IPB

Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

 Forum Rules 
 
Reply to this topicStart new topic
> Out Of Context Quotes, Oh, the hilarity.
Righteous
post Jun 1 2004, 06:56 PM
Post #1


Shut up, noob!
*************

Group: Established Members
Posts: 5,760
Joined: 7-June 03
From: The Dina, No Flo
Member No.: 367
Gender: Male



When quotes are taken out of context, they can either 1) lose their significance or 2) sound utterly hilarious. Let us share some of the latter.

"Put the boobs back where you found them" -my former coworker Sentri while some kids were messing around with these boob-shaped stress balls.

"X-ray film! Do not fold!" -Me while reading the folder that held my friend's X-rays.

"I humped his car!" -My brother illustrating how he knew our classmate's older brother.

"Dude, I'm glowing." -Little Matt upon discovering glow-in-the-dark face paint.

"Keep the door closed and hopefully they'll all die." -Me when flies infested our bathroom (thanks Rach) and we put up fly paper to keep them at bay.


--------------------
With every breath...and all that I am...I will make a stand...until the end.


Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Spacehappy
post Jun 1 2004, 08:03 PM
Post #2


Matazone acolyte
**********

Group: Established Members
Posts: 994
Joined: 27-March 03
Member No.: 183
Gender: Secret



Jesus said this

"Suffer the little children to come unto Me" taken out of context he was a bastard.

"'And they brought young children to Him, that He should touch them: and His disciples rebuked those that brought them. But when Jesus saw it, He was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto Me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God' (Mark 10:13-14).

In context he was no Micheal Jackson.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Twitching
post Jun 1 2004, 08:24 PM
Post #3


like peppermint aftertaste
******

Group: New Members
Posts: 263
Joined: 15-November 03
From: Los Angeles
Member No.: 714
Gender: Female



"I'm following the line!" ~ my friend Heather explaining how she was trying not to get us lost as she drove us home.

"Can we borrow your hose?" ~ it was a garden hose, and we had soda all over our hands.


--------------------
Medae is my n00b!

Oink!
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
kidvicious2punk
post Jun 2 2004, 04:08 AM
Post #4


word
************

Group: Established Members
Posts: 3,699
Joined: 5-June 03
Member No.: 359
Gender: Secret



"The cow is naked and squeaky"-regaurding the state of cleanliness of a cow taking a bath


"GOD his hands were cold.."-this guy brushed my friends hand..lol..it sounds soo dirty..take a bath with the cow..lol


--------------------
salviadivinorum.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Mutilation
post Jun 2 2004, 06:30 AM
Post #5


Speed of Life
*********

Group: Established Members
Posts: 694
Joined: 18-February 04
From: Leicester
Member No.: 952
Gender: Male



"I invented the internet" - Al Gore

"We hope to show how precious we think life is by reinitiating the death sentence" - Some dude

Wait, those are hilarious anyway.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
{Gothic Angel}
post Jun 2 2004, 09:22 AM
Post #6


My direction
************

Group: Established Members
Posts: 2,189
Joined: 30-July 03
Member No.: 495
Gender: Female



QUOTE (Spacehappy @ Jun 1 2004, 08:02 PM)
"'And they brought young children to Him, that He should touch them: and His disciples rebuked those that brought them. But when Jesus saw it, He was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto Me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God' (Mark 10:13-14).

In context he was no Micheal Jackson.

Errrm... And that sounds non-MJ-ish because...?

The majority of our imports come from outside the country -George Bush

If we dont succeed we run the risk of faliure -George Bush

We have a firm commitment to NATO. We are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe. -George Bush

And finally...

I stand by all the misstatements I have made -Geroge Bush

biggrin.gif


--------------------
Once opened consume within three days. Above post is not suitable for home freezing. Store in a cool, dry area.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Righteous
post Jun 4 2004, 03:53 AM
Post #7


Shut up, noob!
*************

Group: Established Members
Posts: 5,760
Joined: 7-June 03
From: The Dina, No Flo
Member No.: 367
Gender: Male



"Just put the damn thing in your mouth and suck on it." -Some friend of Harmonie's brother-in-law when he was lighting a cigarette I bummed from him.

"Well, like playing golf and having sex with eachother." -My high school economics teacher "Uncle Steve" Rathmann talking about this photographer sponsored by the National Endowment for the Arts who photographs, "gay men doing what gay men do," to which this dude said, "Like playing golf?"


--------------------
With every breath...and all that I am...I will make a stand...until the end.


Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
gothictheysay
post Jun 7 2004, 04:11 PM
Post #8


living in your basement, eating your candy hearts
************

Group: Established Members
Posts: 3,426
Joined: 23-February 04
From: cloud cuckoo land
Member No.: 959
Gender: Female



"Did we give all the guns back to the neighbors?"

My friend's sister Jackie - she was talking about water guns we had borrowed for a water war.


--------------------
Being corrupted by candice since 2004
teal and orange is the way forward
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
sjbbandgeek
post Jun 7 2004, 10:59 PM
Post #9


...
**********

Group: Established Members
Posts: 750
Joined: 2-October 03
From: In front of a computer, duh.
Member No.: 618
Gender: Male



meh, the best I can remember is "Wow! That's alot of nuts!" when a friend went to a peanut factory.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
gothictheysay
post Jun 8 2004, 03:22 AM
Post #10


living in your basement, eating your candy hearts
************

Group: Established Members
Posts: 3,426
Joined: 23-February 04
From: cloud cuckoo land
Member No.: 959
Gender: Female



"No! Don't open that coffin, it's ticking!" - Futurama in background

"you could have just said it's hot" and "do you have a sexy scalp"

the second one is after I bragged about my sexy scalp, that first one was asked by a friend and came out of nowhere


--------------------
Being corrupted by candice since 2004
teal and orange is the way forward
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Marsyas
post Jun 8 2004, 04:20 AM
Post #11


Apparently squishy
********

Group: New Members
Posts: 481
Joined: 5-December 03
From: Just another red state
Member No.: 763



"Run on your balls!"

Something my former biology teacher was yelling after school during cross-country practice...talking about running on the balls of your feet.

"Do me! Do me now!"

More biology hilarity. We had to do a lab in which one person was designated the taker of blood pressure. So the rest of us were all laying on tables for a specfic amount of time waiting for this person to come take our blood pressure, and one girl moaned this really loud to get the person's attention. Turned into one big weird sexual joke after that. Our poor professor didn't know how to take this the whole year...the unit on human reproduction was especially interesting. rolleyes.gif


--------------------
Come away! O human child,
To the waters and the wild
With a faery hand in hand
For the world's more full of weeping
Than you can understand...


Quite possibly one of the most beautiful things you will ever hear
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
gothictheysay
post Jun 8 2004, 05:01 AM
Post #12


living in your basement, eating your candy hearts
************

Group: Established Members
Posts: 3,426
Joined: 23-February 04
From: cloud cuckoo land
Member No.: 959
Gender: Female



QUOTE
"Do me! Do me now!"


Yes, that's happened many times before! Rob was cracking my thumb in some odd way and this girl he likes but can never get to go out with him runs up and says "Do me! Do me!" holding out her hands. He swivels around - "Do you? Sure!" rolleyes.gif


--------------------
Being corrupted by candice since 2004
teal and orange is the way forward
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
The Lorax
post Jun 8 2004, 05:04 AM
Post #13


Superterriffic.
*******

Group: Established Members
Posts: 394
Joined: 2-April 04
Member No.: 1,052
Gender: Female



"So what if I stay up all night? 'S prime time for naughty, baby!"--Me responding to my mom's accusation that I stay up too late.

"You and your morals! You make me sick I tell you sick!"--Me talking to my friend

"I can't wait till you're smothered by your boobs in the middle of the night!"--my brother.

"Where are your balls NOW Duhon?"--a friend of mine talking to my Vice Principal after someone egged his car.


--------------------
[center]Lets all get drunk, tonight.[/center]
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Dreams On Hiatus
post Jun 8 2004, 12:21 PM
Post #14


<3
***********

Group: Established Members
Posts: 1,021
Joined: 20-December 03
From: Upstate New York
Member No.: 806
Gender: Female



"You're stiff and she's wacky." -- my sister on...something. I forget.


--------------------
IPB Image Dance, kitteh, dance!
IPB ImageIPB ImageIPB Image
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
vicrawr
post Jun 8 2004, 03:17 PM
Post #15



************

Group: Moderators
Posts: 1,767
Joined: 9-June 03
From: North Carolina
Member No.: 374
Gender: Male



“All you could see was weiners. It was kind of comforting, because they were small weiners.” – My buddy Tom talking about the nude beach scene in Euro Trip.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Dolty McDaft
post Jun 8 2004, 03:34 PM
Post #16


Super advanced member
****

Group: New Members
Posts: 95
Joined: 22-March 04
From: I live in Colorado. Get over it.
Member No.: 1,028



"'Cause if I were and Oscar Meyer wiener, everyone would be in love with me."

