Dayan, but I still feel sad. *hugs for everybody*


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Sir Psycho Sexy
post May 27 2004, 01:09 AM
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QUOTE (syuu @ May 26 2004, 11:47 PM)
she's a really, really wonderful lady.

I'll second that, I promised Katii I'd pass a hug onto her after the funeral, not actually knowing her I felt a little awkward, so I decided to just pass it on in a verbal way (being the shy type), anyway, finishing saying what I had spent at least half an hour making sound best, she grabbed me and hugged me tight. smile.gif

Even when I told her I got him drunk and put him up in a hotel in Birmingham ("oh, you're him"). With that one experience, I have to say she's a very friendly and affectionate person. In fact her whole family seem very cool, none of them we even slightly surprised that a forumite attended the funeral, they even went out of their way to get me to the after gathering....probably because sean said something...but still, yeah.


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LoLo
post May 27 2004, 01:12 AM
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QUOTE (syuu @ May 26 2004, 02:47 PM)
she's a really, really wonderful lady.

I'll third that. I exchanged a couple of emails with her a few months back and it was just a pleasure to email back and forth. I guess someone told her about the memorial site and she says she goes there whenever she misses him. I'm glad that that is there for more than just us on the forums.

Thanks for sharing your contact with her Mata.

God I miss that guy.


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kidvicious2punk
post May 27 2004, 03:12 AM
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I was just thinking about him the other day in science

...

We were watching a film on how a glass eye is made...

If you didnt really know dayan that well ill fill you in:

He had this glass eye and would put it in peoples drinks..lol...weej :-p

Yah i wish i could have talked to him more than i did tho...

that was a sweet letter and a nice thing to pass on

Though his time on earth was far too short...i know hes happy now

Pulling the glass eye in the cup of angels everywhere...


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Pixelgoth
post May 27 2004, 09:59 AM
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QUOTE (Sir_Psycho_Sexy @ May 27 2004, 01:08 AM)
Even when I told her I got him drunk and put him up in a hotel in Birmingham ("oh, you're him"). With that one experience, I have to say she's a very friendly and affectionate person.

I remember that! biggrin.gif I remember giving you about £5 in chance towards to cost and that was all I had left....I think....anyway you looked so confused and even in the psots afterwards you asked why I'd done it. I told you at the time so I think it wasn't just Dayan that was very, very drunk! tongue.gif I spoke to him very little but just having him there and seeing what a state he was in made me feel all mothering to him.....that and I was probably the oldest girl in the group that day and felt it was my duty! laugh.gif


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spiffilicious05
post May 27 2004, 12:59 PM
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You know, I saw somebody giving a speach on a sitcom the other day and it made me think of Dayan and this thread. The speach was about how life is like editing and remembering only the good things, and the times that you choose to remember.

I think that's what we've all done (or at least what we all should do). Remember the fun times the forums had with Dayan, because if we focus on his death then that's all he'll be remembered by.

I don't know if anyone else does this - but every now and then I go back and read some of his posts. Just to see how much I interacted with him, and what I came up with was that though I didn't interact with him a lot at all, the times that he and I did talk were funny as hell.


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Silver Star Ange...
post May 27 2004, 01:29 PM
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That's a really nice note. It makes me feel peaceful, and proud to have known him.


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craziness
post May 28 2004, 04:19 AM
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oh god. after so much time, he and one other good friend here (name is CLASSIFIED) were my reasons to come back. of course, i loved everyone here and missed them all, but these 2 i was dieing for. i cried for hours when i found out. i was so low and depressed, i just needed to talk to him. he always made me better with laughter and music. he was one of the forumites who, despite leaving the forum, i planned on meeting eventually. he always helped so much. dayan, i love you, i miss you, and you were and still are and always will be a treasured friend to me, weather i ever met you in person or not.

if anyone wants to talk about dayan with me, please PM me. i'd love to email carol, but i dont know her email adress. where will i find it?


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Phyllis
post May 28 2004, 05:05 AM
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QUOTE (craziness @ May 27 2004, 08:18 PM)
if anyone wants to talk about dayan with me, please PM me. i'd love to email carol, but i dont know her email adress. where will i find it?

I'll PM it to you. Don't wanna post it in the thread in case non-forumites come in here and decide to spam her or something.


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post May 28 2004, 08:39 AM
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QUOTE (kidvicious2punk @ May 27 2004, 03:11 AM)
Pulling the glass eye in the cup of angels everywhere...

i sincerely hope so. i never spoke to him much but you can still feel the gap he's left. i hope that he's happy, way up there...scaring angels...


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post May 28 2004, 11:33 PM
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Many thanks to Carol, and to Mata for posting her words. I would, like Crazi, be very grateful for her email address. It may be arrogant of me, but I always felt that he and I had one of the strongest friendships amongst all the forumites here. We affected each other's lives in quite major ways, and I am grateful for what little time I had with him. I would like to pass these sentiments on.

Of course, I dedicated a drink to him on my birthday. They had no Pepsi Max, but it was a Cockbasket nonetheless.


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