Hopefully I don't have to explain.


--------------------
*twitch*

>(|||> The Uber-Carrot attacks!

Authors. Even the sane ones are nuts.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
gothictheysay
post Jun 10 2004, 06:51 PM
Post #17


living in your basement, eating your candy hearts
************

Group: Established Members
Posts: 3,426
Joined: 23-February 04
From: cloud cuckoo land
Member No.: 959
Gender: Female



"That's different for two reasons. Firstly, I'm talking about parchment made from human skin."

Commie, from the It's Your Funeral post in Issues. laugh.gif


--------------------
Being corrupted by candice since 2004
teal and orange is the way forward
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Greeneyes
post Jun 10 2004, 07:01 PM
Post #18


The Key of Joy is disobedience.
************

Group: Established Members
Posts: 2,093
Joined: 4-May 04
From: The UK of GB and NI.
Member No.: 1,102
Gender: Male



"There are three kinds of people, those who can count, and those who can't"

Not really out of context. Not a quote either, but I like it.

And I'm surprised the grammer nazis haven't attacked the title of this thread yet. Slackers. laugh.gif
</off topic>


--------------------
Waiting for a superhero intervention
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
gothictheysay
post Jun 10 2004, 07:10 PM
Post #19


living in your basement, eating your candy hearts
************

Group: Established Members
Posts: 3,426
Joined: 23-February 04
From: cloud cuckoo land
Member No.: 959
Gender: Female



Out-of-Context Quotes

there, happier? tongue.gif


--------------------
Being corrupted by candice since 2004
teal and orange is the way forward
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Dolty McDaft
post Jun 10 2004, 10:43 PM
Post #20


Super advanced member
****

Group: New Members
Posts: 95
Joined: 22-March 04
From: I live in Colorado. Get over it.
Member No.: 1,028



"Far be it from me to turn down slave labor" this was from my local radio station anouncer, who was recruiting interns.


--------------------
*twitch*

>(|||> The Uber-Carrot attacks!

Authors. Even the sane ones are nuts.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Righteous
post Jun 13 2004, 04:33 AM
Post #21


Shut up, noob!
*************

Group: Established Members
Posts: 5,760
Joined: 7-June 03
From: The Dina, No Flo
Member No.: 367
Gender: Male



"One of you get in here and pour this sh*t on my nipple!" -Me after the guys put fly paper on my nipple and it left a gooey residue behind. I then needed one of them to pour rubbing alcohol on it while I lay in the shower.


--------------------
With every breath...and all that I am...I will make a stand...until the end.


Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
PsychWardMike
post Jun 13 2004, 09:02 PM
Post #22


I'm attracted by the potential for reckless abuse of power.
************

Group: Established Members
Posts: 2,683
Joined: 7-May 04
From: Viewtiful World
Member No.: 1,105
Gender: Male



"And that's when I realized that everything I needed to know about sex, drugs, and rock and roll I had already learned from Screech."

I don't know where the hell that came from... I think it was when I was drunk, so it probably wasn't that articulate, but you get the idea.

"42."

Douglas Adams. 'Nuff said.

"Be afraid. Be... sorta afraid. Be... fairly confused."


--------------------
I'm just a Viewtiful Girl living in a Viewtiful World.
Henshin a-go-go, baby.

I swear to God, the above post was not intended to incite flame wars or to offend you.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Righteous
post Jun 14 2004, 10:50 PM
Post #23


Shut up, noob!
*************

Group: Established Members
Posts: 5,760
Joined: 7-June 03
From: The Dina, No Flo
Member No.: 367
Gender: Male



"They're not very outgoing because they're poor." -My buddy Alan while he and Rick were making the Jackson family on the Sims.


--------------------
With every breath...and all that I am...I will make a stand...until the end.


Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Mutilation
post Jun 15 2004, 11:42 AM
Post #24


Speed of Life
*********

Group: Established Members
Posts: 694
Joined: 18-February 04
From: Leicester
Member No.: 952
Gender: Male



"There's no white stuff in there!" - Me to my boyfriend













Context: I saw my bf's attempt at making a banana milkshake with a blender, and he was trying ot blend some bananas without putting any milk in first. Good thign I got there in time.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post

Reply to this topicStart new topic
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

 



Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 20th October 2017 - 09:01 AM
Use these links if you're going to shop at Amazon and a percentage of what you spend goes towards helping this site!